Au jus, indelible marks, sin, & forgiveness…

Sunday after church, I had a church council meeting. Even though lunch is provided, I don’t normally eat AT the meeting; I wait until AFTER the meeting to ravenously scarf up any remnants of the lunch that remained. Though this usually works for me, (in that I survive it,) it really doesn’t work for me, as the chances of me ending up hangry after a full day of church, lots of people interactions, & a church council meeting, all done without a meal, are about 99.44 out of 100%.

So this week, to the rejoicing of theBean, I chose to eat lunch during the council meeting, at the same time everyone else was eating. And the food was so good – mini-cuban & mini-roast beef slider-sandwiches baked, casserole style, using King’s Hawaiian rolls.

Somewhere in the midst of the meeting, eating, talking, & multi-tasking, I found a way to get a noticeable sized amount of au jus on my left pant leg, probably from an overzealous dipping of the roast beef into the au jus, & even though I’d tried to rush the food into my mouth, some of it, the juicy part, had gotten on my pants. No worries; I’d take care of it at home.

We’d (meaning theBean) made the au jus using lots of fat & drippings & yummy goodness, so I wanted to make sure when it came time to wash my pants I did the appropriate amount of “pre-treatment” on the au jus stain so it would actually come out of the pants, & not serve as an indelible mark, a visible reminder of both that lunch & also my propensity to miss my mouth when I’m eating.

  • NOTE: TheBean offered to help me (translation: do it for me) but, hey, I’m in the 4th grade, (Dan in Real Life reference) so I figured I’d handle it myself.
  • NOTE 2: I was watching the 49ers/Eagles game, so I maaay have hurried through the application of the Spray & Wash (though I am 50% sure I sprayed the spray on the correct spot on the correct leg)

At some point during the game I heard the washer stop so I ran & very responsibly, threw the clothes into the dryer & rushed back to the game before the commercial ended.

  • NOTE 3: I have DVR. I could have pressed the “PAUSE” button & taken my time, but instead I did it, 70s style.
  • NOTE 4: TheBean asked if I had checked the pant leg to make sure the spot had come out in the wash. I distinctly remember telling her, “I didn’t need to because I treated the pant leg.” Who’s a great big boy?!

In the aftermath of the 49ers total domination of the Eagles, I decided to pull my clothes from the dryer & fold them as I watched highlights of the game I’d just watched, beginning to end. (Anybody else do that?)

When I went to fold my pants I decided to admire my handiwork… And I discovered that the au jus spot was still there. In all its glory. Oh no. Even I know what happens when you dry clothes that have stains in them; you set the stains in the clothes, FOREVER. My favorite pants. Forever to be marked by a very visible reminder of some really great au jus.

TheBean said she’d try to look at them for me later, but I wasn’t holding out much hope.


TheBean opened at work the next morning so I was left to my own devices. I sat staring at my stained pants, wondering, thinking, pondering…

Soon my thoughts weren’t on my pants; I was thinking about sin & the mark it can leave in our lives… & how our best efforts to ‘clean up’ the mess left behind through our actions (intentional or otherwise) are woefully inadequate. And how its only the blood of Jesus that takes away, washes away, truly cleanses us from all of our sin.

And I had an idea – I decided to try Dawn PowerWash mixed with Spray & Wash on both the inside of the pant leg & the outside. I liberally applied both substances to the pants while crying out to Jesus about the state of my pants (but it really seemed like it was about more than that, like my soul was involved too.)

I put the pants into the washer, said one last prayer, & started the wash.


45 minutes later, I pulled the pants out of the washer & checked the pant leg for the stain.

Nothing.

I checked the other leg, thinking I must have looked at the wrong one.

Still nothing.

I didn’t trust it enough to put it into the dryer, so I hung the pants on our stair railing & left for work.


When theBean & I arrived home late that evening, I rushed upstairs to check on my mostly dry pants to see if the stain was still visible… it was not. Every trace was gone. Couldn’t even tell where it had been. There was great rejoicing.

And again thoughts of sin & forgiveness crossed my mind, along with the hymn “Nothing But the Blood of Jesus.” 

Scripture verses sprang to mind as I heard the reminders of God’s goodness, in Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, of the promise of forgiveness of sins; not just some of them, or most of them, or parts of them… ALL of them.

And I wept with thankfulness. Not just about my pants. But about my soul too.

 “Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.” Isaiah 1:18

If we confess our sins, He is faithful & just to forgive us our sins & to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9

Thoughts on making disciples… or an email I wrote to a friend who encourages & challenges me to use my brain & my heart…

TheBean & I are on “day 4” of our recovery time from our trip to Germany. As I reflect on our time in Germany, I’m reminded of an email I wrote to a dear friend, Kurt, in response to his “hope letter” (You can read it & his other “hope letters” HERE.) This particular hope letter was called, “I’m gonna need that back,” referencing a desire to reclaim the word “Disciple.”  I’d encourage you to check it out & then give this a read as well…


