Tag Archives: Musings

Why Do Bad Things Happen…? #1

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For the last couple of months, I have been planning on teaching on the topic above at our Sunday, 3/30 – 9:15 Learning Community. I had no idea that we’d be experiencing tragedy, crushing loss, & this kind of pain so up close & personal within our church family.

“Why do bad things happen?” is a tough question – one that usually gets answered with one of the trite statements or religious cliches that are so infuriating to the people that they get bequeathed to. Things like:

  • Well, the Lord moves in mysterious ways…
  • God took (fill in the blank with a loved ones name) because He must have needed (loved one’s name) more than we did..
  • God is trying to teach us to depend on Him in hard times…

    My personal favorite, which was passed on to me by several well meaning people after my 17 year-old brother had died from non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, a cancer that starts out in the lymph system.

  • God must have known that your brother was going to fall into some terrible sin in the future, so He decided to take him now…

    Huh? What the fat? Are you serious?

    These & other statements have caused me to spend a lot of time pondering – to me, here’s what some of the above statements are saying:

  • Mysterious ways? What does this mean? That God is unpredictable & just might SNAP when we least expect it, killing loved ones in the process. “Sorry. My bad.”
  • God kills our loved ones because He “needed” them more than we do? Hmm. I read in the Bible that 2 people were ‘translated’ into heaven by God: Enoch & Elijah – He wanted them with Him, & He didn’t kill them to get them.
  • God is trying to teach us something by killing our loved ones? The lesson today will be “you need me.” I’m going to illustrate this by killing your brother.
  • God killed my brother in a preemptive strike to prevent his future falling into sin? Hmm. I had always thought that God dealt with our sin through the cross…

    God is good – & is predictably good – everything that we need to know about the person & nature of God is wrapped up in Christ Jesus – not just the “good” stuff. All of it. (Check out Colossians 1:19,20 & Colossians 2:9,10 He thinks good thoughts towards us, likes us (not only loves us,) & is dependably the same yesterday, today, & forever. We can rest assured that He is & will be our ever-present help in time of trouble, & is not the one capriciously causing our pain to drive us to Him.

    Next time – we’ll examine the cause of all things bad…

    • Easter musings, & a few other things…

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    Something changed in the way I think about Easter – I noticed it in my preparations for the speeching… Can’t quite put a finger on what the change was exactly, but I can describe the absence of something… no angst caused by approaching a familiar topic – at various times coming up on past Easters, I’ve had a tension in my gut, a feeling that I needed to have a good speech for the day, or a gooder speech than I would normally bring (it sounds silly when I read those last sentences to myself, but they’re staying in.) This time, not so much – it was a very simple preparation time – born out of some Bible reading at a time when I wasn’t even “ON” (translation – phishing or studying for speeching material…)

    Spent the afternoon with dear friends – great pizza, wings, & french dips – chocolate fondue, & a great Bordeaux. A fitting way to celebrate the Risen Christ.

    On that note, I had the most amazing realization – I am a musical kind of guy – goodness. Who’d a thunk it? Looking back, I should have known – My Fair Lady, the Sound of Music, & even Doctor Dolittle (Rex Harrison Version please) etc…

    Had an answer to prayer this week, specifically on the issue of pain I blogged about before… And I can see the glimmer of hope -not because the situation has changed, but probably because of my perspective. Approaching life with pessimism & realism can be such downers, esp. when it’s HOPE that is needed to carry the day. I’ll be revisiting that idea – that I need a HOPE infusion as a part of my Jesus life is a surety.

    I wish to be more proficient on the guitar – that I would be able to play with my fingers what I hear in my head.

    Last week, while in conversation with a friend, I heard him speak almost apologetically (ok, no almost about it, he was seriously qualifying…) about some nice things that he had. It wasn’t like he got them from any illegal or illicit activity – he was blessed – he bought a nice car – & a nice home. Had some disposable income. And felt like when talking to me (& others) that he needed to give a disclaimer as though a Christ-follower shouldn’t have nice stuff. He’s definitely not the guy that is trying to get people to sow their “RESURRECTION SEED into his MIHN-uss-tree” – not a charlatan – but it was still there. I’ll have to ponder that.

    Hangin’ w/Mr. C

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    This last weekend, the Bean & I had a conference that we attended at the Embassy Suites in SLTahoe – very nice room, great breakfast buffet, hot coffee that tasted like… coffee. And hanging out with a hero of mine – Jerry Cook. He’s a guy in his late 60s that has pastored for many years, & is the author of a couple of my alltime favorite reads, books that have played a large part in how I see what it means to live out the life of a Christ-follower – & especially within the organism called “Church.”

    One of those books is called Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness & it speaks about the church being a place where each of those words is a lived out character trait, extended to people… seems simple enough, almost worthy of a “duh!” Of course that’s what church should be about… but its often not the case, because we (yes, that’s me owning my share of being the Church) have times where we end up living out something radically different, & something that I believe is a different gospel than the one Jesus modeled.

