Picture from Johnny's Senior night...
Merry Christmas… from my family to yours…
What was THAT? & other musings on a Tuesday…
Left the office a little early today to run some errands only to find… snow. Flakes the size of KAN-tuck-ee. I did what anyone else would do in that situation: I checked my Weather Channel app on my iPhone. It confirmed what I already knew; there was no snow. Except that there was. Checked the hourly forecast. No snow. The weekly forecast. No snow. Actually said 0% chance of snow.
Except that there was. Sigh.
Made it home, only to find… blue skies. Silly skies. Goodness. What WAS that?
I’m hungry. Looking back, I forgot to eat breakfast & lunch. Oops. Sort of missed them, probably due to the filling affect that coffee brings with it. Only had 2 cups today, but they were very well placed cups.
What to eat? I can visualize dinner right now – chili, topped with processed Con Queso… using salami as a spoon to scoop it out. Ah, yes. I think that would be great. Now only if I had a personal chef to make it for me. Because cooking chili would take at LEAST 3 minutes. Then a thought hits me. Con Queso. Spanish for “With Cheese.” With cheese? As opposed to… what? I don’t even want to read the ingredients. Bet its not organic. :)
Reading a fictional book a friend lent me, based upon another non-fiction book. So far, so good.
My theBean is at work. Tuesday & Wednesday are Doubles: a lunch & a dinner shift. That means they’re the longest days of the week for me. She works hard. Sometimes I like to go in to her restaurant, sit in the lounge & watch her do her thing. So gifted, such an eye for detail. Very pleasant in all of her interactions with others, something I’m still trying to learn. Love that girl.
Listening to PFR. I could listen to Great Lengths over & over. As a matter of fact, I AM listening to it over & over. Feels a little like a binge.
Of all the emotions that, when unleashed & given full vent, are most destructive, jealousy, born from discontent, has to be at/near the top. Man, it’s ugly & doesn’t play well with others. It undermines, whines, cries out in immaturity for self-fulfillment, but ironically is never satisfied.
Teach me LORD to be content in any & every situation.
Went to the gym to show a couple of buddies the way of the Kettlebell. Pretty soon, the gym is going to have to get another set to keep up with the demand. They can thank me later. :)
Prepping for Christmas Eve service & a Christmas Eve message used to be something I dreaded – mostly because I felt like I needed to come up with something Clever. Unique. Special. Different. And the longer I’d been around & attended church Christmas services, the more daunting ‘my Task’ became.
Then a couple Eve’s back, it hit me. Christmas isn’t about me. Being Clever. Unique. Special. Different. Christmas is about Christ, & the Good News of Great Joy for EVERYONE. And I get to be a part of telling that news. Silly me, making it so hard, when in reality its the easiest & best story ever.
Verdict is in: Chili. With Con Queso. Yes.
there’s something in my eye…
I’ve been crying a lot. A LOT. Almost at the proverbial “drop of a hat.” Watching my iDoey & Reed High School’s presentation of “White Christmas.” Drinking coffee & thinking of friends. Eating breakfast. (It was a really good egg & sausage burrito.) Playing with my niece Ellie G.
Not sure why this is happening, though I think that I’ve traced the beginning to being in Germany a couple weeks back… I remember feeling overwhelmed & overcome with thankfulness, sitting around the dinner table with Shawn, Matt, & a couple of Russian/Kazakh pastors, wrestling through a couple layers of a language barrier, sharing good food & drink, lots of laughs, & the commonality of relationship with Christ. This commonality makes the most daunting cultural, language, social barrier seem like a mere crack in the floor compared to knowing & being known by Jesus Christ, Lord & Savior. It causes the most cynical part of me, the part scarred & marred by religion, religious-ness, & religiousity to be able to truly speak the words “brother” & “sister…” to the people at my table. And mean it. These words, too seemingly steeped in christian-ese to be able to be spoken except in sarcastic jest, rolled off of my lips as I embraced & was embraced by these precious men & women.
I remember being struck at how truly blessed I am. With theBean. My Pasty. iDoey. theWeez. My family. Friends – real friends.. God’s faithful provision. A church family. A job. Countless resources.
Now it seems I am seeing beauty in things & people that before I may not even have taken notice of a month ago. And its everywhere. And it is TRULY a wonderful life.
Ellie came into my office & saw me crying today – she’s 2, an age where crying only means sad. She ran out into the main office area declaring, “Tay-tay’s CRYing! Tay-tay’s CRYing!” Her mom said, “Ellie! Tay-tay needs a hug!” The precious little one came running back in & lifted up her arms: “Tay-tay! Up!”
