Tag Archives: Family

catching-up on my musings on a Friday, & Happy Birthday Johnny!

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Interesting week. Got a call from a friend Sunday evening – someone who’s been living out of the area for a while, but that is still near & dear to my & my families hearts for a plethora of reasons. His younger brother, E-Lib (my name for him; his parents are truly kinder than THAT,) had been in a fight in Reno, & had been stabbed. My friend was coming to Reno to see his brother, & wanted to crash at the house.

Absolutely. My heart broke. I have 3 younger brothers. I know his brother.

Though we only had a couple of minutes for greetings when he arrived at our home, it was good to reconnect, even under the duress that such a situation brings with it. And the good news is that E-Lib should be okay, albeit with a lengthy recovery.

It was good to see you Kurt. And to meet your buddy Tyler too.

Left in the wee hours Monday for a 3 day meeting with our larger church family leadership in Glendale. In a nutshell, the group I met with has been charged with determining a process for & the selecting nominees for the presidency of our denomination. It was lively, though my sitting muscles are incredibly sore from parking on hotel ballroom chairs for way to long. Truly. By the end of Day 2, I needed a crane to lift me out of my chair because my poor bum hurt so bad. Not funny.

Ed Stetzer led a big portion of the ‘presidential profile creation.’ I love listening to him process out loud, & always come away challenged in my own thinking & assumptions. He’s a living example of “iron sharpens iron.” Thank you Ed.

Today marks what would have been my brother John Leavy Locke’s 37th birthday. Which means that this June will mark the 20th anniversary of his death, & his going to be with Jesus. Looking back, I can believe that its been 20 years… & at the exact same time, it seems like only yesterday. My memories of him seem like moving snapshots. Thinking of our hours of playing Batman & Robin in our backyard on Upson Lane. Playing wiffle-ball in the backyard & his constant quitting when he didn’t get his way. I’d try to tell him, ‘You forfeit. I win.” This caused confusion because he was 4 years old & must’ve thought it was an age thing I was referring to, because he’d always respond, “Nuh-uh! You 7-fit!”

Playing & wrestling with all 4 of us – Louie, Johnny, Joel, & Ben. They’d gang up on me, & I had to develop a strategy to deal with the waves of brothers’ attacks: charley horse to Ben’s leg. Charley to Joel. With them both incapacitated, I was left to take on Johnny. More often than not, he’d leave me with a bloody nose. Only person (besides theBean,) to give me one of those.

When we shared a room, we’d have late night talks about life, family, hopes, dreams, & sports. He was a terrific athlete in Football, baseball, & basketball. I was so proud to be able to watch his games & see the ease at which he played them. Amazed me.

And his gentleness & compassion. And tenacity. All of those came out full bore when the cancer was diagnosed. In how he interacted with others. Faced adversity. Grew & matured in his faith in Christ, the One who gives a hope in times of hopelessness & despair. I learned so much about what it means to be a Christ-follower from him, esp. because he didn’t shrink from difficulty or disappointment. Didn’t question why. Just kept going.

I miss him terribly.

When I look at my own kids, I see things every day that remind me of him. Pasty’s rosy cheeks after a work out, & his intense, self-motivated competitive drive which makes him invaluable on a team. IDoey’s intensity & combustability… Weezer’s sweetness. And her laugh. All 3 of them have his compassion. Truly. I’ve seen it. Like to see it more. :)

I’m looking forward to the day when we’ll be reunited. Hope its a while away, but it will be a good day when it happens.

Time flies. Today is also marks a great anniversary – the 5th anniversary of the day my brother Ben married Jessica. She is truly a gift, & I am so thankful for her & how she loves my youngest brother; you truly are a source of joy. And for the girls, EllieB & Zoe-Hawk. Many blessings to you 2 today.

Working with Pasty on the possibility of going to a nearby JC for school & football. He’s a workout beast, & is really pressing into preparation for this. I’m very proud of his determination, & KNOW he can do it.

