Category Archives: People

Deutschland 2023 – Days #4-7 – Church in Ottersweier & Foursquare LIVE

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Day 4 – 

Saturday was a slow day with not much on the agenda until the afternoon, other than reading, having talks, & rehearsing the Sunday message with Julia who would be doing the translating for me. It was great to be able to see Julia in her natural habitat, & also to enjoy the time together. We took about an hour to compare Bible translations/languages, work through specific points & word choices, & then to answer any questions each of us had for the other…  Arche Ottersweier (The Ark of Ottesweier) has been Julia’s home church ever since it was planted by pastors Roland & Manuela Lorenz; she’s involved there leading worship & in a variety of other areas, so she also provided a bit of a play by play to bring us up to speed since my/our last visit there in 2009 (Joni had never been there to the church/city/her parents house; I’d visited a few times & spoke at the church with her translating on one of the trips.) 

That afternoon, we made our way to the house of die familie Kern (her parents home) for kaffee & apfel strudel with eis (ice cream.) Goodness. And this was to be our ‘appetizer’ for dinner. I’m glad we had a couple hours to let it settle because I was STUFFED after we ate & my stomach was already hurting because of all the food & laughter :). 

Dinner was with Klaus & Pia (Julia’s parents) & Linda & Joah (Julia’s sister & nephew) at “Mucho Macho” an Armenian-owned tapas-style restaurant. We had Middle-Eastern, Armenian, German, & Spanish tapas in a family-style presentation (it makes sense if you see it) & ate until we couldn’t eat any more. SO. MUCH. FOOD. Klaus & Pia both have such a great sense of humor we find ourselves laughing almost constantly. 

It was raining as we left the restaurant, so late that I thought I’d turn into a pumpkin before we got home. But I made it. And went quickly to sleep to get good rest for Sunday.

Day 5

Woke up early-ish & had my normal Sunday am breakfast (Cafe Latte protein shake & a Quest bar) & a good cup of Julia’s french press coffee. We arrived at the church 1/2 hour early for prayer & spent the time in the upstairs praying in our native languages for the day, for the service, for the people in attendance, & for the churches in the town. 

The sanctuary/building is set up in an inverted “V” pattern with chairs set up on both sides of the sanctuary so that the people in the middle rows on back in each section can’t see each other. I (& Julia) spoke on being TOGETHER from Acts 2:42; we touched on maturity, selflessness, the power of the Holy Spirit, unity, being on mission together, learning to prefer & defer in our people connections, & stuff like that. 

After church, Linda’s husband, Heiko (sound guy today) came up to me excited & said, “You spoke to BOTH sides of the room today. The regular section AND the youth section. NO ONE has ever talked to the youth section.” I didn’t know it had been that divided up, but in retrospect I guess it was. That might explain the excited reaction from the youth a couple times during the message… 

Right after church, a young lady named Jana (13 years old) came up to me with a cup of coffee, light cream & gave it to me. She told me, “I wanted to make sure you got a cup of coffee before the end of service. Sometimes people come & want to talk to the speaker so long that we run out of coffee before they can get a cup.” Yeah, that’s the kind of girl she is. She was absolutely glowing with the joy of the Lord, full of life & the Holy Spirit. She (& her mom) were just radiant; Jana speaks English better than me, German, French, & is tackling Spanish & Japanese now. She said, “God is going to work through me & my ability to speak languages well, so I want to work to give Him some good material to work with.” SMH, but in awe & thanks. 

As we left the church, we said goodbye to Klaus & Pia – & Klaus followed us out of the building, waving us a majestic & heart felt “GOOD BYE.” My eyes may have misted over. 

For lunch, we went to Roland & Manuela’s home – take out pizza & home grown field greens. We talked with them & their girls (Desiree & Deborah – 15 & 13) & our Julia. The time went so fast we had to pack up & head out to the conference – Goodbye with Julia was so difficult. We love this woman, & are so proud of who she is & who she is becoming. Leaving our German daughter behind was the hardest thing we’ve done so far on this trip… definitely planning on making it back next year…

After a 2 1/2 hour trip, we arrived in Oberwesel at the Youth Hostel where the conference “Foursquare LIVE” was being held. As we were checking in, we ran into Alex & Linda Krieger, dear friends we’ve known & stayed in regular touch with for 16 years. We’re going to end our trip with them in Berlin, so it was extra special to be able to have these couple of days with them here at the conference.

The theme of the conference is Discipleship – led by an American, John Lewis of Kingdom Story Ministries. He’s a great dude partnering with the Foursquare Church to prepare our churches worldwide with strategy/intentional plans for creating discipleship pathways (in the US its called D.L.T. Discipleship/Leadership Training. And it is good stuff.)

Foursquare Deutschland joined with the US Foursquare church to celebrate 100 years of Foursquare with their own celebration this year at this conference. After the meeting, we had late night talks with Alex & Linda, then headed to bed.

