something I came across this morning while waiting for lunchtime to get here…

Posted on by

This morning, I came across these Survey results… I’m a sucker for surveys – even more for stuff having to do with God & church & stuff…

For “Unchurched” People – top reasons for choosing a church are:

  • Pastor/the preaching
  • Doctrine
  • Friendliness of others

    For “Church Attenders” – top reasons are:

  • Doctrine/theology
  • People caring for each other
  • Preaching

    What keeps previously “Unchurched” people in a church?

  • Involvement
  • Sunday School (Kids program)
  • Obedience to God

    The survey wrangler sums it the findings by saying that the doctrine, pastor, friendliness of people, & the fellowship are the most important things, across the board…

    What do you think? What has made you choose/unchoose your church?

    The things that most surprised me from the survey was that the bottom two responses under the “Why do unchurched people choose a church?” were “Worship Style/Music” & “Location.” I guess I’m surprised because most of the prevailing ideas I’ve been exposed to within the church (see the little ‘c’) & in the stream of church would have emphasized both of these… with the Worship Style/Music being at or near the top.

    Makes me wonder – are these ‘prevailing ideas’ (& I’m using those words from now on with ‘quotes’ around them,) just figments in the imaginations of people who are responsible for worship in these churches over-estimating the importance & significance of that part of the church service? Like somehow the music part is a ‘make or break’ item… & because I have my own issues, preferences & involvement, somehow, someway I drank the Kool-aid (or at least was exposed to the Purple Drank) to think that the worship style/music would be more important to others.

    Maybe its that people are more concerned with relationships – being accepted & connecting… along with being able to understand & identify with the teaching… & that its not heretical. Or maybe its just these respondents…

    For me, I’ve never chosen a church to go to really – I’ve always wanted to, but church has usually been something that has chosen me… if that makes any sense.

    Over the years, theBean & I have visited a couple of churches in town – not so much to ‘check them out’ but just to go “BE” somewhere anonymously. I’d like to pretend that I didn’t care that people didn’t talk to me (& I even had my “Hi, I’m really trying” face on.) Or that we seemed to (felt like?) we/I? stood out like sore thumbs… thumbs that seemed to have very interesting people all around & behind them… it must have been, because everyone I/we walked by seemed to be on their way to talk with those around us.

    I haven’t really thought about those “visiting other places” experiences for a long time, probably because we haven’t been ‘out & about’ for a while… but reading the survey & thinking about looking for a church stirred up all kinds of thoughts & feelings… emotions even. Maybe I’ll write a bit about that later…

    • cleaning the freezer & other musings on a Monday…

    Posted on by


    I’m not pregnant, but I’m nesting. Went through the pantry with theBean. Swept it. Through away stuff with shelf life that ended in 2007. Truly.

    Went through the refrigerator. Ditto. Found a milk carton, (MILK!) that expired in December 2008. Ouch. Never even saw it. Found some food that Julia made. (Yes the Julia that went back to Deutschland in February…) Nice. (NOTE: This doesn’t reflect on anyone’s personal cleaning habits… it’s just a blog, man.)

    Today, I decided to tackle the freezer, since theBean was headed for Shift #2 on the day. Went through the freeze-dried foods, the unwrapped icy-treats, & other stuff that one finds in the freezer. Then, I came across some Drumsticks. You know, that incredible tasty ice-cream treat that sits on a sugar cone, covered with quik-dry chocolate & peanuts?

    Well, what I found were the ‘heads’ of the drumsticks. Turns out, the cones had all be eaten, & some kind soul had placed the drumstick heads back into the freezer for anyone that might want the leftovers.

    So I did what anyone would do. I ate the chocolate off the ice-cream & put them back in the freezer. Silly us. :)

    Went to the Hand Dr. for I-Doey. Got the stitches out. Looks good – like he’ll be able to start in with his summer weights & football stuff tomorrow – just no contact drills for the next 3 weeks, at which time more X-Rays will be taken to check on the progress of young I-Doey’s finger.

    We’re hoping, praying & believing for a complete recovery, without any of the finger-hypersensitivity that the Dr. said might be a possibility. Here’s to healing. Woohoo!

    According to my 2 oldest children, I may be showing signs of getting smarter. Or at least being smarter than they thought I was. I will update you on any more progress I make.

    I’m ecstatic – the book re-release that I’ve been waiting for is finally here… Jerry Cook’s classic, Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness: Being Christian in a Non-Christian World came out last week. This has been one of the books that has most formed my outlook on life, the Church, & my view of God.

