Category Archives: Life

New Year’s REVOLUTIONS…

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You know those AT&T commercials where a guy sits at a table with 4 or 5 little kids & asks them questions, then helps guide them on entertaining rambles? Those are among my favorites. New Years’ week, one came out with a kid going on & on about “New Year’s Revolutions…” I laughed. :) (You can watch it HERE.)

Later, I was thinking about “New Year’s Revolutions” – in the context of the “Holy Night” series we just finished. Everyone expected the Messiah, the Christ to bring a revolution – to deliver Israel (using military means) from the tyrannical oppression of the Roman Empire, to reclaim the throne of His ancestor, King David, & to dispense God’s judgment on the enemies of God’s people. Here’s something John the Baptist declared about the mission of the Christ:

“I baptize you with water for repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing fork is in His hand, & He will clear His threshing floor and gather His wheat into the barn, but the chaff He will burn with unquenchable fire.” Matthew 3:11,12

Whew! Fire? Threshing? Judgment? Unquenchable fire? That  sounds revolutionary.

And yet as we look through the Gospels at Christ’s actions, we see a very different picture of ‘revolution’ – Jesus, a humble, submitted servant of God, launching into public ministry with His own water baptism, & visible infilling of the Holy Spirit. He then promptly was led by the Holy Spirit into the desert for 40 days of fasting… & temptation at the hands of humanity’s ancient enemy, the devil. Christ resisted each & every temptation with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit & the proper application of God’s Word, the Scriptures.

It reminds me of the familiar scene in the garden of Eden when Adam & Eve disobeyed God when they gave in to the same devil’s temptation to eat a fruit God had forbidden. Where Adam & Eve’s actions led to humanity’s fall into sin & separation from God, Christ’s example in resisting temptation through Scripture lit a fuse that led to Him declaring the day of God’s favor & the restoration of relationship with God, as sons & daughters, for all who would receive Him.

Jesus did start a revolution… & it is still going on today.

O Holy Night #4 – Making Wrongs, Right…

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Over the last few weeks of our “O Holy Night” series, I have really been enjoying spending time reviewing the revelation of God’s goodness & faithfulness to His people. First, in the accounts of the time between the book of Malachi & the Gospels – seeing God’s working in & through the ‘silent times.’ I have been encouraged with the promises of new hope given to Joseph, Mary, Zechariah, & Elizabeth – which signaled the advent of God’s plan. I have been challenged in the stories of the “waiting time,” aka, the time between God’s promise being MADE & God’s promise being FULFILLED. In preparation for this week’s theme, I have been thinking about a couple of Scriptures that declare a couple of the main purposes Jesus Christ came to earth.

These Scriptures are:

John 10:10 The thief (our enemy, the devil,) has come only to steal, kill, & destroy. I came that they may have life & have it abundantly.
&
1 John 3:8b …The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.

Think about that – Christ came to give us life & life abundantly – & also to destroy the works of the devil. This enemy has been humanity’s adversary since God created people in His image – & the enemy has been working to steal, kill, destroy. As we look around our world, it is easy to find evidences that this satan has been busy.

I love that Christ is actively at work as well – destroying that which the enemy has meant for our harm & damage. That Christ can undo, correct, heal, renovate, restore, & transform those things & make them something beautiful.

This Sunday, the message is called, “O Holy Night #4 – Making Wrongs, Right.” We will have our friend, Mike Mercer from Compassion First (CF) with us to talk about a couple of ways that we can participate in the mission of God to destroy the works of the enemy, make some wrongs, right, & also help some precious people begin to walk into & live out the abundant life God intends for us. Hillside will be receiving a special offering at the end of the service to help support the “Holy Night” initiative – an outreach to the cemetery prostitutes (& their families) of Surabaya, Indonesia. Please consider participating in this offering, & in praying for the work of CF as they continue to work to make wrongs, right, in the Name of Jesus.

O Holy Night #2 – A New Hope…

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One of my favorite parts of the Christmas story is the account of the birth of John the Baptist. His parents, Zechariah & Elizabeth, were childless; they’d been unable to have kids their entire married life together, & now they both were way, way beyond childbearing years (Luke 1:7). At this point in their lives, the dream of having a child, an heir, had moved off of their collective radar, & now most likely just existed as one of life’s greatest disappointments & unfulfilled dreams. And then God intervenes, declaring a new hope, not only for their lives, but for the whole world.

God sent Gabriel the angel to proclaim to Zechariah that he & Elizabeth would conceive, & she would give birth to a son. And the best part was that he wouldn’t just be a ‘miracle’ child… no, their son John was to be the one promised by the Scriptures who would “prepare the way” for the Messiah, the Christ, God’s promised Anointed One. (Isaiah 40:3; Malachi 3:1; Matthew 3:3).

You’d think such a jubilant angelic declaration would be received with shouts of joy… but instead, Zechariah’s response was one of skepticism, negativity, & doubt. This is one of the reasons I love this story – not because I like Zechariah’s displayed lack of faith, but rather because I GET it. After years of hoping for a child, years of disappointment, & years of attempting to comfort his wife in the midst of her/their grief, the message of HOPE hit Zechariah’s ears (& heart) in such a way that revealed that he was “done,” & couldn’t grasp, let alone believe that God was on the verge of a miracle in their lives.

