Years ago, a German friend confronted me in the middle of one of my “minor” fits of anger using just those words.
“It’s your choice.”
His admonition didn’t alleviate the slow burn I was experiencing; it made it worse. He obviously didn’t understand that I was JUSTIFIED in my anger, & that it was BECAUSE a whole series of things had gone WRONG & I was DISAPPOINTED & when I tried to share my disappointment using my WORDS, my wife (seemingly, to me in my agitated slow burn of a fit) DISREGARDED my (righteous) frustration. It was like she MADE me escalate my anger.
A disclaimer: It wasn’t one of those loud, visibly angry episodes; rather, it was my preferred kind of fit… kind of storming around with a furrowed brow, abrupt movements, fierce silence… I was mad, after all. And I was justified in being mad; all the things that hadn’t gone the way I WANTED them to go MADE me mad. Not “feeling” heard made me even MADDER.
At this rate of simmer & feeding the fires of indignation, I could have a full blown rage going pretty quick. Here it comes.
My friend interrupted my huffy-puffy-ness with a question: “What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting this way?”
So I let him have it… both barrels of explanation & indignation at all the things that were going WRONG, all the areas I was FRUSTRATED, all the things other people were DOING to antagonize me…
He listened for a minute & then… shrugged his shoulders, made a disinterested (to me) expression, & told me, “It’s your choice.”
And then he walked away. Leaving me speechless. I couldn’t believe it. How could he SAY it was my CHOICE? I was RESPONDING. I was FEELING.
I was, I was, I was… what?
…I was choosing to give myself over to stupid anger. I was feeding it with bits of indignation & throwing the fuel of misunderstanding on as well.. I was working myself up towards a rage under the guise of something happening TO me, completely ignoring that the response was coming from a force of will & my chosen action.
The rebuke of my friend turned into a time of soul-searching. I couldn’t help but hear the whispered conviction of the Holy Spirit, emphasizing, firmly & gently, that this response that I’d conditioned myself to accept as normal & ok & NOT my fault (or my choice), was actually 100% me. It WAS my choice to respond in anger. It WAS my choice to allow the offense to escalate. It WAS my choice to engage in self-pity. It WAS my choice.
Which meant…
I could CHOOSE differently.
Maybe not in my own strength & abilities; its not an easy thing to undue & break out of past patterns of behavior, especially those with such a strong dopamine hit of self-righteous pity & anger. But I could ask Jesus to do a work in me, by the power of the Holy Spirit – to CHOOSE something different. To still FEEL & PROCESS, but not to give myself over to self-indulgently negative, self-focused pity parties, masked with the ugliness of an on-the-edge anger that threatened (or at least made noise about) blowing up & really losing it.
That was A turning point. Not necessarily THE turning point, but A turning point. From that day forward, I would hear my friend’s rebuke, flavored with extra by the Holy Spirit: “It’s your choice.” And because it was my choice, I could CHOOSE differently. Consistently. Choices that led to stronger relationship with my spouse & kids. Choices that would foster relationship, trust, & healthy predictability with others.
And that is still my prayer – that I CHOOSE well, in each moment where I am tempted to fall back into the well worn rut of what is now a 20 year ago path. I don’t want to fall back into that behavior, & neither do I want to lose ground that was gained with a lot of blood, sweat, & tears.
Woke up at the crack of doom to put the final touches on our bags & gather & place all our belongings in the appropriate suitcase. Took our bags downstairs & across the courtyard (sorry for the noise. It’s hard to be quiet when you’re rolling a suitcase across cobblestones) & parked them inside the entryway of Alex & Linda’s building. Linda was ready for us with plenty of coffee & snacks to take with.
You know those last few moments you have with dear (& faraway) friends, those moments before the Uber arrives? Those are precious & those are hard. Together we rehearsed our thankfulness for the time together we had; for the great talks; for the food adventures; for the time shared. Too soon we had to navigate downstairs, grab our bags & then make our way to the sidewalk in front of #13, hoping that the Uber I’d scheduled (& had confirmed the night before) would come on time. Evidently there were threats of major snafus on the roads today as the Deutsche Bahn/transit system went on strike this morning. Woohoo.
Fortunately, our driver was just a minute over his scheduled time, &, after hugs & a tearful goodbye (yes, me) we piled into the back of the car & prepared for the loooong day of travels. Berlin’s new airport isn’t huge, but it is big. Even more fun is trying to figure out WHERE you’re supposed to drop off your luggage, because the system used in most other parts of the world isn’t organized even remotely close to what we know at home. I remembered seeing some numbers when I checked in the night before, & sure enough, those corresponded to the place we were to drop off our checked luggage. BTW – I happened upon a German couple saying their passionate goodbyes outside the entrance to security/what we’d call TSA. It stood out to me because I don’t think I’ve seen a make out session like that one since… maybe ever. The dude (he was staying behind, she was leaving) was left a disheveled mess, in need of a hairbrush & a towel. 2 points for Germany.
With that first exchange in the books, theBean & I made our way towards the gate for the flight that would take us to Munich, where we’d catch a flight to San Francisco, where we’d catch a flight home. Wandered the terminal looking at the snack options & finally decided to go with a version of a salami & cheese on brown bread. When it came time for us to board, we lined up with our carryon & backpacks, only to discover that the Lufthansa lady at the gate had decided we weren’t making it by her with our backpack… that we’d have to check it all the way through. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but the justice part of me was more than a little frustrated by being singled out (Merica!) amongst a virtual plethora of other passengers’ bags bigger & more numerous than our own Lil Samsonite. There was no stopping her, so, we scrambled to put as much of the ‘stuff’ we’d packed in there into my backpack, & sent the bag on its way.
