Easter musings, & a few other things…

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Something changed in the way I think about Easter – I noticed it in my preparations for the speeching… Can’t quite put a finger on what the change was exactly, but I can describe the absence of something… no angst caused by approaching a familiar topic – at various times coming up on past Easters, I’ve had a tension in my gut, a feeling that I needed to have a good speech for the day, or a gooder speech than I would normally bring (it sounds silly when I read those last sentences to myself, but they’re staying in.) This time, not so much – it was a very simple preparation time – born out of some Bible reading at a time when I wasn’t even “ON” (translation – phishing or studying for speeching material…)

Spent the afternoon with dear friends – great pizza, wings, & french dips – chocolate fondue, & a great Bordeaux. A fitting way to celebrate the Risen Christ.

On that note, I had the most amazing realization – I am a musical kind of guy – goodness. Who’d a thunk it? Looking back, I should have known – My Fair Lady, the Sound of Music, & even Doctor Dolittle (Rex Harrison Version please) etc…

Had an answer to prayer this week, specifically on the issue of pain I blogged about before… And I can see the glimmer of hope -not because the situation has changed, but probably because of my perspective. Approaching life with pessimism & realism can be such downers, esp. when it’s HOPE that is needed to carry the day. I’ll be revisiting that idea – that I need a HOPE infusion as a part of my Jesus life is a surety.

I wish to be more proficient on the guitar – that I would be able to play with my fingers what I hear in my head.

Last week, while in conversation with a friend, I heard him speak almost apologetically (ok, no almost about it, he was seriously qualifying…) about some nice things that he had. It wasn’t like he got them from any illegal or illicit activity – he was blessed – he bought a nice car – & a nice home. Had some disposable income. And felt like when talking to me (& others) that he needed to give a disclaimer as though a Christ-follower shouldn’t have nice stuff. He’s definitely not the guy that is trying to get people to sow their “RESURRECTION SEED into his MIHN-uss-tree” – not a charlatan – but it was still there. I’ll have to ponder that.

Processing pain… from a distance.

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Some dear friends of mine are in pain. Not the kind of pain that you know will fade with time, the kind where their bodies’ healing process kicks in, taking the often slow but still rather dependable journey to some semblance of health. No, this is a pain w/o a promise of healing.

They’ve experienced a violation from a close relationship, a trusted friend, the kind that shakes your faith in any humanity, & causes you to look at every area of life, every other relationship more closely… to subject others to examinations & questionings that seem so inappropriate, so untrusting to even think of friends this way… except for the fact that the violation happened. From a close friend, a trusted associate. One with whom sweet fellowship has been shared… They keep waiting to hit bottom, to finally come to the end of the Painful Revelations, where the depth & breadth & scope of the violations could finally be processed or at least assessed, instead of tensing up the gut, waiting for the next punch of disappointment to hit.

(BTW: please, please don’t get lost in the sweet fellowship comment. Think of it in the very best way you can, w/o the cynicism & jaded-ness. Thanks for that.)

Though I’m at a distance, their pain is mine as well. I’m trying to walk through this & to help them too. To point them to One that doesn’t disappoint. To remind ourselves of Easter & the ramifications of it. To look inward & ask the Spirit of God to explore the depths of my soul, every nook & cranny, exposing the things that lie in wait to wreak havoc. My prayer is:

Search me Father – know my heart. Try me, know my mind. If there be any wicked way in me, pull me to the Rock everlasting.

Hangin’ w/Mr. C

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This last weekend, the Bean & I had a conference that we attended at the Embassy Suites in SLTahoe – very nice room, great breakfast buffet, hot coffee that tasted like… coffee. And hanging out with a hero of mine – Jerry Cook. He’s a guy in his late 60s that has pastored for many years, & is the author of a couple of my alltime favorite reads, books that have played a large part in how I see what it means to live out the life of a Christ-follower – & especially within the organism called “Church.”

One of those books is called Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness & it speaks about the church being a place where each of those words is a lived out character trait, extended to people… seems simple enough, almost worthy of a “duh!” Of course that’s what church should be about… but its often not the case, because we (yes, that’s me owning my share of being the Church) have times where we end up living out something radically different, & something that I believe is a different gospel than the one Jesus modeled.