    If you have never read it, by all means, get a copy & do so. If you have, get the re-release today. It is the classic you remember that has been brought up to date & made even better… its even got a ‘study guide’ included in the back.

    On my second reading of the re-release today. :)

    Thinking about how thankful I am that the Bible doesn’t need to be updated.

    I believe that we’re on the brink of something large. A fundamental shift in the way we live, work together, & carry out life. Not trying to come up with the Next Big Thing, but rather trying to cooperate with what I believe are the doors that are opening in front of us.

    New ways of doing my job – new roles, with other things not happening any more. Trusting that God has provided & will provide for what comes next. Thankful I don’t have to have all the answers, but just do my part. And encourage others to do the same. Wherever they are. Cryptic enough?

    I think I’ll go eat some more chocolate off the Drumstick heads.

    The co-opting of my day off & other musings…

    Posted on by

    Yesterday I found out that today, Friday, was being treated as a ‘holiday’… the 4th of July holiday. Mostly because the 4th falls on a Saturday this year. I guess people felt gipped by having a holiday on a day that many already have off. So, Friday becomes the holiday.

    Normally this wouldn’t be a surprise to me – on account of the fact that I usually pay attention a little better to the world going on around me… I’m not going to say it was the busy news week. Or a particularly busy time for me. I just missed it.

    I’m off on Fridays anyway, so I celebrated my day off with more people than usual.

    Hmmm. Makes me wonder. Do I feel gipped for having my day off co-opted by the “No Holiday On The Weekend” crew? Would an appropriate response for me have been to take Thursday off, so my regular day off, Friday, could have been spent as a Holiday day-off instead of as a regular day off? Or, since its too late for that, what about Monday?

    Silly me…

    Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged

    musings on the 1st of July

    Posted on by

    Let’s just say that I’ve been a bit… deliberate in my blogging the last few weeks… meaning, its been slow. Not because there’s nothing to blog about, (because, really, has that ever stopped me before,) but rather because I’m processing in my head. And I’m back, with an intent to bring the cheese.

    Today is anniversary #20 of my marriage to theBean. When I think back through all the little ‘coincidences’ that led to us connecting that 3rd week of June, 1988, it boggles my mind. Perhaps I’ll spend a little time revisiting the birth of our adventure.

    I’m not much of a Destiny believer (meaning: there’s 1 person out there for me & Destiny will bring us to-gev-uh…) which automatically identifies me as a “chick-flick hater” (not true: I’ll watch ’em. Just don’t buy into ’em.) And as a “non-romantic” (also not true: I may not be the Dr. of Love, but I have been known to be able to romance, wine, & dine my girl…)

    However, there were more than a few ‘what if’s’ that had to come together – when I was reminiscing about that with theBean, I asked her, “How could I get so lucky that you would love ME?” She said, “Hmm. Good question. You must’ve just been in the right place at the right time…” With a smile.

    I was thinking about my life, & wondering if I would enjoy it if my job had a “summer break” – like my 3 kids do. Sometimes, the loads of free time, lounging around, doing whatever, whenever, however seems attractive. And then I realize that one of life’s great joys is the ability to do something with purpose…

    Mind you, I’m not talking about deriving my worth from work; instead, its knowing that my life matters. Being able to put my hands to something, to give my all & do my best plays a role in the feeling of contentment. I’ve been reading through Ecclesiastes & found something that sums that up for me:

    Here is what I have seen to be and fitting: to eat, to drink, & enjoy oneself in all one’s labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward…Ecclesiastes 5:18 NASB

    Perhaps the doldrums, depression, & discontent come from not having something to apply one’s hands to? Not just a job, but a place to volunteer, help out, give of oneself. Hmmm.

    Just booked my time at CSR for the 3rd week of August. Me & theBean spent some time there last year & it was life-changing. If you’d like to reminisce (I know I did!) you can check out the posts from last August HERE

    Current reading list:

  • Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness – the re-release by Jerry Cook. Sweet. It just came out, & I can’t put it down.
  • Mother Kirk – by Douglas Wilson – a study in practical ecclesiology (the study of church doctrine,) in the reformed tradition… Hmmm.
  • The Mishnah – though I’m using it more as a resource & research book rather than reading through it cover to cover…
  • Emotionally Healthy Spirituality – Peter Scazzero – revisiting this in advance of my solo August journey to CSR…

    Time to go work out. Then home to shower, put on my foo-foo clothes, & out to dinner (which will be, most likely a slab of beef,) with my One, myBean, the love of my life, mother of my children, most B-E-A-Utiful woman in the entire world…

    Sigh.