Day 6

We ate breakfast with Brandon & Marcie Brazee, Foursquare missionaries & pastors to Köln (Cologne) Germany, along with their kids, Kaitlyn (14?) & Hudson (almost 8). Great time getting to hear their story & sharing a bit of ours; we share a lot of dear friends in common, so we really enjoyed the beginning of what felt like a good friendship. 

Full day of meetings & interactions… so during our afternoon break, we (theBean, me, Alex & Linda) went to the castle next door for some desserts… Yes. The CASTLE next door. For reals. It was a 5 minute walk from the Hostel & we had our drink & watched theBean & Alex kill their cheesecakes while viewing the Rhein river below us. 

Right before dinner, our dear friend Eddy (who we stayed with Day 1/2) hand-delivered a bag to us. 90 minutes each way. It contained 50 pounds (23 kg) of goodies we’d brought for the Brazee family, but that we couldn’t take with us to see Julia in southwestern Germany… it was a brief reunion for us, & also for Alex & LInda with their beloved former pastor. To me, Eddy’s selfless 180 minute journey to drop off a glorified (& Oh So Awesome) goody bag illustrates the kind of friend, man, & pastor he is. Truly one of the best men I know.

The food at the conference, served by the hostel, is super low in protein. Like nonexistent. And after a day and a half of greens & pasta offerings, we (theBean, me, Alex & Linda) decided to go to the Castle again for dinner. Alex & I had “beef cheeks, mashed potatoes, greens, & a nice Cuvee. TheBean had salmon, & Linda had a veal cutlet. Our protein cravings were satisfied, if only for a day.

That night was a night of extended worship, with prayer & prophetic ministry available as well. Specifically, prayer ministry was set out for the ‘stans (the countries that are Germany’s missions focus including but not limited to: Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, & a few others). Several pastoral reps from each country were there, & there was a very powerful time of prayer. We allso heard from one of the pastors from Turkmenistan, a man who’d spent much time in prison being tortured & threatened with his life… for the crime of becoming a Christian. Inconceivable.

Day 7 

Last day of Foursquare LIVE. We were dragging a bit this morning, but were buoyed by the worship time. This was followed by a Q & A with John Lewis, as German (& other) pastors in the room asked him clarifying questions about discipleship. One of the things that is an obstacle to discipleship in many/most Western countries is what John Lewis referred to as ‘consumer Christianity” which he defined as living Christian for the benefits & easy parts, while not necessarily taking the steps to obey & put into practice all the teachings of Christ, ala Matt 28:18-20 (see ‘teach them to OBEY’ in verse 20.)

Anyway, the Turkmeni pastor asked a question, which, by the way, was translated from Russian to German to English (!) to be heard / understood by the speaker. He asked, “What IS this consumer Christianity? In my country, you are Christian or you are not. You are disciple & as a result you may die. There is NO question about it. It is truly a life & death choice.” 

He didn’t say it in a condemning fashion, but rather in an incredulous, you’ve-got-to-be-joking-me kind of fashion. Like somehow, someway this was just a joke his other ‘stan” buddies were pulling on him.

But it wasn’t. And it isn’t. It is a thing.

How would you answer his question?

The conference ended, we said our goodbyes (& see you soon to Alex & Linda) & got in the van to Bielefeld, where we were transported with 9 other people in their church van about 4 1/2 hours to Bielefeld. We talked some with new friends in the car & by the end of the trip, the woman sitting next to theBean told her, “You would be a great mentor. After sitting next to you for a couple of hours, I hear God speaking to me & directing me & answering my questions through the wisdom you share.” So yeah, it was a good trip. That’s my theBean.

Our hostess, Anna Marie, a Foursquare Missionary to Germany (from Washington) met us at the church & we walked to her place about 100 meters from the church. She got us situated & fed us a great dinner of soup & rolls, & we’ve been sitting quietly, decompressing for the last last hour while I type this blog & try to recover from the wall-to-wall people of the last several days. 

I’ll dial in with updates tomorrow on what we’re doing here in Bielefeld for the rest of the week (leaving Sunday after church)  but for now I am TOAST & am ready to head to Dreamland with theBean.

Thank you for your continued prayers. Thank you Jesus for the kind of friends who would drive 180 minutes to bring a goody bag. For dear friends to share life & talks & cheesecake with. For men & women who love You more than their own lives & embrace obedience as their life’s call & Godly mandate with a tangible grace & love for You & for people that is contagious.

Good night. 

Deutschland 2023 – Day #3 – We call it “Friday…”

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It was a super late night, & we were very tired but still didn’t get to bed until about 1 am (!) We slept in til about 9:30, & theBean & I woke up to the smell of good German kaffee delivered through a french press. TheBean & Julia worked together in the kitchen to craft a mashup of German/American breakfasts: scrambie eggs, bacon, good German bread; cucumbers; salami & cheese. And we laughed. So much. 