    Somehow, someway, to extend love is interpreted as being soft on the sin that has often brought people to the place where they are. Acceptance is seen as weak & tolerant (in the swear word version of tolerant,) & forgiveness is extending ‘sloppy’ grace to people so they’ll stick around the church…

    I love how Mr. C explained & then defined ‘his version’ of Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness – & how each one embodies the mission of the Christ-follower, & also allowed Jesus to be at home, be Himself in any & every situation, regardless of who He was hanging around with. Every word needs a definition by the way – because they’re carrying all kinds of weight & meaning around in all of our heads – so, to help us grasp it, he defined the words, then gave examples of what he sees that Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness are NOT.

  • Love isn’t License – to give permission &/or encourage people to live w/o restraint or regard for righteousness
  • Acceptance isn’t Agreement – insisting on harmony or congruence of opinion in all areas
  • Forgiveness isn’t Compromise- making shameful or dishonorable concessions

    He said a lot more than that, but I really camped out on Acceptance & Agreement… extending acceptance, lived out, is embracing others w/o the condition of holding the same belief, opinion, or set of values. It’s how Jesus could hang w/sinners w/o feeling threatened that He would become like them…He was confident in Himself & His own identity & looked at others in the way God looks at them. Many of the religious leaders of Jesus’ day had a severe issue w/Jesus because they couldn’t & didn’t make the distinction between Accepting someone & Agreeing with them. More on that another time…

    Other blog topics that will emerge soon:

  • People pleasing…
  • Ruminations on: “How I had a great & inspiring weekend w/Mr. C, while at the same weekend the Bean came away down in a hole…”
  • Bullies…
  • Recess…

    Thanks for playing along & reading all the way through…

    • stubbornness as a character trait (or flaw)…

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    Thursday, the Bean went in to the friendly neighborhood Cingular/ATT store in order to get an issue with Pasty’s phone taken care of… at least that’s the main reason. She happened to come out with a brand spanking new celly from Palm. Since we’re on the same plan, I was surprised to hear that she had been able to upgrade her now old phone already, as its usually at least 24 months between ‘free’ upgrades. (Don’t get me started.) BTW: it’s a Palm Centro that has just joined the family.

    Seems that the local neighborhood ATT guy helped her get around the little “24 month til you can upgrade for free” by using one of the other lines on the account that WAS NEWLY ELIGIBLE for the upgrade to get her a new phone for just $***, (after the 356 month rebate, of course.) Guess who’s newly eligible line was appropriated? If you guess anyone other than me, you’d be wrong.

    So what’s the rub? It’s not like I was looking to get a new phone – though I was enjoying my status of being “out of contract.” I have found ATT to be very willing to negotiate group rate & feature prices, as well as offering free stuff, good phone upgrades etc in order to “woo” you into signing over your life for Yet Another 24 month period of time.

    The catch in this process came when i was on my way home to the little woman, & thought I’d bless her with a warning call – one of those, “Hi Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes…” calls. My line went directly to ATT Customer Service where I was told that in order to use my phone, & as a part of the upgrade that I had just received, I would need to agree to surrender my long-awaited “out of service” status to be once again, enslaved by the corporate giant that is ATT. And, until I did, my phone privileges were suspended.

    I arrived home to find only Cubby (the nickname I’ve given to the 13 year old after a recent bout of In-School Discipline for something that Wasn’t His Fault.) I used Cubby’s phone to call ATT & talk to a live person. 2 different people took 30 minutes to describe the WHY behind my line suspension. Why MY line suspension? Because “i” had recently upgraded my phone. I tried to explain that no, I hadn’t upgraded my phone, but someone in their retail store had pulled a switcheroo. As you can probably imagine, they don’t care.

    So now – I have a cell phone that is suspended until I agree to the 24 month contract extension. And, to me, it makes perfect sense that I will not agree to that contract extension. On principle.

    If you’ve tried to reach me by cell, it’s not that I am “not taking calls” as the nice lady with the psycho-recording voice stated – its that unbeknownst to me, my right to freedom from a celly contract was violated in the name of getting the Bean an upgraded phone. And my line is suspended until I do agree. Which might be a while…

    contemplation ahead…

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    TheMoses & I are planning a retreat…

    For the last year or so, we’ve been talking about going to a place together where we can disconnect from the regular & get away for some contemplation… (in the vein of the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality book by Scazzero.

    After lots of searching, I found a place that is relatively clost to where we are, Vina, California. In early April, we’re off to New Clairveaux for about 3 days. It’s a Trappist monastery that allows individuals & small groups (up to 3 at a time) to come to their site for rest, personal enrichment, silence, etc.

    A bonus is that the monks support themselves by making vino – you can find out more about that HERE.

    I’m not sure what to expect, other than some quiet personal reflective time, & also some bonding time with TheMoses.

    how long…?

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    I’ve got 5 U2 songs that I rotate through as my “favorite.” The one that is currently at the top is “40” – which is taken from Psalm 40, & combined with some selections from a few others of David’s writings.