    • whew…

    Posted on by

    I was at my 14 year old son’s baseball game, City Tournament don’t you know, reading, waiting for it to start. All the players were running through their warmups, taking groundballs, playing soft-toss, the usual preliminaries…

    I was jerked from my book world with the calling of my name. My son was walking towards me, holding his right hand with his left, gingerly… like when he was small & had an owie… I (calmly) ran over to him to see what was up – well, it turns out that what was up was he had taken a bad hop grounder off of the tip of his middle finger… and it was bleeding…

    Upon closer examination & in conferring with one of his coaches, I could see that his fingernail was sitting at a 45 degree angle… & that there seemed to be something wrong with the end of his finger… but we couldn’t see it through the blood.

    I’m solo at the game, glad I’m there, but now wrestling with the fact that now I have to parent, & to make tough decisions. No panic. Banish worry. Be calm. Pray for peace.

    We have to go to the ER, just in case this is more than just a busted nail. Which hospital?

    My mind raced… called our insurance carrier in the car… driving towards the nearest hospital with a hope that I wouldn’t have to pass it by & go somewhere else. Didn’t. Hoped for an empty waiting room. Yes.

    Went through triage, (can’t see anything because of the blood,) & saw a doctor within 1 hour (a personal record for me & mine for ER trips.) X-rays. Answers.

    The tip of the finger is broken off (open distal phalanx fracture) & bone is protruding from the fingertip, through the flesh. Dr. wants a game plan.

    Clean it. Stitches. Reset. Split. More Xrays.

    Everything went according to the game plan. Thank you Jesus.

    Next up, due to the severity of the break, we’re off to a hand specialist to see if surgery will be required to repair the finger. Unknown.

    Today, I sit at my desk, a card table in my room really, & ponder the thoughts that flood my mind, & fight for attention. The feeling of powerlessness that washes over me watching my son in pain, lots of pain. Worry about the unknown: will it heal right? WIll he need surgery? What will it cost?

    I think back upon the ride over to the game, where we prayed for him for peace. Confidence. Strength. Thinking it was for the baseball game. Revisiting the hours in the ER where he recalled our prayer & laughed at the irony of how our evening ended up, & that the answers to prayer looked a lot different than him trying to hit a baseball.

    Facing my own fears. Inadequacies. Powerlessness. But not living or acting out according to how I feel or how things seem to be… rather, trusting & choosing to trust that God is in control, & is near. Not that He’s ever far, but the sense of His being “WITH” us is tangible.

    Surprises…

    Posted on by

    There’s lots of things in the world that I don’t understand. I’ve just found another one.

    Yesterday, a priority mail package arrived. Looked like something I’d get from Amazon if I’d ordered a book… but this was from ATT. Hmm. Wonder what they could be sending?

    After opening the package, I discovered 3 things:

  • Turns out, due to a glitch in the ATT computer billing system, 1 member of our family has had their phone bill separated from the rest of the “ATT Family Plan”

  • This is I-Doey’s bill, covering his phone line. It is 262 pages long.

  • It has 14,114 reasons why we chose to go with the ‘unlimited texting’ plan. 14,114. Texts. 1 person. 1 month. Or, 470 per day.

    • Truly, right now, I have no response.

    Posted on by

    One of my favorite breakfast places is the Squeeze In. It offers all the usuals for breakfast, the biggest omelette menu selection I’ve ever seen, & lunch stuff too. Lately, I’ve been looking for excuses to eat there, & my recent favorite is a #7 – 3 eggs, double bacon, all the cheeses, & nacho cheese on top. Yum.

    Its a locally owned restaurant, with a laid back feel – so laid back that they not only permit but encourage people to write on the walls.

    This Sunday, I was downing my #7, & I heard a conversation going on at the table behind me – a conversation about church. This kinda stuff always catches my ear, & I love to hear what people are saying, talking about, processing on the topic of church… especially when I can do it incognito.

    Let’s just say that the couple at the table must have had a bad experience or 10 – but their summation was that they were SO glad that they hadn’t “wasted” their day at church, but instead had “Squeezed In”… They shared their thoughts with the waitress, & before they left, wrote on the wall. After they vacated their table, I went over & took a picture of what they’d written: (see the picture at right – “Omelettes are better than church.”)

    Made me sad. Made me wonder the specifics of their situation. What they’d endured, suffered, &/or caused… If it was the result of a drive-by, a big blow-up, or a long-term fizzle…

    Led to lots of thoughts about faith -& about growing up, putting it into practice. Thoughts about “faith sabotage” – something that is done to ourselves or done by another, undermining a foundation. The role of discouragement, frustration, fear & lies in the undermining of faith. Boring church meetings, spoken in a language that makes the goings on of the day inaccessible to beginners &/or the uninitiated…

    Sigh.

    weathering…

    Posted on by

    With it raining just about every afternoon & evening, coupled with the 5 nights/week of sporting events, we have had ample opportunity to experience the extremes in weather.

