Picture from Johnny's Senior night...
Merry Christmas… from my family to yours…
Tag Archives: Family
there’s something in my eye…
I’ve been crying a lot. A LOT. Almost at the proverbial “drop of a hat.” Watching my iDoey & Reed High School’s presentation of “White Christmas.” Drinking coffee & thinking of friends. Eating breakfast. (It was a really good egg & sausage burrito.) Playing with my niece Ellie G.
Not sure why this is happening, though I think that I’ve traced the beginning to being in Germany a couple weeks back… I remember feeling overwhelmed & overcome with thankfulness, sitting around the dinner table with Shawn, Matt, & a couple of Russian/Kazakh pastors, wrestling through a couple layers of a language barrier, sharing good food & drink, lots of laughs, & the commonality of relationship with Christ. This commonality makes the most daunting cultural, language, social barrier seem like a mere crack in the floor compared to knowing & being known by Jesus Christ, Lord & Savior. It causes the most cynical part of me, the part scarred & marred by religion, religious-ness, & religiousity to be able to truly speak the words “brother” & “sister…” to the people at my table. And mean it. These words, too seemingly steeped in christian-ese to be able to be spoken except in sarcastic jest, rolled off of my lips as I embraced & was embraced by these precious men & women.
I remember being struck at how truly blessed I am. With theBean. My Pasty. iDoey. theWeez. My family. Friends – real friends.. God’s faithful provision. A church family. A job. Countless resources.
Now it seems I am seeing beauty in things & people that before I may not even have taken notice of a month ago. And its everywhere. And it is TRULY a wonderful life.
Ellie came into my office & saw me crying today – she’s 2, an age where crying only means sad. She ran out into the main office area declaring, “Tay-tay’s CRYing! Tay-tay’s CRYing!” Her mom said, “Ellie! Tay-tay needs a hug!” The precious little one came running back in & lifted up her arms: “Tay-tay! Up!”
I swooped her into my arms & she squeezed me around the neck for what seemed like an hour. Then, she patted me on the back gently, & lovingly said, “It’s ok Tay-tay.” She grabbed my face, looked into my eyes, & yelled, “Tay-tay! DOWN!”
I saw the sun in Frankfurt, even though it was only for a moment…
For some reason I woke up early; really early today – 4 a.m. Maybe it was to compensate for the sleeping in until 11:30 the day before, but for some reason I was up & ready to go. So I read. Looked at the dark, pre-dawn sky. Counted sheep. (not actual sheep… more the pretend kind in an attempt to lull my brain into thinking it could go to sleep.) No luck.
Thought about the events of the last few days. Time with Johannes & Anja. Anja’s famous Thai Chicken. Bulgarian Wine. “Coincidental” answers to prayers unlooked for. Hard conversations wrought with pain, challenge, & hope for a future. Continue reading
the 1st day of school, & other monday morning musings…
Today is the first day of school for all 3 kids – Pasty is starting his senior year. IDoey is a freshman. TheWeez is off to 7th grade & Middle-School. Preparation for the day included everybody in bed, willingly & of their own accord, by 10 p.m. Lunches packed. Clothes washed, pressed & laid out. 3 mostly self-sufficient humans getting themselves together… nice.
And then this a.m., everyone up no later than 6. No real rushing – just the familiar sounds of Pasty downstairs with Mike & Mike, Weezer’s hair dryer, & IDoey’s humming. The inexplicable & matchingly liberal application of Axe Body Spray or Ralph...
The funny part is that we all ended up at the counter in the kitchen… with theBean, (starting her week off with a Day Off of Work,) willingly making breakfast ala “short-order-made-to-order..” What a site to see.
Then I realized that it was time for the kids to head out… & I flashed back across the 13 years of First Day of School that we’ve done.
Pasty’s first day of pre-K at Seeliger with his little siblings jealous of his chance to get out of the house & go to PLAY.
Our first day of school upon our move to Sparks – mid-year of all times… Pasty was a good sport through a tough situation.
