Category Archives: Church

You didn’t let ME run!

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“You didn’t let ME run, Dad.”

TheWeez’s comment took me by surprise. I had no context. “What do you mean Weez?”

“You sat up on the stage today after church, & there were like 100 little kids running crazy all over the church, & you just sat there smiling. And then later on, you pointed out that little kids run & make messes & are loud… & you’re okay with it, because they are also a great sign of life. But you didn’t let ME run!”

Hmmm. She was going back in the archives to the Olden Days. The days before Boys entered her world. Before self-consciousness had struck. Before there was anything else on her agenda for the day except getting where she wanted to go as fast as she could. And what she recalled was that when she was small, like the running mitey-mites that had filled the sanctuary today, I wouldn’t let her run. My daughter.

I remember THAT guy. Sometimes he feels like a completely different person than I was, but then I see that he has scars on his shoulders in the same places I do, & I can remember thinking what he was thinking, & knowing, KNOWING that I KNEW what was most important in life… & kids not running at church, especially my kids, was important. Sigh.

That guy. Uptight. Grumpy. On the edge of angry most of the time. Easily frustrated. Defensive. Insecure. Immature. Trying sooooo hard. Working harder. Faster. Longer. Wearing out. Breaking down. Bottled up. Hurting. Confused. Tired.

He was so hard to be around; I couldn’t stand him. Its even harder to come to grips with when I know that I know that THAT guy was me. He left marks on the psyches of those he loved the most, theBean, Pasty, iDoey, & theWeez. Among others.

What I don’t remember is when that guy left. It seems that he might have lingered, neither here nor there, for quite a while, until finally he was gone, no longer welcome.

“You didn’t let me run, Dad. I just wanted to run,” theWeez said, softer this time. “WHY? Why didn’t you?”

“I’m so sorry Weez. I thought I knew what I was doing, but looking back, I was silly, in the worst grownup kind of churchy silly that I could be. I’m so sorry…” My voice trailed off. My eyes reacted with vigor to the dust-storm that must have just appeared in the room; otherwise, why would my eyes be so clouded…?

“If I had it to do over again, sweetheart, I would let you run. And I would run with you.”

“You would?”

“Yep. I would.”

She thought for a moment… “Yeah, you probably would.” Big smile.

the day at church no one ever forgot, & other musings…

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I’ve been a part of the Church for the majority of my life, & I have experienced many incredible, wonderful things; interactions with brothers & sisters in Christ, & time spent in the presence of God in the context of our whole church family.

Some of the most powerful memories I have, however, are when something bad happened.

One Sunday that will live in infamy, I was a 19 year old kid working the sound board. At the beginning of the pastor’s message, a woman walked up to the front of the church & tried to grab a microphone. The pastor told her, “I’m not going to let you share.” She insisted that she had no choice, & that she was being compelled by the spirit to do so. The pastor was resolute, (thankfully) & told her that under no circumstance would she be allowed to bring her message.

The room was deadly quiet. The pastor explained that the woman had come to his office earlier in the week, & had told him that she had a message from God. After hearing what her message was, the pastor told her (& relayed to us) that he didn’t believe it was from the LORD because of the severe tone of condemnation, accusation, and belittling. He told her at that time, (& relayed to us,) that our Father God doesn’t speak to us that way; His heart is for repentance & restoration; further, spiritual gifts (including prophetic words,) were to be encouraging, edifying, and exhorting to the Church. This woman’s message was none of those.

So what happened? She laid down. In the front row of the church. And the pastor went back into his message. And no one in that room EVER forgot what had happened, nor the lesson that we learned about how God speaks to His people.

I’ve wondered how he finished the message… especially when I’m distracted by something as benign as a louder-than-it-needs-to-be conversation that happens during the speech. Hmm.

Acts 5 –
What was happening in the early church was a beautiful thing. The believers were putting into action Christ’s command to “love one another” in a most tangible way; they were using their finances and other resources to care for each others real, felt needs. No one was left out; all were provided for. This spirit of benevolence was so pervasive that people were even selling properties in order to make sure that there would be money available to help others, just in case.

It was truly incredible.

At the very same time, a sobering event shook the church to its core. A married couple, Ananias & Sapphira, sold their own piece of land with the intent of giving the proceeds to the church. At some point however, they decided that they would keep some of the money for themselves; they’d still give some to the church, but not all of it.

The fact that they kept some of the money wasn’t the problem. In no way was there any requirement for them to give it all. However, together they plotted to tell the apostles (& the rest of the church) that the amount they were giving was the entire purchase price, thinking that no one would be the wiser.