Kurt –

thank you for this… esp. the “I’m gonna need that back” for disciple. As I type this, Joni & I are in Berlin, nearing the end of a 17 day trip to several spots in Germany, brought here by the invitation of a local German pastor & longtime friend. We spent a week of our trip with him & the church at Bielefeld, called “Christ for All People” – it’s made up of/represented by about 15 nations & they have weekly translation of the services into English, Russian, Arabic & a handful of other languages, as needed.
The thing that has stood out to me about this trip is the focus our friends have on ‘making disciples.’ My friend Ewald is a regular traveler to Central Asia (Kazakhstan & all the “other stans” in the region, as well as Mongolia.) In many of the places he & his friends are going, they are seeing 1st generation Christians, meaning: the first people in their neighborhood, village, city, region, & even country(!) to become Christians. Places where the ‘old heads’ of Christianity have been walking with Jesus for 20 years, maybe, with no prior history at all of Jesus people in the region. In many ways, it tells/reads like the Book of Acts, complete with the living, breathing, Paul & Barnabas, Silas & John Mark teams of older/longer believing believers heading to regions to bring the encouragement of Christ, to rehearse the teachings of Jesus with people largely (completely?)  untouched by the junk I often associate with what we experience in the Western (American?) version of christianity (little c on purpose).
All that to say – I read your hopeletter, & I’m encouraged… because I know you. We. Many others. Are being stirred to ’need that back’, to contend for discipleship to not be a program led by a solitary director, sequestered in a building away from the people, but to be a multi-way process & exchange between peoples choosing to seek Jesus, to listen to the Holy Spirit, to trust the Holy Spirit speaking to & with each other.
I see a road in front of me as a pastor in the US… a road that grows increasingly ’simple,’ with the invitation & place given to the HS to strip away all that is not Him. A willingness & a refusal to label someone as a disciple/not a disciple based upon the completion of a ‘course’ of study, but rather as a goal we seek to be as we endeavor to obey the words of Christ & to teach others to do the same as we share a Gospel Good News centered solely on Jesus as He reconstructs us, burning away the chaff, calling us back to a simplicity of life & devotion to Him that is applicable in myriad cultural & country & language settings, not dependent on technology, well-crafted theologies, & our gurus.
Brothers & sisters embracing & encouraging brothers & sisters.
I used to hate that term when it was thrown around in church… a lazy way to avoid using names & to hide behind religion.
This last week, I got to be with brothers from Ukraine, Russia, Palestine, Israel, the stans, & just about every country in Europe. To learn. To listen. To love.
One Ukrainian guy said, “Look around. Only with Jesus is THIS possible.”
100%.
A few thoughts from friend who greatly admires you & appreciates you & your journey & communications.
Louie

Deutschland 2023: Days #12,13 – Arminius, 1st generation Christians, & a whirlwind of a Sunday…

DAY 12 – Saturday – Arminius & dinner with Ewald & Kerstin

The forecast for most of our time in Germany has been rainy with a chance of rain, with occasional rainstorms, interrupted by rain. (You get the picture.) With that in mind, we were both pretty well prepared for the weather in advance of actually experiencing it. So, it’s been a pleasant surprise that it really hasn’t rained nearly as much as was promised (in true, pessimistic/realistic German fashion – “be prepared for the worst, & if it doesn’t happen… it still might, so don’t get too excited… I say this with tongue firmly in cheek). 

In reality, there’s been many days where it didn’t rain at all & we even saw the sun & (gasp!) some blue sky, which, we’ve been told, is very uncharacteristic for Germany in the late fall. Today, however, it rained, off & on. But mostly on. 

After a slow morning of coffee, breakfast, & rehearsing the message for Sunday, (yes, Louie, you are speaking this coming Sunday,) Pastors Ewald & Kerstin picked us up in the early afternoon for some sightseeing & exposure to German history, before we’d head back to their place for dinner. We drove with them about 30 miles out of the city to a little town called Detmoldthe location of an ancient (approx. 9 A.D.) battle that turned the tide of an ongoing war among the tribes of Germany & the Roman Empire. 

it was at Detmold that Arminius the Chernuskan, a tribal chieftain of one of the many warring tribes inhabiting Germany, convinced the other chieftains to quit fighting with each other & to unite their forces against Rome. This unity resulted in a resounding defeat of Rome which eventually led to the Roman withdrawal from what would become the nation of Germany, (which didn’t finally happen until about 1871, or 1989, for those that want to look at the German reunification as the real beginning of the nation now known as Deutschland.) 

A thick mist descended upon the hills of Detmold as we navigated the paths within national park toward the moment of Arminius, sometimes erroneously referred to as “Hermann the German” (possibly after the engineer/designer of the monument.) It was positively freezing by the time we arrived at the top of the hill where the monument stands, &, after snapping a couple quick pictures, we navigated our way back down the paths to their car, & made our way back into Bielefeld for dinner.


The Zelmers have pastored Christus für Alles (Christ for All) church in Bielefeld since 2000 (same time frame we’ve been at Hillside) & there are many, many similarities in Ewald & Kerstin’s story with mine & theBeans. We warmed up over an appetizer of  pumpkin soup & good talks, renewing our acquaintance, rehearsing our own stories, marveling at the different ways & means God has worked in our lives. These points of commonality serve as encouraging & heartwarming reminders of God’s goodness as well as illustrations of how much we can learn from each other & be encouraged by each other as we talk through & remember the goodness of God in our lives in each & every season of life. It is an incredibly faith building thing to hear how God has working in another couple who does what you do in a completely different context, with details that are almost identical to what He’s done in/through/around our lives, our family, our Hillside family. 

Dinner was baked chicken wings (! – as if we needed more proof of Jesus’ love & favor) & potato croquets, accompanied by a couple hours of talks about the changes in their assignment, & what that means for their church & Foursquare Deutschland. Starting in May 2024, Ewald will become the full-time Missions director for the movement, & will be helping to orchestrate ongoing missions, pastoral training & encouragement into the ‘stans, Mongolia, & other “1st generation Christian” peoples. What are those, you may ask? 1st generation Christian peoples are those in nations with no history of Christianity… meaning, these believers are thought to be the first Christians in the history of their people group. THINK about that for a second: it’s like the Book of Acts in real life, with Ewald & his teams coming alongside new believers, or even the ‘old heads of Christianity” in the nations, people with 20-30 years of Christian history under their belts. THEY are the apostle Paul, the foundation for what God is doing in Central Asia, as He advances His kingdom into places that had been, up to this point, untouched by the Gospel Good News. 

