Tag Archives: be the church

Looking ahead to 2022, & a letter asking HOW to re-start going to church….

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I love to write, & I love to share my thoughts (musings?) with others. And yet… for most of 2021 I didn’t blog. Instead, I put together at least 1 video post/week, along with my staff, on our church’s YouTube page (you can check it out HERE if you’re interested.)

In the last few weeks of each year, I like to take stock of my life & purpose to make changes to better fit my goals, values, etc… Not “New Year’s Resolutions” per se; rather, intentional, on-purpose life adjustments. Things to stop. Things to start. One thing I am aiming to do in 2022 is to write, to blog again. So here I go.

This week, a friend texted me a question & the answer would have been way to long for this guy to text back…. so I wrote him a letter (an email, really) with an answer that I hope will be helpful. I know he’s not the only one asking this question (I’ve heard it from many, many people over my 22 years pastoring. This isn’t the ONLY answer – every situation is a little different… & the answers I’m offering are  100% my opinion, though I hope they are rooted in not only my experience but also in scriptural principles.

First, the question:

“Do you have thoughts on helping people handle changing seasons & church relationships? I have three different friend groups that all started in (campus/college ministry group) that have all recently ran into hiccups or issues after COVID & all of them appear to be at “restart” phases of finding church or belonging.. They find it hard to be motivated to go to church because they don’t have any connected relationships. Any thoughts or ideas?”

The answer:

Dear friend:
Thanks for reaching out – I feel really strongly about this topic, partially because I’ve got so many old students & old friends who have lived this out… & many of them have still never reconnected with a church & haven’t been a  part of a community since their Campus ministry days.

One of the bummer things about campus groups is they are (largely) homogenous… people the same age, going through the same general things… & there are (usually) many significant, powerful happenings in their lives with Christ. (Think ‘mountaintop experiences.’)
Most churches will be different than that – especially if there is a mix of ages/life experiences (heterogeneous)…. real community, real fellowship takes work & commitment because you’re largely going to be connecting & building relationships based on a commitment to Jesus & being obedient to Him (vs. based on age, things in common, previous friendships, etc.) And sometimes it requires that YOU be the person that helps others to connect; that YOU be the one who reaches out, who helps, who encourages others.
So – what I’ve said (& I’d say to others asking the question) is something like this:
Think back to when you first started going to your campus ministry group – you had to risk, you had to extend yourself, you had to try (probably multiple times.) This is a similar process that you will need to embrace in order to motivate yourself to GO to church, to CONTINUE going to church, & to be APART of a local community for the long -term.
Being a participating member of a church community is really important & significant – here are some ideas for you to get started & get connected:
  • Ask a trusted Christian, church-going friend who is in a local church community – can I come to church with you for a bit to get my bearings? Go there & give it a month or two, minimum..
  • Do you have any connections at a local church? People you know already, friends attending somewhere?Go there & give it a month or two, minimum..
  • If not, are there any churches near you that are familiar (denomination, worship style, philosophy, values, etc) to you? Go there & give it a month or two, minimum..
  • If not, ask God for bravery, boldness, & direction & FIND a church in your city (near or far doesn’t matter, but nearer, aka less than 30 minutes away, is probably best. Then commit yourself to go & participate in the life of the church – attending church but also trying a small group; staying for fellowship opportunities; looking for others with their ‘connectors’ out.

No church is perfect; it is often messy & requires people to really commit to the process of church, having thick skins & perseverance, to be willing to repent & to extend grace to others. It will require giving of yourself, extending yourself, stepping into potentially lonely situations (at least initially). & then not quitting.

And if the church you try doesn’t end up being one you can connect with/in, try another… but keep going. Keep trying. Keep extending yourself. It is worth it.
I know many people who’ve made the ‘leap’ into church community & they love it; & I know many who have never made the jump out of campus ministry to church, & they are still living off the ‘great things God did when I was in college,’ even if it is 20 years later. And that makes me sad, because God isn’t done with you when you leave school

Hope there’s something in here that helps…

Blessings to you
Louie