They chose willfully & intentionally to lie. To God. It was a big deal to Him. It cost them their lives.

I’ve read this passage (Acts 5:1-11) many times, & I’ve wondered about & guessed at the motivation for Ananias & Sapphira’s lie.

    -Was it people-pleasing mixed with greed? Others in the church were getting attention for their selfless acts; did they just wanted in on that attention?

    -Was the love of money? Did they start out with a good intention & get sidetracked, tripped up by temptation?

    -Were they trying to buy favor, influence, &/or position in the church?

I don’t know. And I also don’t know the WHY behind their deaths. I do know that ultimately, God chose to address their choices and behaviors in a strong way, & that as a result, a great fear came upon the church & all who heard about it. That church didn’t see sin the same way ever again; & they most definitely didn’t think that God was Someone to try to pull one over on.

Both Ananias & Sapphira had the choice to repent, to acknowledge their lie, & given that choice, they stuck to their story. Ouch.

I look at my own life & see many times where, if God wanted to step in & say, “Not in my house!” I would have been dead to rights, & worthy of whatever punishment He chose to give.

It makes me thankful for repentance – the opportunity God gives us to turn FROM sin, & to turn TO God, & to know that if I confess my sin, & turn from it, that Christ is faithful & just to forgive & to purify from all unrighteousness (1John 1:7-10)

Thoughts on Acts 15…

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Acts 15:10,11 Now, therefore, why are you putting God to the test by placing a yoke on the neck of the disciples that neither our fathers nor we have been able to bear? But we believe that we will be saved through the grace of the Lord Jesus, just as they will.”

Acts 15 tells of a crisis in the church… the number of believers in Christ was growing daily, & not just among Jews anymore. Now, even the Gentiles were coming to Christ! So what’s the crisis?

Certain groups among the Jewish believers couldn’t imagine God calling and saving people that weren’t circumcised. After all, circumcision was VERY significant for the Jew, as it marked the establishment of their covenant identity with God. Circumcision marked them in most intimate way as a separate, distinct, people who belonged to the LORD.

I thank God for Paul, Barnabas and the Jerusalem council; when confronted with the pressing question, “What are we going to do about this?” they reminded their Christian brothers that the gospel being preached is one of grace and justification through faith. I imagine their debate with those that were demanding circumcision, wondering out loud what other hoops to jump through could have arisen if Paul and the others had given in. Dietary restrictions? Hair and beards? Rejection of one’s culture of origin to embrace the Jewish culture?

Here we are 2000+ later, mostly Gentiles reading this, wondering what the big deal was… in hindsight its easy to point out the Old Testament scriptures where God calls for the “inner circumcision,” a circumcision of the heart. It’s silly, because we know that we’d never put stumbling blocks in front of new believers, and for sure would never add to the gospel… Would we?

Hmmm. I remember as a kid seeing people different than my family and me coming to church. I know now that they were ‘hippies” – identified by their bare feet, old Levis, t-shirts, and mostly unkempt hair and beards. They really stood out…

I remember it was a big deal when they came to Christ, gave their testimonies of deliverance and expressed earnest desire for freedom from drugs, immorality, and their desire to be clean, whole, and experience real love. I remember the discussions that took place where church leaders wrestled with the influx of new people, and wondered how we could help disciple them… One suggestion rings in my ears:

“What they really need is some different clothes and a haircut. They need to know that they’re the temple of the Holy Spirit.”

Ouch.

We do it too. Makes me wonder… are we adding to the “Main Thing” of the gospel? Are there “Louie-isms” that are being elevated to “gotta do’s”?

LORD, remind us that we are saved by Your grace, just as our brothers and sisters around the world are.

I say, you hear…

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Currently, my school studies center on communication within organizations. This is especially intriguing to me in the context of large/small scale communication within the church (anything from to one-on-one conversations, to addressing large groups.)

One of the most common means of communication within the church is the speech/teaching. It consists largely of “Information Transfer:” I talk (download), you listen, (upload). Information transferred & accurately communicated. Done.

Except not.

Stuff gets in the way, that keeps us from ‘getting’ it.

Stuff like INFORMATION OVERLOAD – at some point, there’s just too much information & the brain says “No más.” Which is unfortunate, especially if the speech goes on for another 15 minutes.

Stuff like NOISE – maybe its actual physical noise that distorts & distracts, like a baby crying or people talking; it might be internal noise caused by stopping “full listening” in order to think on something that was said; or it could be external noise that comes from the surrounding environment. Regardless, the end result is the person/individual stops processing.