Ewald more than once mentioned that he sees a ‘parenting’ spirit on theBean & I, something of a divinely given gift that he sees would be an incredible blessing to these 1st generation believers in the ‘stans & beyond; he also sees a huge need for this ‘Christ-like fathering & mothering’ of believers in Germany, of 21st century Barnabas, sons/daughters of encouragement to come alongside them on a regular basis. Both of us can see how God is opening doors for us to regularly return to Germany on “encouragement excursions” as well as the initiation of teaching, mentoring, coaching, & encouragement forays into the ‘stans & Mongolia potentially in well, all while pastoring Hillside. It’s definitely something that theBean & I are going to be praying about in this next season of life. We KNOW we are to remain at Hillside, & we are also feeling increasingly drawn toward the doors that are open to us in Germany & beyond.


We had a couple hours to ourselves at Anna Marie’s, so we re-packed & revamped our suitcases, prepping for our travel the next day. Headed to bed early-ish, so we’d be bright-eyed & bushy tailed for church & travels the next day.


Day 13 – Sunday – Church in Bielefeld & travel to Berlin

After a quick breakfast, we walked the 200 meters to the church & participated in the pre-service prayer; it took place in English, German, Russian, & another language I couldn’t identify. We got our marching orders for the day, & I met with the technical team to get my headset mic ready, as well as our translator microbes so we could understand the German parts of the service. 

Most of the worship time I spent praying & mentally rehearsing the message, all while thinking through the process of giving a message that is being translated into another language (in this case another 2 or 3 languages. When I spoke, Anna Marie translated it to German, which then was translated into Russian & Arabic by the translating team in the back of the church using some high-tech equipment right out of Star Trek TOS. Super cool. 

To me, the key to giving a message that will be translated is to speak in complete thoughts (not necessarily sentences) & to avoid flashy vocabulary that English seems to employ for fun & German seems to eschew. I don’t know how many flowery adjectives I’ve used (like ‘Awesome, cool, incredible, etc) that turned into “gut” (good) with the German translation.


I spoke from Acts 2:42-47 on being TOGETHER… & how God calls us to grow to full maturity as measured in Christ, so that He can & will work in/through us by the power of the Holy Spirit. You can listen to the message HERE if you’re so inclined. Thought it was well received, & I had many encouraging translated conversations afterwards over coffee.


After church, we had time for lunch at an American/Mexican chain called “Peppers – Home of the Best Ribs In Town.” And of course, I ordered the Ribs & Wings plate… while they weren’t as good as Pete’s Meat BBQ I am sure they are the best ribs in Bielefeld. Too quickly we had to head to the train station to make our way towards Berlin. 

And the chaos commenced.


First, we had plenty of time to make our 1st train… except it was no longer going to Minden (which evidently isn’t just a town in Northern Nevada, but also here in Germany) so Anna Marie pulled us off the train we were sitting in & helped us to navigate to a bus that would backtrack to a train stop which would allow us to use our already purchased tickets & take the 3 hours train ride to Berlin. It could be a perfect plan… if we made it to the station. 

We were hauling our suitcases & a carryon, plus a back-pack each. Though not big by American standard, they are WHALE sized according to German standards. Wish you could see the faces & the disdain we experienced over & over as we lugged those bad-boys over the river & through the woods to try to find & board Bus route 61. 

We made it. But…

…We were seated backwards facing on the bus, at the flexible junction point in the bus which allows it to swivel & flex (if you know, you know) while trying to hold onto our luggage for dear life. We had an idea where we were to get off the bus… & there was a lot of praying involved, both for our navigation & for us to hold down our lunches as our driver wheeled the bus Formula One-style through the countryside, headed for a place called “Bünde.”

Made it to Bünde, & frantically looked for the train station. Small town, so the station (2 tracks only, vs. the at least 14 in Bielefeld) kinda blended in with the other buildings. So we followed the only other people with luggage. And found the station. Almost ran to the appropriate track, hoping we’d be there in time to beat the train headed to Berlin, the train we KNEW would be operating with clock-like precision on a super tight, typical German schedule. Except… it was almost an hour late, so we had plenty of time to hurry up & wait. Until…

…the train arrived & we had 2 minutes to board in the appropriate car (#8)… unfortunately, the train pulled up so far we could only make it to car #6 before we sensed it was about to take off. So we threw our bags (50 pounders BTW) into the train car & determined to navigate the remaining 2 cars to car #8 through the aisles of a moving & sold-out couple of train cars. For all the introverts out there: this is THE WORST. Not speaking the language well, we pulled & pushed 2 monster, behemoth-according-to-German standards suitcases, plus everything else we had, through the too-narrow aisles, while attempting to avoid passengers walking the aisles heading to their cars… whapping people in the head with my backpack EVERY time I turned, saying “Es tut mir lied” (I’m sorry) every 2 seconds & “Entschuldigung” (Excuse me) every other second. 

Absolutely mortifying. Physically grueling. Relationally scarring. I feel we may have set back American/German relations decades with our journey of about 200 feet (100 feet per car). By the time we made it to car #8, I wasn’t even looking at people anymore. I was on a mission, just getting the bags to the baggage area (at the back of each car, by the exit) & hoping to NEVER EVER see any of these people ever again. 

Collapsed in our seats, #32 & #38 (which, in true German fashion are of course right next to each other) for some reason. Endured the next couple of hours until the Berlin Hbf (main train station) & navigated outside to (eventually) catch an Uber to the flat where we’re staying, very near our dear Alex & Linda’s flat (next building over, about 1 minute walk away.) 

By this time it was about 10 pm. & we had just a moment to greet our friends (thank you for the care package – it became our dinner) & get settled in the private room within the flat (with a private bathroom to boot)  that we’re renting for the next couple of days from a Vietnamese woman & her German husband, a couple young professionals with a couple of businesses & startups they’re working on. 

There is a monster TV in the room that I was able to connect to & stream some Prime Video from my collection at home… so we watched an episode of NCIS: LA (yay a touch of home) & crashed into dreamland. 

Thank you Jesus for Your hand of protection, for favor, provision, & providence, as well as the proverbial Traveling Mercies. And to Anna Marie for both being an incredible hostess for our time in Bielefeld, but also rescuing us from the right (now wrong) train & getting us headed to this, our last leg of our German journey: Berlin.