With the crush & press of activity that is coming, & out of a desire to relish our time with our Julia, Friday was very much a Sabbath rest day for us. We hung out at her house & talked, sat on the couches & read our books or magazines, then broke into spontaneous conversations, then read some more. Finally we decided there were a couple (few?) things we wanted to do (like plan dinner) so we got ready & headed out to a specialty store for some desserts & then to the grocery store to buy supplies for dinner. 

We bought 3 desserts to share – a black forest cake, chocolate cream cake, & sour cherry pie. These were glorious, esp. because German (most European desserts actually) aren’t overly loaded down with sugar & aren’t sweet-sweet. They’re tasty & subtle & you can taste the chocolate, the chocolate cream, the body of the cakes, the cherries, the subtleties of the flavors in a special way that doesn’t flood your body with sugar & cloying sweetness. I don’t eat dessert at home for that reason, but I readily jumped in to the ‘sampling party.’

The girls decided that they wanted to try to make a version of theBean’s white chicken chili soup, which is WAY more daunting than it sounds. One doesn’t just purchase American style food supplies at a German grocery store, often because the foods/staples we have/use are not available (or in some cases, not legal because of additives, chemicals, etc) here. So, in true theBean style, she improvised. Her white chicken chili soup turned into white bean & beef/pork/Italian sausage & greenish chiles soup. (BTW, theBean doesn’t agree with my naming of the soup, but this is my account of reality, so there’s that.) It was significantly different from her normal creation, but it was good. We turned on the music (theBean’s “Joanne” playlist from Spotify) & ate & laughed. 

We turned our attention back to the desserts, (yes, btw, desserts were harmed & significantly diminished during the making of our dinner. But we’re adults, so forks out!)  After dinner was clean up time & then we resumed our spots on the couch for more talks until it was time for bed. As Saturday afternoon & evening are spoken for (coffee & dinner with Julia’s parents & family), we wanted to get another good night’s sleep, then have a good breakfast in the morning & hopefully do a load of wash before we head to the Foursquare LIVE pastors’ conference.

I think (know?) the most difficult parts of this trip are ‘the limits.’ We are limited in our time/availability & there are many, many dear friends here in different parts of Germany that we won’t be able to connect with, not out of a lack of desire to do so, but because we are ‘limited.’ (I much prefer the idea/reality of ‘limits’ vs. ‘busyness.’ ) Everything we have said “YES” to for this trip, requires a very difficult “NO” somewhere. That goes for ALL of us, in ALL of our lives; some of our greatest struggles in life/in our schedules come from us ignoring the reality that we have limits on our time, energy, resources, etc, & we run ourselves ragged attempting to have it all, do it all, see it all, accomplish it all, often with destructive or even tragic consequences for our physical, emotional, spiritual, & relational health & well-being. 

I’m thankful for the Emotionally Healthy Spirituality lessons we’ve learned over the years, esp. when it comes to “Embracing God’s Gift of Limits.” It allows us to be fully present where we are & to acknowledge we CANNOT do everything we’d like to do… & embracing our limits, to me, equals embracing the fact that we’re human BEINGS not humans DOING. In a perfect world, we’d be able to be here for 6 weeks (or more?!) & be with each & every one of our dear friends in Frankfurt & beyond… into Poland… & Austria… &… you get the picture. 

To all of our dear friends in Germany & beyond – you are deeply loved, & we hope to be able to see & hug you again very soon. 

The pictures below are our desserts & a random shot out the window as we drove next to some beautiful vineyards (trust me! They are really there.) 

It was a beautiful day. We call it “Friday.” And now sleep.

Deutschland 2023 – Day 2… “Time with family…”

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Sleep. It’s what we needed after a “i’m barely able to keep my eyes open but I’m pushing through it” travel day. Ended up crashing at about 8:30 p.m. according to my never-too-happy-with-my-sleep score Garmin watch.  And still, it tells me we got 11 hours (!) , albeit with a middle of the night “who/where/what am I doing?” moment followed by a couple hours of both of us trying to convince ourselves & each other that “Yes, we were indeed Ready, Willing, & not quite Able to return to the Land of Slumber.” But eventually we both dozed off again & slept well until about 9 a.m. 

Woke up to the smell of coffee & a spinach, bacon, onion, & shrooms frittata graciously prepared by the gifted Eddy & Laura. (In their 1st year of marriage, Laura made 365 different dinner meals for Eddy. For reals. She cooks like that & does mathematics {M.I.T.} too, ladies & gentlemen. But I digress…)

All the ‘kids’ (Taylor, Elliott, Max, & Kira) were either at school or in their space doing school online, so we settled down to Psalm 90, a prayer of thanksgiving, & to a couple hours of talks, interspersed with coffee & water refills & lots of laughter. 