The flight to Munich was uneventful, though I was more than a bit concerned that our international flight to SF had started boarding 10 minutes before we landed in Munich. These concerns were compounded when we discovered our gate was an estimated (thank you AI estimating tool used in the German airports) 20 minutes walk away. To further complicate the issue, I needed to find a WC before we did any fast moving.
We speed walked/jogged through the crowds, & slowly made our way toward the gate. Airline officials lined the spacious hallways, asking questions, then funneling us toward the appropriate lines leading to our eventual gate entrance. Caught our breath & headed down the tunnel toward the plane… where we stood for another 10 minutes waiting to board. Elation.
We made it – shortly we’d be on a plane headed to the US… but alas, our bags did not. At the switchover/customs check in in SF, we discovered that our bags hadn’t made the super-quick connection to Munich. After checking in with our carrier & reporting the issue, we were left with the understanding that NO, the bags didn’t make this trip, but YES, they knew where they were & had a decent guess when they’d show up. First world problems. Sigh.
By this time (14 hours into our day) I was feeling bleary, made worse by the fact that I didn’t sleep on the flight over. TheBean did, so she was in a little better shape, but still… Time passed slowly as we waited for the invite to board the last leg to Reno, but it did eventually pass. After landing at home, we met with the carrier again in the Reno-Tahoe Airport to officially file a missing bags report, & were assured they’d be delivered sometime the next day.
Our Gracer & the girls (Jane Alish & EloWEEZ) picked us up & transported us home. What a joy to hold family after a few weeks – the girls seem to have grown at LEAST 4 inches & 40 pounds apiece (I exaggerate, but you get it.) They came inside & Jane ran around Poppy’s house for a bit as EloWEEZ got herself together in preparation for her final 10 minute trip home. So good.
Home. No place like it.
The aftermath – the next day, 2 of the 3 bags showed up at our front door. The only missing bag? TheBean’s main suitcase. I talked to customer service again & it turns out her bag had always wanted to go to Anchorage, Alaska, so it would, hopefully, come the next day (Saturday) after a late fall excursion to the biggest state in all the land. It did arrive Saturday.
Takeaways:
There is nothing like being physically present, in the room, with friends. I’m thankful for technologies that allow regular & close communications, but it isn’t close to the same.
One thing we heard in every place we went (Frankfurt, Achern/Ottersweier, Oberwesel, Bielefeld, & Berlin) was “Thank you for your encouragement!” I believe it is a superpower given to us to be able to share, authentically & regularly, with the people we interact with. This tangible thankfulness that emerges in the aftermath of a person who’s been encouraged by another, SEEN by another, has given me a new appreciation of Barnabas, the OG “Son of Encouragement.” Makes me want to grow in this area & be more intentional with encouraging others.
The enemy of our souls, the devil, seems to hammer humanity equally, with a barrage of negative thoughts & perspectives about ourselves, how God (& others see us) & to rub in our face our unworthiness, insecurities, inadequacies, & real/perceived failures. THAT is why encouragement, friendship, & real fellowship are so vital for us inside/outside the Church. Doing that, being that, sharing that… helps combat those destructive, hyper-critical voices.
I love to partner in life, love, & work/play with theBean. I KNEW this already, but man, nothing like a 17 day voyage to the other side of the world to remind me of the Good ThingGod gave to me almost 35 (!) years ago.
We’re looking forward to future trips to Germany (& beyond), but for now, we’ll be enjoying home, family, familiar food, friends, & our very own bed.
Thank you all for your prayers, your support, & your ENCOURAGEMENT to us. It helped sustain us in perfect health & good spirits, with everything we could ever need or ask for. You are loved & appreciated.
We met Alex & Linda in the courtyard of the building where our flats are located, & made our way through the maze to one of the adjoining streets to meet our Uber. They typically employ 1 of 4 modes of transportation: walking, riding a bike, hiring an Uber/taxia, or (rarely) taking the public transportation system (combo of buses/S & U-bahn trains.) The driver dropped us off & it was just a short walk to Parma Pizza.To say it was a hole in the wall makes it seem bigger than it was… there were 3 or 4 tables crammed into 2 rooms, & the ‘kitchen’ was literally 2 steps from our table. Alex stepped into the kitchen twice & was reprimanded each time for violating the ‘chef’s’ space, but it’s not like he could access his seat without stepping into the kitchen. Inside of the rooms looked like a half-finished construction site where the workers had gone home for the weekend, leaving a bunch of stuff half-done, with tools & supplies strewn around the room. There were two guys in the kitchen area; one, the owner/chef, the other, a guy who kept sampling the box of wine on the edge of the super tiny refrigerator. He reminded me of someone who was probably a buddy of the owner who comes to hang out at his buddy’s place in the hopes he’ll be able to sponge some free food & drink if he hangs out long enough. The chef guy looked as though he was an Italian photographer just returned from a taxing & oh-so-draining photoshoot somewhere & by the way he acted, it sure didn’t seem like he was happy to have customers. I dubbed him “Artist Guy” & the other guy was “the Leech.”