I swooped her into my arms & she squeezed me around the neck for what seemed like an hour. Then, she patted me on the back gently, & lovingly said, “It’s ok Tay-tay.” She grabbed my face, looked into my eyes, & yelled, “Tay-tay! DOWN!”
Thoughts while traveling in “the Freezing Fog…”
I was up early this morning, & out in the 5 o’clock hour. Not just for fun, but so that I could get to the hospital to wait with a friend for her husband to get out of surgery. It’s normally a 15 minute drive, so I gave myself 30 minutes for travel, parking, & navigation of the maze that the hospital has become due to New Construction. Plenty of time.
Hadn’t planned for “The Freezing Fog,” which is what the guy on the radio said that Reno was experiencing. Visibility wasn’t bad… I drove Vista to I-80 with no trouble; however, when I tried to take the 395-S exit, & came to just about a dead stop. Baaarreeeellyyy moving. Inching along. Sigh.
Changed the radio station, & the Voice said that travelers should try to avoid 395-S & the Mill Street exit. Which is where I was headed. Too late. Bummer.
The unforeseen ‘down-time’ in the car left ample time for thinking – it was way too early to have the radio on… I think its because loud noises in the morning push my buttons & grate on me. So instead, I thought…
What came to mind was a series of interactions that I’d had over the last week; blunted ‘discussions’ really, marked with misunderstandings. Assumptions. Over-reactions. Defensiveness. Low-blood-sugar responses.
In the quiet of the car, & the stillness (my car included,) things I’d said & done bounced around my mind. It struck me that I had spent a lot of time trying to BE understood, & to MAKE myself understood, instead of trying to understand…. Funny how I hadn’t seen or even considered that due to a myopic self-focus that had majored on thinking of me & my needs, instead of considering those of others…
Hmm.
The cars were still just barely inching along. Making negligible progress.
What to do, what to do? Communication is more than just talking increasingly slower & louder until the other person gives in understands. I think I know what might help. Listening intently (as opposed to formulating responses to partially heard expressions. You don’t do that too, do you?) Asking clarifying, not condescending, questions. Listening some more. Talking.
Came across the reason for the traffic jam: an 8-car pileup @ just past the Glendale exit, caused by the culprit, “The Freezing Fog.” Off to the right of the accident, I saw a guy with a camera-phone that had climbed up the overpass, to film the crash. KOLO TV… Good news is no news.
And then, the traffic cleared. To the hospital.
I want to listen better. More fully. Be fully present in the conversation, & not merely be crafting rebuttal’s & counter-arguments. Starting now.
Saturday-ness in the Inclement Weather…
Just got in from shoveling. Again. It’s like a competition. This bout with the shovel was the best, because it was raining. Truly. Nothing like it, especially with the promise of more snow for the evening. Ahh.
I got to perform a wedding earlier this afternoon. Right before I went into the sanctuary, I stopped to look through the foyer windows & out into the world – amid the falling snow, I saw sun. Little blue sky. Rays sparkling off the plentiful snow piled on the ground. Beautiful, like myriad diamonds. What an environment to do a wedding in, I thought.
After the wedding, I was lurking outside the room where the pictures of the bride & groom & their families were being taken… thinking about the weather, wondering when in my life I’d learned to hate snow. Don’t know. At some point, the sheer joy that falling snow would bring had been replaced by a dread, a tangible negative response in my gut. Tried to pin the time down, but nothing came to mind. It’s fear.
Fear? Of snow? Why? Hmm.
Is it from worrying about having to transport youth group kids from home to Camp in the mess of snow? Worrying about theBean traveling from Sonora to C-town when we were dating? Getting stranded during my Domino’s delivery days? Or is it more recent, from the blizzard of 2005?
Why fear?
Something comes to mind: Danger. Separation. Isolation. Being without. Lack.
Hmm. Not sure why, but the realization & beginnings of identification with the pit in my gut makes me feel better. I pray. Ask for a new way of seeing snow. For comfort. Truth. Confidence in my God’s care & provision for me.
I look outside again & see that there is a backhoe in the Church parking lot. Scraping the snow off the lot & the driveway. It’s Rod, a guy from Church – he found out we didn’t get the lot scraped after the big snow Monday & borrowed the backhoe from his workplace. Then, he came up on his day off & spent a few hours plowing & scraping the residual snow & ice from the lot. Went out & talked with him. He was beaming. Glad to help, to do ‘his part.’
I wept…
Now, it’s later, & I look at the winter wonderland that has enveloped all I can see around me. Flakes the size of Silver Dollars (remember those!?) are falling. I sense awe, & wonder. Ponder the beautiful blanket of snow that makes everything it covers a work of art. Amazing.