We talked about family & the changes that come over time. About seasons of life & church, the  Working Genius assessment & how it can help within the context of life, relationships, church & work; God’s continued process of growth & healing in our lives; vulnerability, friendship, partnership, marriage, etc. Could have gone on for days.

The ‘boys’ come home from/finished up with school. I say ‘boys’ but they’re  20 & 18… young men.. both with a killer sense of humor, & definite/obvious gifts & applied intelligence. Taylor & Elliot added all sorts of joy & insight & perspectives to our conversations. 

In addition to pastoring a church Eddy is the VP at a worldwide company that does digital platforms for businesses, so he had to tackle some work meetings. My theBean & I started the process of getting ready, packing up & preparing for today’s travel by train to Baden-Baden late this afternoon to see our Julia.

The 90 minute train trip to Baden-Baden was uneventful & Julia met us right on the train exit. It’s been 7 years since we’ve seen her in person (we text & send Marco Polo’s to each other on the regular) & it was so good to see her! She swept us (& our luggage) into her car & transported us the 20 minutes or so to the house of her sister Linda & her incredible brother in law, Heiko. We first met them back in 2008 when they escorted teenage Julia to the US. For Hillsiders – imagine Cole had a German cousin who loved to cook & help as much as he does, (church, home, & Royal Rangers,) & add in a bevy of ATV’s, & you get a glimpse of this man.  

Also joining us @ the Casa de Tilgner (Heiko & Linda’s last name) were Julia & LInda’s parents, Klaus & Pia. Such gracious people who adopted us into their tribe when Julia originally came to stay with us. What a joy to be brought to the table of a family to celebrate life, eat great food (tonight it was round after round of different types of Flammkuchen – savory, veggie, & sweet) & tell stories, laugh til it hurt, & catch up on what God is doing & what is happening in their lives.

The time today (& the times over the last couple of days with the Dueck family) really make Acts 2:42 come to life… the powerful connection with God & each other that happens around shared meals, + shared time, space, & experiences. It requires that we give of ourselves, that we stretch into sharing a type of  ‘divine hospitality’ that reaches beyond the comfortable & invites the Holy Spirit to the table in a manner that develops, establishes, & maintains kingdom of God family connections. This is the way.

Around 11 pm, Julia drove us to her flat – so cute. After a quick tour, we headed to bed & ended up crashing pretty good shortly after midnight. Woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee (Julia has grown a lot & even incorporates coffee into her daily routine. If you know, you know.) I decided to finish this post (yesterday’s/Day 2’s) post & then dive into the day of fun, relaxation, & good talks. 

Thank you for your prayers – we are seeing the goodness of God & divine appointments set up for us on the daily. 

The pictures are Julia, theBean & Pia; theBean, Julia, Pia, Klaus, me, Heiko, & Linda; Klaus & me

Deutschland 2023 – Day 1

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We flew out of San Francisco around 2:30 pm on Tuesday, which I think was yesterday, but after an 11 hour, overnight flight, where I may have gotten 3 1/2 hours of sleep. Very fortunate that theBean & I had an empty seat between us (thank you Jesus for the unforeseen blessing) so we could stretch out a bit. Spent the last couple hours of the flight watching The Office (including THIS gem), & mentally preparing for the sometimes grueling first day in country, where we do our best to stay awake & push through the urges to sleep/lay down/succumb to travel shock.

Passport control was a breeze, though very slow. One of the American guys in front of us (worked for the US State Dept. He even had the backpack for it,) was incredulous at “the poor customer service” of the German passport control officers. Dude. Time to chill. You aint in Kansas any more.

Bags arrived safely (thank you again Jesus) & wee went outside & caught a taxi to the home of our friends, Eddy & Laura Dück. After a quick trip, we settled into the room we’re staying in tonight (thank you Taylor – Eddy & Laura’s oldest son – for giving up your room for the night.) Then it was time for coffee & talks with Eddy. Loved getting to catch up on the last few years of happenings & to hear what God has been & is currently doing in & through the Dück family. Eddy had to dive into some work, so theBean & I took turns showering & getting freshened up & getting ready to re-meet the Dück kids (Taylor, Ellott, Max, & Kira) when they get home from school. That’s where we are right now.

I just wanted to let you know we made it – we’re doing well – we’re loving the talks & fun we’re having so far as the late teen age kids arrive home, one by one, from their school. Tomorrow we’ll hang out here in Frankfurt until about 3 pm, at which point we’ll head to the train station & make our way to our dear Julia in Achern (southwest corner of Germany, near the French border.)

Thank you for praying – will be in touch.

Louie & Joni

Walking through life, navigating obstacles, taking on challenges… KEEP WALKING

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One of my current joys in life is the 2-3 days/week morning walk around the Marina with our Grace, & the newest granddaughter, Eloise Joanne. I joined her walking routine shortly after Eloise was born, & I greatly anticipate our talks, both in-depth & silly; about meaning-of-life stuff & the things that are trivial.  More often than not, we end up talking about spiritual things, including points of life where we’re being challenged to grow, things God is talking to us about, obstacles we’re experiencing, fun family dynamics, friendships, & childhood trauma… just to name a few.

