Tag Archives: Pain

Pain

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Friends:

A tragedy has hit our dear friends – a day meant to be one of great rejoicing & celebration of the newness of life is instead crushing. Numbing.

I feel powerless. Broken into small pieces. Wishing there was something that I could DO to make the pain go away, to make their situation better. To ease the loss. The most well-used cliches & religious pontifications come off as insensitive, thoughtless, & antagonistic. This pain is beyond words, beyond being able to be fixed by something that we can do or say.

I know of nothing – except being. Standing with. Standing by. Loving.

Celebrate with those that are celebrating.
Rejoice with those that rejoice.
Weep with those that weep.
Mourn with those that mourn.

I pray for peace. And grace for our friends.

Easter musings, & a few other things…

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Something changed in the way I think about Easter – I noticed it in my preparations for the speeching… Can’t quite put a finger on what the change was exactly, but I can describe the absence of something… no angst caused by approaching a familiar topic – at various times coming up on past Easters, I’ve had a tension in my gut, a feeling that I needed to have a good speech for the day, or a gooder speech than I would normally bring (it sounds silly when I read those last sentences to myself, but they’re staying in.) This time, not so much – it was a very simple preparation time – born out of some Bible reading at a time when I wasn’t even “ON” (translation – phishing or studying for speeching material…)

Spent the afternoon with dear friends – great pizza, wings, & french dips – chocolate fondue, & a great Bordeaux. A fitting way to celebrate the Risen Christ.

On that note, I had the most amazing realization – I am a musical kind of guy – goodness. Who’d a thunk it? Looking back, I should have known – My Fair Lady, the Sound of Music, & even Doctor Dolittle (Rex Harrison Version please) etc…

Had an answer to prayer this week, specifically on the issue of pain I blogged about before… And I can see the glimmer of hope -not because the situation has changed, but probably because of my perspective. Approaching life with pessimism & realism can be such downers, esp. when it’s HOPE that is needed to carry the day. I’ll be revisiting that idea – that I need a HOPE infusion as a part of my Jesus life is a surety.

I wish to be more proficient on the guitar – that I would be able to play with my fingers what I hear in my head.

Last week, while in conversation with a friend, I heard him speak almost apologetically (ok, no almost about it, he was seriously qualifying…) about some nice things that he had. It wasn’t like he got them from any illegal or illicit activity – he was blessed – he bought a nice car – & a nice home. Had some disposable income. And felt like when talking to me (& others) that he needed to give a disclaimer as though a Christ-follower shouldn’t have nice stuff. He’s definitely not the guy that is trying to get people to sow their “RESURRECTION SEED into his MIHN-uss-tree” – not a charlatan – but it was still there. I’ll have to ponder that.

Processing pain… from a distance.

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Some dear friends of mine are in pain. Not the kind of pain that you know will fade with time, the kind where their bodies’ healing process kicks in, taking the often slow but still rather dependable journey to some semblance of health. No, this is a pain w/o a promise of healing.

They’ve experienced a violation from a close relationship, a trusted friend, the kind that shakes your faith in any humanity, & causes you to look at every area of life, every other relationship more closely… to subject others to examinations & questionings that seem so inappropriate, so untrusting to even think of friends this way… except for the fact that the violation happened. From a close friend, a trusted associate. One with whom sweet fellowship has been shared… They keep waiting to hit bottom, to finally come to the end of the Painful Revelations, where the depth & breadth & scope of the violations could finally be processed or at least assessed, instead of tensing up the gut, waiting for the next punch of disappointment to hit.

(BTW: please, please don’t get lost in the sweet fellowship comment. Think of it in the very best way you can, w/o the cynicism & jaded-ness. Thanks for that.)

Though I’m at a distance, their pain is mine as well. I’m trying to walk through this & to help them too. To point them to One that doesn’t disappoint. To remind ourselves of Easter & the ramifications of it. To look inward & ask the Spirit of God to explore the depths of my soul, every nook & cranny, exposing the things that lie in wait to wreak havoc. My prayer is:

Search me Father – know my heart. Try me, know my mind. If there be any wicked way in me, pull me to the Rock everlasting.