He finally got around to bringing us our menus & made a big show about the artistry of his pizzas… he took the time to explain several of the pizza options to us, in German & English, even though we already knew what we wanted to order. Once we ordered, he engaged in conversation with the Leech for about 15 minutes, seemingly forgetting we were there. Eventually our drink orders came, with our bottled water & the finest boxed red wine the kitchen had to offer placed hurriedly on the table so Artist guy could get back to his conversation.
He remembered we were there to EAT, so he frantically began to assemble the ingredients for the pizzas we’d ordered on his prep counter & then painstakingly made the pizzas, popping them 1 by 1 into the pizza oven on the far side of the kitchen. Good thing they only had to bake for about 90 seconds. Artist guy deposited the pizzas in front of us & stepped back into the kitchen.
About this time, a younger guy arrived, complete with a dark mullet of curls on his head (theBean said they were the size of the classic pink 1 1/2″ sponge hair roller that hadn’t been brushed out after removing the curlers); he spoke only broken English & his native Italian, & he seemed to be there to do all the jobs Artist guy didn’t want to do.
Pizza was ok – I got a Salamewurst & Tomato & Mozzarella & theBean had a ham pizza (ham put on after the pizza cooked, much to her chagrin & displeasure.) We ate our fill & laughed a lot around the tiny table in the bizarre pizza place/construction zone while the Leech drank more wine & the Mullet guy went through the motions of cleaning & puttering around looking for something.
We had a blast… time with Alex & Linda is always the BEST time. Good conversations on a variety of topics: Jesus, church life, health, exercise, conspiracy theories, Joe Rogan, specialty meal replacement shakes, work (Alex works in a start-up that does high end health supplements & Linda is a supervisor in the educational system, focusing much of her life on helping foreigners & others trying to make the best of school in Germany.)
Alex had us rolling with his active & quick sense of humor & Linda’s joy & love of life are evident in every conversation we had with her. Truly dear & much loved friends.
After our meal, since it wasn’t raining (YES) we decided to stretch our legs & walk home through the dark back streets of Berlin’s Kreuzberg & Neukölln neighborhoods; it only took about 30 minutes & it was really refreshing, esp. considering how much we had sat around with little activity the first week of our trip. Went up to their flat for more talks & a late night glass of wine… eventually made our way across the courtyard to our flat & were in our room a minute later. It was a good day.
Woke up late & headed to the Cafe Bread for coffee & a breakfast pastry… guy from yesterday wasn’t working (bummer) & but the new girl hooked us up & quickly as we settled into our spot to read, enjoy our coffee & people watch. Alex worked until 1 p.m. & Linda until 5, so theBean & I went for a walk through the neighborhood & picked up some supplies from the local grocery store. When Alex called us, we met him outside at an Uber & made our way downtown for some “on the go” site-seeing & a quick stop for a ‘snack’ at Goldie’s Smashburger&.I’ve had smashburgers in the US & they were ok… nothing compared to a good 3×3 animal style, protein style, w/extra grilled onions & cheese, no tomato, no spread, ketchup & mustard please @ In-N-Out burger, but ok.
This was > ok. This was incredible. Keep in mind, we stopped here for a snack… & also because we hadn’t had a burger our whole time in Germany. So of course, we ended up getting doubles, which were the size of my two fists together. We came at the perfect time, so no line. By the time we were done eating, the line had wandered down the block. We crushed our burgers (so good) & took turns sampling the fries until we couldn’t eat any more. This was, by far, the food highlight of our trip.
After eating waaaay too much for a snack, we wanted to do some walking, so we made our way through the streets til we finally got to the old Templehof Airport (check out the link for Templehof above), the site of the Berlin airdropsthat saved Berlin in 1948 & 1949 (go USA). This massive former airport is now a recreation area, where miles of former taxi & runways have been turned into places for exercise, (bikes, roller blades, scooters, & foot power), with large grassy areas here & there for picnics, kid-friendly recreation, & a couple designated dog parks. Very cool, & lots of places to stop & read about the history of the place. Spent about 90 minutes walking & ended up on the far side of the airport, where we (thank the Lord) found bathrooms that were open & available for usage, without any fee. (NOTE: most of the time to use a toilet in a store/restaurant in Germany/Europe, it will cost you at least 1 Euro. Put that on your list of Even More Things to be thankful for at home.)
Caught an Uber home, with just enough time to rest, change clothes, & meet Linda to catch another Uber to our dinner place, Crazy Kim’s Korean. We got seated by Kim herself at a table in the entry way, & placed our orders. This restaurant was one they hadn’t been to before, but our coming to visit gave them an opportunity. Food was decent & there were 15 appetizer bites brought to our table (no choice in the matter) & it was fun to try different things. For our main dishes, I got bulgogi & theBean got Korean short-ribs.
But the highlight of the night, for me, was the 2 women who came in shortly after us. One of them HAD to be the owner’s daughter & the other seemed to be a beloved best friend, because Kim doted on the super fancy & chic ladies, dressed in what were probably pretty fashionable (definition: super weird clothes that real people don’t wear) all the while snapping photos of themselves, each other, & the little pocket sized dog the daughter brought in in her purse. If you’ve ever seen wanna-be IG ‘influencers’in action, you have an idea of our entertainment for the duration of dinner. They helped themselves to all sorts of things behind the bar, often leaving their table to walk around the building, often retreating into the “private” & “Staff only”, only to emerge later & hit the bar again. So. Funny.