I want to go shovel again… maybe later.
looking back on a Snow Day…
Woke up this morning to the joyous celebration that always accompanies a ‘Snow Day” – meaning the promised snowfall had not fallen short of expectations, 7 the prayers of my 3 children (& kids all over Reno,) had been answered. Stayed in bed for a few extra minutes; seemed the right thing to do, considering the fact that the need to rush off to school as Carpool Dad had been removed. Smelled the coffee. Ah.
Did what I always do when its snowing – check the weather report at weather.gov (like Duffy told me to,) to see how bad the storm would be, & how long it would stick around. Good news… confirmed by the evidence from the windows. Spriling snow, but not much. Which meant… shoveling the driveway.
Dressed for success & made my way to the driveway – don’t know exactly why I’m drawn to shoveling snow, but it feels absolutely like the right thing to do – clear a path to the cars, clear the cars, scape the windows. Great satisfaction at completion, in spite of the input my neighbor gave letting me know it was going to snow all day long. (BTW: it didn’t. Booyah.)
Took IDoey to the dentist, braving the most dangerous & difficult thing about the snow: drivers. Almost got taken out a couple of times by a black Hummer driving in the middle of the 4-lane road. Rewarded ourselves with chocky donuts, & navigated our way back up to the house.
Got a call saying that in spite of the snow & cancellation of school, IDoey’s dress rehearsal for White Christmas was still happening, giving further credence to the saying, “the show must go on.” So we piled into the car & navigated the streets again. Worked out, (Yes, it was a kettlebell day. I’m feeling the results of the last 3 weeks. Good results. Love it.)
Home. Chili-beef soup, made extra spicy with the brown Tabasco, aka Chipotle... And cornbread. Little rotwein. MNF. Now just waiting for dress rehearsal to be done so the day can end.
Reminiscing with theBean. This turned out to be a great day, snow & all. Life is good.
An epic trifecta: God, Guinness, & historical-ness…
I’m a ‘fan’ (fully devoted believer & follower) of God. A fan of Guinness. And a fan of history. So when I heard about a book that combined all 3 of those, I was intrigued, especially because it is often assumed that it is impossible for the first 2 (God & Guinness) to be associated at all, a development that seems to have originated with the Temperance Movement of the late 19th century, a subject I’ve written about in some detail HERE.
The book is called, The Search For God & Guinness – a Biography of a Beer That Changed The World,” by Stephen Mansfield. It begins with a series of anecdotes relating specifically to Arthur Guinness, the man that started the Guinness brewery in 1759, & also about the beer he created. It reveals a man (& a company,) committed to God & people. As I go through the book, I may blog some of the stuff that jumps out at me. So far, I’m really impressed at the values & priorities lived out by Arthur Guinness. He vividly illustrated by the way that he lived, worked, & cared for people that ‘the Church’ is not a building; it is a way of life – the Jesus way – loving God & people. He left behind a legacy & a lifetime of evidence that testified of that fact.
I’ve found it a fascinating read from the get-go. My favorite thing so far is from Mansfield’s exploration of the history of beer, & especially how it is tied to a familiar & significant part of the beginning of the United States of America. He cites a couple of primary sources, (meaning that the sources were written by actual Pilgrims who were eyewitnesses to the events recorded. If you’re interested, the sources are: Mourt’s Relation & Of Plymouth Plantation.)
The sources record the first interaction between the occupants of the Mayflower & the Native Americans, a couple of guys that we’ve learned about since Kindergarten, Samoset & Squanto. What I’d never heard about was the details of their first interchange.
In March of 1621 – the Pilgrims, worried about a lack of shelter from the brutal New England weather, as well as waning foodstuffs & a rapidly depleting beer supply, made their way ashore & began the process of establishing their colony. Here’s an excerpt from the book:
On March 16…a tall muscular native strode out from the trees & began to approach. The Pilgrims quickly took their muskets in hand. They were startled, for the man coming toward them was an unsettling sight. He was nearly naked – “Stark naked,” they later said – with only a strand of leather about his waist & fringe about as wide as a man’s hand covering his private parts. he carried a bow & 2 arrows & the Pilgrims noticed that his hair was long in the back but shaved at the front of his head. They had seen nothing like that in England.
As starling as this Indian was to the Pilgrims, it was what happened next that shocked them most of all. The man neared, paused, & then shouted “Welcome!” in clear, perfect English. And then, more astonishing still, he asked – again, flawlessly in the Pilgrims’ own tongue- if they had some beer.
Yes. Beer.
As much as I love historical-ness, I believe I would have paid even better attention if that information had been included in the educational process.
Don’t drive angry…
The last several days, I have been pondering Ephesians 4… especially the last few verses that contrast the out-workings of the ‘old’ vs. the results (fruit?) of the ‘new.’