IDoey’s first day of Kindergarten with Mrs. Martin.
The day that all 3 kids finally went to school together.
Pasty’s move to Jr High, then High School. Then IDoey’s.
And now Weez is out of elementary & into the world of 12 going on 25…
I wanted to get them to pose for a picture, but I couldn’t find the words. They were stuck in my throat behind a big lump. My eyes were swimming & I found that all I could really do was sit & look at them in their morning routine.
Coffee helped compose me, & I finally eeked the words out – & asked the 3 kids to pose by the stairs. Without a word of complaint, they did, & went into the familiar routine of goofy silliness that characterizes & lets steam off of such moments. Let me take several pictures even.
And then off.
Sigh. 
the world as I remember it…
Time passes. A blink, & POOF…
Thursday evening blogging while I’m waiting for my next cab-fare…
I’ve been counting down for the last 12 weeks… & I’m down to double digits. Monday, I’m off to the Center for Spiritual Renewal in Christiansburg, VA – where theBean & I went last year. This year, I’m flying solo for a 7 day rest, renewal, counseling, & solitude trip. Can’t wait. I’m planning on reading, going to a couple of baseball games (Salem Red Sox), & hanging out on the fringes of the Virginia Tech (VT) campus – there are tons of good eateries & loitering spots that I plan to occupy. Hmmm. Can’t wait.
Stop & go driving in the heat is most likely my least favorite thing these days… seems like with the schedules that we’re keeping, I am trying to enjoy it & make the most of my transit time. To Golden Eagle. Church. To Reed High. Home. Repeat.
So I try to make it so that I’ve always got a Speech on mp3 to listen to – I’ve taken to loading my phone to make my solo time in the car “listening time.” It’s good… but I’ll take highway driving hands down.
Both boys are in ‘double-days’ for football right now – meaning – they have 2 practices a day for the next 10 days – helmets & shorts until Monday, then lots of hitting in full pads to get ready for Week 1 of the 2009 season. Go Pasty. Go IDoey…
Just got a new paperback copy of Lord of the Rings for my trip – I hope it smells good. I love the smell of a good book. Isn’t that viert?
I love the coolness of the evenings lately – very nice. Now THIS is the Nevada I know.
TheBean has had a turn or 3 with “positional vertigo.” Thanks to Christine the Gifted Ear Doctor & the Mighty Hand & Outstretched Arm of the LORD, she is up & about, walking in straight lines again.
I thought Ellie was small, then I saw Ellie’s cousin, my nephew Trevor… He is small. Then I saw Baby Zoe – now SHE is really small. And she makes the same ‘Weezy” noises that gave my Weezer her nickname. I wonder if there’s something in the girly DNA in the fam…
New shoes. Nike Sparq (with an Q!) Which of course makes them eXXXXXXtra cool. And boy can I run fast & jump higher than ever.
Sometimes all a man needs is a tortilla filled with cheese. After its been heated in a pan, of course.
Its funny to me that incredibly terrible movies keep coming out every week, & people keep lining up to go see them, as though somehow its required to do so. Goodness. Not even free popcorn with butter all ov-ah could get me to the theatre… Oh, for a Hitchock classic. Like “Notorious.”
School starts up again for us in just a couple of weeks – & all 3 of the kiddos will be out of the house, M-F, by 7 a.m. That’s not late, no, no, it’s earl-ay, earl-ay…
And on that note, what ever happened to the Spin Doctors?
I’m interested to see how the whole “Michael Vick is back in the NFL” will be playing out in Blacksburg & the VT campus…
More & more I find myself singing little songs that I have made up, somewhere, sometime, for some reason. And I find myself… amused. And the best part is that the iPhone now has a Voice Recorder just in case I generate a gem that I can send to Jack’s Big Music Show or to the Wiggles (if the Wiggles are still around. Must check into that…)
Over/under for the number of fantasy football teams I will have this fall = 10. Currently, I’m taking the “under.”
cleaning the freezer & other musings on a Monday…
I’m not pregnant, but I’m nesting. Went through the pantry with theBean. Swept it. Through away stuff with shelf life that ended in 2007. Truly.