Deutschland 2023 #10 – Lumpia for Lunch & a Worship Night at CFA…

It was a slooow paced Friday morning, which was especially nice after the cold, windy, & intense visit with Street Church last night. TheBean was still trying to shake the cold from her toes over our late breakfast/coffee routine this morning… which probably led to drinking waaay too much coffee… which led to the jitters later for her. 

There is a pastoral transition happening at CFA; the founding pastor, Ewald Zelmer, is transitioning to lead missions to the ‘stans on behalf of Germany, for pastoral training, opening new territories to the Gospel, & maintaining new/long established relationships. He truly is an apostolic leader – a ‘sent one’ that establishes, builds, maintains, & ‘exports’ the Gospel in new locations within nations, people groups, cultures, & language-groups. He is so filled with joy & is also such a fierce person in prayer (in the best sense of the word.) He & his wife Kerstin have pastored CFA as long as we’ve been at Hillside, beginning in the same year (2000).

The new pastor couple at CFA is Toby & Ginny Huyssen – he’s from the US by way of the Philippines by way of Germany (his mom, Gisele, pastors in Frickenhausen – yes, that’s a real place.) Ginny is a Filipina as well & they are in their late 30’s, very charismatic & full of joy, & they love to worship & to lead people into worship. Anna Marie took us to their place & we spent a little time connecting at the lunch table while the food finished, while listening to their kids Zach 11 & Erica 9, entertain us with the happenings of their lives & Zach’s regular interjection of his best imitation of “Murica.” 

Lunch was lumpia, vegetables, fried tofu, & some incredible, ginger-based sauces to season the food with & dip the lumpia into. So good. The table was full of talk about life, family, origin stories, pastoral life & transitions, & navigating God’s call on our lives in changing & varied contexts. Toby is a very different pastor/leader than Ewald, but I have a sense he is going to do very well at leading the church in their next phase of life together. CFA is a church of & to the nations, with approximately 15+ nations making up the people of the congregation. They are truly learning to BE the united church around Jesus, not national identity, culture of origin, personal preferences, &/or language.

Tonight is a Worship Night Toby & Ginny are leading at CFA, so we departed & made our way back to Anna Marie’s flat to get some rest. We were out shortly after our heads hit the pillow & both took a good 45-60 minute nap in advance of the evening happenings.


We made our way to CFA (about 200 meters away down the street) & theBean found the cafeteria, where the worship team was eating a preservice meal of lasagna, which she was overjoyed to jump in on; it’s a favorite. Talked with some friends (new & old) at the table, then went upstairs to the sanctuary as the worship night began.

The focus for the night was worship with times of prayer for the youth of the church, city, & Germany (from what I could tell.) Toby & Ginny led a team of 8 or so excellent musicians & it was obvious from the beginning that this is an area of great skill, gifting, & calling for them. About half the songs were in English & 90% were recognizable, even the German translation songs, so it was simple to jump in & worship along with those in attendance. It was a glimpse of heaven, with a selection of people from many tribes, tongues, & nations gathered together singing, literally, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lamb” or some variation of that in their mother tongues. 

Worship, prayer, & celebration lasted from about 7:30 pm – 9:30 pm & people hung out & talked until 10. We did our best to connect over conversations & I got to talk in English with two young guys, about 25, from Pakistan & Syria. They learned their English from Looney Tunes Cartoons, & had all sorts of questions about cartoons & other American language sources, like rap, music videos, IG, TikTok, & YouTube. 

They both shared, in their own way, their testimonies of Jesus’ ‘rescue’ of them, how He brought them from being “lost & broken” & how He was making them whole. Precious young men who were excited to flex their English vocabulary & at the same time talk about their Jesus.


By the time we made it to Anna Marie’s we were tired, but we took an hour or so to talk & debrief about the night, sharing our perspectives, & also hearing hers as someone who is firmly inside the church. Headed to bed at 11:15 & read a bit before crashing hard. 

What a great day with great food & an incredible night of worship. Thank you Jesus.


 

Deutschland 2023 – Day #9 – “Street Church: blessings without strings, & other musings on a cold Thursday…”

Woke up this morning to the threat (promise?) of cold, wind, & rain… pretty much what the weather forecast (promise?) has offered every day since we’ve been here & looks to offer until we board the plane home from Berlin next Thursday. Instead of worrying about what might be, we’ve made a practice of just “rolling with it,” & trusting God in for our day-to-day. 

As has been our pattern so far this week, we took the morning sloooow & had a couple rounds of french press coffee along with our Bible reading & sporadic talks/laughs. TheBean tackled the creation of a breakfast scramble, of sorts, with eggs, a couple types of wurst (sausage) & onions. So familiar & also so different at the same time.


Anna Marie (American missionary of 11+ years & our hostess) has been leading the CFA outreach called “Street Church” since her arrival in Bielefeld 10 years ago. How can I describe it? There’s a place near the Hauptbahnhof (main train station) where those bound by addiction to drugs, alcohol, & other vices common to humanity, gather to indulge, to forget, to have a point of ‘community’, albeit without the love, compassion, & care associated most often with what you think of when you hear that word.  People experiencing addiction & (pseudo/practical) homelessness are often subsidized & ‘cared for’ by the state, leading to a vicious & repeating downward spiral from which there is (often, for many,) no escape. 

It’s into this world that Street Church reaches & extends the love of Jesus in practical, tangible ways. There is a powerful declaration of the Gospel Good News every week, but not in a typical evangelistic message; instead, the Street Church team prepares salami & cheese (salami & käse) brötchen (bread rolls)… Not on the same rolls, but separately, as, evidently, Germans don’t mix their cheese & meat on sandwiches. They bring canisters of hot coffee, tea, & bouillon, & of course some sweets, & set up a table in the midst of the gathering of humanity, all experiencing varying degrees of the lowest & degrading situations you can imagine… many fallen to the level of selling themselves without regard to the consequences, only thinking of how to stop the craving & suffering brought on by addiction. Rinse, lather, repeat. You can almost touch the hopelessness.