Stuff like AMBIGUITY – words mean things, & often, the same word can have vastly different meanings depending on the person hearing it. For example, I could say, “We are wanting to bring more structure to our church.” You might hear, “Structure? You mean everyone gets put into a cookie cutter? No thanks.” What was intended by the word “structure” was a trying to create a more effective & efficient way to help connect people to/within the church body, to coordinate our efforts in mission & purpose, & to accurately & quickly get vital information to those that need to hear it.

Big difference.

I know what I’m saying, but I don’t know what you’re hearing. Anything that you hear that remotely resembles what I said, is a miracle – Jerry Cook

Day 9 & 10 – Deutschland Fall 2010 – Friends Day

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Day 9
Friday was mostly a slow, restful day; on purpose, as my weekend is packed… I spent the morning packing for my weekend trip to Engstingen & then Ottersweier. I’m taking one small bag for the road trip, & trying to squish as much into it as possible. Oh I wished I had the Bean’s mad packing skills with me at that moment.

I headed for the Frankfurt main station about 4. Fortunately, I made the 1st train, but somehow, someway that train was slow getting to the next station – meaning, I missed connection to Reutlingen by 10 minutes. There was another train headed that way that was delayed by 10 minutes from leaving – & I jumped on that one seconds before it started pulling away from the station.

Arrived about 20 minutes late – picked up by Juergen, the pastor. He took me to house where I would be staying, which turned out to be in the home of an English teacher, Frank & a doctor, Kerstin, (1 e, 1 i.) I had a great room, & immediately connected with Frank on an American history research project was working on – absolutely fun!

Frank took me to the church to meet with several leaders – it was not really a ‘meeting’ but rather a ‘meet & greet’ over good pizza (yes, pizza!) & good wine. We had long discussions about how I got connected with Germany, then spent some time getting to know each other. Around 10 p.m. left with Frank to head for bed, & crashed hard.

Day 10
I woke up early to the smell of coffee & biscuits – got to sit & talk with Frank about life & marriage – truly, cultures may be different, but the challenges facing husbands & wives are the same worldwide – great opportunity to encourage each other – too soon, we had to leave to go to the church for Foursquare Friends Day.

The Day was hosted by the “Shelter Alb – Foursquare Church” of Engstingen, pastored by Juegen & Gudrun Zeeh – the purpose of the Day was to give their church a perspective on the Foursquare Family, see that they’re a part of something bigger than themselves.

Juergen had asked me to speak twice on whatever I want – BOOYAH. Got to choose 2 topics close to my heart: First up, the Monday Morning Church. Spoke out of Matthew 5:13-16 – shining our lights, living for God, bringing Him glory – I had everyone break into groups to answer the question for themselves: “What would Jesus do & how would He live if He were in my shoes?”

Second, talked about the Spirit-filled Life – from John 16:5-8 & Acts 1:8. Talked about how God fills us with His Spirit so we can live for Him, & be His witnesses – that He doesn’t ask us to do anything that He doesn’t provide the ways & means to do it.

I tried to make it as interactive as possible & get feedback. I was really encouraged to hear that there was lots of connection with what was talked about, as well as affirmation that this hit where they lived – & better, went along with what they (& Juergen) had been talking about for the last several months.

Had to leave to catch the afternoon train to Baden-Baden. On the way, Juergen’s car suddenly stopped – he tried restarting it to no avail. So, in desperation, (I had to get to the train station,) we decided to ‘jump it’ by popping the clutch in 2nd gear, which meant I would push the car, & he would steer it, then pop it at the appropriate time. After 3 tries, the car sputtered started, & we were on the road again. Several people got a good laugh watching me doing my best Jamaican bobsled pushed impersonation. However, I made my train with minutes to spare, & made the rest of my connections with plenty of time.

Julia picked me up at the train station with her friend Hannah – took me to her house where I’d be staying with her & her family for the next couple of days.

I’ve been really looking forward to this time with Julia & her family – there really is a special connection since she lived with us for 6 months. It was such a fun time with her family. We ate Pflammkuchen (french style pizza. Yes. Pizza) with all sorts of toppings on it, & great wine from the region & vineyards around her home. Lots of laughter & fun, really feels like a home away from home.

Talked with Julia a bit about Sunday a.m. She will be doing her first bit of translation – working to help her ease into it. Teaching from John 13:34,35 on Living a Simple Life: Love God, love people.