Monday we were laughing about the every-day interactions we have as we traverse the Marina 2x each morning… (She sometimes goes 3x… she’s a beast!) & I joked, “All the obstacles & interruptions we face on this walk remind me of the 80’s video game ‘Paperboy,’ where you try to finish your daily route while dodging people, dogs, road hazards, & crazy situations.” We came up with several things we run into EVERY walk, as well as an “Ease of Dodging” score from 1-10, with “1” being the easiest to dodge, & “10” being the grabby octogenarian grandma who SEES the baby & wants to TOUCH the baby…

  • Dogs; dogs on leashes; dogs off leashes; dogs in strollers; dogs being carried by their owners; dogs being chased by their owners; dogs running free. 6/10
  • Attack geese & other water fowl... you know the ones on the side of the Marina closest to I-80? The ones that must get regularly fed by SOMEBODY because they seem to look at every passerby as a sure-fire food source as they waddle & hustle towards the paths, occasionally reaching out their long necks to attempt to snap at us. 5/10
  • Attack squirrels: somebody feeds these things, because they have NO fear of humanity. They also see us as a source of snacks, because they inevitably dodge in & out of traffic, hoping beyond hope that we’ll drop them something scrumptious.  in the back of my head, I remember my iFit trainer, John Peel, telling me about his trek through the Grand Canyon where he was repeatedly bitten by aggressive squirrels, seeking snacks. 5/10
  • Poop: The dogs, ducks, geese, mud-hens, squirrels, & other animals leave their messes behind. If the dogs have their human with them, they will usually pick up their mess, but more often than not, the piles are left on or near the walking path. 7/10
  • Pedestrians: on any given day, the walking path is full of people, walking either clockwise or counter-clockwise around the Marina, all at varying speeds; some painstakingly slow, others going like the proverbial bat out of Hades. Some groups walk shoulder to shoulder, blocking (most of) the path, ensuring we have to either RUSH or SLOW way down to get around them. 7/10
  • Cyclists: Hopefully, if you’re approached by a cyclist, they have a bell & let you know they are coming; sometimes you just sense imminent danger, turn around, & virtually dive for your life. One guy MUST be trying to set the Marina land-speed record. 7/10
  • Skaters: usually these are roller-bladers, but occasionally, they rock old-school roller-skates. See the notes above on pedestrians & cyclists. 7/10
  • Moms w/Strollers: these are the easiest to dodge; they (like us) are hyper-aware of their surroundings & are enjoying themselves to the max, breathing in the fresh, clean air, all the while hoping & praying their little one(s) remain asleep, or at least content. 1/10.
  • Jehovah’s Witnesses: every day I’ve walked with Grace, I see at least 2 groups of 5 (sometimes as many as 20 people) setting up tables with signs & plenty of Watchtower literature to distribute. These are usually easier to dodge, as they’re stationary, & we’re moving on a mission. 3/10
  • Grabby Octogenarian Grandma: inevitably the “El Guapo” of obstacles; she sees the stroller from a distance & begins to determinedly totter her way towards it, moving ever closer to the precious cargo inside… I’ve learned to position myself on the inner-lane of the walking path lane to provide a human grandpa buffer to (hopefully) allow Grace & baby Eloise to hug the edge of the path until they can race to freedom. 10/10
  • Naruto-Running Man: Yes. He exists. He hangs out on the volleyball beach, usually by himself, (although we did see him with either a) a captive or b) a buddy. He does exercise moves that most resemble activities I’ve seen in anime (hence the Naruto run); he also does chanting & randomly yells out as he exercises. Once when we got close, he earnestly (& a little fiercely) questioned us: “Do you love the Lord Jesus Christ & follow Him?” We assured him we did… that was the right answer & he resumed his activities. Most days if we pass him & he makes eye contact, I just say “Good morning” & keep going. 5/10

With all those real life obstacles, interruptions & challenges that appear EVERY DAY at the Marina, you might ask, “WHY do you go then?”  My answer is: “Because its WORTH IT! The time with Grace, the interactions with Eloise Joanne, the fresh air, the great talks, the shared time/space/experience that helps grow & cement relationships… its WORTH IT.”

And, this daily walk is a metaphor for life… every day we encounter ‘versions’ of the obstacles (some funny, some really difficult) that “get in the way” of what we’re trying to do. They may make our lives more challenging, & even make them difficult. In our walk with God, there is a never-ending parade of things & people & events & STUFF that could trip us up, distract us, or sometimes even cause us to stop walking all together.

My encouragement to you:  keep your eyes on the prize, the REASON & the MOTIVATION for WHY you’re walking –> Jesus.  And keep going.