And Street Church sets up a table, open for business, in the middle of this. The volunteer staff man the table & cheerfully offer food & drink with a smile, an encouraging word, & more than a touch of human dignity, worth, & blessings. It’s easy to see that the majority of these people fly under the radar of normal human interactions, tolerated at best, despised at worst by those busily passing by/through/around the swelling mass of humanity. The Street Church staff take the time for conversations, for truly human & divine interactions, treating each person they interact with with an incredible amount of dignity & worth, quietly offering love, acceptance, & forgiveness with a love reminiscent of a mother caring for the wayward & motherless friends of her own children. Truly a joy to behold. 

Other members of the team spread out into the crowd & pick up conversations where they are wanted or available. Some days they break up (redirect) conflicts & outright fights; they don’t focus on trying to get people to pray the “sinner’s prayer” but are quick to offer a listening ear, a heartfelt petition to Jesus, & an encouragement to those who want to hear to begin (continue?) to increasingly put their trust & (feeble) hopes in Jesus, looking to obey Him in the middle of the perpetual storms of life they’re living through. 

Sometimes they lead a few songs of worship, incorporating guitar, saxophone, & a haunting, soothing, hug-of-the-Savior sounding violin… all without amplification or microphones, a joyful noise amidst the cacophony of human suffering, conflict, & pain. We didn’t play tonight until the very end, not wanting to compete with the boom box held by a couple of the guys as they listened to a selection of German punk, 80’s German rock, & some Bryan Adams (Summer of 69!)  You might wonder WHY one wouldn’t do worship if/when there is a boombox playing… I’d say it has to do with respect. We are in their ‘house’ & their place, & it felt wrong to step into this Holy Ground, this place where Heaven meets some of the worst of earth, where the Jesus-question, “What can I do for you?” rings loudly in the actions of the Street Church team, & to insist that WE get to do OUR thing. There are no strings attached to what Street Church does – all of it is an offering to Jesus, to be experienced & hopefully embrace by the ‘least of these,’ who, hopefully, if only for a moment, are reminded that they are worthy of love, care, & compassion, & that the God of the Universe has more for them than cycles of suffering & destruction.

So we served. I felt mostly worthless, as my German consists of ordering food, & (mostly) understanding & singing worship songs. TheBean & I prayed, in English & the Spirit, & helped serve the coffee, tea, & bouillon, hoping we got the number of sugar cubes right for the coffee & tea. The clients love their sugar… it takes the edge off the cravings for their drugs of choice… so 6-8 cubes for a 8 ounce coffee wasn’t unusual.


An anti-war protest of about 300 people gathered at the Hauptbahnhof just about the time we were packing up & heading out… the boom box gang left, & I’d already put the guitar away in the van as the cold wind & rain that had been held back all day began to threaten that it was coming, & soon. A young woman, H, (hard to tell ages. She could have been 25, she could have been 40) took the opportunity of the silence to ask Anna Marie if we would PLEASE play at least one song with her. H produced a small djembe-style drum & I grabbed the guitar from the back of the van & prayed silently that my fingers would be able to A) move coherently & B) remember the chords to some songs.

As I began to strum the opening chords to “Open the Eyes of My Heart”, Anna Marie pulled out her saxophone, & H put her hand on the guitar while I strummed in order to feel the rhythm & the beat of the song. I started to sing, the saxophone began to sing, & the drum slowly emerged, its rhythm skillfully moving in & out of the melody, playing a harmony to what I was playing. H had skills… a distinct & poignant reminder that, though caught in addiction & suffering, there is a gifted, valuable, & tender woman here, longing to play with others, to belong, to be a part of something. One song turned into two, as I willed my fingers to move, my strumming hand to somehow hold the pick. I strummed & sang, “Jesus I Worship You” by an old friend in the NW. We declared the Lordship of Christ over ourselves, over this people, over this place. Simply connecting with Jesus & with each other. My fingers fumbled to a close & we once again packed our instruments, leaving too soon for H, but leaving none the less. I gave her “knuckles” in a gesture of what I hoped was honor & thanks for her playing with me, with us. She gave me a smile in return, communicating that she understood, even as the sadness returned to her eyes & countenance. I could hear her continuing to play the drum as we loaded up the van & waited for the protest to pass us by.


We did a little post-Church debrief, cleaned up the supplies, & said goodbye to the rest of the staff, people we (most likely) won’t see again this side of Heaven. When we do see each other again, it will be a joyful reunion, not bound by language challenges.

Came back to the flat & ate some wurst & a peppers/onions mix theBean had made earlier in the day. After some talks, we said goodnight & headed towards bed. The wind & rain began to howl & to fall in earnest. We thanked God we’d avoided that on the street tonight, while also thinking of those who have no place to retreat to, no respite. 

Jesus is close to the broken-hearted. And oh, how we need Him.

Deutschland 2023 – Day 2… “Time with family…”

Sleep. It’s what we needed after a “i’m barely able to keep my eyes open but I’m pushing through it” travel day. Ended up crashing at about 8:30 p.m. according to my never-too-happy-with-my-sleep score Garmin watch.  And still, it tells me we got 11 hours (!) , albeit with a middle of the night “who/where/what am I doing?” moment followed by a couple hours of both of us trying to convince ourselves & each other that “Yes, we were indeed Ready, Willing, & not quite Able to return to the Land of Slumber.” But eventually we both dozed off again & slept well until about 9 a.m. 