    One night this week, our team, (sponsored by Armor Plate Ink,) had a softball game – it was pouring, raining horizontally (thank you Nevada wind!) But it wasn’t sooo bad. The grass got soaked (as did we,) the softballs were slick with the water, the dirt infield became just a bit muddy… but we were able to play on & make it through all 6 1/2 innings of the game. The storm was a good one, but we were able to play through it.

    Another night this week, thePastyOne was out at Mackay Stadium for UNR football camp with his team. And it was raining. When I say raining, what I mean is that more water was coming down from the sky at one time than I have ever seen in my whole life (& I was in a hurricane in Georgia in 1994). The magnitude & scope of the storm was such that they actually stopped the practice/scrimmaging & cancelled for the evening. There had been some debate about trying to tough it out & play through the mess, but the combination of thunder & lightning (very, very frightening?) made the decision to cancel an easy one.

    I love the rain. Don’t go away for long…

    rain down…

    Posted on by

    I was talking to the kids yesterday during our most recent downpour… just soaking in (literally) the smell of the rain, which is one of my favorite smells in the whole world (next to the purple meets cotton candy fragrance that theBean wears.) One of them said, “Dad, all this rain isn’t NORMAL, is it?”

    Thought about it for a minute & answered: “Nope. But I’m not complaining. Let’s enjoy it while its here…” And we are.

    Made it to & through Convention/Connection unscathed. Convicted. Challenged. Loved by friends & fam. Blessed with a surprise trip to Disneyland, my favorite place to go ever (right next to minor-league baseball parks…) But unscathed. Maybe a little larger in the soul. I’m believing for it.

    Just passed the time of year when I’d normally be in Frankfurt for my Spring visit to our sister church – this year’s visit will have to wait until November. I’m missing friends.

    Don’t know if its all the sitting last week that aggravated a stiff back, or something else… but I’ve been having intermittent back spasms up & down since last Friday. No buono… Which is why I go see Dr. G, & then things feel better. Less twisty, that’s for sure.

    I don’t have a map. Or a blueprint. Lost them a few years ago, back in the days when I was a lot smarter than I am now, & knew what I was going to do & how I was going to do it. Got reminded of that last week.

    By the way… don’t tell my 3 kids – It only looks like I’m winging this whole “dad” thing because… I am.

    Jesus! Help me!

    In the next few days, I’ll be painting over a mural that has got painted in my office in April 2000. Its time for change. I’m thinking a Tolkien theme. Or at least, I am going to hang my now homeless (room-less?) LOTR posters… because they can’t stay where they are now. Sorry Frodo. Sam. Strider. But now you get to be with me in my office.

    Either my feet are growing, or my shoes are shrinking.

    I ate at The Cheesecake Factory 4 times while in Anaheim. Man, I can get used to that place, esp. the Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake. I dreamt about it last night. Truly.

    On that note, I heard a rumor that the Reno/Sparks area (Scheels) will get one of those if the shops in the area can boost their annual sales to Cheesecake Factory standards. Oh please, oh please.

    Reading through my Complete Jewish Bible, musing through Mishlei/Proverbs, pondering 17:17

    A friend shows his friendship at all times – it is for adversity that {such} a brother is born.

    The longer I live, the more I realize my need for friends – real friends who will stick with me, through thick & thin, in spite of my issues, who love me enough to tell me the truth & not just blow smoke…

    love

    Posted on by

    This afternoon theWeez & I are headed to Anaheim for our denominations convention – its an all week-er. My preparations for the trip have involved not only the usual packing issues like: “how small of a suitcase can I get away with packing in?” & “do I really need that many shirts?” but have also involved more introspection & self-examination than even I’m used to.

    Sometimes people bug me – situations bug me – church people who can & do only talk about church bug me… going to convention provides opportunity to spend ample time doing all 3 of those things… & I want to have as little time around the source & cause of my supposed issues as possible.

    And then in the middle of my 2nd pot of coffee, I realize that I need love…to freely give it the way I’ve received it. To see people as God sees them, not through jaded & selfish eyes. Not in the Bud-Light “I love you man” way either – but to love, authentically, consistently, & without measure.

    So that’s my prayer for today – LORD, fill me with your love. New eyes. Not focused just on me.