Just watch out for the grabby grandmas…

THANKS vs. WORRIES

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This morning I was walking the Marina with Grace & EJ (newest granddaughter) & I ran into something. Not physically… I ran into something in my head while Grace & I were catching up on what is happening with each of us.

I ran into Worries.

She asked me if I was excited to go to Germany at the end of the month, & as I answered, I realized I had stepped right into the middle of of a pack of Worries (cares, anxieties, unknowns, & the like) that initially stuck to me like goatheads stick to your pantlegs, socks, & shoes when you walk through the Nevada brush.

WORRIES. Worries about being able to sleep with a 9 hour time difference from home. Worries about navigating the German inter-city train system. Worries about train schedules. Worries about getting lost. Worries about our health. Worries about traveling in another country. Worries about the German language. Worries about bringing too much stuff. Worries about not bringing enough stuff. Worries about getting stranded. Worries about what’s happening at home. Worries about not being liked. Worries about not being received. Worries about worry… you get the picture.

As we talked, I spoke up & identified to Grace that I was indeed experiencing a whole pack, a virtual plethora of Worries… & that I was simultaneously tackling the temptation to worry head on… I KNOW (& I spoke out loud) that I cannot address ANY of those potential Worries right now, as I’m HERE in the present, not a month in the future. I KNOW (& spoke out loud) that I have committed our trip, our ways & means, EVERYTHING about it to Jesus, & therefore, it does me no good to embrace (or even pick up) a worry that doesn’t even belong to today.

Further, I KNOW (& I spoke out loud) that God has, is, & will care for all of my & our needs, hopes, plans, etc., & that the temptation to Worry is not something He’s giving me so “I can be prepared,” for it in the future. Instead, I KNOW (& I spoke out loud) that I am making the choice & the commitment, today & going forward, to reject worry & to replace it with THANKS. Thanks to God for provision. Thanks for His care. Thanks for His favor. Thanks for His protection. Thanks for divine appointments. Thanks for the continuing of decades-long relationships. Thanks for His care over our home, our family, our precious babies, our church community, & our workplace.

THANKS. Not WORRIES.

This is (& I am) a work in progress & process… but I am determined.

And may I encourage you as well? If (WHEN) you encounter your own pack of Worries, consider responding with persistent, persevering THANKS instead. To the One who holds us, our days & times, & all we are, in His hands.

Weighed down by the ‘SHOULDS’ vs. rest for your souls…

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The SHOULDS can crush us. 

They feel tangible & nebulous at the same time… bouncing around in our heads & our hearts, somehow finding ways to minimize, mock, & deride our efforts as insignificant, inadequate, & feeble. 

The SHOULDS are joy stealers.

They show up as we take baby steps to begin something new. As we stretch & try our best to grow, to learn, to embrace new life-patterns & life-habits. They show up as we change our eating patterns or as we launch into a Bible reading, prayer, & journal practice for ourselves (for the twenty-third time). They show up in the face of our small victories as they attempt to rob us of the satisfaction & encouragement of making ANY progress. 

No matter what we have done or accomplished, the SHOULDS cry out for more. 

And the SHOULDS are never satisfied.

I believe this is especially true in our relationship with God. Here’s what I mean:

In the Gospel of Matthew, I see two contrasting pictures, two “ways & means” of life that we have in front of us.

In the first, Jesus tells how the religious leaders of His day (& ours?)  “tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, & lay them on peoples’ shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger.’ (Matthew 23:4).Those burdens, those SHOULDS, weigh heavily on people, tiring them out, wearing them down, stealing every ounce of forward progress, every potential bit of joy, freedom, & LIFE, turning our focus from the good towards the empty hopelessness that will never be satisfied, because there are always more SHOULDS lurking.

In the second, Jesus addresses ALL of those people who are weighed down, who are carrying the heavy burdens. Those who are so bone-weary & worn down they haven’t looked up in who knows how long?  He says, “Come to Me, ALL who are weary & burdened, & I will give you REST. Take My yoke (teachings, practices, way of life) upon you & learn from Me, for I am gentle & humble in heart, & you WILL find REST for your souls. For My yoke (teachings, practices, way of life) is easy & My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30).

My encouragement to you? Take a look at the list of SHOULDS that presents itself to you & ask Jesus: “Are these from You? ANY of them? Do these give me LIFE? Does listening to/attempting to do these SHOULDS bring any FREEDOM? Am I experiencing something that could be described as ‘rest for my soul?’  

And if/when the answer to those questions is “NO,” reject those SHOULDS & go to Jesus. Ask Him about His teachings, practices, way of life, about what it looks like to walk with Him. 

I pray you will experience the rest He promises, deep in your soul, down to the very marrow of your bones. I pray that you will receive a joy & a peace beyond description, not dependent upon circumstances or situations. 

Be at rest. Be at peace. 