Woke up to the smell of coffee & a spinach, bacon, onion, & shrooms frittata graciously prepared by the gifted Eddy & Laura. (In their 1st year of marriage, Laura made 365 different dinner meals for Eddy. For reals. She cooks like that & does mathematics {M.I.T.} too, ladies & gentlemen. But I digress…)

All the ‘kids’ (Taylor, Elliott, Max, & Kira) were either at school or in their space doing school online, so we settled down to Psalm 90, a prayer of thanksgiving, & to a couple hours of talks, interspersed with coffee & water refills & lots of laughter. 

We talked about family & the changes that come over time. About seasons of life & church, the  Working Genius assessment & how it can help within the context of life, relationships, church & work; God’s continued process of growth & healing in our lives; vulnerability, friendship, partnership, marriage, etc. Could have gone on for days.


The ‘boys’ come home from/finished up with school. I say ‘boys’ but they’re  20 & 18… young men.. both with a killer sense of humor, & definite/obvious gifts & applied intelligence. Taylor & Elliot added all sorts of joy & insight & perspectives to our conversations. 

In addition to pastoring a church Eddy is the VP at a worldwide company that does digital platforms for businesses, so he had to tackle some work meetings. My theBean & I started the process of getting ready, packing up & preparing for today’s travel by train to Baden-Baden late this afternoon to see our Julia.


The 90 minute train trip to Baden-Baden was uneventful & Julia met us right on the train exit. It’s been 7 years since we’ve seen her in person (we text & send Marco Polo’s to each other on the regular) & it was so good to see her! She swept us (& our luggage) into her car & transported us the 20 minutes or so to the house of her sister Linda & her incredible brother in law, Heiko. We first met them back in 2008 when they escorted teenage Julia to the US. For Hillsiders – imagine Cole had a German cousin who loved to cook & help as much as he does, (church, home, & Royal Rangers,) & add in a bevy of ATV’s, & you get a glimpse of this man.  

Also joining us @ the Casa de Tilgner (Heiko & Linda’s last name) were Julia & LInda’s parents, Klaus & Pia. Such gracious people who adopted us into their tribe when Julia originally came to stay with us. What a joy to be brought to the table of a family to celebrate life, eat great food (tonight it was round after round of different types of Flammkuchen – savory, veggie, & sweet) & tell stories, laugh til it hurt, & catch up on what God is doing & what is happening in their lives.

The time today (& the times over the last couple of days with the Dueck family) really make Acts 2:42 come to life… the powerful connection with God & each other that happens around shared meals, + shared time, space, & experiences. It requires that we give of ourselves, that we stretch into sharing a type of  ‘divine hospitality’ that reaches beyond the comfortable & invites the Holy Spirit to the table in a manner that develops, establishes, & maintains kingdom of God family connections. This is the way.

Around 11 pm, Julia drove us to her flat – so cute. After a quick tour, we headed to bed & ended up crashing pretty good shortly after midnight. Woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee (Julia has grown a lot & even incorporates coffee into her daily routine. If you know, you know.) I decided to finish this post (yesterday’s/Day 2’s) post & then dive into the day of fun, relaxation, & good talks. 

Thank you for your prayers – we are seeing the goodness of God & divine appointments set up for us on the daily. 

The pictures are Julia, theBean & Pia; theBean, Julia, Pia, Klaus, me, Heiko, & Linda; Klaus & me

Fishing TOGETHER & other musings…

This post isn’t about actual fishing, or more pointedly, about Louie going fishing. I can only imagine people that know me thinking, ‘Fishing? Louie? What?’ 

It’s not that I don’t know HOW to fish; I fished quite a bit with my family in my early years… it’s just that I really don’t ENJOY the fishing, partially since I don’t enjoy eating the fish. At all. But I digress. 

This past weekend theBean & I were in Chico with dear friends at LIFE Church Chico & we spent a lot of time in conversations about the concept of being TOGETHER (aka in one accord, of one mind, one passion, one heart & one soul…) It’s a reality that has strongly impacted me as I’ve read (& taught) through the first 5 chapters of the Book of Acts.  Specifically, there are several situations in those chapters where the disciples of Christ are gathered TOGETHER & it is much more than sharing a physical proximity to each other. It’s a devotion to Christ that shows up in the willingness to:

  • be being transformed & to humbly submit themselves to the will of God in Christ Jesus for the cause of Christ.
  • embrace God’s definition of the Kingdom of God, partnering with brothers & sisters of every tribe, tongue, & nation, for the cause of Christ.
  • NOT insist on one’s own ways, preferences, & needs above those of others for the cause of Christ.
  • compromise with others & work together WITH others for the cause of Christ.
  • give & live sacrificially with their time, energy, & resources for the cause of Christ.
  • look beyond historic & deeply held people-separators, things like culture, customs, prejudices, racism, sexism, & bad blood for the cause of Christ.
  • relentlessly forgive, extend grace, look for & think the best of others for the cause of Christ.

TOGETHER is a powerful thing, especially when it is for the cause of Christ.


So where does the fishing come in? Glad you asked…

During one of our times together, our friend Chris, talking more in-depth about TOGETHER, shared a picture that he had… in Matthew 4 & Mark 1, Jesus calls the brothers Peter & Andrew, James & John, to leave the life they know (as fishermen) to come follow Him, wherever He may go, with the promise that if they do, Jesus will make them Fishers of Men. I got it. 

What I immediately pictured when he said “fishermen” was dudes fishing solo, with poles & gear. One pole/line/hook in the water as the dude explores the fishing hole looking to catch fish. It’s the most common picture in my head of what I think of when I think “fishing.” It’s a solo pursuit… esp. in the context I’ve participated.

But Chris kept talking. The context for the disciples (Near-Eastern, 1st century) fishing was with nets. Nets requiring a team of people working TOGETHER to bring in a catch. We see a couple examples of this TOGETHER partnership happening when Peter experiences a miraculous catch of fish that threatens to split his nets & overturn his boat because there were SO MANY fish (Luke 5:1-11.) And Peter’s first response? To call out to his fishing partners to come work TOGETHER to bring in the catch. 