Can’t wait to watch the Vikings-Saints game this week. Colts-Jets will be good too, I suppose, but the NFC game is the main one on my radar.

Think I’ll make some more coffee.

Musings on a Tuesday…

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The 2-week break from school that my kids are on has provided me with an opportunity to take a couple of half-days to spend with them doing some of our favorite things. Today we went to see Avatar in 3D. It reminded me of a few movies, especiallyDances With Wolves. Had popcorn. With lots of butter. Yum.

When we were standing in line for the popcorn, the person in front of us ordered popcorn & specified “Very light butter.” I was incredulous – Very Light Butter? Isn’t the very purpose of movie popcorn to soak it in so much Real Movie Popcorn Butter that every time a handful is taken, it requires a full napkin to address the mess left on your hand? So I asked for the butter on mine that they should have put on the other person’s popcorn.

Pasty is in Tennnessee… Cookeville to be precise. Visiting his girlfriend & her family. It was all he wanted for Christmas, so he’ll be there for the next few days… And that event marks the entrance to an interesting phase of life: the parenting of an adult.

Which reminds me: today at the movie theater, I was waiting for theWeez to come back from the little girls room. Out of the blue, a pretty young thing came up to me & put her arms around me. Whoa. It was theWeez. Here I was, waiting for my little girl, & here I am confronted by this beautiful almost woman. Goodness, time flies.

This evening, I met with 3 of our 4 church team leaders for the 1st time in a couple of weeks; normally we get together every week to communicate – to bounce ideas off of each other, talk about recent happenings, & plan for upcoming stuff. With Christmas & its festivities, we missed a couple, which I didn’t think would be a big deal. Turns out I was wrong – communication means the need for more communication, clarification, knowing & being known. I didn’t realize how much I had missed it, or how good it would be to catch up. I’m thankful for those guys.

Woke up this morning with the feel of sand & sun lingering from a vivid dream… only to find a cold, foggy, & snowy day awaiting me. I’ve never been a beach guy, & my perfect days have always revolved around the indoors. But man, I sure could go for some sand & sun about now. And a nap.

Complaining doesn’t help bad or uncomfortable situations. It just takes me deeper into a hole, & requires that I ignore the areas of life where God is actively, consistently, faithfully at work in & around me. And I’m not gonna waste the energy on it.

Booyah. I love that word. Booyah. It is a great transitional word that says Nothing & Everything at the same time.

there’s something in my eye…

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I’ve been crying a lot. A LOT. Almost at the proverbial “drop of a hat.” Watching my iDoey & Reed High School’s presentation of “White Christmas.” Drinking coffee & thinking of friends. Eating breakfast. (It was a really good egg & sausage burrito.) Playing with my niece Ellie G.

Not sure why this is happening, though I think that I’ve traced the beginning to being in Germany a couple weeks back… I remember feeling overwhelmed & overcome with thankfulness, sitting around the dinner table with Shawn, Matt, & a couple of Russian/Kazakh pastors, wrestling through a couple layers of a language barrier, sharing good food & drink, lots of laughs, & the commonality of relationship with Christ. This commonality makes the most daunting cultural, language, social barrier seem like a mere crack in the floor compared to knowing & being known by Jesus Christ, Lord & Savior. It causes the most cynical part of me, the part scarred & marred by religion, religious-ness, & religiousity to be able to truly speak the words “brother” & “sister…” to the people at my table. And mean it. These words, too seemingly steeped in christian-ese to be able to be spoken except in sarcastic jest, rolled off of my lips as I embraced & was embraced by these precious men & women.

I remember being struck at how truly blessed I am. With theBean. My Pasty. iDoey. theWeez. My family. Friends – real friends.. God’s faithful provision. A church family. A job. Countless resources.

Now it seems I am seeing beauty in things & people that before I may not even have taken notice of a month ago. And its everywhere. And it is TRULY a wonderful life.