Blessings to you today.

 

“Don’t quit. Keep going.” & some thoughts on encouraging others…

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In the quiet of the morning today, I was thinking back on the many times someone gave me words of encouragement. Those memories still bring a smile to my lips.

Like when I was 25 & trying to teach myself to play guitar so that I could play for worship. I was in the early stages of thrashing about with my strumming & painstakingly forcing my fingers into some semblance of a correct position for chords, & even to my untrained ear, I could tell it was NOT going well. I was down in a hole. Frustrated. Defeated. Discouraged. That day had been particularly bad because I had risked… by dragging out my beater, an acoustic Aspen guitar (which I’d purchased for the sum of $100) & attempting to play along with a couple of much further along in the guitar-playing process friends, only to find that not only was I at least as bad as I’d thought, I melted under the pressure & forgot how to form the chords I DID know. I took my guitar & put in away in its beaten-up, chip-board case, thinking, “I won’t do THAT again.” 

And then one of the guys pulled me aside later & said, “You’re doing really well. Don’t quit. You are on the verge of getting it, when the strum & the chords & the timing & everything all comes together. I remember when I was learning, & the spot you’re in right now in the learning process is a HARD one… but it is SO CLOSE to coming together for you. Keep going.”

His words were sincere… acknowledging the reality of my “playing” but also offering the perspective of someone who had been down the road before & survived. And he shared what HE saw from his spot something in me that I was about to give up on, & because he did, I stuck with guitar. I kept playing. And sure enough, it wasn’t more than a month or so later that I had turned a “learning corner” to the point where I could play a (simple) worship song without being too distracting with my mistakes, mis-strums, & mis-chords. I had been DIS-couraged. He spoke words of life to me & I was EN-couraged.

I could relay 10 stories about different people who gave me words of encouragement related to playing the guitar… Kelly the small group leader; Rocker dude in Winters who showed me ‘cheater-power chords;” Ron the boss; Chum who kept sending me chord sheets; the list goes on. 

And that’s just one area of my life.

So it’s because of that story (& 100’s of others like it) that I purpose to be diligently looking speak life, hope, & encouragement to others when I see them making an effort, no matter how “on-point” or excellent their efforts appears to be. Because I know what it did to me when those people shared with me their perspective, from their own experiences, & looked for (& somehow found) in me a sign of hope. Progress. Life. Change. 

I think my favorite area to encourage people is in their steps of faith in Christ… esp. because I know the internal battle each person faces as they attempt to live life differently, no longer according to the pattern of this world, but according to the pattern of Christ. And I know intimately the belittling words of criticism our enemy the devil throws at us, mocking our every effort as insincere, inadequate, inauthentic. Where he reminds us of all our past (failed) efforts, & attempts to bully & intimidate us into putting the guitar back into its case, never to take it out again. 

And its the exact opposite of how Christ Jesus looks at us & our (feeble, struggling, inadequate) efforts. He looks at the steps we’re taking, at the simple, crayon-scribbled, monochromatic picture we’re creating with with our life & pursuit of Him, & He calls it beautiful. And He puts it on His proverbial fridge, like He’s actually proud of us. 

Because He is. And He speaks to us about things in & around us that ARE NOT YET, as though they ARE. And because He believes in us, we can start believing in us as well as we continue in Him.

So I will speak truth, life, & encouragement with everything I’ve got. Knowing that when I do, my perspective & my words are reflecting those of Christ. 

And that’s the goal… to be a little piece of Jesus, every day. 

Somebody to lean on…

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In late 2015, I was in a dark place. A hole, really. Not a literal one… but one of depression, frustration, & hopelessness. There were myriad reasons for this, & I KNEW all of them, at least in my head, though I didn’t know how to navigate out of the pit of freakish misery I felt. I knew I had friends, but I had isolated myself out of shame, fear, & feelings of ‘stuckness’… I was there mostly from my own choices & I made it more complicated by getting stuck in my own head on the hyper-critical, hyper-self-analytical way-overthought “hamster wheel of death.”

At one point, a well-meaning soul recommended that I read the Bible MORE. Pray MORE. Seek God until I found Him, MORE. 

I wanted to scream. And to vigorously shake the person who’d made the suggestions, to ask them, “Don’t you think I’ve TRIED doing MORE? I’ve done MORE.”

And I was still in the darkness.

At the worst of it, I didn’t have to wonder where God was, or why He was ‘letting’ me go through what I was going through. I KNEW exactly where He was. Where He always is. Right there. With me. Even in the darkness, He was WITH me. He was quiet. But He was THERE. And He gave me what I needed every day (hour? minute? second?) to make it through that day (hour? minute? second?) 

And as I came to the end of myself, multiple times, I sensed God’s gentle reminder to me, over & over, that He would never leave me or forsake me. That He gave His Spirit to live WITHIN me as a reminder of His constant attention & presence, no matter what I FELT like. It was like He was sitting WITH me in all my anguish, in all the pain… not trying to fix me, not correcting me, not doing anything but being WITH me. 