Finished dinner & made our way to our Uber outside. The drive home only took 5 minutes, so we had to be close, but it was raining & we’d already walked about 8 miles earlier in the day. As it was our last night, we made our way up to Alex & Linda’s flat again, & sat around their table trying to pack as many conversations as possible into the time we had left. So precious.
We sadly made our way back to our flat to sleep the short night’s sleep that comes before the departure flight home. We’d made plans to come to their flat in the morning for a cup of coffee & hugs goodbye, so we knew we’d get to see them at least one more time before we left.
It was a super late night, & we were very tired but still didn’t get to bed until about 1 am (!) We slept in til about 9:30, & theBean & I woke up to the smell of good German kaffee delivered through a french press. TheBean & Julia worked together in the kitchen to craft a mashup of German/American breakfasts: scrambie eggs, bacon, good German bread; cucumbers; salami & cheese. And we laughed. So much.
With the crush & press of activity that is coming, & out of a desire to relish our time with our Julia, Friday was very much a Sabbath rest day for us. We hung out at her house & talked, sat on the couches & read our books or magazines, then broke into spontaneous conversations, then read some more. Finally we decided there were a couple (few?) things we wanted to do (like plan dinner) so we got ready & headed out to a specialty store for some desserts & then to the grocery store to buy supplies for dinner.
We bought 3 desserts to share – a black forest cake, chocolate cream cake, & sour cherry pie. These were glorious, esp. because German (most European desserts actually) aren’t overly loaded down with sugar & aren’t sweet-sweet. They’re tasty & subtle & you can taste the chocolate, the chocolate cream, the body of the cakes, the cherries, the subtleties of the flavors in a special way that doesn’t flood your body with sugar & cloying sweetness. I don’t eat dessert at home for that reason, but I readily jumped in to the ‘sampling party.’
The girls decided that they wanted to try to make a version of theBean’s white chicken chili soup, which is WAY more daunting than it sounds. One doesn’t just purchase American style food supplies at a German grocery store, often because the foods/staples we have/use are not available (or in some cases, not legal because of additives, chemicals, etc) here. So, in true theBean style, she improvised. Her white chicken chili soup turned into white bean & beef/pork/Italian sausage & greenish chiles soup. (BTW, theBean doesn’t agree with my naming of the soup, but this is my account of reality, so there’s that.) It was significantly different from her normal creation, but it was good. We turned on the music (theBean’s “Joanne” playlist from Spotify) & ate & laughed.
We turned our attention back to the desserts, (yes, btw, desserts were harmed & significantly diminished during the making of our dinner. But we’re adults, so forks out!) After dinner was clean up time & then we resumed our spots on the couch for more talks until it was time for bed. As Saturday afternoon & evening are spoken for (coffee & dinner with Julia’s parents & family), we wanted to get another good night’s sleep, then have a good breakfast in the morning & hopefully do a load of wash before we head to the Foursquare LIVE pastors’ conference.
I think (know?) the most difficult parts of this trip are ‘the limits.’ We are limited in our time/availability & there are many, many dear friends here in different parts of Germany that we won’t be able to connect with, not out of a lack of desire to do so, but because we are ‘limited.’ (I much prefer the idea/reality of ‘limits’ vs. ‘busyness.’ ) Everything we have said “YES” to for this trip, requires a very difficult “NO” somewhere. That goes for ALL of us, in ALL of our lives; some of our greatest struggles in life/in our schedules come from us ignoring the reality that we have limits on our time, energy, resources, etc, & we run ourselves ragged attempting to have it all, do it all, see it all, accomplish it all, often with destructive or even tragic consequences for our physical, emotional, spiritual, & relational health & well-being.
I’m thankful for the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality lessons we’ve learned over the years, esp. when it comes to “Embracing God’s Gift of Limits.” It allows us to be fully present where we are & to acknowledge we CANNOT do everything we’d like to do… & embracing our limits, to me, equals embracing the fact that we’re human BEINGS not humans DOING. In a perfect world, we’d be able to be here for 6 weeks (or more?!) & be with each & every one of our dear friends in Frankfurt & beyond… into Poland… & Austria… &… you get the picture.
To all of our dear friends in Germany & beyond – you are deeply loved, & we hope to be able to see & hug you again very soon.
The pictures below are our desserts & a random shot out the window as we drove next to some beautiful vineyards (trust me! They are really there.)
It was a beautiful day. We call it “Friday.” And now sleep.
Sleep. It’s what we needed after a “i’m barely able to keep my eyes open but I’m pushing through it” travel day. Ended up crashing at about 8:30 p.m. according to my never-too-happy-with-my-sleep scoreGarmin watch. And still, it tells me we got 11 hours (!) , albeit with a middle of the night “who/where/what am I doing?” moment followed by a couple hours of both of us trying to convince ourselves & each other that “Yes, we were indeed Ready, Willing, & not quite Able to return to the Land of Slumber.” But eventually we both dozed off again & slept well until about 9 a.m.
Woke up to the smell of coffee & a spinach, bacon, onion, & shrooms frittata graciously prepared by the gifted Eddy & Laura. (In their 1st year of marriage, Laura made 365 different dinner meals for Eddy. For reals. She cooks like that & does mathematics {M.I.T.} too, ladies & gentlemen. But I digress…)
All the ‘kids’ (Taylor, Elliott, Max, & Kira) were either at school or in their space doing school online, so we settled down to Psalm 90, a prayer of thanksgiving, & to a couple hours of talks, interspersed with coffee & water refills & lots of laughter.
