Tuesday afternoon musings…

My fantasy baseball season is being derailed almost before it begins. Injuries to Hanley Ramirez, Josh Hamilton, Ryan Doumit, & Carlos Delgado have left me scrambling for potential replacements… wonder if I can petition for more spots for the Disabled List…


A late afternoon Guinness in an icy glass is hard to beat.


When somebody thinks they know everything, it sure is hard to tell them otherwise. Man, I’ve tried. :)


TheBean is off on a cruise next week with TheWeez & a couple of other friends, meaning me, Pasty, & theJoey are bachelor-ing it. I’m totally confident that we’ll make it just fine, but I must confess I’m now doing what I can to scope out the fast-food options available in case my cooking ideas (read: microwaved pizzas & canned soups,) get too boring.


We’ll be hitting the movie THEE-ate-er at least once as well. X-Men Origins. Definitely.


Being without theBean for the week raises the question: why does it make me feel all hollow inside to think of being here without her? Is it just the missing of my One True love, or is it a Neediness that gets exposed when she’s not around for me to lean on? Hmmmm. I wonders…


I wish my kids had the opportunity to watch Joe Montana play football. The closest I think I’ll get is Tom Brady. Sigh.


No Line On The Horizon is my favorite U2 album since Joshua Tree. Time will tell where it ranks all time. I start everyday of work listening through it. Love it.

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pride

This is a continuation of some thoughts I started processing through HERE.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires (cravings, lusts, & longings) of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. 1John 2:15-17 ESV

Pride. What I have. What I accomplish. Who I am, (or present myself to be?) based upon my job, title, education, place I work… Specifically measured against what Others have. Who they are. What they have done. Are doing.

Pride is insidious. It worms its way into the most unfortunate places. Disguises itself with the best of disguises. Undermines the most unsuspecting of persons.

And is common to all humanity. To me.


I read in Numbers 12…now Moses was more humble than any other person on earth… I remember that he was the adopted son of the Pharaoh’s daughter, meaning he most likely grew up with privilege. Education. Wealth. Position. And he left it to lead his people out of slavery to a land occupied by the Nephilim.

I remember that Moses is called the friend of God, a person whom confers with God face to face. That Moses has seen incredible signs, wonders, & miracles worked in & through him by the power of God.

And still he is humble.


I ponder… I think that there’s a special susceptibility to pride that christians have – without even giving 2 thoughts to it… it hides out in our using of our relationship & standing before God to measure ourselves, ranking ourselves against others. Glorying in our humility, our faithfulness. Measuring ourselves by the Great Things that we will do for God. By aspiring to do Great Things, even Greater Things than others do, all the while forgetting what God really wants from us is that we would ‘do justly, love mercy, walk humbly…’ Not that we admit to doing it, but it happens just the same…

CS Lewis writes:

Pride always means enmity – it is enmity. And not only enmity between man and man, but enmity to God. In God you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that – and, therefore, know yourself as nothing in comparison – you do not know God at all.

As long as you are proud, you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you…Mere Christianity p.124


The more I think about the 1John passage, the more I see a root of discontent lurking, waiting to be planted in me. A discontent with what I am. What I have. What I’m doing. What God has provided. And this discontent rashly & repeatedly looks for its fulfillment in the world we live in… And then God becomes a tool that I use to further my reach – to indulge the cravings of my eyes, my flesh, & my pride.

Sigh.

Monday afternoon musings…

Brother & I hit a new spot for lunch today – Beto’s – Guadalajara style Mexican food, on Ralston & 5th, right next to JJ’s Pie Co. Met with some other brothers & ate Wet Burritos… the Wet referring to the salsa that is slathered all over the insides of the burrito. Good stuff. Made me crave JJ’s wings though.


Ellie learns all kinds of new stuff at the office – today, it was how to recognize U2: Bono. Edge. Larry. Adam. Yes.

You can thank me later Ellie B.


The snow of last Tuesday, & the abomination of the Broken Irrigation Valve threw a wrench into my Well-Laid Plans. So this week will be IKEA week- to get the bookshelves that are necessary for the reorganization process of the office & LY-berry. Oh yes. It will be done.


TheBean celebrates her birthday on 24 April. As I type this, I’m looking at 2 of the pics that she gave me her Senior year of High School… back in the day when she was 17. I still have to pinch myself sometimes – thinking, “This girl really likes me. Still.” Wow. Who’d a thunk it?