Missing home, theBean, & the family. To minimize the missing, I headed for bed, & crashed hard. Booyah!

Day 7 – Deutschland Fall 2010 – #1

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Today was the last day of the conference, which I started off with my traditional “Youth Hostel” breakfast of coffee, cherry quark & chocolate mueslix. Ahh. I will miss this.  We gathered for worship & then Jan taught on the declaration of the gospel (good news, God’s message,) from the book of Jonah. He talked about the selfishness & self-focus of Jonah, who didn’t want to declare the message given to him for the Ninevites. What really jumped out at me was the need for faithfulness & perseverance in the life of Christ-followers in living & speaking the gospel… & not just to those people for whom it is convenient/preferred for us to interact with.

The conference time closed with the “blessing of breaking of bread” – not communion, but a time where each person takes a piece of bread (the good, dark, dense German bread,) & goes to another person to pray a blessings over them.

I felt prompted to pray with Ryan, a guy from Connecticut by way of Newburgh, New York. He & his wife Rebecca are attending this conference in the final stages of praying about moving to Germany to serve in the Gau Algesheim church. It sounds like if they’re able to get jobs, they will relocate in January 2011. My heart is totally full, & I felt very encouraged to hear Ryan & Rebecca’s story – their heart for Germany & the German people, their desire to give their lives away here. I told them that they were answers to prayer: prayers that I (& I know others) prayed, asking God to send workers to serve in Germany… talked to them a little about the 6 pastors’ conferences that I’ve been to, praying & looking for ways to encourage, help, support, & ‘cheer on’ the pastors & leaders. I can remember at our first conference in November 2005 sitting in my room with Joni, praying for workers for the harvest. Ryan told me that it was 6 years ago that he & Rebecca, out of the blue, felt a pull & a stirring towards Germany. They’d never really had any inclination that way before, but in 2005 it started. Hmm.

I wept.

Prayed for favor, acceptance, & provision for them. That the LORD would bind the 2 of them together & pour them out (kinda like a never-ending pitcher of cool refreshing water pouring into the glasses of thirsty people…)

A couple of people prayed for & blessed me too.

Lunchtime was the final event before everyone piled into their cars (or onto the trains) & headed towards home. Eddy & I gave a ride to Rene (TPLF’s youth pastor, ) & to Stefan (the youth pastor of ICHTHYS church in Frankfurt, the church that TPLF was planted out of.)  I love youth pastors. And these 2 guys are good ones who love youth & love their city.

It has been absolutely POURING this afternoon – with the kind of cold that chills you to the bone. Laura made a “challah” & some coffee, & we all sat down, (along with a neighbor of theirs,) for hot drinks on a cold afternoon. Of course, it was at that point that I started yawning my face off, & excused myself to take a nap. I’ve got a ‘getaway’ planned late this evening (about 9 p.m.) with Martin & Sandra to catch up with them, & to check out one of Sandra’s favorite wine shops. Don’t know how late we’ll be out, & I’ve been to bed late & up early for the last few days, so squeezing in a nap seemed like a good idea.

I woke up to the 6 p.m. bells from the Catholic church across the street – though they’re loud, they’re also cheerful, welcoming, & they bring me joy. For reals. Once my brain clicks on, I will definitely see if it’s stopped raining long enough to get out & stretch my legs with a brisk walk around the block.

My upcoming schedule:

  • Tomorrow, Thursday is a ‘free’ day for the most part, which means studying for my “Foursquare Friends Day” in Engstingen, with Juergen & Guedrun Zeeh. I do have a lunch appointment with Tobias (who Matty stayed with last year,) so that will be fun.
  • Friday is a ‘rest’ day; I’ll be traveling to Engstingen via train about 4 p.m. & will spend the evening there with a planned celebration with lots of people from their church, as well as good food & drink. I’m greatly looking forward to it; it’ll be my first time there.
  • Saturday is “Friends Day,” a celebration at the Shelter Alb Foursquare Church – followed by lunch. In the later afternoon, I’m on another train to Baden-Baden to see Yoooooooouuuuuullllleeeeeeeeee-AHHHHHH! & her family. Good times WILL be had by all.
  • Sunday morning, I’ll be speaking at Julia’s church (the Arche Ottersweier, pastored by Roland & Manu Lorenz) then spending the afternoon with family & food. Did I mention food?
  • Monday, Julia & I will take a train towards Frankfurt; I get to stop off & meet (for lunch!) with Jan, the pastor of the enChristo Church in Mainz. He’s also the Foursquare Deutschland national leader, & I’m looking forward to talking & planning with him.
  • Finally, it’s back on the train to Frankfurt!