Because that kind of fishing requires teamwork. Partnership. Pulling the nets in a coordinated fashion, TOGETHER, to bring the catch in.

Fishing TOGETHER.


So, over the last week, I’ve not been able to get that fishing TOGETHER image/concept out of my head. I think its because (or at least I feel) I’ve known that 1st century, Jesus-style fishing was a TOGETHER activity, but whenever I worked it out in my head, the TOGETHER part never translated to my own context. 

And it serves as a powerful reminder to me that the call & cause of Christ  are not individual pursuits; they are TOGETHER pursuits. Reminders of our need for a community to be a part of; a people to partner with/come alongside; a local context where we get to ‘work out our salvation’ in the context of relationships centered on Christ & committed to the mutual benefit & encouragement of our fellow believers.

I know TOGETHER is often messy. Imperfectly done. Challenging. Costly. Even risky. 

But it’s worth it. 

Starting Over…

I’m starting over. That doesn’t mean I’m going to go back to ‘the beginning,‘ returning to school, or that I’m going someplace else. It means I’m choosing today to start (begin again) doing the things that I want to do; one of those “starting over” activities is writing. And I’m starting with blogging here.

Over the last few years, I haven’t done much writing. It’s been something that’s been on a back burner in my priorities of things to do… & somewhere along the line that burner got turned off. In retrospect, I think most of my ‘writing’ energy has been used for doing what started out as “stay in touch with our church community during the pandemic videos,” (HERE) & has morphed into doing a couple of short (usually > 3 minutes) weekly teaching-type videos for our church’s FB & IG, & also an occasional reel on my own IG.


And then at our denomination’s annual pastor’s conventions, one of the speakers (Joe Wittwer) spoke from John 3  (Jesus & Nicodemus) on the topic of repentance/beginning again/starting over. Immediately, WRITING came to mind as something I’d love to ‘start over’ with… its been something I love to do & at the same time, the longer I’ve not written or blogged, the harder its gotten to resume. As though to do so would require a complete life re-orientation where I’d be moving forward carrying the weight of so many days/weeks/months/years of NOT writing that somehow it seemed (almost) insurmountable. 

But what Joe talked about DIDN’T have that baggage. I could just start over. Tomorrow. Or today. And begin (re-begin) writing, because I WANT to write. And therefore, I can. Will. Am. Writing. My past writing-less-ness (made that one up) doesn’t dictate my future of writing. 

And this ‘start over’ thing doesn’t just apply to writing or to me… you can do it too. Take a look at your life: WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? START OVER DOING/NOT DOING? Take a look at you, holistically: what would you change…

  • PHYSICALLY – how are you stewarding your physical body & caring for yourself?
  • EMOTIONALLY – what are you doing to replenish your soul? to have fun? to live congruently & in touch with your emotions?
  • SOCIALLY – who are your friends? the real ones, not just the ones on the social media platforms… who do you call/connect with to celebrate something great or to mourn something terrible?
  • MENTAL – when was the last time you invested in your brain? intentionally tried to learn something new? Youtube can be a GREAT resource for discovery (not just a bottomless hole of wasted time,) & there are a ton of podcasts out there to pique your interests & stretch your brain… it doesn’t even have to be USEFUL or gainful information. Keep learning. 
  • PERSONAL – how are you growing your character? Are you known as a person of integrity? What can you do to invest in being the kind of person you (& others) can rely on?
  • SPIRITUAL – how/in what ways are you intentionally growing in your love for Jesus? I’m not trying to weigh you down with a list of ‘to-dos’ to somehow mark off a spiritual accomplishments list; I’m talking about taking time to connect with the One who not only created the universe, but put you together – body, soul, mind, spirit – on purpose. How will you feed your spiritual person & grow with Jesus?
  • SEXUAL – where do your sexual energy/thoughts/etc. go? If you’re single – how are you processing & acknowledging this vital (but not the most significant/powerful/important) part of who you are? If you’re married – how are you investing yourself & this area of your life in pursuing your spouse, body/soul/mind/spirit

I’m hoping there’s something in this that encourages you to start over. To start new. To pick something back up. To put something down. To not be stuck in inactivity or paralyzed with the weight of years of pressure/unfulfilled hopes & dreams.

My plan to write here a couple times a week. Maybe it’ll be current events. Commentary/thoughts from my Bible reading. Silly stories. Deep thoughts. Not sure yet. But I WILL be writing. 

Start over. Start today. 


Thanks to Pastor Joe Wittwer for the message from the Foursquare Connection in Anaheim on 5/30/2023. Greatly appreciate the nudge, Sir. 

Day 19 – Still no voice & other musings…

And now it’s December. Had to look at the calendar to double check… it is day 19 of this “sickness.” I say sickness in ” ” because, to quote James Brown, “I feel good!” But. I still do not have a voice. It’s like every other aspect of my body & health has bounced back to approaching normal levelsI except for the voice. Don’t get me wrong – it has improved a teensy bit… but it still sounds like I’ve been chain-smoking cigars with Arnold.


And so I’m still in the middle of this. Trying to use this longer-than-I’d-like process to embrace one of the many limitations that comes with being a human being. Limits aren’t something that are easily acknowledged, especially within the church which seems so fond of  {misquoting/misapplying} “I can do ALL THINGS through Him (Christ) who gives me strength”

For me – embracing the limits on my life right now = taking time to rest when I feel like it. Not pushing it with my voice. Being silent & quiet (not the easiest thing in the world, even for an introvert.) Giving thanks to God for the good I’m experiencing. For my overall health & my dear friends that are so encouraging, life-giving, & supportive, not just in this time of ‘weakness,’ but when life is grand.

And still… I’d like to be able to sing. Because I sing all the time, whether if its for private worship, practicing/learning songs, or just belting out my karaoke standards to serenade myBean, my grandkids, or my nieces (what 13 & 15 year old girls DON’T want their beloved uncle to sing 80s songs to them? I mean, c’mom man.)