Ellie came into my office & saw me crying today – she’s 2, an age where crying only means sad. She ran out into the main office area declaring, “Tay-tay’s CRYing! Tay-tay’s CRYing!” Her mom said, “Ellie! Tay-tay needs a hug!” The precious little one came running back in & lifted up her arms: “Tay-tay! Up!”

I swooped her into my arms & she squeezed me around the neck for what seemed like an hour. Then, she patted me on the back gently, & lovingly said, “It’s ok Tay-tay.” She grabbed my face, looked into my eyes, & yelled, “Tay-tay! DOWN!”

I saw the sun in Frankfurt, even though it was only for a moment…

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For some reason I woke up early; really early today – 4 a.m. Maybe it was to compensate for the sleeping in until 11:30 the day before, but for some reason I was up & ready to go. So I read. Looked at the dark, pre-dawn sky. Counted sheep. (not actual sheep… more the pretend kind in an attempt to lull my brain into thinking it could go to sleep.) No luck.

Thought about the events of the last few days. Time with Johannes & Anja. Anja’s famous Thai Chicken. Bulgarian Wine. “Coincidental” answers to prayers unlooked for. Hard conversations wrought with pain, challenge, & hope for a future. Continue reading →

the 1st day of school, & other monday morning musings…

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Today is the first day of school for all 3 kids – Pasty is starting his senior year. IDoey is a freshman. TheWeez is off to 7th grade & Middle-School. Preparation for the day included everybody in bed, willingly & of their own accord, by 10 p.m. Lunches packed. Clothes washed, pressed & laid out. 3 mostly self-sufficient humans getting themselves together… nice.

And then this a.m., everyone up no later than 6. No real rushing – just the familiar sounds of Pasty downstairs with Mike & Mike, Weezer’s hair dryer, & IDoey’s humming. The inexplicable & matchingly liberal application of Axe Body Spray or Ralph...

The funny part is that we all ended up at the counter in the kitchen… with theBean, (starting her week off with a Day Off of Work,) willingly making breakfast ala “short-order-made-to-order..” What a site to see.

Then I realized that it was time for the kids to head out… & I flashed back across the 13 years of First Day of School that we’ve done.

Pasty’s first day of pre-K at Seeliger with his little siblings jealous of his chance to get out of the house & go to PLAY.

Our first day of school upon our move to Sparks – mid-year of all times… Pasty was a good sport through a tough situation.

IDoey’s first day of Kindergarten with Mrs. Martin.

The day that all 3 kids finally went to school together.

Pasty’s move to Jr High, then High School. Then IDoey’s.

And now Weez is out of elementary & into the world of 12 going on 25…

I wanted to get them to pose for a picture, but I couldn’t find the words. They were stuck in my throat behind a big lump. My eyes were swimming & I found that all I could really do was sit & look at them in their morning routine.

Coffee helped compose me, & I finally eeked the words out – & asked the 3 kids to pose by the stairs. Without a word of complaint, they did, & went into the familiar routine of goofy silliness that characterizes & lets steam off of such moments. Let me take several pictures even.

And then off.

Sigh.

Thursday evening blogging while I’m waiting for my next cab-fare…

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I’ve been counting down for the last 12 weeks… & I’m down to double digits. Monday, I’m off to the Center for Spiritual Renewal in Christiansburg, VA – where theBean & I went last year. This year, I’m flying solo for a 7 day rest, renewal, counseling, & solitude trip. Can’t wait. I’m planning on reading, going to a couple of baseball games (Salem Red Sox), & hanging out on the fringes of the Virginia Tech (VT) campus – there are tons of good eateries & loitering spots that I plan to occupy. Hmmm. Can’t wait.

Stop & go driving in the heat is most likely my least favorite thing these days… seems like with the schedules that we’re keeping, I am trying to enjoy it & make the most of my transit time. To Golden Eagle. Church. To Reed High. Home. Repeat.

