Independence & Freedom…

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Maybe its the reading of historical documents (that’s a Galaxy Quest shout out for the uninitiated. If you haven’t seen it, if you don’t yet own it, I heartily recommend that you rectify that ASAP…) that has prompted this train of thought…

I’ve been pondering the quest for “Independence” & what it means, especially in comparison to the concept of “Freedom” discussed in the Bible, esp. in the book of Galatians. (WARNING: This is a plug for a book. I’d recommend you pick up Traveling Light. I have a couple of extra copies if you’d like to borrow one. And discuss it :).)

It seems with both “independence” & “freedom” there is an understanding, albeit a misguided one, that to be independent & to be free means to cast off all boundaries, restraints, government, authority, & responsibility towards… kinda like the Soup Dragons & their lyrical declaration:

I’m free, to do what I want, any old time…

This thought process came up yesterday while I was sitting with the fam watching Hancock. The theatre was 1/3 full, but the noise during the movie was incredible. I’m not talking about the responses to the movie; I’m speaking of people on their cellphones – talking out loud. The steady stream of “you just got a text” phone beeps. The three crying baby/toddlers whose parents wouldn’t take them out of the theatre to ‘hug it out’. And why is all this ok? One person’s response to a request to please keep it down: “It’s a free country!”

The John Adams book has given me a pretty vivid picture of a man who, for the desire to be able to govern himself (& for the people of his state/country to be able to do the same,) spent parts/most of 10 years of his life separated from his wife & children – living in often hostile European nations attempting to negotiate with foreign governments for the right to be free. To self-govern. A sacrifice that he was repaid for with scorn, slander, libel, & public mockery… All so we could live in a ‘free country.’

Independence & freedom don’t relieve us of responsibility toward or for our interactions with other people – it actually reminds us that we ARE connected to others. And that our decisions & choices have consequences for us & for others, consequences that the “independent” & “free” have to think through, because to be truly free, we need to freely exercise self-control, self-restraint instead of majoring in self-indulgence & selfishness. Otherwise, its not independence or freedom we experience – it’s people insisting on their own rights to the violation of others. It’s people pushing their own agendas, without regard for how what they want will affect others…It’s living as virtual children, focused only on our own desires for immediate gratification, & not understanding why anyone else has an issue with it…

Happy Independence Day.

A look back…

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One of the things I enjoy most in life is reading – one of the genres that I am focusing on is US History – specifically the period from the time settlers came across the ocean to the “New World” through the war of 1812… so right now, I’m reading John Adams – & am learning quite a bit about the self-sacrifice that Adams, along with Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, & myriad others chose in order to see a loose band of states become a United & unified country.

A highlight has been reading the correspondence that took place between Adams & his wife, Abigail; I love to hear (ok, read) the perspective of individuals in the beginning stages of leaving behind the government of England for the hope of something better. Especially interesting is the wide-spread discontent in the months leading up to the Declaration of Independence, expressed in articles such as Common Sense by Thomas Paine.

Adams notes that while Paine was able to rally people by identifying the discontent with England & the monarchy, he (Adams) was concerned because Paine (& others) seemed to have a ‘better hand at pulling down than building” up. Meaning, its a lot easier to criticize, undermine, & foment rebellion (pull down) than it is to be a part of building something once the ‘tyrants’ have been removed. It’s a point he revisits over & over & over throughout the book – & its especially poignant after the Declaration has been signed, & the newly formed USA is attempting to garner recognition, support, & trade partners…

Lots of food for thought… & insight into the character of humanity…

Thoughts from Peterson…

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I came across an interview with a guy that really causes me to think – here’s an excerpt:

Repentance, dying to self, submission—these are not very attractive hooks to draw people into the (Christian) faith.

I think the minute you put the issue that way you’re in trouble. Because then we join the consumer world, and everything then becomes product designed to give you something. We don’t need something more. We don’t need something better. We’re after life. We’re learning how to live.

I think people are fed up with consumer approaches, even though they’re addicted to them. But if we cast the evangel in terms of benefits, we’re setting people up for disappointment. We’re telling them lies.