We talked about family & the changes that come over time. About seasons of life & church, the Working Genius assessment & how it can help within the context of life, relationships, church & work; God’s continued process of growth & healing in our lives; vulnerability, friendship, partnership, marriage, etc. Could have gone on for days.
The ‘boys’ come home from/finished up with school. I say ‘boys’ but they’re 20 & 18… young men.. both with a killer sense of humor, & definite/obvious gifts & applied intelligence. Taylor & Elliot added all sorts of joy & insight & perspectives to our conversations.
In addition to pastoring a church Eddy is the VP at a worldwide company that does digital platforms for businesses, so he had to tackle some work meetings. My theBean & I started the process of getting ready, packing up & preparing for today’s travel by train to Baden-Baden late this afternoon to see our Julia.
The 90 minute train trip to Baden-Baden was uneventful & Julia met us right on the train exit. It’s been 7 years since we’ve seen her in person (we text & send Marco Polo’s to each other on the regular) & it was so good to see her! She swept us (& our luggage) into her car & transported us the 20 minutes or so to the house of her sister Linda & her incredible brother in law, Heiko. We first met them back in 2008 when they escorted teenage Julia to the US. For Hillsiders – imagine Cole had a German cousin who loved to cook & help as much as he does, (church, home, & Royal Rangers,) & add in a bevy of ATV’s, & you get a glimpse of this man.
Also joining us @ the Casa de Tilgner (Heiko & Linda’s last name) were Julia & LInda’s parents, Klaus & Pia. Such gracious people who adopted us into their tribe when Julia originally came to stay with us. What a joy to be brought to the table of a family to celebrate life, eat great food (tonight it was round after round of different types of Flammkuchen – savory, veggie, & sweet) & tell stories, laugh til it hurt, & catch up on what God is doing & what is happening in their lives.
The time today (& the times over the last couple of days with the Dueck family) really make Acts 2:42 come to life… the powerful connection with God & each other that happens around shared meals, + shared time, space, & experiences. It requires that we give of ourselves, that we stretch into sharing a type of ‘divine hospitality’ that reaches beyond the comfortable & invites the Holy Spirit to the table in a manner that develops, establishes, & maintains kingdom of God family connections. This is the way.
Around 11 pm, Julia drove us to her flat – so cute. After a quick tour, we headed to bed & ended up crashing pretty good shortly after midnight. Woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee (Julia has grown a lot & even incorporates coffee into her daily routine. If you know, you know.) I decided to finish this post (yesterday’s/Day 2’s) post & then dive into the day of fun, relaxation, & good talks.
Thank you for your prayers – we are seeing the goodness of God & divine appointments set up for us on the daily.
The pictures are Julia, theBean & Pia; theBean, Julia, Pia, Klaus, me, Heiko, & Linda; Klaus & me
We flew out of San Francisco around 2:30 pm on Tuesday, which I think was yesterday, but after an 11 hour, overnight flight, where I may have gotten 3 1/2 hours of sleep. Very fortunate that theBean & I had an empty seat between us (thank you Jesus for the unforeseen blessing) so we could stretch out a bit. Spent the last couple hours of the flight watching The Office (including THIS gem), & mentally preparing for the sometimes grueling first day in country, where we do our best to stay awake & push through the urges to sleep/lay down/succumb to travel shock.
Passport control was a breeze, though very slow. One of the American guys in front of us (worked for the US State Dept. He even had the backpack for it,) was incredulous at “the poor customer service” of the German passport control officers. Dude. Time to chill. You aint in Kansas any more.
Bags arrived safely (thank you again Jesus) & wee went outside & caught a taxi to the home of our friends, Eddy & Laura Dück. After a quick trip, we settled into the room we’re staying in tonight (thank you Taylor – Eddy & Laura’s oldest son – for giving up your room for the night.) Then it was time for coffee & talks with Eddy. Loved getting to catch up on the last few years of happenings & to hear what God has been & is currently doing in & through the Dück family. Eddy had to dive into some work, so theBean & I took turns showering & getting freshened up & getting ready to re-meet the Dück kids (Taylor, Ellott, Max, & Kira) when they get home from school. That’s where we are right now.
I just wanted to let you know we made it – we’re doing well – we’re loving the talks & fun we’re having so far as the late teen age kids arrive home, one by one, from their school. Tomorrow we’ll hang out here in Frankfurt until about 3 pm, at which point we’ll head to the train station & make our way to our dear Julia in Achern (southwest corner of Germany, near the French border.)
DAY 5 – Finished my Monday off with a dinner at a great Sicilian restaurant with Jochen & his wife Brigidda & Tim & Deborah – we dined, Italian style, over a several hour period, & the food was really great.
Except it came back up a few hours later… with interest. I’ll spare you the gory details, but I have done more than my time holding on to the toilet to keep from falling off the world. I think it was the gnocchi & its sauce that must have done it. Finally went to sleep about 4, & then woke up early Tuesday for a Skype & headed back to bed until 1.
