this is my lawyer – he drives a beemer; he’s holding up 4 fingers, because he is joyful.

i love him. he’s my brother.

We’re recovering from our deluge – though the evidence of the flood is manifesting in swelled sheetrock, buckled ceilings, & exposed nails all over the place. Just in time for a trip to Europe!

Working through the unknowns of “how is this going to be taken care of?” Insurance company wants nothing to do with it – they don’t exist to cover stuff like this, only to take our premium monthly. After all, we had a flood before, & now become a risk (translation: if something happens where damage occurs to the INSURED HOUSE, we call the company insuring the house to work through it… go figure.) The plumbing company sounds more like the black knight from “The Holy Grail” fame, minimizing the damage done with countless, “It’s a mere flesh wound. A scratch.” Plus, we are remodeling, so what are a couple extra rooms worth of work?

bottom line, I’m feeling the pressure – deadlines for Germany trip, deadlines for house remodel, deadlines for prepping church for 2 weeks of no one in the office, deadlines…

My responses have been typical for me under pressure – terse, intense, loud even. Not handling the pressure well, Master Yoda would say – evidence of what lies beneath the surface in the heart Matthew 7 would say. Work in me Jesus – I need you BIG

We spent the whole day at the church today – it was the very last day of Kidland camp, so my kids made sure to sqeeze every last bit of fun from the day. By the time we finally got home, we were dead tired, & ready for nothing more strenuous than 2 episodes of Stargate SG-1 (we’re in Season 4, Disk 3, thank you for asking.)

I thought something might be amiss when I went into the downstairs bathroom & the rug was wet; the kind of wet that says a) it rained w/the window open b) the boys missed again, or c) we’ve got some leakage. But no, I’m tired, it has to be wet from the rain. Yesterday’s rain, right?

So, I went from denial in the bathroom to the garage – did I mention that I have a garage that is indoors, shielded from the elements? I do. Anyways, all of the lights in the garage are burned out, (so it’s dark – I like the dark, so its ok,) and while I’m doing the laundry (cleaning my whites & blatantly sucking up to the woman of the house… ) I feel rain. In the garage. Looking up, I see (in the dark) a stream of water pouring onto the floor. Inside. I can no longer live in denial. So I must minimize.

The wife calls the plumbers who’ve been working upstairs (did I mention we’re having a complete remodel of our bathroom done so that not one, but two (2!) people can stand in the bathroom at the same time?!) – she begins to describe the problem, & we get a plumber to come visit us for special. No worries, I’m off the hook. Time for Stargate.

And then the plumber arrives to check out the damage – I hear his arrival, but am much too absorbed in Sci-Fi (O’Neill’s search for the Goa’uld & the unas that took Daniel Jackson,) – then the noise starts – kinda like when you’re powerwashing the outside of your house. Problem is, it’s coming from inside. And the plumber is running. And yelling. No more Stargate; I cannot minimize any longer. Water is dripping from the 2nd floor down into the ceiling & walls of my first floor. The ceiling is sagging, the light sockets ooze water. There is plastic all over the floor to protect the carpet we’re removing in 3 months. The water has been turned off, but the ceiling sags more; I can’t use the toilet, & now I have to go bad. The wife is snapping pictures like a tourist @ Disneyland – water drips. I’m surrounded by water – time to move the computer… & the TV.

What comes next? I don’t know; I am an indoor person who types on computers, reads books, & stuff like that. Fixing Things is what you get people to come do at your house – people that Know What They Are Doing.

If I play my cards right, I’ll get to see Stargate tonight.

i just finished a book by a guy named donald miller called “searching for God knows what.” it deals with the idea that Christianity is taught to us & often practiced as though it is merely a formula that is to be followed; a good moral code, a list of do’s & don’ts that should be followed at all costs. sounds good, right?

the problem with that, according to miller, is that it isn’t what Christ & His followers were to be about – instead the life of the Christ-follower is to be about relationship. basically stated, it is to love God & to love others. we relay to others that we are Christ-followers by our love (ala the Gospel O’ John 13:34,35)

it’s a very good book that at the same time is very disturbing, not so much for it’s content, but for the way it contrasts Christ’s stated purpose for the Church & also what we have made “the church” – a religious institution that is most intent on perpetuating itself, along with a distinct moral, social, & political agenda that often don’t even come close to representing the Christ who saved us. ya oughta take a look at it.

over the last week, i found myself in the middle of a conversation that was more like a “confrontation” than just me talking with someone. i won’t bother getting into the actual subject matter of the “confron-versation”, but i do want to say that it didn’t catch me by surprise; i’d actually spent a significant portion of time reflecting on just what i’d say IF such a confrontation ever broke out. with this person. on this topic. (there you have a great picture of the inner-workings of my brain. joy.)

the point is, though the discussion went a lot like i’d imagined it would, it wasn’t too painful; i said everything that i wanted to, (civilly, even,) thereby avoiding the post-confrontation regrets. much of the apprehension & anxiety i’d felt leading up to it was unnecessary. sitting around thinking & analyzing after the talk (another “scoey-d brain at work” moment,) i realize that i have wasted a lot of time in my life on anxiety. i don’t even want to think about all the other times where i’ve been anxious, & for nothing.