    40
    I waited patiently for the Lord
    He inclined and heard my cry
    He brought me up out of the pit
    Out of the miry clay

    He set my feet upon a Rock
    He made my footsteps firm
    Many will see, many will see and fear

    And I will sing, sing a new song
    I will sing, sing a new song

    How long to sing this song?
    How long to sing this song?
    How long, how long, how long
    To sing this song?

    I am thankful for Christ’s rescuing me from sin – for deliverance from the miry clay… & at the same time, I am also resonating with the “how long” part of the song (the Bridge, perhaps?)

    Maybe its because I’m painfully aware that there are so many areas of me that need transformation… maybe because I’m weary, & wondering “how long” I’ll struggle with the same things I struggle with. Pondering…

    …a temper that flares & raises the volume… frustration with broken relationships, past & present… wondering when my kids grew up… disappointment from being let down. Again… how easy selfishness steals focus… playing politics, using God as a chess piece… people that walk on eggshells… being understood… getting some rest.

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    never give up… never surrender…

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    Woody Allen is credited with the quote:

    80% of life is just showing up…

    Don’t know that that quote is accurate – or whether he said “80% of success” or “80% of life” as I found both quotes represented & attributed to him. By him. But I digress.

    The events of a life surrounded by people lead me to ponder – – many people don’t show up. And/or they don’t follow through. Why?

    Maybe its a fear of failure that causes them to disqualify themselves or remove themselves from the process they’re in, in advance. Not measuring up. Being rejected.

    Perhaps its just a symptom – not showing up is just the result of someone that never intended to show up in the first place, but that didn’t have the wherewithal or the fortitude to say so on the front end – (a by product of “fear of man” aka – people pleasing. Meaning – I’ll commit to do, try, be a part of something though I have no intention of following through, because I don’t know how to tell you no… And it will be so much easier on the other side of this if I just make an excuse as why I couldn’t make it…”)

    I subscribe to the belief that life is a process – & one of the things that keeps me going when everything in me wants to quit, roll up in a ball in my darkened closet with the door shut, & hide behind my pile of old sweatshirts is the encouragement of Galatians 6 –

    Those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time.

    And so I will keep going. I will show up. I will follow through. And if for some reason I don’t, & I fall down, I will get back up, dust off, & keep going.

    template-ing

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    My template is on the move… away from the coffee theme… I liked the coffee cup… but its html was ragged, & left quite a bit to be desired. In searching, I thought this one was worth a test drive, & that the flames match the shirt I got from Earl W. Nash for my berf-day. Not that I think I’m all hard-core or anything like that.

    Feeling a bit more introspective than usual – might be because its a day off, & that gives my brain the opportunity to bounce things around without being obscured by The Task at Hand.

    Hmmm. And double sigh.

    Ringing it in…

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    What does that mean? To “Ring in” the New Year? Does one need a bell to “Ring it in?” Hmm.

    Reminds me of a time, two or ten that I spent “praying in” the New Year – the splanation being that it was a great way to start the year off. Perhaps, but it always felt contrived & forced to make the prayer happen, esp. if/when it required getting others to shut up from their deep ‘meaning of life’ conversations that they were having, & making them stop their games, loud happy interactions in order to join the somber prayer group (usually a circle) that would take turns trying to out “our Father,” each other. I tried so hard to make God happy… & to do what I thought a good Christian should do…

    Looking back, I have regrets – I know that everyone does, but mine usually center on:

  • -things I’ve done that kept me at a distance from really knowing God, & from being myself
  • -things I’ve done, regardless of how well meaning I was, that ended up putting blockades between people being able to see Jesus as He is, replacing Him instead with religious verbiage, activities, & the like… I work hard & try intentionally not to do that…
  • -my relationship with my family – esp. my brother Moe – my talking too much, listening too little, & trying to make life & relationships fit into nice boxes. That one keeps me awake at night.
  • -pain caused to the Bean because of my desire (need? control issues?) to work my way into peace…

    I pray for the redemption of relationship with Moe – & that those that I violated, tripped up, put an obstacle course in front of would find their way through all the junk to the Real Thing that is the Word.

    • A Revolution of the Soul, end of 2007 reprise…

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    I’m learning to “BE.” As in “BE-ing” vs. “DO-ing,” doing meaning taking my sense of worth & value from accomplishments, a busy schedule, moving at a frenetic, production-mode pace.

    I haven’t gotten it down, & don’t know that I’ll ever hit the mark 100%, all the time. But I’m finding it easier & more natural to “BE,” & I think it is my preferable state.

    Over the last 18 months, I’ve been logging my journey (& our church family’s as well) into BE-ing through notes, a journal, a blog or 3, & a growing collection (library?) of audio/mp3/podcast files. I’m in the process (at month 4 as of today) of turning my/our journey, my notes, journal/blogs etc into a somewhat cohesive story. I’ve not done something of this scope before, though my HISTORY 300 (Historical Methods, Research, & Writing,) is coming in Oh So Handy.

    Hooray. I’ll let you know how it goes.