This is not the way our Scriptures are written. This is not the way Jesus came among us. It’s not the way Paul preached. Where do we get all this stuff? We have a textbook. We have these Scriptures and most of the time they’re saying, “You’re going the wrong way. Turn around. The culture is poisoning.”

Do we realize how almost exactly the Baal culture of Canaan is reproduced in American church culture? Baal religion is about what makes you feel good. Baal worship is a total immersion in what I can get out of it. And of course, it was incredibly successful. The Baal priests could gather crowds that outnumbered followers of Yahweh 20 to 1. There was sex, there was excitement, there was music, there was ecstasy, there was dance. “We got girls over here, friends. We got statues, girls, and festivals.” This was great stuff. And what did the Hebrews have to offer in response? The Word…

You can read the article in its entirety HERE

Summer…

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It’s hard to remember how cold it was just a couple of months ago. Especially when its 95 in the shade of my porch, & the only respite is a hot breeze that feeds the desire to go inside & hide until it goes away.

Rollercoasters are fun to ride – esp. when you don’t quite know just when the car you’re in is going to jerk down in a big rush… the same can’t be said for the rollercoasters of life.

I meant to do something spontaneous today & it turns out that by the time I was ready for the spontaneity, it was time for me to go plan my little escapade… I tried to plan it out, but it just didn’t happen. Maybe tomorrow. Or Thursday. I’m leaning towards something spontaneous on Thursday.

The anticipation I feel waiting for something to come in the mail is rivaled by all the emotions I felt awaiting Christmas. Or my birthday. Or the opening of the LOTR trilogy. I love eBay purchases.

Wondering about the AAA baseball team coming our way, which was confirmed by the way by Destro’s actually WORKING on the stadium that is being built in downtown Reno. I can’t wait. & hope to get season tickets to be enjoyed with friends. I love baseball. I wonder why that is?

July 11 & 18th seem to be big days for the next round of ‘new’ TV shows to come out. Like Stargate Atlantis. Monk. And other stuff. That’s only a week away. Yay.

I’m still working on my people pleasing post.

Baby Todd could entertain me for hours with her head bobbing & Harpo Marx face. I could use it about now too. When life is out of perspective, there’s nothing like Baby Todd for a little levity. And she thinks I’m cool. Which shouldn’t be a negative reflection on her, as she’s a baby, & doesn’t know any better.

There’s lots of heavy stuff in life. Expectations of self are up there with the heaviest.

Reading in silence is one of life’s greatest pleasures, right up there with Fantasy Football. Only 1 more month, baby.

I wonder why I have an opinion on everything, & a strong one at that? Truly. What is it?

Facebook buries MySpace.

Risking intimacy buries being an island. I’ve done both. I’m off to some spontaneity…

the dance…

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Had a flashback today… in my later high school years, I invited a girl I liked to go to one of the Significant Dances that my school sponsored – as opposed to the High Schools that make every dance a major event…

We had 2.

As I said, I liked the girl, but didn’t really have delusions of grandeur or thoughts that Somehow, Someway, she’d get the hots for me. I thought she was fun to hang out with. So I asked her to the dance.

We went in street clothes (vs. tuxedo & gown) to dinner at Two Guys from Italy on the corner of Moana & South Virginia (it’s gone now…) I thought Irish coffee sounded really good, so I ordered 2 – had no idea that it had whiskey in it. And the fool waiter brought them without even asking for or checking ID’s… with 2 refills each. I only found out that they had whiskey when my nose started feeling fuzzy, & the bill was $3 for each of the specialty drinks (true, inexpensive, but this was 1987. The Old Days.) I thought that a good time was had by all.

We went back to her place & changed into our specialty outfits… & went to the dance. And sat. Turns out, once we got TO the dance, she didn’t WANT to dance. Said her feet hurt. And she was tired. So she sat at a table & talked to her friends. Sigh.

I didn’t quite know what went wrong – she wouldn’t even get pictures to commemorate our great evening… I kept checking in about every 10 minutes to see if she changed her mind. She didn’t. It was rough. I had the distinct feeling that something else was going on, but she said it wasn’t me, it was her. Tired. Feet hurt. Etc.