So I try to make it so that I’ve always got a Speech on mp3 to listen to – I’ve taken to loading my phone to make my solo time in the car “listening time.” It’s good… but I’ll take highway driving hands down.

Both boys are in ‘double-days’ for football right now – meaning – they have 2 practices a day for the next 10 days – helmets & shorts until Monday, then lots of hitting in full pads to get ready for Week 1 of the 2009 season. Go Pasty. Go IDoey…

Just got a new paperback copy of Lord of the Rings for my trip – I hope it smells good. I love the smell of a good book. Isn’t that viert?

I love the coolness of the evenings lately – very nice. Now THIS is the Nevada I know.

TheBean has had a turn or 3 with “positional vertigo.” Thanks to Christine the Gifted Ear Doctor & the Mighty Hand & Outstretched Arm of the LORD, she is up & about, walking in straight lines again.

I thought Ellie was small, then I saw Ellie’s cousin, my nephew Trevor… He is small. Then I saw Baby Zoe – now SHE is really small. And she makes the same ‘Weezy” noises that gave my Weezer her nickname. I wonder if there’s something in the girly DNA in the fam…

New shoes. Nike Sparq (with an Q!) Which of course makes them eXXXXXXtra cool. And boy can I run fast & jump higher than ever.

Sometimes all a man needs is a tortilla filled with cheese. After its been heated in a pan, of course.

Its funny to me that incredibly terrible movies keep coming out every week, & people keep lining up to go see them, as though somehow its required to do so. Goodness. Not even free popcorn with butter all ov-ah could get me to the theatre… Oh, for a Hitchock classic. Like “Notorious.”

School starts up again for us in just a couple of weeks – & all 3 of the kiddos will be out of the house, M-F, by 7 a.m. That’s not late, no, no, it’s earl-ay, earl-ay…

And on that note, what ever happened to the Spin Doctors?

I’m interested to see how the whole “Michael Vick is back in the NFL” will be playing out in Blacksburg & the VT campus…

More & more I find myself singing little songs that I have made up, somewhere, sometime, for some reason. And I find myself… amused. And the best part is that the iPhone now has a Voice Recorder just in case I generate a gem that I can send to Jack’s Big Music Show or to the Wiggles (if the Wiggles are still around. Must check into that…)

Over/under for the number of fantasy football teams I will have this fall = 10. Currently, I’m taking the “under.”

cleaning the freezer & other musings on a Monday…

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I’m not pregnant, but I’m nesting. Went through the pantry with theBean. Swept it. Through away stuff with shelf life that ended in 2007. Truly.

Went through the refrigerator. Ditto. Found a milk carton, (MILK!) that expired in December 2008. Ouch. Never even saw it. Found some food that Julia made. (Yes the Julia that went back to Deutschland in February…) Nice. (NOTE: This doesn’t reflect on anyone’s personal cleaning habits… it’s just a blog, man.)

Today, I decided to tackle the freezer, since theBean was headed for Shift #2 on the day. Went through the freeze-dried foods, the unwrapped icy-treats, & other stuff that one finds in the freezer. Then, I came across some Drumsticks. You know, that incredible tasty ice-cream treat that sits on a sugar cone, covered with quik-dry chocolate & peanuts?

Well, what I found were the ‘heads’ of the drumsticks. Turns out, the cones had all be eaten, & some kind soul had placed the drumstick heads back into the freezer for anyone that might want the leftovers.

So I did what anyone would do. I ate the chocolate off the ice-cream & put them back in the freezer. Silly us. :)

Went to the Hand Dr. for I-Doey. Got the stitches out. Looks good – like he’ll be able to start in with his summer weights & football stuff tomorrow – just no contact drills for the next 3 weeks, at which time more X-Rays will be taken to check on the progress of young I-Doey’s finger.

We’re hoping, praying & believing for a complete recovery, without any of the finger-hypersensitivity that the Dr. said might be a possibility. Here’s to healing. Woohoo!