DAY 6 Felt a lot better after waking up – good enough to grab some coffee & bread, & then get cleaned up in preparation for going bowling with the Kern family before the Deutschland/Brasil football game. Julia likes to bowl, & was feeling so confident that she decided to make a bet with me: WHEN she won, I would have to sing the German National anthem outside (which is never done, save during the World Cup.) And if by some miraculous chance I won, she would drink an espresso, with no milk or sugar. For her to propose that as her ‘punishment’ for losing gives you some insight to how much she detests the taste of coffee. The closest she comes to drinking a hot beverage close to coffee is 4 fingers of warm milk & 1 finger of hot coffee.
So, of course, I won – both games. I posted a video of her drinking her coffee on Facebook if you’re interested.
After bowling, we grabbed a doner, burrito style, & headed to Heiko & Linda’s to watch the game, which started at 10 p.m. local time. I even stood & sang the national anthem with the family. Instead of ‘game’ I should say, the rout.. None of us had ever seen anything like it in such a high level of soccer. After the 3rd goal, we were almost speechless… not quite, as my hosts made sure to yell their lungs out. I have to say, every time the TV showed Brazil’s fans weeping in the stands, I laughed really hard. Evidently, it is NOT just a game to them, but something more. And it was funny to watch.
Can’t wait for the final on Sunday – I’m pulling for an all European final – Deutschland/Netherlands.
This is a short blog – I didn’t do much since last night except barf & bowl, & it is now 1:20 a.m. So, I hope to write a bit more tomorrow before I head back into Frankfurt.
Many blessings to you – & thank you for the prayers.
Woke up early on Sunday & got ready for church – on a whim, I decided to try to FaceTime theBean (it was midnight at home, so I thought my chances of catching her awake were slim to none.) Imagine my surprise when she answered on the first ring. There’s nothing in the world like the sound & sight of myOne. Our brief connection made the rest of the day seem doable.
After a quick breakfast, we headed out to church. Actually, it was to a regional church service – every 8 weeks or so, the 5 Foursquare churches in the area get together for a joint service. On a rotational basis, each church takes part of the responsibility for elements of the service (kids ministries, hospitality, worship, announcements, preaching/teaching, etc.) The reason behind the get-together is two-fold:
Fellowship & relationship building – there aren’t many Christians in Germany, so opportunities for getting together with other Christians are rare. The kind of encouragement & ‘life boost’ that comes from these get-togethers is huge.
Many of the “free” (non-Catholic/Lutheran) churches in Germany are small – 40 people & under. Partnering with other churches allows them to share resources & do more than they could do if they were organizing a gathering on their own. It’s a cool picture of parts of the body of Christ functioning well for the benefit & growth of the whole body. It really makes the self-focused, “doing church my way for my church’s benefit” that is emerging in the Western Church seem pretty silly, petty, & shallow.
Tim spoke on the 3 marks of a disciple from Mark 3 – emphasizing that disciples have 1) been with Jesus; 2) been sent by Jesus; 3) have lives marked by the power of God as evidenced by declaration of the gospel & overthrow of the kingdom of darkness. He did a great job bringing things into a context that made sense regardless of our nation of origin/language. Made me proud, & I’m loving watching he & his wife Deborah fall in love with the people, church, & nation of Deutschland.
I was whisked away right after church to the house of Julia’s sister, Linda, & her husband Heiko. I haven’t seen them since right before they were married a couple years back, so I really looked forward to catching up with them. They spent the morning prepping a BBQ for us – & goodness, it was tasty. We ate steaks, white sausage, tater salad – German style, cucumber salad, & a kind of meat that came from France that no one really translated. It was French, but even so, it was palatable. Here’s a picture of Heiko & Julia,representing Nevada & the Wolf Pack, surrounded by German flags. I had to tell them to put their index fingers up to make “#1” – because in Germany/most of the rest of the world, they start counting numbers with the thumb being #1. They were happy to look like ‘real Americans.”
We’d barely finished lunch when Linda decided to take us on a brief walk through the forest near their home, overlooking a green, tree-filled valley. Didn’t walk too fast – didn’t want to hurl. It was a beautiful, refreshing walk through the trees – except for the 50 meter section where the midges showed up in force. Mr. Frodo, I feel your pain. I ended up with several bites on my right leg – evidently that one is much tastier than the left.
Unfortunately, I had to leave early from the family dinner to head out. Julia drove me to meet Jochen (the regional leader) & Tim & their families for a dinner in a local biergarten in the village of Ulm. Think Great Basin-Sparks outside sitting area x3 & covered with a well-trimmed & lush grass patio blanket, surrounded by 30 foot tall trees. It was nice. Over the pub-brewed beer, we discussed Foursquare, both the US & Deutsch churches, & went back & forth asking/answering questions… there were a few times as we talked that I could see that some of the political/bureaucratic activities that unfortuntely happen as denominations get larger really struck a nerve, & gave me new & fresh eyes to reconsider what has been our (US) normal for church life.
For the most part, we schemed different ways for an interchange to take place between the US & German churches… & have a couple potential dates on the calendar for next year. We’re meeting to firm them up over dinner tonight.
Got back to the house of Kern in time for a snack – salami, cheeze, pretzel bread, & some vino from a local vintner. One of my highlights from this trip has been time around the tables, both in the kitchen & on the patio, with the Kern family: Klaus, Pia, & dear Julia. They’ve taken great measures to ‘stop life” & make the days I’m here very, very special. Words are inadequate to describe the special, special gift that this has been to me, & I am very, very thankful for this ‘chosen family’ who have become some of ‘my people” on the other side of the world.
