Post-Deutschland Musings…

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Pardon the meanderings… I’m back from Deutschland, slept in til about 8:30 (what what?) & feel very rested. I believe that the rhythm & pace we have been trying to follow with the Hillside Sabbath was incredibly helpful to our time in Frankfurt.

  • Reno is hot, but it’s a dry hot. I like it.

  • The Mosel is a beautiful region in Germany, possibly more beautiful than anywhere I’ve ever been. I laid down among the grapevines (intentionally) & could just feel the tangible sense of rest, of purpose, the pace of life that has been going on there for generations, with families living where their great-great-great-greats had been. It inspired awe in my soul. And, for the first time in my life, made me long for the green that Nevada hath not.

  • We focus a lot on success & failure. I’m not sure God does that nearly as much as we do, & don’t believe that a lot of what we call “success” would meet His criteria for the same. Ditto for failure.

  • Grace is good. I need it. And to give it.

  • My wife is an amazing woman. And like the Dornfelder from the Schwaab vineyards we just visited, she’s getting better with age. NOTE: this isn’t to get brownie points from her either, as she doesn’t read my blogs. (And I said “whoooaaaahhh.”)

    • This “pondering” is a little longer, so I’ll go to traditional blogging format:

    Based on the saying (Augustine?)

    In essentials (the things we know for sure are of prime importance to God,) unity. In non-essentials (the things that are debateable, doubtful, not known for sure, open to interpretation,) liberty. In all things, charity (love, acceptance, care, concern).

    For the last year+ I’ve been pondering, wondering about, & observing how much of our Christianity (mine & yours?) has been based on our culture rather than on real faith essentials… meaning, much of what I grew up in, experienced, & have observed (& continue to) has been more a product of our country of origin, the life experiences, & the definitions, practices & traditions that have been passed down to us by our very well-meaning elders… the result ends up being a Christianity defined by what we don’t do. Something that I have heard over & over & over, ad nauseam, from other Christians is “you’re not doing it right” referring to how I live for Jesus; my values & convictions; my priorities & life choices. Someday, I may do a post with the top 10 “We don’t do’s” for American christianity, so I won’t list them here… But, you know what they are, don’t you :)?

    It’s funny because different groups have different lists of things that they would consider to be “essentials” – my take is that if its something Jesus & the scriptures emphasized, the church has been connected with, still applies & matters regardless of your country of origin, culture & cultural experience, & technology (or lack thereof,) it might be an essential.

    Bummer. We don’t associate with other “believers” that aren’t as enlightened as us. That we “do it” or “don’t do it” right, while others don’t. Don’t believe it? Read the yellow pages, in the ad section for churches. Check out how we differentiate ourselves from other churches. Usually by the “We don’t’s”. Hmmm.

    It gets me to thinking about my perspective, the point of view that I have. Is it godly? Or have I created my own god in my own image, one who reflects me, my likes & dislikes, my preferences? Am I espousing a theoretical christianity that nothing to do with living a godly life? Or is the “godliness” I proclaim more closely tied to epic, stoic, &/or ascetic belief systems?

    Freedom. It was for freedom that Christ has set us free. Are we free? Or are we bound to religious traditions & practices that lead more to the exaltation of self than the glorification of Jesus Christ?

    ramblings…

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    I’m on my way to Frankfurt, Germany, for a 15 day trip with a team of 18 from our church, visiting with & hanging out with our sister church, Treffpunkt Leben…

    One of my highlights of going to Germany (my wife & I go about 3 times/year) is that the Hefeweizen is absolutely incredible, & completely different than the American counterpart. The German Hefe is sweeter, smoother, with a great, great finish that has no need of any sort of fruit in in to make it taste better. (I know there are other reasons for putting a lemon, orange, lime, etc. in a beer, like “we’ve always done it that way,” but I digress.) On this particular trip, our team is wrapping up with a 2 1/2 day stay at a B&B style vineyard about an hour out of downtown Frankfurt… We’re really looking forward to the quiet, the rest, the connection opportunities, & yes, learning about & sampling the German wines…

    On that note, I was getting ready to post a blog stating that I’d be out of town for 15 days, & wouldn’t be posting, when I came across this article A Snapshot of Christian Culture in the US of A; or why Christians in other parts of the world think Americans are a bit cuckoo… by Dan Kimball. Please note that I take 100% of the credit for the title of the link, & in no way am stating that Dan has labeled his article what I called it in the link…

    #20

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    My long awaited 20th high school reunion finally arrived, & Friday night & Saturday day/night, the Bean & I got the opportunity to interact & celebrate with a plethora of people, most of whom I had lost touch with upon my move to Carson City in 1987/88. Going into the evening, (Friday) I made a list – (as every good, organized person knows you’re SUPPOSED to) – of people that I wanted to make sure to talk with in the attempt to reconnect. I feel pretty blessed in that I was able to have significant & meaningful interactions with every single person that I put on my list.

    Over the next couple of days, pre-Deutschland, I hope to post some pictures, organize some thoughts, & pontificate a bit about what I experienced. In a nutshell – it was an 11. My hopes for this weekend were realized. Prayers were answered. Thank you Jesus.

    excerpt…

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    I’ve been reading the “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” book by Peter Scazzero (check out THIS LINK to find out more.) It posits the idea that we can’t grow as Christ-followers beyond the point to which we have matured emotionally… therefore, its possible, probable that a 40 year old person, a Christian for 20 years, could still be functioning relationally as an emotional infant, child, or adolescent. Very insightful stuff.