According to my 2 oldest children, I may be showing signs of getting smarter. Or at least being smarter than they thought I was. I will update you on any more progress I make.

I’m ecstatic – the book re-release that I’ve been waiting for is finally here… Jerry Cook’s classic, Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness: Being Christian in a Non-Christian World came out last week. This has been one of the books that has most formed my outlook on life, the Church, & my view of God.

If you have never read it, by all means, get a copy & do so. If you have, get the re-release today. It is the classic you remember that has been brought up to date & made even better… its even got a ‘study guide’ included in the back.

On my second reading of the re-release today. :)

Thinking about how thankful I am that the Bible doesn’t need to be updated.

I believe that we’re on the brink of something large. A fundamental shift in the way we live, work together, & carry out life. Not trying to come up with the Next Big Thing, but rather trying to cooperate with what I believe are the doors that are opening in front of us.

New ways of doing my job – new roles, with other things not happening any more. Trusting that God has provided & will provide for what comes next. Thankful I don’t have to have all the answers, but just do my part. And encourage others to do the same. Wherever they are. Cryptic enough?

I think I’ll go eat some more chocolate off the Drumstick heads.

musings on the 1st of July

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Let’s just say that I’ve been a bit… deliberate in my blogging the last few weeks… meaning, its been slow. Not because there’s nothing to blog about, (because, really, has that ever stopped me before,) but rather because I’m processing in my head. And I’m back, with an intent to bring the cheese.

Today is anniversary #20 of my marriage to theBean. When I think back through all the little ‘coincidences’ that led to us connecting that 3rd week of June, 1988, it boggles my mind. Perhaps I’ll spend a little time revisiting the birth of our adventure.

I’m not much of a Destiny believer (meaning: there’s 1 person out there for me & Destiny will bring us to-gev-uh…) which automatically identifies me as a “chick-flick hater” (not true: I’ll watch ’em. Just don’t buy into ’em.) And as a “non-romantic” (also not true: I may not be the Dr. of Love, but I have been known to be able to romance, wine, & dine my girl…)

However, there were more than a few ‘what if’s’ that had to come together – when I was reminiscing about that with theBean, I asked her, “How could I get so lucky that you would love ME?” She said, “Hmm. Good question. You must’ve just been in the right place at the right time…” With a smile.

I was thinking about my life, & wondering if I would enjoy it if my job had a “summer break” – like my 3 kids do. Sometimes, the loads of free time, lounging around, doing whatever, whenever, however seems attractive. And then I realize that one of life’s great joys is the ability to do something with purpose…

Mind you, I’m not talking about deriving my worth from work; instead, its knowing that my life matters. Being able to put my hands to something, to give my all & do my best plays a role in the feeling of contentment. I’ve been reading through Ecclesiastes & found something that sums that up for me:

Here is what I have seen to be and fitting: to eat, to drink, & enjoy oneself in all one’s labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward…Ecclesiastes 5:18 NASB

Perhaps the doldrums, depression, & discontent come from not having something to apply one’s hands to? Not just a job, but a place to volunteer, help out, give of oneself. Hmmm.

Just booked my time at CSR for the 3rd week of August. Me & theBean spent some time there last year & it was life-changing. If you’d like to reminisce (I know I did!) you can check out the posts from last August HERE

Current reading list:

  • Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness – the re-release by Jerry Cook. Sweet. It just came out, & I can’t put it down.
  • Mother Kirk – by Douglas Wilson – a study in practical ecclesiology (the study of church doctrine,) in the reformed tradition… Hmmm.
  • The Mishnah – though I’m using it more as a resource & research book rather than reading through it cover to cover…
  • Emotionally Healthy Spirituality – Peter Scazzero – revisiting this in advance of my solo August journey to CSR…

    Time to go work out. Then home to shower, put on my foo-foo clothes, & out to dinner (which will be, most likely a slab of beef,) with my One, myBean, the love of my life, mother of my children, most B-E-A-Utiful woman in the entire world…

    Sigh.