    • I’m not sure what my internet connection situation will be starting Friday afternoon, but at the very least, I will be blogging & posting upon my return to Frankfurt on Monday. Blessings to you, & thank you for your prayers.

Day 4 & 5 – Deutschland Fall 2010 – Conference

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DAY 4 –

Sunday began early with homemade biscuits & coffee. The biscuits were melt in your mouth flaky, & tasted absolutely heavenly coupled with Oma’s (grandma’s) apple marmalade. Goodness. I could get used to those.

Eddy & I headed over to the church for early morning prayer & fellowship – it was great to be able to see many familiar faces, but even better to see how many there were that I didn’t recognize… it’s a great thing to come back to TPLF after a 6 month break & see a living, growing, vibrant group of people gathered to grow in Christ. It’s a testimony to a good pastor & also to a people that are dedicated to reaching their friends, neighbors, & co-workers.

We worshiped, celebrated communion, & had some “good news” (testimonies) about what God is doing in peoples’ lives. It was a lot like being at Hillside, minus the comedy routine that theBean, Ben, & company usually do during the announcements. :)

I spoke on Philippians 3:17-4:1 – Paul’s call to the church to follow him (& others living like him) in their pursuit of growing in Christ, & in pressing on to the goal of maturity & fullness in Christ (Philippians 3:12-16 talks about that.) I was translated by Steve G (a native of England) & was thankful for his skill & flexibility to ‘enter into” the message with me as co-preacher. Cause it doesn’t matter what I say in English (or American – according to Steve, I speak American, which is definitely NOT the Queen’s English.)

After church & more fellowship, I was invited to a restaurant with Sam Clayton (& my goddaughter, Rebecca!) & Petra Lindner… We ended up going to “Koriander” – & ended up with… more pizza. (That makes 4 days in a row.) Initially, we were going to get Turkish doener, but the restaurant was too full. So pepperoni pizza (with pineapple) it was. Fortunately, its so different than pizza at home I’m not tired of it. Yet. Also, we ran into Martin & Sandra Mueller-Berg & I got a chance to firm up some plans to meet with them before the week was through.

Rested for a while at home, then Eddy, Steve, & I headed over to pick up Rene (the youth pastor) so we could head out to the Pastors’ conference. Its being held in a place about 20 minutes out of Frankfurt called “Bad Homburg” – got checked in & took the opportunity to greet people I knew as they trickled in from all over Germany. Had some great fun catching up with some people that I hadn’t seen in years, & also with Melanie, who was with us (& the Meredith’s) in Reno just a few weeks ago.

I enjoyed the enthusiastic worship time (with Melanie’s team from Mainz – she’s on keyboard in the picture) & then Jan (pastor from Mainz & the National Leader of Foursquare Deutschland,) took the time to invite all the people to come up who were attending the conference for the first time (one of my favorite things.)

Eddy was the speaker for the 1st night – talked from Philippians 2. What stood out to me was one line from an encounter with the LORD that he’d had: “I’ve already given you everything you need to do what I’ve called you to do. You are enough.” It made me think about home & Hillside – & the temptation that we can have to covet – the things (people, resources, etc.) that we don’t have &/or we think we need… You know what I mean, the “if only I had…” I felt very reassured in the “you are enough.”

Afterwards, we made our way to the café for a beer & fellowship – truly one of the best times about the conference where friendships begin & are deepened, & the sounds of deep belly laughs permeate the room. I had a chance to talk to a guy that hadn’t been at the Revolution seminar the day before, but that had a million questions about learning to rest. It was an awesome night.

We finally dragged off to the car for the ride home about 11:30 p.m., which meant a short night’s sleep. After a long weekend, its not the optimum way to kick off a week.

DAY 5

I dragged myself out of bed just in time to splash water on my face & get dressed. I must have looked as tired as I felt, because I was greeted over & over with, “Oh. You ok?” Coffee helped.

So did the message. The keynote speaker for the conference is Volker Heitz, a pastor from Bern, & the national leader from Foursquare Switzerland. He spoke this morning on discipleship, & 4 of the main areas he is looking at & looking for in people he’s working with inside his church & in the Swiss movement:

S – Servanthood

T – Teachability

A – Accountability

R – Repentance

Volker has spent a lot of time with Daniel Brown, & as Daniel has been very influential in my life, he was speaking my ‘language;” I feel that I was able to grasp quickly a lot of the things that was talking about.