Brother got as giddy as a school boy today – if you’ve read of his frustrations with our lot-lurkers HERE, you’ll be glad to know that we had some ‘visitors’ today.(NOTE: the lot-lurker visitors are easy to spot – they park in the furthest parking spot in the lot, under the trees. All windows up. Usually tinted.)

Brother decided he wasn’t going to take it anymore… so he called RPD… and they showed up! First one car. Then shortly after, another (BACKUP! They called for BACKUP!) Got the people out of the car – multiple guys. 1 woman. Cuffed the guys. Loaded the back of the two cars.

Then, out of the blue, a big RPD paddy-wagon showed up – & all the cuffed humans were put into it. Excitement up on the Hill. Don’t come here & break the law, man.


Something that I’ve been mulling over… Reading through Exodus, what is jumping out at me are the smells, specifically those that God instructs Moses to make & to prepare a place for – using the finest smelling oils & incense… so that every time people would come into God’s presence, they would be met with a fragrant & memorable smell… Hmmm.


Think I’m sneaking out at 1 on Wednesday for my first Aces game. Esp. with the weather we’re supposed to be having… goodness.

mere christianity, grad school, & other thoughts…

Ever since I learned to read, C.S. Lewis has been one of my favorite authors… I have read & re-read everything of his that I could get my hands on. Narnia. The Space Trilogy. The Screwtape Letters. You get the idea. There weren’t many months in the last 35 years of my life where I haven’t been in the middle of a Lewis book…

With that said, I had never read through what many consider to be Lewis’ best work: Mere Christianity – a book that was compiled from a series of lectures Lewis gave on BBC Radio between 1941-1944, during the heart of World War II, a fact that cannot and should not be forgotten as the book is read.

Since I’ve only got about 4 or 5 books on my ‘reading list,’ I decided that now would be the time that I’d finally tackle it… don’t know what kept me from it all these years unless it had to do with my love & preference for the known works, & possibly because so many had suggested that I read it. (No, I’m not passive/aggressive. i just want reading it to be my idea…)

I’m 3/4 of the way through the book, & I’m enjoying it immensely… the provocation of thought, as well as the picture that is given, albeit indirectly, of a period in in Britain’s history as it was teetering on the brink of becoming post-Christian… with one man’s ‘talking’ through belief, & his own reasons to believe. If you like to think, as well as to consider & work through your own philosophical presuppositions, I’d highly recommend it to you.


With Mere Christianity as the backdrop – I’ve been researching & looking for a grad school to ‘attend’ – whether taking classes online &/or finding a program where the amount of onsite attendance is minimal… because I would like to pursue a graduate degree in an area that would supplement & augment my day job & the life I lead now, I’ve been looking at a lot of accredited christian colleges & university programs… And I’ve found a few that have piqued my interest, most notably the program at Gonzaga, which fits the bill for what I’ve been looking for, albeit for the cost of purchasing a highly sought after free agent in one of the major sports…

Something that has been a leeettle bit of a surprise to me is that many (most?) of the institutions I’ve pulled an application for have a policy written into their application addressing ‘conduct’ – a policy that any & all students, whether taking classes in person or online, need to agree to. That policy is one of no drinking alcohol (not moderation, but None. Zero. Zip.,) no smoking of tobacco products of any kind, no drugs, & for many, no social dancing.

I’ve written blogs in the past about my thoughts on alcohol, which you can read HERE. And, like my heroes JRR Tolkien, CS Lewis, Sherlock Holmes, I enjoy reading & writing while smoking my pipe… which seem to DQ me from pursuing higher education from a christian institution unless I’d be willing to falsely sign a peace of paper stating one thing, while living completely differently… which I’m not willing to do.

Nor am I willing to sign a paper agreeing not to drink any alcohol or smoke a pipe as though by doing so I’m ascribing to a standard of holiness that seems to be aimed at bolstering the smug-ness meter of a legalistic religion being passed off as christianity. Sigh.


Now, back to Mere Christianity I came across a section where Lewis addresses “Morality” & “Virtue.” One of the virtues he discusses is “Temperance” – a word whose definition had been co-opted over time to mean Teetotaling, or complete abstinence from alcohol. Lewis’ writes:

It is a mistake to think that Christians ought all to be teetotallers; Mohammedanism (Islam), not Christianity, is the teetotal religion.