The storm hit about 10 p.m. Rain. Thunder & lightning. Wind. Reports of a tornado touchdown in nearby Rammstein. It was hot, humid & loud. Made it very, very hard to sleep. I guess I eventually drifted off around 2:30 a.m., as my last iMessage to theBean was at about 2.
Woke up on Day 5 (4.5 for blog purposes) with a start at 8. FaceTimed theBean again as she was off to bed. Weirdness to be starting & ending our days at exactly opposite times. Winding down while the other is winding up. But the 9 hour time difference is cool too, as it provides a great communication window. This morning, I wished I was home getting ready for sleep in my own bed. And I would have turned on the air. TheBean told me she turned the air off upstairs because she likes to be warm. Evidently, 90 degrees in our room is just about right. No exaggeration, no kidding. That girl.
My man bag has died. I bought it 7 years ago in Frankfurt, & it has survived travels all over the world, carrying my lappy, journal, notebook & all my other ‘go-tos’. It has holes in the sides & bottom, & it no longer zips. Therefore, I decided to replace it – Julia took me shopping a couple of places until I picked out the newby. Here it is.
Found out that the store we were shopping in had a familiar name, so I decided to get a pic of the sign with Julia in it.
A successful shopping trip deserves a reward, so Julia & I drove a whole 7 minutes to get out of town & go to McDonalds. It was an experiment really – I wanted to see if the beef in the McDonalds burgers tastes the same as it does at home. Got a McDouble w/extra ketchup. Turns out, they taste totally different. It might be that they use Australian beef here like they do in Eastern Europe. Not sure, but the burger tasted… beefier? More real? Its not like I eat at McDonalds at home very often; more like 2 or 3 times a year. Maybe it was because I was a hungry elf & anything would taste good. It was time well-spent.
Picked up a couple of gifts & then headed to the house to study a bit for next Sunday (I’m preaching in Mainz, Germany at the church of Jan von Wille, a pastor & the national leader of Foursquare Deutschland. I’m doing a variation on the last message I preached at home: We Are On A Mission From God, text John 20:19-22. For the last hour or so, Julia & I have been sitting at the table, not talking, working on our laptops. She’s my kind of people, & I’m so thankful for this wonderful adopted German daughter. Love being her Ami-Papi (the name she gave me, means “American Dad.”) I’ll finish my Monday blog sometime tonight or tomorrow morning, after I live it. :)
I close this blog before I head to take a nap with a picture of the old Man-Bag next to the new one. Distinctly heard the old one say to the new one, “Carry on.”
This post will be a sum up of the last 2 days – life has been busy, & it’s been very late by the time bedtime comes… so late that I have prioritized sleep & rest over blogging. But tonight, I’ll at least give the “sum up” version of what’s up so that you can be praying for me.
Day #2 – Independence Day began for me with a great breakfast – lots of coffee & a paleo-friendly plate of food which included cucumbers, carrots, hummus, an egg, & an oven-baked peach sweetened with honey & balsamic. Great stuff.
Even better were the talks over food – I have to say, one of my favorite things is being able to pick up with friends after a couple years worth of life & ‘catch up” without missing a beat. Alex & Linda are those kinds of friends, & I am coming away rich & blessed from our conversations.
The time came for me to head to Baden-Baden (Southwest Germany) for my next round of commitments – I bought a train ticket & took an Uber ride to the main staition. My train was delayed for a 1/2 hour, so I had some rodeo burgers from Burger King & then caught the train.
Which was full. To overflowing. Turns out, one of the passenger carts was condemned/closed, so there were more people on the train than seats. Which meant that my place for the entire 90 minute trip was standing in a hallway directly outside the bathroom. With no A/C. And with an extra pungent toilet to boot. It took all of 10 seconds for me to start sweating, & within 10 minutes, I was soaked. I tried to help the problem by fanning myself & using paper towels to wipe away the perspiration. But to no avail. After soaking (I could wring out the towels) my 5th set of 3 towels, I decided, “what the heck,” & sweated like a beast for the remainder of the ride. The arrival in Baden-Baden was celebrated with great joy.
Julia picked me up & took me to her family’s home in Achern, about 20 minutes away. I quickly cooled down & caught up with my adopted German daughter. On the way, I found out that the plans for the night included watching the Germany/France World Cup match with a crowd of people. Boom!. After freshening up, Julia & I headed to the home where we would watch the soccer game – it was broadcast on a big screen about 8×10 feet, in a room with about 30 people in it. And it was hot.
And the best part was the people watching. Everyone, ladies included, are hard core fans. The lady in the picture looks sweet & kind & self-controlled. And she was. Until Germany was close to scoring. Then, she would jump & scream at the screen along with everyone else. It was beautiful, & would make the most ardent SEC Football fan proud.
SIDE NOTE: I’m really proud of myself too – I was able to sneak a photo without even looking. I may even be able to take a selfie at some point. But I won’t. Because, hey, guys shouldn’t take selfies.
After Germany’s victory, we ended the day with pizza & I headed to my room to FaceTime theBean & then head to sleep. Waaaaaay too late, especially knowing I had a 7 a.m. wakeup call the next day.
Day #3 – I woke up right before my alarm & decided to FaceTime my girlfriend. Because I can. Personal connections, even for a few moments, make the weeks apart more bearable. Julia’s mom is an incredible hostess, & prepared a great German breakfast – kaffee, rolls, jam, meats & cheeses. The best. Benny, my ride to today’s pastor’s meeting showed up way too soon, & I had to leave to make the 2 hour trek to Engstingen (near Stuttgart.)