    The excerpt I’m sharing with you is from pp. 178,179 & gives some characteristics of different stages of emotional development – read it & weep.

    EMOTIONAL INFANTS

  • look for others to take care of them

  • have great difficulty entering into the world of others

  • Are drive by the need for instant gratification

  • Use others as objects to meet their needs

    • EMOTIONAL CHILDREN

  • Are content & happy as long as they receive what they want

  • Unravel quickly from stress, disappointments, trials

  • Interpret disagreements as personal offenses

  • Are easily hurt

  • Complain, withdraw, manipulate, take revenge, beomce sarcastic when they don’t get their way

  • have great difficulty calmly discussing their needs & wants in a mature & loving way

    • EMOTIONAL ADOLESCENTS

  • Tend to often be defensive.

  • Are threatened & alarmed by criticism.

  • Keep score of what they give so they can ask for something later in return.

  • Deal w/conflict poorly, often blaming, appeasing, going to a 3rd party, pouting, or ignoring the issue entirely.

  • Become preoccupied with themselves.

  • have great difficulty truly listening to another person’s pain, disappointments, or needs.

  • Are critical & judgmental

    • EMOTIONAL ADULTS

  • Are able to ask for what they need, want, or prefer-clearly, directly, honestly

  • Recognize, manage, & take responsibility for their own thoughts & feelings

  • Can, when under stress, state their own beliefs & values without becoming adversarial

  • Respect others without having to change them.

  • Give people room to make mistrakes & not be perfect

  • Appreciate people for who they are – the good, bad, & ugly-not for what they give back.

  • accurately assess their own limits, strengths, & weaknesses & are able to freely discuss them with others.

  • Are deeply in tune with their own emotional world & able to enter into the feelings, needs, & concerns of others without losing themselves.

  • Have the capacity to resolve conflict maturely & negotiate solutions that consider the perspectives of others

    • Interesting, esp. as a mirror for self-examination. What rings true of me & my behavior? What am I able to see about myself? Next, I’ll take this to the Bean & ask her to honestly assess how I interact with her… & we’ll go from there…

    Thursday & it’s pouring…

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    My family moved in the summer before my 5th grade year – we didn’t leave Reno, but I had to change schools. For some reason, I didn’t get enrolled in the new school in time to go on the first day – I ended up showing up on about Day 4… I was petrified.

    The move meant lots of loss… loss of contact with old friends. Loss of a routine. Loss of being able to walk to school. Loss of the only house I’d lived in through my “aware” years (4-10.) Loss of neighbors… loss of living in town. Loss of feeling like my life was the best, most secure life that a kid could ever experience.

    I made friends eventually… after being relegated to the hopscotch court with 3 girls (true story,) for about 3 weeks, I caught a break because the other guys that played football at recess lost one of their players due to a broken arm or chicken pox (I forget which.) His loss was my gain. Someone threw me the football in an act of desperation & in my zeal I grabbed it & outran everyone on the playground field to the end-zone. I had a very small niche.

    I’ve never forgotten what it felt like to have nowhere to go at recess… to be passed over as non-existent by peers… to have the only people that even knew I was alive be the others that didn’t fit, that didn’t connect… I had thought I was a pretty confident person, that I’d be able to be me in just about any situations – I found that when I was out of my familar environment, I was frozen, unable to move, unwilling to reach out, because I was pretty sure that I couldn’t handle the possibility of rejection. It shaped me in ways that I’m still discovering. And it made me want others to never be in that situation – if I could help it.

    PS – I know its not raining from the sky today – but there are many, many ways that rain falls into one’s life, no?

    uh-oh.

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    Just when I thought I was doing a good job at monitoring my processings of life here on this blog, I find out:
    Free Online Dating

    This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words in various posts written over the last 2 years:

  • dead (17x)

  • death (16x)

  • pain (15x)

  • hurt (8x)

  • dangerous (5x)

  • kill (3x)

  • sex (2x)

  • suck (1x)

    • Thanks to Dan for the info on blog ratings… who’d a thunk it.

    Growing to Maturity…

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    The last week I’ve had several interactions & meetings that drove me to dig out my copy of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality for a refresher.

    The Scazzero book mentioned above, summed up, posits the idea that spiritual maturity & a true Christian experience can’t be separated from emotional health & maturity. E.g. emotionally immature people can’t/don’t grow to real spiritual maturity, even though they may have many, many years logged as Christians. Scazzero states, from his own experience, that only by becoming emotionally healthy can any of us truly grow to maturity.

    In my un edgy-cated opinion, based solely upon my interactions with a large cross-section of humanity, (with a varied Christian experience & length of tenure as Christians,) tends to bear out Scazzero’s hypothesis. One of the things that I’ve also noticed is that the “ministry” seems to attract, nurture, & reward emotionally unhealthy people – in that it, the ministry, becomes a valid place for a person to ‘get their strokes,’ though its often at the expense of others. And in the name of God. Why is this?

    I’m re-reading the book. And pondering these thoughts. And doing a lot of introspecting.