My family moved in the summer before my 5th grade year – we didn’t leave Reno, but I had to change schools. For some reason, I didn’t get enrolled in the new school in time to go on the first day – I ended up showing up on about Day 4… I was petrified.
The move meant lots of loss… loss of contact with old friends. Loss of a routine. Loss of being able to walk to school. Loss of the only house I’d lived in through my “aware” years (4-10.) Loss of neighbors… loss of living in town. Loss of feeling like my life was the best, most secure life that a kid could ever experience.
I made friends eventually… after being relegated to the hopscotch court with 3 girls (true story,) for about 3 weeks, I caught a break because the other guys that played football at recess lost one of their players due to a broken arm or chicken pox (I forget which.) His loss was my gain. Someone threw me the football in an act of desperation & in my zeal I grabbed it & outran everyone on the playground field to the end-zone. I had a very small niche.
I’ve never forgotten what it felt like to have nowhere to go at recess… to be passed over as non-existent by peers… to have the only people that even knew I was alive be the others that didn’t fit, that didn’t connect… I had thought I was a pretty confident person, that I’d be able to be me in just about any situations – I found that when I was out of my familar environment, I was frozen, unable to move, unwilling to reach out, because I was pretty sure that I couldn’t handle the possibility of rejection. It shaped me in ways that I’m still discovering. And it made me want others to never be in that situation – if I could help it.
PS – I know its not raining from the sky today – but there are many, many ways that rain falls into one’s life, no?