If only I could keep my eyes open… I bribed Eddy with promises of undying love & devotion forever if he’d skip the afternoon session with me & take me home so I could take a nap. Fortunately, he also was “toast” & was more than willing to drive me home. As soon as I got in the door, I staggered to my room & crashed.

Next thing, I knew, it was 2 hours later, & I awoke feeling terrific, like a new man. We didn’t have to leave for a bit, so I went for a walk in the increasingly brisk early evening. Made my way over to the Penny Market to get some gum to combat the “I feel like licked the sidewalk” taste from my mouth. Mission accomplished.

Got home, & then Eddy & I drove back to the conference, arriving just in time for dinner. I got to sit with Stephen, a pastor from a town in the SE of Germany called Erlangen. TheBean & I sat with him & his wife Sylvia a couple years ago, & I hadn’t seen him since. Turns out he’d had a major motorcycle accident & it’d taken about 18 months for his recovery. It was wonderful to catch up with him, but even more to hear him talk about his city, church, & to see the very obvious love he has for both.

There are a couple other Americans at the conference, Ryan & Rebecca, a husband & wife from New York. They’re visiting with a church in Gau Algesheim, exploring the possibility of moving to Germany to be a part of what God is doing here. Makes me happy to hear this.

After dinner & before the service, I finally had a bit of free time to write this blog. Ahhh. Feels so relaxing to get the words out & to process through what’s in my head as I write.

I’m thankful for the opportunities I’ve had already to sit, listen, & talk with several people – real, meaningful talks. It reminds me of why I’m here, & makes me feel like the travel, tiredness, difficulties, & missing home is worth it. Hearing how many people/pastors feel lonely & disconnected makes me incredibly thankful for my friends, family, & Hillside church family. I am truly blessed.

This evening, we had an evening of praise & prayer – then hung out in the cafe again until it was deemed sufficiently late (12 midnight) then back to Eddy’s. Tomorrow is a new day.

fellowship…

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Thursdays might be my favorite work day. Not only is Thursday my ‘Friday,’ but most Thursdays during the lunch hour I get to have fellowship with a dear friend.

Yes.

Fellowship.

Now, The Fellowship of the Ring has a positive connotation.

Fellowship in the real world? Not so much.

Fellowship at church? Yikes.

Why? Because church hurts.

I’ve attended church almost weekly since I was 2-ish. When I hear the word ‘fellowship,’ think of being chided to “say hi to the person behind you,” pasting a grin on your face, turning around to see the back of the head of the person you’re supposed to greet.

I think of post-church service coffee time – kinda awkward standing around looking at the other friendly strangers in the room… giving thanks to the LORD on high for the Costco muffins on the table which allow you to stuff your mouth… thereby giving you a ‘pass’ on the whole interaction thing… getting by on the mumbled, “And how you doin’?” “Good!” “Oh great.” “See ya next week.”
The sigh of relief when you’d make it to the parking lot, to your car, & then HOME!

Church hurts.

It might be because we often experience underdeveloped, mostly surface-y relationships… which hurts because we talk so much about how deep & meaningful our relationships & fellowship are & ‘should’ be… & when we’re not experiencing that, it’s easy to get desperate, feel frustrated, & to become disillusioned.

It could be disappointment at unmet expectations. Our own (or others) extreme neediness. Unhealth, selfishness, & immaturity in our interactions with others.

Perhaps its the expectation that something of life-changing significance, true fellowship, will take place in a rushed, crowded environment where there’s literally 45 seconds to ‘talk’…

Or it could be that the time we were open & transparent with another, we experienced swift, sure judgment. Where someone (well-meaning or not), attempted to Fix Us. Apply a ready-made, black-and-white, one-size-fits-all church solution to our complex & often gray lives… Where someone’s ‘gift’ to us was their honesty. (If the truth doesn’t happen in love, is it really a gift? But I digress.)

Maybe we end up mistaking real fellowship with the underdeveloped & surface-y relationships… That’s not what fellowship is intended to be. Or what it CAN be. Its definitely not what is referred to in Acts 2:42:

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, & fellowship, to the breaking of bread, & the prayers…”

Fellowship (the Greek word “koinonia”) has a literal definition, but also one that is implied – the literal is… “joint participation; communion; sharing in anything; intimacy; community.” I believe that the implied definition would be along the lines of, “prioritized time & space shared with others around a common purpose, resulting in knowing & being known. Mutual encouragement that results in the growth, relationship, & development of all parties…

Which is why I love Thursdays. Lunch hour, we talk & listen… sharing trivialities & meaning of life stuff. Visit & revisit challenges, struggles, joys, & hopes. Wrestle through what God’s saying & doing in & around us. Close with a brief prayer.