Even with a bum voice last Sunday, I was able to do the speech/message for church. We’ve been working through 1 & 2 Peter for the last 3 months, which is something I envisioned doing while out on sabbatical this last Summer. In prep for the 1 & 2 Peter studies I must have read through both letters at least 3 times a week (maybe 35 times each?) & I’ve been so excited every week to tackle & explore this material within the context of our Hillside community. And yet…

This week we’ll be in 2Peter 2…  which, in my opinion, really has to be taken as a whole chapter, all at once. Which is a lot.

Somewhere in the reading & re-reading I missed the main thrust of that chapter is about the surety of God’s just judgment upon false teachers (those who misapply, misuse, & manipulate the Scriptures for their own gain/for the exploitation & entrapment of people) as well as God’s predictable goodness in ultimately saving/rescuing/preserving His people (those who live for Him/who are bothered by the actions of the bad guys.

As I’ve been sitting with the Scriptures & wrestling through an outline, I’ve been struck by the fact that it is very possible to curate (sift through, pull together, & carefully select certain materials) Scripture in such a way that a person attending church listening to 52 speeches a year never encounters a less-than encouraging, uplifting, “isn’t God sooooo good?” selection from the Bible. To me, 2Peter 2 — while ultimately aiming to illustrate God’s faithfulness & the fact that no one will get away with being a bad actor — is a hard passage of Scripture. It’s tough. It’s got judgment & harsh words throughout. And yet, its completely consistent & in-line with the character & nature of God as portrayed in the rest of the Scriptures. And ultimately, it is good news. Maybe not for the charlatans, the liars, the twisters & perverters of God’s teachings, those that mislead others – but it is good news & a faithful reminder of a truth found in Galatians 6:7,8 – Don’t be deceived: God WILL NOT be mocked. Whatever a person sows, they will reap.

It’s a reminder & testimony to me that we do matters. Esp. if we’re entrusted with leading, shaping, & teaching people in God’s Name.

Looking ahead to 2022, & a letter asking HOW to re-start going to church….

I love to write, & I love to share my thoughts (musings?) with others. And yet… for most of 2021 I didn’t blog. Instead, I put together at least 1 video post/week, along with my staff, on our church’s YouTube page (you can check it out HERE if you’re interested.)

In the last few weeks of each year, I like to take stock of my life & purpose to make changes to better fit my goals, values, etc… Not “New Year’s Resolutions” per se; rather, intentional, on-purpose life adjustments. Things to stop. Things to start. One thing I am aiming to do in 2022 is to write, to blog again. So here I go.


This week, a friend texted me a question & the answer would have been way to long for this guy to text back…. so I wrote him a letter (an email, really) with an answer that I hope will be helpful. I know he’s not the only one asking this question (I’ve heard it from many, many people over my 22 years pastoring. This isn’t the ONLY answer – every situation is a little different… & the answers I’m offering are  100% my opinion, though I hope they are rooted in not only my experience but also in scriptural principles.

First, the question:

“Do you have thoughts on helping people handle changing seasons & church relationships? I have three different friend groups that all started in (campus/college ministry group) that have all recently ran into hiccups or issues after COVID & all of them appear to be at “restart” phases of finding church or belonging.. They find it hard to be motivated to go to church because they don’t have any connected relationships. Any thoughts or ideas?”

The answer:

Dear friend:
Thanks for reaching out – I feel really strongly about this topic, partially because I’ve got so many old students & old friends who have lived this out… & many of them have still never reconnected with a church & haven’t been a  part of a community since their Campus ministry days.


One of the bummer things about campus groups is they are (largely) homogenous… people the same age, going through the same general things… & there are (usually) many significant, powerful happenings in their lives with Christ. (Think ‘mountaintop experiences.’)

Most churches will be different than that – especially if there is a mix of ages/life experiences (heterogeneous)…. real community, real fellowship takes work & commitment because you’re largely going to be connecting & building relationships based on a commitment to Jesus & being obedient to Him (vs. based on age, things in common, previous friendships, etc.) And sometimes it requires that YOU be the person that helps others to connect; that YOU be the one who reaches out, who helps, who encourages others.

So – what I’ve said (& I’d say to others asking the question) is something like this:
Think back to when you first started going to your campus ministry group – you had to risk, you had to extend yourself, you had to try (probably multiple times.) This is a similar process that you will need to embrace in order to motivate yourself to GO to church, to CONTINUE going to church, & to be APART of a local community for the long -term.
Being a participating member of a church community is really important & significant – here are some ideas for you to get started & get connected:
  • Ask a trusted Christian, church-going friend who is in a local church community – can I come to church with you for a bit to get my bearings? Go there & give it a month or two, minimum..
  • Do you have any connections at a local church? People you know already, friends attending somewhere?Go there & give it a month or two, minimum..
  • If not, are there any churches near you that are familiar (denomination, worship style, philosophy, values, etc) to you? Go there & give it a month or two, minimum..
  • If not, ask God for bravery, boldness, & direction & FIND a church in your city (near or far doesn’t matter, but nearer, aka less than 30 minutes away, is probably best. Then commit yourself to go & participate in the life of the church – attending church but also trying a small group; staying for fellowship opportunities; looking for others with their ‘connectors’ out.

No church is perfect; it is often messy & requires people to really commit to the process of church, having thick skins & perseverance, to be willing to repent & to extend grace to others. It will require giving of yourself, extending yourself, stepping into potentially lonely situations (at least initially). & then not quitting.

And if the church you try doesn’t end up being one you can connect with/in, try another… but keep going. Keep trying. Keep extending yourself. It is worth it.

I know many people who’ve made the ‘leap’ into church community & they love it; & I know many who have never made the jump out of campus ministry to church, & they are still living off the ‘great things God did when I was in college,’ even if it is 20 years later. And that makes me sad, because God isn’t done with you when you leave school

Hope there’s something in here that helps…

Blessings to you
Louie