Of course it may be the duty of a particular Christian, or of any Christian at a particular time to abstain from strong drink, either because he is the sort of man who cannot drink at all without drinking too much or because he is with people who are inclined to drunkenness, & must not encourage them by drinking himself.

But the whole point is that he is abstaining for a good reason, from something that he does not condemn, & which he likes to see other people enjoying. One of the marks of a certain type of bad man is that he cannot give up a thing himself without wanting everyone else to give it up. That is not the Christian way.

An individual Christian may see fit to give up all sorts of things for special reasons – marriage, meat, beer, or the cinema – but the moment he starts saying the things are bad in themselves or looking down his nose at other people who do use them, he has taken the wrong turning.

One great piece of mischief has been done by the modern restriction of the word “Temperance” to the question of drink. It helps people to forget that you can be just as intemperate about lots of other things. A man who makes his golf or his motorbicycle the centre of his life, or the woman who devotes all of her thoughts to clothes or bridge or her dog is just as intemperate as someone who gets drunk every evening.

Of course it doesn’t show on the outside as easily; bridge-mania, golf-mania do not make you fall down in the middle of the road, but God is not deceived by externals.

Hmmm.

flesh

This is a continuation of some thoughts I started processing through HERE.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires (cravings, lusts, & longings) of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. 1John 2:15-17 ESV


I ponder… “the cravings, lusts, & longings “of the flesh… with the word flesh meaning me, my physical body, & my human nature – my natural propensities, bents, drives, & inclinations. It’s not a call to live in denial of my humanity – can’t change that, don’t want to. It’s also not an indictment as ‘inherently unholy’ the God-instilled drives of hunger, thirst, & sexuality…

That’s important to note because there are places, pockets of belief really, where people get lost; places that equate holiness with abstaining from anything enjoyable or nice – that the more they would deny their ‘fleshly’ (see: human) desires, the more spiritual that they would be. And the converse would be true also – those that DIDN’T deny those impulses were less spiritual & holy.


Galatians 5:16,17 tells us to walk in the Spirit, & we won’t fulfill the lusts of the flesh… & that the flesh & Spirit are at odds with each other… What I see is that I will get into trouble if I put my natural drives & desires in charge of me, in the drivers seat if you will – letting them & them alone guide my thoughts, choices, decisions, & what I give myself to.

The ‘walking in the Spirit” is where self-control comes in – not me trying to keep myself in check, but living life under the direction & guidance of the Holy Spirit. Acknowledging, even declaring that there’s more to life than self-indulgence, doing what I feel, following my cravings – that even though I’m 100% human, the most important thing to me is obedience to God, & living the Christ-following life…


Here’s a thought:

To go to an extreme either way is destructive & displays the rotting fruit of a flesh-driven life….

Hmmm.

It’s easier to see the results of self-indulgent excess – wanton debauchery, the life of the Prodigal in Vegas, letting one’s proverbial ‘freak-flag-fly’… I believe that there’s just as much deadly flesh evident in the extreme ascetic lifestyle, though in christianity the latter is often held up as something desirable & to be aspired to…

I’m still pondering…

Friday musings…


Sitting at the completely clear & clean kitchen counter, coffee nearby, preparing for blog-age is one of my favorite things. Esp. on Fridays, which is my day of rest…. I love it. Along with brown paper bags, wrapped up with string of course…


I’m really, really looking forward to my first Aces game – hopefully 4/18… Preliminary weather report: High of 68F, low of 40. No rain, light wind.

So say we all!


Life is simpler without having to put up a pretense to try to impress others. It’s at least less work. I want to “be comfortable in my own skin,”… I think that’s how Bono put it…


As background, I occasionally have blood sugar issues – when I don’t eat often enough, or don’t get enough protein, my blood sugar plummets, as does my outlook, mood, demeanor… you get the picture.

On that note, kids are funny. And pretty quick learners too… we were having an interchange with theWeez about a particular series of choices she made that resulted in us needing to have a “Talk.” Obviously, didn’t fully appreciate how the “Talk” was going, & further, had issues with the method of Presentation that I had chosen. But rather than take it up a notch & try to argue, bluster, or complain, she just said:

“When was the last time you ate? You should eat something, & then we can talk…”

Nice.