When I did read the Bible, it was Psalms. I’d read the whole Book of Psalms my whole life 1x/month (5 Psalms/day, like THIS.) But it was in these times I discovered that Psalms spoke the language of my soul. In Psalms I discovered words that painted the picture of what I felt, & questions that I’d not yet asked myself, but that I resonated with. The words of desperation, full of dark emotion & agony, capable of scratching the ’emotional itch’ that I’d been reaching for for months. The questions. The worries. The soul-crushed declarations. All of it.

And I was reminded of a few things.

Our faith is made for dark times & difficulties. Sure, it is good for the good times too, when everything is “alls as it should be” (to quote Matt Redman) but it is even more tangibly appropriate when I’m seemingly lost & suffering in the dark, literally & figuratively. 

It’s in those times that I (re)discovered a faith that cannot be shaken, rooted in the Person of Jesus Christ. And things got better, but not because my circumstances changed. They didn’t. Rather, they got better because I discovered what it meant to have “Someone to lean on.” To not try to live & function in my own strength.

To be fair, I wasn’t even aware that I had often been functioning with an attitude of “I’ve got this,” in relationship to my family, my friends, & also my God. And the months of darkness, where I got to see the beginning of my end, my own inadequacies, & my own inability to rescue myself. After all, I was there to HELP others, wasn’t I? Not to need others.

In all the dark, I was reminded of my own humanity & my desperate need for God & for others. Of how God often would answer my prayers by sending a person… a person to listen to me. To sit with me. To offer a shoulder to me. 

I’m reminded of this all because I’m approaching my 8 year anniversary of that time. It was back on the 21st of September, 2015 (yes, the 21st of September), when I began to see a light emerge in the darkness. God brought a specific connection, someone for me to lean on, who stood with me while I navigated in, through, & around the dark, ever being lead by the Holy Spirt towards the light of Christ. It lead to changes in perspective, transformations in how I saw myself & others, & the ability to embrace grace again, God’s grace for ME.

And I am eternally thankful.

Giving honor: Thoughts on a morning Bible reading

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I read in 1Timothy 6 this morning (6:1,2 to be precise) the instructions given by the Apostle Paul to Timothy, who was to then share the information with those in the church he pastored/led at Ephesus. The passage relates to the behaviors, attitudes, & life outlook of “bondservants” (aka ‘slaves, servants, bond-servants, ones given over to the committed service of another,) toward their masters.

NOTE: Paul doesn’t address here the legality or propriety of slavery; it was merely a reality in the 1st century Roman Empire for approximately 20% of people living within the boundaries of the known Roman world. Therefore, in addition to all the other people groups Paul addresses, he also speaks to those Christians who happen to be serving (living their lives) as bondservants.

To them he says something to the effect: “Make sure to regard your masters as worthy of all honor, so that the Name of God & ‘the teaching’ won’t be hated.” (The teaching he references are the teachings related to living as a Christian, following Jesus Christ as Master, & other such things related to Christian worship.)

This passage got me into a ‘thinking loop.’ Here’s what jumped out:

  • Though he was free & was born a citizen of Rome, Paul regularly identified himself in his writings as “Paul, a bondservant of Christ.” He definitely is speaking here as one bondservant to another.
  • Paul doesn’t address any qualifiers for that honoring of their masters… there’s nothing about “if they’re honorable people, show them all honor.” They are simply to give their masters honor.
  • Since there are no ‘qualifiers,’ there’s also no loopholes. No options. This is it. This is what we do toward our masters.
  • The REASON we do this is for the Name (reputation) of Christ & all the teachings surrounding Christian worship. Our behaviors directly reflect on the REAL Master we serve, Jesus Christ, & as such, those behaviors, attitudes, practices are not subject to our feelings emotions, rights, privileges, etc. We’re living for Him, & showing that by how we relate to our earthly masters.
  • 1Peter 2:12 is of a similar vein to this Scripture – “live such good lives among the non-believers that even if they malign/speak poorly of you, your life & your good deeds will point directly to the reality of WHO God is & WHAT He’s like.” 

Not every passage in Scripture has a direct, one-to-one parallel to my daily life. But there are ALWAYS principles that show up that, if I’m paying attention, I can receive instruction from & gain insight that INFORMS that daily life. Like Paul, I can relate to being a bondservant of Christ. As such, I recognize the implications of that play out every day, in every area, in all I do. And when I’m tempted to respond to a situation (a person or people) in a less than honorable manner, I want to remember that my code of ethics, my behavior, my way of living is not dependent upon circumstances, upon my being treated justly/rightly, or anything else. It hinges upon & is informed by the prime directive: do everything I do in Name of Jesus, for the glory of God.

And then its time to live the life.