Went through the refrigerator. Ditto. Found a milk carton, (MILK!) that expired in December 2008. Ouch. Never even saw it. Found some food that Julia made. (Yes the Julia that went back to Deutschland in February…) Nice. (NOTE: This doesn’t reflect on anyone’s personal cleaning habits… it’s just a blog, man.)
Today, I decided to tackle the freezer, since theBean was headed for Shift #2 on the day. Went through the freeze-dried foods, the unwrapped icy-treats, & other stuff that one finds in the freezer. Then, I came across some Drumsticks. You know, that incredible tasty ice-cream treat that sits on a sugar cone, covered with quik-dry chocolate & peanuts?
Well, what I found were the ‘heads’ of the drumsticks. Turns out, the cones had all be eaten, & some kind soul had placed the drumstick heads back into the freezer for anyone that might want the leftovers.
So I did what anyone would do. I ate the chocolate off the ice-cream & put them back in the freezer. Silly us. :)
Went to the Hand Dr. for I-Doey. Got the stitches out. Looks good – like he’ll be able to start in with his summer weights & football stuff tomorrow – just no contact drills for the next 3 weeks, at which time more X-Rays will be taken to check on the progress of young I-Doey’s finger.
We’re hoping, praying & believing for a complete recovery, without any of the finger-hypersensitivity that the Dr. said might be a possibility. Here’s to healing. Woohoo!
According to my 2 oldest children, I may be showing signs of getting smarter. Or at least being smarter than they thought I was. I will update you on any more progress I make.
I’m ecstatic – the book re-release that I’ve been waiting for is finally here… Jerry Cook’s classic, Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness: Being Christian in a Non-Christian World came out last week. This has been one of the books that has most formed my outlook on life, the Church, & my view of God.
If you have never read it, by all means, get a copy & do so. If you have, get the re-release today. It is the classic you remember that has been brought up to date & made even better… its even got a ‘study guide’ included in the back.
On my second reading of the re-release today. :)
Thinking about how thankful I am that the Bible doesn’t need to be updated.
I believe that we’re on the brink of something large. A fundamental shift in the way we live, work together, & carry out life. Not trying to come up with the Next Big Thing, but rather trying to cooperate with what I believe are the doors that are opening in front of us.
New ways of doing my job – new roles, with other things not happening any more. Trusting that God has provided & will provide for what comes next. Thankful I don’t have to have all the answers, but just do my part. And encourage others to do the same. Wherever they are. Cryptic enough?
I think I’ll go eat some more chocolate off the Drumstick heads.
musings on the 1st of July
Let’s just say that I’ve been a bit… deliberate in my blogging the last few weeks… meaning, its been slow. Not because there’s nothing to blog about, (because, really, has that ever stopped me before,) but rather because I’m processing in my head. And I’m back, with an intent to bring the cheese.
Today is anniversary #20 of my marriage to theBean. When I think back through all the little ‘coincidences’ that led to us connecting that 3rd week of June, 1988, it boggles my mind. Perhaps I’ll spend a little time revisiting the birth of our adventure.
I’m not much of a Destiny believer (meaning: there’s 1 person out there for me & Destiny will bring us to-gev-uh…) which automatically identifies me as a “chick-flick hater” (not true: I’ll watch ’em. Just don’t buy into ’em.) And as a “non-romantic” (also not true: I may not be the Dr. of Love, but I have been known to be able to romance, wine, & dine my girl…)
However, there were more than a few ‘what if’s’ that had to come together – when I was reminiscing about that with theBean, I asked her, “How could I get so lucky that you would love ME?” She said, “Hmm. Good question. You must’ve just been in the right place at the right time…” With a smile.