Somehow, someway, to extend love is interpreted as being soft on the sin that has often brought people to the place where they are. Acceptance is seen as weak & tolerant (in the swear word version of tolerant,) & forgiveness is extending ‘sloppy’ grace to people so they’ll stick around the church…

I love how Mr. C explained & then defined ‘his version’ of Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness – & how each one embodies the mission of the Christ-follower, & also allowed Jesus to be at home, be Himself in any & every situation, regardless of who He was hanging around with. Every word needs a definition by the way – because they’re carrying all kinds of weight & meaning around in all of our heads – so, to help us grasp it, he defined the words, then gave examples of what he sees that Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness are NOT.

  • Love isn’t License – to give permission &/or encourage people to live w/o restraint or regard for righteousness
  • Acceptance isn’t Agreement – insisting on harmony or congruence of opinion in all areas
  • Forgiveness isn’t Compromise- making shameful or dishonorable concessions

    He said a lot more than that, but I really camped out on Acceptance & Agreement… extending acceptance, lived out, is embracing others w/o the condition of holding the same belief, opinion, or set of values. It’s how Jesus could hang w/sinners w/o feeling threatened that He would become like them…He was confident in Himself & His own identity & looked at others in the way God looks at them. Many of the religious leaders of Jesus’ day had a severe issue w/Jesus because they couldn’t & didn’t make the distinction between Accepting someone & Agreeing with them. More on that another time…

    Other blog topics that will emerge soon:

  • People pleasing…
  • Ruminations on: “How I had a great & inspiring weekend w/Mr. C, while at the same weekend the Bean came away down in a hole…”
  • Bullies…
  • Recess…

    Thanks for playing along & reading all the way through…

    • spring break musings: swimming & sunning…

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    Spring Break for Washoe County is officially “on” this week – in retrospect, it’s kinda nice that it falls right at the same time that we Spring Forward, so that somehow, the blow of losing an hour of sleep & having the schedule torqued has a week to be processed before the childrens have to return to the daily grind.

    I also think on the subtle shift that has occurred, with Spring Break moving away from being tied to Easter (& it’s former name, Easter Break.) Not ready to comment on that, but I’m just sayin…

    In former times, a week off from school was a joyous occasion, a time for swimming. And sunning. Even if (when) it was cold, we’d find a pool to spend our days in. And if we were lucky, we wouldn’t even need towels, because we could just dry off outside using solar power.

    I miss the simplicity of the swimming & sunning days. And I wonder how that kid that I was is doing with the life I live now…

    stubbornness as a character trait (or flaw)…

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    Thursday, the Bean went in to the friendly neighborhood Cingular/ATT store in order to get an issue with Pasty’s phone taken care of… at least that’s the main reason. She happened to come out with a brand spanking new celly from Palm. Since we’re on the same plan, I was surprised to hear that she had been able to upgrade her now old phone already, as its usually at least 24 months between ‘free’ upgrades. (Don’t get me started.) BTW: it’s a Palm Centro that has just joined the family.

    Seems that the local neighborhood ATT guy helped her get around the little “24 month til you can upgrade for free” by using one of the other lines on the account that WAS NEWLY ELIGIBLE for the upgrade to get her a new phone for just $***, (after the 356 month rebate, of course.) Guess who’s newly eligible line was appropriated? If you guess anyone other than me, you’d be wrong.

    So what’s the rub? It’s not like I was looking to get a new phone – though I was enjoying my status of being “out of contract.” I have found ATT to be very willing to negotiate group rate & feature prices, as well as offering free stuff, good phone upgrades etc in order to “woo” you into signing over your life for Yet Another 24 month period of time.

    The catch in this process came when i was on my way home to the little woman, & thought I’d bless her with a warning call – one of those, “Hi Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes…” calls. My line went directly to ATT Customer Service where I was told that in order to use my phone, & as a part of the upgrade that I had just received, I would need to agree to surrender my long-awaited “out of service” status to be once again, enslaved by the corporate giant that is ATT. And, until I did, my phone privileges were suspended.

    I arrived home to find only Cubby (the nickname I’ve given to the 13 year old after a recent bout of In-School Discipline for something that Wasn’t His Fault.) I used Cubby’s phone to call ATT & talk to a live person. 2 different people took 30 minutes to describe the WHY behind my line suspension. Why MY line suspension? Because “i” had recently upgraded my phone. I tried to explain that no, I hadn’t upgraded my phone, but someone in their retail store had pulled a switcheroo. As you can probably imagine, they don’t care.