The weather was rainy & overcast – which meant a well – needed respite from the hot. We arrived at the pastor’s meeting, & there were about 9 churches represented, & approximately 25 people in total. The program for the day included food (yes) plenty of coffee (double yes) & discussions led by my good friend Tim Clark (triple yes.) He talked from Exodus 3 on the calling of Moses… he’d intended to develop the idea of “Pastor Moses” but we never got beyond the calling. Our meeting developed into a Q&A session, with many people weighing in & speaking “real-talk” from their hearts. We finished about 4 hours later with prayer for each other. It was a divinely appointed time that was very impactful for all involved. I am blessed beyond words to have been with the men & women living & serving on the front lines of the church in Germany. They are true heroes of the faith – living faithful, obedient lives in the face of great opposition. These are Hebrews 11 people.
I ate too much blackforest cake at the meeting, so I got a little car sick on the way back to Baden-Baden. It wasn’t that we were traveling at 110 mph. (170 kmh) Truly. I managed not to barf in the back seat, & we arrived back in Baden-Baden just in time for Julia’s mom’s chili. And I was feeling better. So yay for me.
We ended up spending the rest of the evening (about 5 hours) eating & hanging out on the back porch. Talking about important things: theology, asking questions, joking, & sharing meaning of life interactions. Klaus & Pia, Julia’s parents, have blessed me so much in the short time I’ve been here. Can’t wait for the next 2 days of fun, laughter, & great, great talks.
I finally stole away to write this at about midnight. Klaus & I have been watching the Belgium/Costa Rica World Cup match out of the corner of our eye, & as of now, there is still no winner. No matter. I will wake up tomorrow & know. And then Tuesday, there is a late-night fest at a friend’s home to watch Brazil/Deutschland. It starts at 10 p.m. local time, so we will be up LATE.
Tomorrow is church – Tim is speaking, & I don’t have an explicit assignment, which means I get to show up & talk to people. Easy peezy. I love this place. I aim to blog again tomorrow – please know, if I wrote down everything that happened in the last 2 days, it would fill more books than you would want to read. But these are the highlights. And I am a thankful & blessed man. And one of the best parts of life is sharing it with brothers & sisters in Christ from Germany.
Please pray for me as you think of it. Many blessings & much love to you!
My flights to San Francisco & then to Frankfurt were on time… early even. For the 11 hour flight to Frankfurt, I ended up next to a burly Russian bear of a man. He claimed the center seat’s armrests & didn’t give them up for the entire flight.
Either I haven’t flown United in a long time or my memory of palatable airplane food is revisionist history – both dinner & ‘breakfast’ this morning went largely uneaten, in large part to a) my inability to discern WHAT it was I was eating & b) the gnarly gnarly odors coming from the food trays. I ate yesterday, thanks. I’m good.
Claimed my bags (yes!) & navigated out to the U-Bahn – I had confirmed with Alex that I’d be going to the Hauptwache (main station) & waiting until I heard from him, so I followed the plan & grabbed an authentic German delicacy, “Coke Light” from the McDonald’s. And I waited, read, people watched. And then I got Alex’s call. Jump on a U1, U2 or U3 (UBahn trains) & get off at Hueglestrasse. And then wait for instructions. Man. It seemed like I was James Bond for a second.
After getting off on Hueglestrasse, I waited at the Rewe (local supermarket) for the Uber taxi driver to pick me up. Uber is a phenomena we experienced in San Francisco over spring break – & I’m really glad its made its way to Germany. Uber are run by private citizens with 2010 or newer cars – & they serve as an on-demand taxi service. I was picked up by my driver & delivered to Alex & Linda’s home in about 20 minutes.
Words can’t describe the joy I feel at reconnecting with Alex & Linda – a very special couple who we hit it off with in 2007– &, on top of that, the joy of being able to be in their home again. Alex was at the dentist when I arrived, so I had a glass of water & took some time with Linda to catch up on the happenings of life for the last 3 years. Linda is a teacher – & she is a bundle of energy, very passionate about education… but even more so, she is passionate about Jesus. With her job in the German school system, she gets paid to share the gospel – to give students an understanding of what Christianity is – & I can’t think of a better messenger than her. If you are a Hillsider, let me describe Linda for you, using people in our church family as examples of a little of what she’s like. Imagine crossing Katy D & Danae L – & you get a little insight as to the kind of person Linda is. Alex arrived home & our talks were precious – pointed, raw, real, & full of wonder. I love these 2.
Tomorrow I’m off to Baden-Baden to see our dear Julia, our adopted daughter who lives near the Germany/France border… Julia lived with us for about 6 months, then came back & visited for about 2 more months. Can’t wait to see that girl & her family too. Also, we’ll be connecting with the regional pastors for a youth group/youth leaders event. Saturday, we’re heading to a town on the Swiss border called “Engstingen.” It’s a one-day gathering of pastors from all over the southwestern/south central region of Germany. Then Sunday, I will be joining a gathering of 5 churches for their monthly ‘celebration’ service.
My man bag has died. I bought it 7 years ago in Frankfurt, & it has survived travels all over the world, carrying my lappy, journal, notebook & all my other ‘go-tos’. It has holes in the sides & bottom, & it no longer zips. Therefore, I decided to replace it – Julia took me shopping a couple of places until I picked out the newby. Here it is.