Easter is this Sunday… I’m looking forward to it – the story of redemption never gets old. And I never want to just go on ‘auto-pilot’ & mail it in either, just because its Easter. May I never lose the wonder…


NOTE: No rocks were thrown during the writing of the following paragraphs…

Easter, along with Christmas Eve, seem to be times where churches are more prone to troll for newbies using the “Be Our Guest” scene from the Beauty & the Beast Disney film… where we put our best on, place our best foot forward, with the best music, best speech, & best egg hunt for the kiddies. All in the space of 70 minutes… & just in time for the next best service.

It seems to be more designed for a christian culture than for one of pre-christians… to attract christians from other churches to come & see. I ponder consumer-church… Hmmm…

END NOTE


I was asked out on a date, for tonight, by theBean. Don’t know where we’re going – it’s a surprise. I’m going to do my best to make myself extra pretty… :)

eyes…

For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been pondering a section of 1John that has come back to me a few times since reading it… & the next few posts are my processings through it, in no real order… First, the section:

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. 1John 2:15-17 ESV

In reading that, what grabbed me 1st was the phrase, ‘all that is in the world…’ As though the following statements are revelatory about specific ways that we are seduced into sin… I looked up the word translated as “desires,” & found that it is also translated as

‘craving, lust, &/or longing for that which is forbidden…Strongs Concordance – G1939″


Desires of the eyes… what I want. Need. And seeing that I want, no, need what I don’t have. I sense an erosion of contentedness, knowing that my next bout of ‘happiness’ hinges on the accumulation of some thing, some material possession that will Finally put me over the edge into bliss. Until the next craving hits. This desire is never satisfied. It has a roving eye, portraying, promising an emptiness of life unless an attempt is made at fulfilling the craving. Which always returns. With a vengeance.

Makes me contemplate what I’m looking at. What catches my eyes? Maybe its the studies I’ve been doing on idols & Idolatry, but I think this is a fleshing out of a visible, tangible idol; an idol whose face changes, that takes on different shapes. An idol that is hinting at, & occasionally flaunting ‘completeness of me,’ as seen through the jaded, jealous, & judgmental eyes of a nameless, faceless, yet oh so important Other person that will either accept or reject me based upon what I have. Or don’t.

I can feel it in the pit of my stomach.


So the extremist emerges – rather than accumulate, I will divest myself of this materialism, go ‘minimalist’ & detach myself from all of my possessions, & even from the desire to possess, choosing instead to subsist on the bare minimum… & maybe just a bit less. Yep. That’ll do just fine.

But there’s a nagging sense that all I’ve done is exchange one side of the coin for the other. And that the comparisons, the cravings, the lurking enticement remains, though with a different face.


I come back to think on what it means to be “content.” To be able to be at peace, at rest, with a little. Or with a lot. To not need an external ‘security blanket’ that can rot, burn, be stolen, be misplaced… (no matter how nice a Goodall Walnut Standard would make me FEEEEEEL…)

To put my eyes where they belong. On Jesus Christ, the author & finisher of my faith… who was tempted in every way that I am, but Who didn’t give in to sin. Who saw through the empty promises of the lusts & desires, & chose instead obedience…

musings from a Monday night at Pinocchio’s…

Joey has practice tonight at Golden Eagle, & theBean is home painting (which, by the way, is a dangerous activity to be around, don’t you know?) So I sought out a quiet place to catch the NCAA Basketball championship & to pass the time until I can pick up Joey… ’bout a 2-hour block of time. My choice? Pinocchio’s, the restaurant where theBean works, a short .9 mile jaunt from home, & a relatively safe spot to sit, veg-out, watch the game, eat what may be the best chicken wings in the greater Reno/Sparks area, & to blog.


I’m watching Michigan St. get worked by North Carolina… too many mistakes, & what seems to be an attempt to catch up all at once by shooting 3-pointers every time down the court. Bummer. The Spartans are moving away from the game plan that has worked throughout the tourney… & it’s not pretty.


On one of the other TV’s, I can see CNN & the Larry King show – it catches my eye, because Larry is interviewing Rick Warren, pastor of Saddleback Church in the SoCal, author of all things PurposeDriven… it’s significant to me for a couple of reasons: Warren has become one of the de facto spokesperson for American Christianity (along with Joel Osteen,) & addresses in ‘sound-byte perspectives’ all things ‘christian,’ most notably, politics. It’s also significant to me because the sound isn’t on, & I can only tell what the subject/topic of Larry King & Rick Warren’s discussion by the large ‘headlines’ smattered on the screen at various times, which I’m assuming must be their talking points.