I was thinking about my life, & wondering if I would enjoy it if my job had a “summer break” – like my 3 kids do. Sometimes, the loads of free time, lounging around, doing whatever, whenever, however seems attractive. And then I realize that one of life’s great joys is the ability to do something with purpose…
Mind you, I’m not talking about deriving my worth from work; instead, its knowing that my life matters. Being able to put my hands to something, to give my all & do my best plays a role in the feeling of contentment. I’ve been reading through Ecclesiastes & found something that sums that up for me:
Here is what I have seen to be and fitting: to eat, to drink, & enjoy oneself in all one’s labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward…Ecclesiastes 5:18 NASB
Perhaps the doldrums, depression, & discontent come from not having something to apply one’s hands to? Not just a job, but a place to volunteer, help out, give of oneself. Hmmm.
Just booked my time at CSR for the 3rd week of August. Me & theBean spent some time there last year & it was life-changing. If you’d like to reminisce (I know I did!) you can check out the posts from last August HERE
Current reading list:
Time to go work out. Then home to shower, put on my foo-foo clothes, & out to dinner (which will be, most likely a slab of beef,) with my One, myBean, the love of my life, mother of my children, most B-E-A-Utiful woman in the entire world…
Sigh.
whew…
I was at my 14 year old son’s baseball game, City Tournament don’t you know, reading, waiting for it to start. All the players were running through their warmups, taking groundballs, playing soft-toss, the usual preliminaries…
I was jerked from my book world with the calling of my name. My son was walking towards me, holding his right hand with his left, gingerly… like when he was small & had an owie… I (calmly) ran over to him to see what was up – well, it turns out that what was up was he had taken a bad hop grounder off of the tip of his middle finger… and it was bleeding…
Upon closer examination & in conferring with one of his coaches, I could see that his fingernail was sitting at a 45 degree angle… & that there seemed to be something wrong with the end of his finger… but we couldn’t see it through the blood.
I’m solo at the game, glad I’m there, but now wrestling with the fact that now I have to parent, & to make tough decisions. No panic. Banish worry. Be calm. Pray for peace.
We have to go to the ER, just in case this is more than just a busted nail. Which hospital?
My mind raced… called our insurance carrier in the car… driving towards the nearest hospital with a hope that I wouldn’t have to pass it by & go somewhere else. Didn’t. Hoped for an empty waiting room. Yes.
Went through triage, (can’t see anything because of the blood,) & saw a doctor within 1 hour (a personal record for me & mine for ER trips.) X-rays. Answers.
The tip of the finger is broken off (open distal phalanx fracture) & bone is protruding from the fingertip, through the flesh. Dr. wants a game plan.
Clean it. Stitches. Reset. Split. More Xrays.
Everything went according to the game plan. Thank you Jesus.
Next up, due to the severity of the break, we’re off to a hand specialist to see if surgery will be required to repair the finger. Unknown.
Today, I sit at my desk, a card table in my room really, & ponder the thoughts that flood my mind, & fight for attention. The feeling of powerlessness that washes over me watching my son in pain, lots of pain. Worry about the unknown: will it heal right? WIll he need surgery? What will it cost?
I think back upon the ride over to the game, where we prayed for him for peace. Confidence. Strength. Thinking it was for the baseball game. Revisiting the hours in the ER where he recalled our prayer & laughed at the irony of how our evening ended up, & that the answers to prayer looked a lot different than him trying to hit a baseball.
Facing my own fears. Inadequacies. Powerlessness. But not living or acting out according to how I feel or how things seem to be… rather, trusting & choosing to trust that God is in control, & is near. Not that He’s ever far, but the sense of His being “WITH” us is tangible.
Surprises…
There’s lots of things in the world that I don’t understand. I’ve just found another one.
Yesterday, a priority mail package arrived. Looked like something I’d get from Amazon if I’d ordered a book… but this was from ATT. Hmm. Wonder what they could be sending?
After opening the package, I discovered 3 things:
Truly, right now, I have no response.