I took her home about 90 minutes later, & our plan was to change our clothes out of the monkey suits into our street clothes, & then to go hang out with friends. (Meaning people that wanted to be sober, eat cool snax, & have lots of fun. Watch movies.) I changed my clothes, & waited for her in the living room for 15 minutes. 30 minutes. 45 minutes. 90 minutes. And waited. I passed the time by watching TV, but grew more & more impatient. Finally, her mom came out to get some water; she didn’t know I was there… (Mental picture that still haunts me.) She asked, “What are you doing?” I explained that I was waiting for her daughter to come out so we could resume our activities for the evening. She went into her daughters room, & came out immediately – embarrassed. Sheepish. She whispered, “I’m sorry. She went to bed.”

Hmm. Later on, I heard rumors from others on the stories that she had told about her “hellish, terrible night” out with me. How stupid I looked. How lame the evening was. How bad dinner was (of which she ate 3 courses…) But every time I asked her about it, she just said, “Oh, I was tired. My feet hurt.” Even though I knew that she was telling a different story to others.

I’ve often wondered why she didn’t deem me worthy of the truth that she so willingly told her friends: She didn’t really want to go out with me, but didn’t want to miss the dance. I was a means to an end. The truth would have been appreciated.

Diets…

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I’m on a diet. I know that the word “diet” is loaded with all kinds of meaning & baggage, but for me, it’s how I eat – & a specific food group that will become a part of my ‘food world.’ (My term probably. I like it for its descriptiveness… it speaks a lot of how small the actual pool of potential edibles is in my world.)

Anyway, over time, I have discovered that there are certain foods that don’t sit well in my belly. Dairy products. Like ice-cream. Mostly ice-cream. Milk. I end up with all kinds of negative side affects, which are better left undescribed. These only have kicked in over the last 3-5 years, so it’s not like I’ve been lactose intolerant my whole life, only to finally realize it. High sugar foods, like any good dessert – hot fudge, cheesecake, monkey bread, 6 layer double fudge cake, etc…, combined with high carbohydrate refined flours & sugars, cause me to have a near-catastrophic response in my blood sugar. And even if they didn’t, they left me feeling blah, sick to my stomach, & generally grumpus-like… all of this I had thought was just normal, par for the course response to food. You eat it, then you get this response. Turns out, not everybody has that kind of a deal with food. So, I modified my approach – if it doesn’t make me feel sick, angry, & doesn’t taste like dren…

A few years back, the Atkins Diet was all the rage. I was a few pounds heavier than my fighting weight, & my 30th birthday was fast approaching, so I thought I’d at least look into this ‘diet’ & see what it would entail… cutting out refined sugars & flours… avoiding trans fats… avoiding ‘high carbohydrate’ food… eating foods high in protein. Like meat. Sausages. Chicken. Pork. Meat. Did I mention meat? And good cheese. And I thought this was a diet. It sounded like my preferred means of nutrition. So I went ‘on’ the diet, & lost 35 pounds. The only things I missed eating were cookie dough, breakfast cereal (but milk was ok to miss) & the occasional dessert, like cake. Or ice-cream, which made me sick anyway. Some people were “Atkins haters” & some nutritionists said it was bad to eat that way, but my experience & my body told me a different story. And, yes, my cholesterol was measured at 141 – 70 for the ldl, 71 for the Hdl…

The next several years of my life involved eating what I referred to as a “modified Atkins’ meaning – I ate what I wanted, mostly high in protein, & low in refined sugars & flours. It was the ‘best’ time of life – where if I felt like eating something that wasn’t on the diet, I ate it, then resumed my regular routine.

Our church family went on 2 40 day fasts – not total fasts, but fasts that involved not eating meats or the ‘nice parts’ of meals – it was a part of something our denomination was doing at the time… so I participated, & in a short time, eating cereals, bagels, veggies, whole grains, & yogurt, had managed to put back on all the weight I had lost. Sigh.