It seems that a big portion of the interview centered on: WARREN ON OBAMA (capital letters were CNN’s,) & whether he should be a part of a particular church. Other topics that appeared were:

  • Does prayer help you get a job?
  • Is Warren anti-gay?
  • Why did President Obama select Rick Warren to play the role he did in the inauguration?
  • CNN also puts a “feedback line” that runs along the bottom of the screen, where viewers can put forward their own thoughts about what they’re saying & hearing… interesting. Lots of vitriol, rhetoric, & politicizing of ‘issues’ as christian/un-christian, esp. along political party lines…


    In other news, I’m through 2 of the 3 books in the C.S. Lewis space trilogy…. Once again, I’d highly recommend all 3 books to you, but especially the 2nd one, Perelandra. Without giving away too much, I’ll say that in this book Lewis explores what the temptation of Eve in the Garden of Eden must have been like – portraying the Tempter as a cunning, relentless, manipulative, deceptive, & diabolically clever adversary bent on one purpose: perverting the words of the Creator & attempting to steal, kill, & destroy those created in the image of the Creator.

    Though I’ve read the book many times, this time esp. jumped out at me – the Genesis 3 account can almost make Eve look & sound like a naive, unsophisticated & unintelligent human being, one that was so easily duped by a few sentences spoken by her own tempter that she must have been a virtual child, a simpleton, when nothing could be further from the truth. Eve was the LORD God’s final act of creation, fashioned from Adam, made to be a ‘suitable partner’ for him… She was made & declared by God to be “very good.”

    Whether it be out of ignorance, projection of an anti-woman bias that has existed within the church (machine), or some other error, a not-so-subtle placing of blame on ‘the woman’ because of her ‘naivete’ has fed, at least in me, a wrong or distorted view of the cause & nature of sin, temptation, & our propensity to shift blame.

    Read Perelandra.


    I’ve been thinking quite a bit on 1John 2:15-17… & think that I’ll do a series of 3 blogs on it…

    It’s time to get Joey.

    Ciao!

    monday musings…


    Home after a great weekend spent in Portland with theBean’s cousin Christy & her husband Levi. And their little dog Winston. It turns out after 3 days together, we remembered to take 2 pictures. 2. Silly us. Hopefully, we can snag some of the pics that Levi & his family took when they came over for dinner on Saturday…

    Christy is 9 years younger than theBean & was the flower girl in our wedding… it rained (not unusual for Portland :) which was beautiful. I loved the steady but tolerable showers, the cloudy-overcastness, the glimmers of sun breaking through the clouds for seconds at a time. The food they cooked for us was incredible, & we hope to get several of the recipes to make our own…

    Both Levi & Christy work at Multnomah University, which is about 5 minutes walk from their house. As I’ve stated before, I absolutely love the higher ed environment, & my recent grad school pursuits were really fired up seeing the school & talking through all the ed. options that Levi will be exploring. Lucky.

    Words can’t really describe the impact of the weekend – catching up with Levi & Christy; watching theBean with her cousin, & finding how eerily similar they are. Like the same foods. Can’t breathe too well through their noses. Both think they’re pretty funny & laugh quite a bit. Have an interesting time pronouncing certain words, esp. words with an “S”. It was priceless.

    Makes me wonder about the power & wonder of knowing & being known… & the comfort & encouragement of seeing someone that is ‘like’ you… hmmm…


    Came home to sun. I love Reno. Clear blue skies. Light wind. Still manages to be freezing cold at night. I love it!


    4+ mile run with Brother today… the good news is that I’m still feeling it… hips, knees, ankles are doing well, which makes me happy. I’m working up to a regular schedule of 5 miles (3-4x/week) & hope to do a 10K one of these days.


    Reading through CS Lewis’ sci-fi trilogy... just finished the 1st one, & started Perelandra last night… Thursday, I start the finale…

    I enjoy the trilogy because the main character, E. Ransom, is based on JRR Tolkien… & at the same time is a completely unexceptional individual… whom nonetheless is chosen for an extraordinary series of missions, to battle evil incarnate with seemingly nothing but his wits & a growing spiritual sensitivity… good times.


    Finally caught the BSG finale. Meh.