I always come away encouraged. Refreshed. Strengthened. Feeling like I’ve grown & am growing in my relationship with God. Thankful to be living life with others – to know that they love me for who I am, & don’t try to fix me.

I know I don’t have it figured out, but I think that fellowship takes patience. Time. Commitment to the long-term. Willingness to grow. Care. Contending for authenticity. Risk. Be vulnerable. To listen. Release another from my need to pass (final) judgment. Encouragement, persistence, & a willingness to hope & want the best for another. Love that unconditionally extends self, embraces another, & trusts the work of God – the Holy Spirit, to do the transforming & fixing.

My life is richer because of fellowship.

Deutschland Travels, Spring 2010, Day #11 & 12

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In the evening, I headed over to TPLF for the meeting of the Twenz – aka ‘college group’, better known as the Flying Ducks. I have to confess, I was walking the Kurfuerstenstrasse, & smelled the doener from Bistro Sahin… & next thing I knew, I was inside, eating one. With a hot Turkish tea that hit the spot on the rain-soaked, chilly evening.

At the Ducks, we spent time in worship & then in talking through the difference between being a “believer” in Christ & being a “disciple,” using John 8:30-34 as our text. Got to meet several great people, most notably a bubbly, inquisitive, & really smart young lady, Aggi, who’s studying to be a teacher. She kept me on my toes with a series of probing questions throughout the message, each of which built on the previous one. Her developing understanding & the “a-HA!” glimmer that sparkled in her eyes as we processed as a group reminded me just WHY bible study & discussion groups are my favorite thing in the whole world.

After the meeting & before I made my way home to catch some much-needed sleep, Aggi asked me to pray for her: that she would make good marks on her final exams before becoming a teacher; that she’s be a blessing, a real blessing (her words) to her family & friends; & that she’d be able to walk. Aggi was born prematurely & had some areas of her motor development that don’t function right yet. And still, she’s hoping & contending for healing, to be able not to have to depend on her chair to get around. And even better, Aggi isn’t waiting around in solitude for this event – she’s actively living a great story that speaks to the power of God’s love in & through her life.

This morning, I woke up at about 5:30, thanking God for the early wakeup call. The mens’ breakfast for Kingdom Life Church started at 7, so after getting ready, Eddy & I walked over to TPLF. One of the many things I am appreciating about Eddy is that like me, he is a quiet person in the morning. All’s I can say is we are truly kindred spirits in this regard.

There was a great breakfast prepared, with lots of steaming hot coffee, which is just what I was praying for on the brisk walk. A parfait that would have made theBean proud was served, along with a great assortment of German breads. I spoke from Psalm 126 – talking about God’s restoration & living in the “middle” between sowing & reaping.

Got back to the Duecks & sorted through my bags in what has become a ‘preparing to come home’ routine. It’s where I take stock of what’s in my suitcase – folding what needs to be folded, separating dirty clothes, laying out my outfits for the next 2 days, making sure all is where it should be for the voyage home.

Today was also the day to get my manly (oh so manly,) shoulder bag that I shopped for yesterday. I jumped on the U-bahn to Hauptwache, & made my way to the “Street Culture” store… only to find that this was the only store in the downtown that didn’t open at 10. No worries. I’d wait. In waiting, I got hungry for 2nd breakfast (I am on a journey, so maybe some Hobbit-like tendencies are emerging,) so I stepped over to the McCafe next door for a coffee & chocolate croissant. Amazing.

Finally, the store next door opened & I literally stumbled in, absolutely nailed my right knee cap on a seemingly invisible bench that emerged out of nowhere. Goodness. Made my way upstairs & debated between the black, white, & grey bags… finally deciding on black with grey accents. (Not quite Raider-esque…) Take a look. I think it is quite the Manly shoulder bag.

This afternoon, I was invited to go to take a tour of Levent’s workplace. He works on the 22nd floor of the building, which provided for some great views of the surrounding area. We got to eat in the Cantina… I had a canneloni that tasted like Spaghetti-O’s. Which is a good thing. I absolutely loved the conveyor belt that took our dishes into the kitchen. We are in Germany, I keep reminding myself.