    So now – I have a cell phone that is suspended until I agree to the 24 month contract extension. And, to me, it makes perfect sense that I will not agree to that contract extension. On principle.

    If you’ve tried to reach me by cell, it’s not that I am “not taking calls” as the nice lady with the psycho-recording voice stated – its that unbeknownst to me, my right to freedom from a celly contract was violated in the name of getting the Bean an upgraded phone. And my line is suspended until I do agree. Which might be a while…

    update…

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  • After further contemplating the contemplation post, Ben has decided to grace theMoses & I with his presence at the Abbey in April. Good times. Thanks for playing along Ben… we’ll be growing. Even the Bean is looking forward to me going. (Is there a theme here that I should be paying attention to?)

  • When it rains, it pours – the last 10 days have been gnarly in the news they’ve brought – & not Gnarly like the snowboarders throw it around, but gnarly like when I was a kid waaaaayyy back in the 80s… a recurring theme: friends & the burning out & falling apart, brought about by the Machine’s chewing up & spitting out…

  • Dancing? True – the Pasty Gangster went to the JA Dance last Saturday. With a real girl. And danced. We had to go to the place they ate dinner because ALL the parents were going to be overbearing micromanagers of their offspring’s attempts to hang with friends & real dates, (did I just say that out loud?) Errrr… What I meant is that all the parents went so that they could commemorate the stellar event through pictures. Very nice. Pasty cleans up well. The girl he took has a dad that snapped all the ‘formal’ pictures. He took 250 pictures in 20 minutes. That is truly awe-inspiring.

  • I wrote an article that ended up in our denominations quarterly publication… HERE. After seeing the finished (& edited) product for the first time since I sent it off to the editor, I initially had a difficult time determining if I’d really written it, as the word-processor of the editor seems to have been very active, sharp as a two-edged sword, dividing between… you get the idea. I’m not complaining – just really surprised at how different it looks :0

  • NEWSFLASH: Jesus was Jewish. And in the 1st century, lived in a Jewish culture, among Jewish people. And Jesus’ ministry, outlook, & actions are full of Jewish history, references, & information that can’t be separated from that Jewish context. (It’s true.)

  • Youtube means that anyone can be a Live Action Preacher Hero on the Internet TeeVee. Like this guy.

    • contemplation ahead…

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    TheMoses & I are planning a retreat…

    For the last year or so, we’ve been talking about going to a place together where we can disconnect from the regular & get away for some contemplation… (in the vein of the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality book by Scazzero.

    After lots of searching, I found a place that is relatively clost to where we are, Vina, California. In early April, we’re off to New Clairveaux for about 3 days. It’s a Trappist monastery that allows individuals & small groups (up to 3 at a time) to come to their site for rest, personal enrichment, silence, etc.

    A bonus is that the monks support themselves by making vino – you can find out more about that HERE.

    I’m not sure what to expect, other than some quiet personal reflective time, & also some bonding time with TheMoses.

    is it a social disorder? or am I just anti-social?

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    Tonight is the Big Dinner – its a low-key event at our church building where people get together to eat dinner. Not a pot-luck – it’s BYOF – everyone brings their own food – what they’d be eating for dinner. We’re sitting “hof-brau” style at long tables, & just interacting with our family & with the others that are around us. My wife has been excited about this for, oh, a jillion years. The opportunity to eat, drink, & be merry with friends is exactly the sort of thing that floats her proverbial boat.

    But me, well, that’s a different story. The idea of sitting down & eating together scares me. Why? you might ask… I’m not quite sure.

    I’m not much for crowds – standing in line – getting stuck anywhere; I’ve been known to get a bit claustrophobic. I like to sit at the end of the table, because then I have at least one right/90degree angle in front of me. Somehow, that is comforting. I was trying to explain what my emotions & thoughts are on this topic to the Bean, theMoses, & Brother. I really like the idea of the Big Dinner & eating my own food. Of seeing friends. Making new ones… but the practical working out of it makes me feel a bit reclusive.

    However, in spite of the fear, I will be there. At the Big Dinner. Hopefully sitting on an end.