Fast forward to May 16 of this year. I had been thinking about me & how I great I felt when I had been “Atkins-ing.” My pounds were still lurking, the residue of my 3 months (& then some) of special high-carb eating… I wanted them to go away – so I decided that for me, eating what I want in the manner I want was the way to go. So I’ve been doing the modified Atkins again since then, & the results have been what I expected. About 15 pounds gone. Feeling good in my body, soul, & mind. Enjoying the indulgence of life’s little pleasures like Spam, Flaming Hot Pork Skins, Louisiana Hot Links, broccoli, & Sharp Cheddar cheese.

I take vitamins. I work out 4x a week. I eat food that is high-protein/low carb, & I drink water like my life depends on it. (I know, I know. It does. But you get what I mean.) And my ‘diet’ is the way I want to eat. The way I feel best when I eat. And yes, I will occasionally mix in a dessert… It makes me think that for all the nutritional studies publishing what’s good, bad, & ugly for us to consume, there’s a lot of generalizations in those studies, & one of the best things we can do is find out what fuel our body likes best & functions best on…

But you can do what you like. I’m going to have a 2-egg Spam omelette with Taco Bell Fire Sauce & some great cheddar…

A wise man once told me…

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…nobody owes me anything.

The cause of a lot of offense, frustration, disappointment, & unmet expectations is an underlying belief that I might not have even identified, let alone articulated… someone owes me an explanation. Some thoughtfulness. Time. Respect.

Nobody owes me anything.

It’s easier to say, “I don’t owe anyone anything,” but I believe that might have to do with the selfishness of the statement, which speaks to the ability to live life with a reckless abandon in regards towards the feelings & perceptions of others.

Nobody owes me anything.

I don’t have a claim on being treated appropriately by anyone else – & clinging to my claim, however well founded in my own mind, (& in public opinion) doesn’t change that fact. The more I cling to my ‘rights’ the more I am hamstrung by my own woundedness, & I limit where God can work in & through me…

Nobody owes me anything.

Philippians 2:3-11
3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

6 Though he was God,
he did not think of equality with God
as something to cling to.

7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges[b];
he took the humble position of a slave[c]
and was born as a human being.
When he appeared in human form,[d]

8 he humbled himself in obedience to God
and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
and gave him the name above all other names,

10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Friday fodder…

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It’s Friday, 13 June… & I’m off today. So far, I laid on the couch (upstairs, then downstairs). Drank 3 cups of joe – the last one was a bit lukewarm… for some reason I wanted to spew it out of my mouth…made & ate a 2 egg omelette, w/fried Spam & Taco Bell sauce. A little slice of heaven.

Took the Subaru back to Brother’s house, & decided to run the 3.5 miles back home. At noon. It was hot… oops. First half of the lil jog I was lovin’ life. The last half, I was despairing of life. But, here I sit, a-typing, so I’m ok.

All day, been wrestling with my guts. They’re winning. The run helped. (Really!) But still, I think I’ll be parked on the couch for the rest of time.

Went to Costco to walk through w/the Bean, & something must be really, really wrong. She was ready to leave before I was. I think it’s just because she had a coffee date set up with Süße Sue. But, just in case, pray for me. Shopping is definitely out of the question.

I’ve got about 4 serious blogs circling my brain…

  • people pleasing.
  • Watching the organism called church changing (both locally & nationally) & feeling like I’m looking at a caterpillar caught halfway between stages in its morph towards a butterfly… & feeling like the church culture at large is hard to engage with… while at the same time, the morphed (morphing?) is too.
  • Adrenal fatigue, supplements, & other mind benders.
  • Small groups – specifically a Boundaries in Marriage small group – working through interpersonal relationships w/the context being marriage. I’m thinking of doing this in the Fall, & opening it up to marrieds & pre’s.
  • Diets – not so much the “Diet” to lose weight, but what we eat… & why we eat it. Esp. in the face of all the Evidence of the Right Way to eat, that ends up being contradicted shortly thereafter. What if a ‘diet’ for an individual human is just radically different than a ‘diet’ for another, w/the idea that everyone should eat/drink the same way should go the way of the dodo. Ok. That was 5. Sue me.

    Weepy again. Hmm.