Eddy & I are now off to Gau Algesheim for dinner & also to hang out with theology school students, as well as many of the pastors from Foursquare Germany. We’ll be there for the evening, returning late tonight, where I’ll be hoping for some good sleep, as I have a full day of meetings tomorrow…

Deutschland Travels, Spring 2010, Day #7

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Woke up around 8:30 to the heavenly smell of coffee & homemade cinnamon rolls; Laura is an amazing cook. Just sayin. Evidently, I’ve taken to saying, “Tasty!” so often in response to our meals that Taylor (6) & Elliot (3) the Dueck’s 2 oldest boys, have started using the word as well. Now just to get Max (2) saying it too…

Sitting around the counter eating, the personalities of the 3 boys come out. Makes me think about how very unique the experience is to be growing up as a pastor’s kid… having people in your home all the time… with church days not just ‘going’ to church but ‘running’ it… I’m reflecting back on my own childhood, growing up ‘in the church,’ & also the experiences of my kids; wondering how & in what ways that has shaped their personalities & life outlook. Note to self.

Different service schedule today at TPLF: 1 song, then some announcements & ‘missions discussion’, followed by the speech – with the last 30 minutes or so being set aside for worship/response. The worship team was led by Kyong-he & Steve G… Kyong-he has got a voice that reminds me a lot of Kate Miner, & she is a very skillful & sensitive worship leader, in that you don’t ever really NOTICE her so much as simply FOLLOW her in worship through songs, spontaneous spoken praise, silence, & celebration. Steve is an Englishman living in Frankfurt, & is one of the funniest people I’ve ever met, with a quick wit & ready story. He’s also incredibly willing to help in whatever way he can, & is a great example of how someone with the gift of evangelism has integrated into the ebb & flow of life in & around TPLF.

Today is the last of a 4 week series on the mission of the church – it’s interesting to me to see that though many things have changed, including the pastor of TPLF, the mission statement hasn’t.

    -Living for Jesus
    -Living for each other
    -Living for Frankfurt
    -Living for Germany & the World

The text I spoke from was Acts 8:26-40, about Philip meeting the Ethiopian eunuch/treasurer on the desert road from Jerusalem to Gaza. If you’re interested in hearing it, you can try to find it here. What really stood out to me about that portion of scripture is that “living for the world…” doesn’t always mean having to go to the far corners of the earth (ironic, I know, as I am writing this from Frankfurt, about 5500 miles from home.) The story of Philip is an example where the world has come to him – & he (Philip) responds to the leading of the Holy Spirit in starting a conversation with a man seeking to know God, & in turn, touches & helps change an entire nation.

To me, it’s not about aiming for greatness, or trying to be significant, let alone famous… its being available to serve, to obey, to be lead in a simple way to do whatever God puts in front of me to do… whether I can see the “WHY” behind it or not. Obedience is better than sacrifice, & the real joy comes from gladly doing the will & purposes of God.

I really enjoyed having the worship/song/reflection portion at the end of the service – it gave a lot of time & possibility for listening & responding to the LORD… & also felt like a ‘good’ fit for the message & the day.

Its always great to be at TPLF & have the opportunity to renew the acquaintance of old friends, & to meet new people. Today was even better – my dear friend Anja came over from Mainz (about 25 miles away,) & Julia, the young woman from Aachen, Germany that lived with us for 6 months,) made the 2-hour trek by with her sister & a friend to be in the service. It’s hard to put into words the response that that kind of love evokes. What special & dear friends.

After church, several of us made our way to a restaurant just around the corner from TPLF – Koriander (formerly Zimt und Koriander – now under new ownership.) I think that they have great pizzas, so that’s what I got – a personal pepperoni & pineapple, complete with a dark Hefeweizen. Mmmm. That should get your mouth watering.

We walked from the restaurant, talking & catching up on the last few months – & navigated the short distance to Eddy & Laura’s house. They were having an ‘open house’ for any who wanted to come by & sample some of Laura’s baked goods & drink some tea or coffee. The house was filled with great smells, peals of laughter, & good talks. Aris & Steve had us all rolling with their witty repartee.

Too soon, it seemed, the afternoon flowed into the evening, & our friends had to make their way home, especially those that had traveled so far. It brought tears to my eyes to say goodbye to my friends, for whom I’m so thankful.

The family & I spent a quiet evening with a light supper (tasty!) & now the boys are in bed & I’m trying to catch up on the happenings of the day with news from home & Hillside. When I’m here in Frankfurt, I try to be “HERE”; while at the same time, I dearly miss my wife, my family, friends, & church family.