A thought on conflict & other musings on a Friday…

This morning I was listening to one of the podcasts I try to catch weekly (The Ryen Russillo Podcast – its sports, entertainment, discussion on movies, & life advice.) Today’s episode featured a conversation with longtime NBA referee (& now Head of Referees) Monty McCutchen. Something McCutchen said about conflict really jumped out at me. Here’s my sum-up version (with apologies to Mr. McCutchen):

“I’ve been in this business for 30 years; I don’t try to avoid conflict, but rather to maximize the positive impact conflict can have on relationships. Think about it: if we’re both in the same field over a 30-year period of time, there will be countless opportunities where conflict can & will arise. It might be over a differing opinion over a call I make, it might be a personality clash, it could be anything. But  the fact that we BOTH are going to be interacting in each others lives for decades is enough reason to use conflict positively, as something that allows us to build & grow our relationship. Because our lives are about MORE than this conflict we’re having – if we both can keep that in mind, we can learn to embrace humility, recognize our own faults & challenges, & contend for lasting relationship. Because in the end, that’s what’s most important in life.”

I’ve been thinking about that statement all day… especially because in my experience, conflict is something that I don’t relish, let alone look forward to as a potential “growth opportunity.” (Honestly, most of the growth opportunities I seem to have encountered are as attractive as a novacaine-free root canal. But I digress…) This isn’t the first time I’ve encountered the “conflict leads to growth” idea, but it is the first time in a long time I’ve thought about it long enough to begin to grab ahold of & work on embracing it… again, not seeking conflict just to stir things up, but seeing conflict as an inevitability for people who have chosen to walk through life together. Maybe its in a workplace, family situation, or more pointedly for me & my life, in a church community.

Looking back, the greatest friends that I have in this life are people with which I’ve navigated significant conflict & come out the other side.

I’m going to be thinking on this some more…

In other news, I went to the doctor in January of this year for my annual checkup. As I just turned 50, I discovered that there are several recommended tests & procedures recommended for this man who is now of a certain age. Let’s just say there were lots of “discussions” about prostates, colons, & other fun & (exciting!) procedures that need to be undertaken as a part of the new “50 year old’s health & wellness journey.” I left the office that day not necessarily looking forward to what was in front of me.

Fast forward 6 months – I received an email with a reminder that I need to get a colonoscopy scheduled & performed as soon as possible. In the midst of the pandemic & other craziness of 2020, it had completely skipped my mind. Until yesterday. Oh joy.

I called & left a message & then received a return call a few short minutes later. The P.A. on the other end of the call started off the conversation saying, “So, I hear that you are wanting to schedule a colonoscopy…” Now, words MEAN things to me; I can’t say, “Yeah, I want to schedule this…” as – I HAVE NOT & DO NOT want to have this procedure, but my primary care doctor strongly recommended this for me. So I relayed this to the nice lady: “Want to schedule? No. Need to schedule at my Doc’s request? Yes.”

And she laughed.

Sweet iced tea is too sweet for me. But I love to  put a packet of Splenda in my Pure Leaf Unsweetened Black Tea. Go figure.

After an 18 month writing/blogging hiatus, I feel like I am beginning to get back in the swing of things. I missed this.

Once again…

…I’m a-messing with my template. I really liked my last one, but had a hard time with the attempted modifications I wanted to make to said template. Esp. difficult was the ‘commenting.’

Brint’s last comment pushed me to make the changes necessary.

So here I am, Huckleberry.

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something new…

While waiting for theBean to finish her 2nd Thursday shift, I decided to experiment a bit with the layout of theConundrum… & try to expand my knowledge of html.

It’s a work in progress, & there are several layout issues that I haven’t been able to solve. Yet. But what are days off for, anyway, if not for blogmod…

Day 1 – a travel saga…

Up at 4:40 for some coffee & to look at the sleeping family. Hmm. Peaceful. They look so cute when they’re asleep, too. Being away from family is the hardest part of this trip, & its never more difficult than the last night before leaving. The morning departure looms, the unknowns of the 13 day voyage & separation lurk. All we want to do is & be with each other & hang out in our cubby sitting on the couch with a glass of red at the end of the day… it is one of the sweetest things in life. Actually reminds me of when theBean & I were dating. Minus the red, of course, as theBean was only 17 at the time. And I said, “Whoooaaahhh!”

The ticket I’m flying on is a ‘free’ ticket, in that I used my airmiles to get the ticket – which means 3 legs to the trip – Reno to Denver to Chicago to Frankfurt. But with the price of airtravel (& considering how long it takes to walk to Germany,) I’ll take the inconvenience as a challenge, & enjoy free wifi in 2 airports, snarf a couple of Mickey D’s double-cheeseburgers (the breakfast of champions. And lunch. And dinner today,) & then sleep fitfully for 5 or more hours on the last flight – pray for scoey to sleep well, & to dream of what is right now unknown…

When I get home, Thanksgiving will be right around the corner. That means ribs are coming! Woohoo.

I spent the last 90 minutes walking – throughout the B concourse in the Denver airport, stopping only for nature’s call & a cup of Verona. Nice. I’m going to go walk some more, as sitting for 12 hours on planes is a great way to get your body cramped up.

I’ll post when I can – thanks for your prayers.


My template is on the move… away from the coffee theme… I liked the coffee cup… but its html was ragged, & left quite a bit to be desired. In searching, I thought this one was worth a test drive, & that the flames match the shirt I got from Earl W. Nash for my berf-day. Not that I think I’m all hard-core or anything like that.

Feeling a bit more introspective than usual – might be because its a day off, & that gives my brain the opportunity to bounce things around without being obscured by The Task at Hand.

Hmmm. And double sigh.

inspiration & the planning of a post…

I read a friend’s post about New Years Resolutions – esp. the part about wanting to stop living as a “people pleaser.”

It inspired a thought, which has led to the planning of a post on people pleasing – this is not that post. THAT post will be coming soon. But for now, a few questions to ponder, & answer if you’d like.

-What would you say a “people pleaser” does that makes them a “people pleaser?”
-What situations do you find yourself most tempted to fall into “people pleasing?”
-What person/persons would you say that you’re most tempted to try to “please”?
-Who do you think ends up paying the greatest cost or experiencing the biggest loss as a result of the decision(s) to “people please?”
-What has been personally helpful to you in stopping the cycle of “people pleasing?”
-What has been personally most difficult for you in attempting to stop?