“be anxious in nothing, but in everything, with prayer & supplication makes your requests known to God. and the peace of God which surpasses understanding will guard your hearts & minds in Christ Jesus…” (from the best as i can remember it version)

work this in me God –

i got a note from a friend who now lives in another state. they commented on feeling like they didn’t fit it because of the tangible “Conservative Christian Culture..” here’s a portion of my response…

i understand what you’re saying about fitting in – w/in the church world, i’ve often felt out of place, like the person i am, & am becoming, is just off-center enough to not be a part of the church world that so many seem others to accept, buy into, & seamlessly flow with. it’s like there’s a joke that everyone seems to get except for me. still, as much as I’ve felt like an outsider, i’ve tried not to let that define who i am; rather, i’ve taken to being pretty excited about the quirky-ness of being me, & knowing that God put me together just the way He did for His purposes, & to reach others that are a bit off-center as well. now, it’s not me that has the problem w/my “un-conservatism” (aka: my created uniqueness) but others who think that clone-liness is next to godliness.

keep being you. it is a good thing, & is something that no one else on the planet can be.

i was reading in 1Timothy 4:7,8 today – it says

:Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for physical/bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since is holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

it got me to thinking – i spend a good chunk of time working out – trying to get my physical body “in shape.” part of it is that i want to be healthy and live a long & productive life, but a larger part is that i care how i look on the outside. makes me wonder – do i think & care more about my physical body & my appearance than i do about the spiritual part of me? is my exterior getting all the attention, while the interior, the spiritual part of me, gets leftovers?

God, please show me how you would have me to live & to discipline myself for Your purposes; i want to be set apart to live a life of godliness, & not just spend my days dealing w/an exterior that is doomed to deteriorate anyway. give me Your priorities for my life…

fridays are my day off… that being the case, i should be set for a day of ‘relaxation.’ however, the ability to relax often eludes me – which makes it extra tough to really, truly take a “day off,” (aka a day of rest, a sabbath)- it wouldn’t take much cross-eyed reasoning to convince myself that i wasn’t working SO hard, & that i was sorta relaxing by my half-way, half-hearted obedience to God’s commandment that has my physical, emotional, & even spiritual well-being at it’s heart. Lord, show me how to relax, to unwind, to be still

Weezer & Annie Herring – post-Concert @ Hillside Foursquare Church! 

one of the things that truly gives me joy is seeing my kids enjoy themselves – perhaps this is most seen in the life & times of weezer, my 8-year old. last night, our church hosted Annie Herring for a concert of worship – weezer was absolutely captured by this woman of grace & elegance, who, more importantly to weezer, immediately included her in her pre-concert routine & made her feel absolutely like 1 million dollars. (it was so cool for Annie to teach weez how to do real girl-pushups… i’ve never quite been able to get those down…)

long after we got home, weez was still listening (& singing along) to the Annie Herring cd that she’d purchased with her own $15; she was caught up in the wonder of having yet another woman in her life as a role model (after her mom of course.) in Annie, she gets a woman who loves Jesus Christ & has set Him apart in her life to bring Him fame & honor by the way she lives. i am thankful for the impact made in my little girl’s life, & pray that i too will be able to be the kind of role model she can follow

my family has a tradition for the 4th – we watch “Independence Day” together – big fun around a familiar movie – the wife always cries when the president’s wife dies, even though we’ve seen the movie about 20 times. (if you did the math, you know that this means we’ve watched it more than once a year. but i digress.) we love will smith in this flick!

very cool to be in a completely different time of life, yet to revisit an old friend (albeit a movie) & as a family no less. the kids look forward to it almost more than i do, though not w/o popcorn… i wonder how much the tradition helps to define & give meaning to our family, as well to provide a framework for some great memories for all of us – also makes me wonder if these fun traditions will be a source of antagonism for future family once the kids get married & procreate… it amuses me.

i’m thankful for the respite that the day off provides – rest, family, popcorn & a movie – simple things