It is amazing to me that I can go from ‘new’ to ‘old’ in a heartbeat. And just when I thought I was doing so good, out comes the snippy-ness. Harsh tone. Hard edge to the voice. Mean face. Ouch.
The other day, I was ‘in the moment’ in a ‘strong discussion’ with theBean. And in the middle of it, she ruined it by saying, “Look at your face.” She wasn’t trying to draw attention to my beauty, but rather to the nasty ‘mean face’ expression I had on it. Ticked me off that she’d try to derail our discussion with such trivialities, so I didn’t look full into the mirror… but I did peeky-peeky out of my left eye. I was startled at what I saw.
It was a face that I didn’t recognize as mine. It was twisted at the corners of the mouth, eyebrows up, lips tight & in a snarl… I didn’t need Dr. Lightman to tell me that it was anger, rage, & disgust that were coming out…
It was ugly. And it was me. Is me. Is not what I want from me. I want the new. For me. For theBean. For the kids. Not to give full vent to my anger, or to let a response build up & ride the waves of feeling & emotion that so easily give place to wronging another, even if just for the momentary satisfaction of Letting. It. All. Out.
Reminded me…
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. Proverbs 29:11 New International Version
Self-control is me cooperating with the work of the Holy Spirit – & not letting the groundhog drive the truck.
Peace.
Sunday afternoon…
Watching football & thinking about the last few days of food, family, Thanksgiving, & football. Sigh.
Thinking about my boy, John Louis – aka the Pasty Gangster… a nickname that I stole for him from John Stockton, a driven, sharp elbowed individual who starred in hoops at Gonzaga & with the Utah Jazz…
Got to watch Pasty’s State semi-final game yesterday – a combination of turnovers & a terrific Bishop Gorman team marked the end of his season… albeit one that took the Reed team further into the playoffs than they’d been since 1994. Way to go Pasty.
I’m especially proud of my boy for how he handled adversity. Started the season with a pretty good concussion (from an even better hit.) Missed a game & then battled for the rest of the year to regain the playing time he’d had before the concussion. But he never complained. He just worked hard – in the weight room, on the practice field, & even occasionally in the classroom. :) He played any position they’d put him at, ran the scout team, & worked his tail off to do the best he could, all the while keeping team & team success at the forefront of his focus.
Now for the 2nd semester of the Senior year, & preparation for what comes next.
Met a couple of young ladies today after church – had lunch with Ashley & Breezy. Remarkable. Ashley is 2 years out of high school, while Breezy is in her senior year, hoping to finish up by January 2010. Found out some interesting stuff that they’re doing. Like leading a Bible study that has a few new Christians, a few pre-Christian seekers, & a couple of curious people. They meet on Wednesday nights, & are studying through Deuteronomy. Yes, that Deuteronomy. I asked what they were enjoying the most, & they said, “It’s so FUN! Seeing people come to understand the scriptures, & have the a-HA! moment when they ‘get it.’ It’s the best.”
The girls are currently wanting to plant a Sunday night study where everyone who comes on Wednesday brings a friend that doesn’t profess Christianity, but that is open to hear about & study the Bible with them.
Amazing young women.
Nyquil, esp. the original flavor, is really tasty.
Having Thanksgiving Dinner again tonight. Don’t tell anyone, but theBean cooked a killer turkey. I may even have a bite or 2 before I descend upon the tri-tip.
a shout out to Thanksgiving Victory
For the last couple of months, I’ve been listening & re-listening to an mp3 series called “Thanksgiving Victory” by Keith Moore. I’ve found it to be incredibly encouraging – esp. in the reminders to purpose to give thanks. Be thankful. Practice thanksgiving… & not just in good times, or when things are going well. Another thing that really jumped out at me is the connection between giving thanks & exercising faith… that it takes faith to give thanks in times of difficulty or trouble.
Another area that really resonated was the connection between complaining, nitpicking, flexing ones negativity, self-pity, jealousy, & ungratefulness. It really jumped out at me that all of these feelings that lead to behaviors that are selfish, destructive, & not contributing to the goal of becoming more like Jesus can be overcome & overlaid by an attitude of thanksgiving… & as a Christ-follower, its not just an optional suggestion that I do this.
Later, when I was reading my Bible, I started seeing the command to “give thanks” all over the place, kinda like once you get a blue hoodie, you start noticing all the blue hoodies others have. It’s everywhere. Psalms is especially full of it – with the instruction being that I’m to come into God’s presences with thanksgiving, & to be constantly looking to give thanks (& praise!) for the things He has done, is doing, & will do for me.
Hasn’t been easy, & I was really surprised at how susceptible to negativity & ungratefulness I have been… & at the same time, how in a few months, I have seen & experienced a very real change in the way I think & speak.
Good stuff. I’d highly recommend the whole series.