Some dear friends of mine are in pain. Not the kind of pain that you know will fade with time, the kind where their bodies’ healing process kicks in, taking the often slow but still rather dependable journey to some semblance of health. No, this is a pain w/o a promise of healing.
They’ve experienced a violation from a close relationship, a trusted friend, the kind that shakes your faith in any humanity, & causes you to look at every area of life, every other relationship more closely… to subject others to examinations & questionings that seem so inappropriate, so untrusting to even think of friends this way… except for the fact that the violation happened. From a close friend, a trusted associate. One with whom sweet fellowship has been shared… They keep waiting to hit bottom, to finally come to the end of the Painful Revelations, where the depth & breadth & scope of the violations could finally be processed or at least assessed, instead of tensing up the gut, waiting for the next punch of disappointment to hit.
(BTW: please, please don’t get lost in the sweet fellowship comment. Think of it in the very best way you can, w/o the cynicism & jaded-ness. Thanks for that.)
Though I’m at a distance, their pain is mine as well. I’m trying to walk through this & to help them too. To point them to One that doesn’t disappoint. To remind ourselves of Easter & the ramifications of it. To look inward & ask the Spirit of God to explore the depths of my soul, every nook & cranny, exposing the things that lie in wait to wreak havoc. My prayer is:
Search me Father – know my heart. Try me, know my mind. If there be any wicked way in me, pull me to the Rock everlasting.
I was here.
my prayers are here
I feel it, I feel it . . . Amen to your prayer . . .
I was here