I love the angel’s response to Zechariah’s unbelief: “I am Gabriel, & I stand in the presence of God, & I was sent to speak to you & to bring you this good news. Now, you will be silent & unable to speak until the day these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which WILL BE fulfilled in their time.” (Luke 1:19,20 ESV). He basically tells him – “C’mon, man! This is good news! What I told you came direct from the throne of God – so because of your lack of belief, I’m going to shut you up so you can’t spread the doubt to your wife & others.”

Every time I revisit this story, I feel the Holy Spirit doing a heart-check on me – & I find myself examining where I am… am I open to God’s new hope for my life? Am I open to it even if it is in an area I have given up on? Do I really believe all things are possible for God, if I believe?

During this Christmas season, I’m praying that my heart will be prepped for God’s miraculous new hope for me & those my life connects with.

Can I handle the truth?

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There’s a scene in the movie, “A Few Good Men” where Tom Cruise’s character is questioning Jack Nicholson’s character in a courtroom. Cruise’s character pushes at Nicholson’s, demanding the truth until Nicholson finally snaps & yells, “You can’t handle the truth!”  I’ve been thinking a lot about that in the context of God’s truth & insight into my own life.

I’m on ‘Day 2’ at the Center for Spiritual Renewal in Christiansburg, Virginia. (You can find out more about it HERE if you’re interested.) So far, my time here has mostly consisted of grocery shopping, eating A LOT of BBQ, reading, pondering life, & a whole lot of quiet & alone time. But the highlight of each of the last 2 days for me has been when I get to sit with Chuck, my mentor/counselor/friend, & wrestle through “that which plagues my heart, mind, & life.” Chuck serves as one of my “healing relationships.” (You can find out more about what a healing relationship is HERE.) When we talk, he doesn’t just sit there like a bump on a log & ask inane questions, like, “How does that make you feel?” or go Dr. Leo Marvin on me. Instead, Chuck listens. Asks pointed questions. He draws stuff out of me that I hadn’t even consciously thought about, let alone verbalized. And then he speaks God’s truth to me.

Granted, it’s not always easy to hear the truth; & the Holy Spirit is always good about confirming what he’s said or whispering to me that I really need to pay attention to what was just said – that God was using Chuck to speak life, health, wholeness, & growth to me. That if I could handle the truth & respond to it with appropriate actions, I would continue to see God’s purposes for me & my life continue to grow & develop.

There have been times where Chuck said something & the Holy Spirit nudged me & STILL I was tempted to gloss over what I’d heard. To deny it. Justify or make excuses about WHY I am the way I am. To point fingers at others. To ignore it. To feel sorry for myself. To come face to face with truth & want to turn & run from it to avoid having to do something difficult.

The truth, spoken in love, challenges me to examine & be open to change/be transformed in my thought patterns, behaviors, &/or ways I see myself & my role at home, work, with friends, & others. God’s truth invites me to grow up into being like Christ in my relationships & interactions with others. To leave my childish sin & flesh-encrusted ways behind in order to  intentionally  embrace Christ-likeness, without regard for how (or if) others might act or respond.

The truth isn’t always easy to hear – but when it is spoken in love, with God’s heart for redemption, restoration, & transformation fully evident, it is a lot easier to handle. And the alternative is stagnation. Becoming set in my ways. A gradual(?) deterioration into the results of me living for me. The loss of the ability to hear the still, small voice of the Lord calling me to come to Him to be being made new.

My 2 cents: Find someone who will speak God’s truth to you, in love. Then, handle the truth by responding to God’s instruction. It’s worth it.

Friends

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This week at our church we’re continuing in our series, “Navigating Relationships” with this week’s focus being “Mutual Relationships.” As I’ve been studying for this topic, I keep coming back to an encouragement found in the book of Ecclesiastes. It reads:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, you up! But if there’s no one to help, tough! Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped. The Message

This passage speaks of our need for close, trusting give/take relationships with people that will walk through life with us – in work & play, in times of celebration & mourning. People that will encourage us, help us, & ‘be there’ for us…. & then will allow us to do the same for them.

At times, this sort of mutuality has been a struggle for me – not because I didn’t have a dependable spouse or great friends that would stand with me – but rather because I lived a life of self-sufficiency. It felt ‘selfish’ to lean on people. Worse, it felt like I was not carrying my share of the weight of my life if I tried to bring others into the rough areas of my life.

Instead of leaning on others, I’d pray & seek God’s help – & He did help. But one day when I was praying, I felt God say, “I want to answer your prayers for help, support, & encouragement with PEOPLE.” Faces of friends flashed in my mind – & I recognized what God was talking about – these dear, trustworthy people were already there in my life as an untapped resource – they were people I wanted to support & walk through life with… & they were there to help pick me up when I fall. To be Christ’s ears, hands, & feet to me. I just needed to put aside fear of hurt, take captive the lying thoughts that would say, “You’re weak if you need people,” & be willing to risk. To ask for help.

I still wrestle with this self-sufficiency… but I’m much quicker to pray & then run to the friends who I know have my back, & who’s back I have as well. And as a result, life is much, much richer & much more enjoyable.

Thank you friends. I need you.

Life, right side up, & other musings…

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Friends@FenwayI never thought I would have the opportunity to go to Fenway Park… Boston is on the other side of the country, a mere 2,888.2 miles (by car) from where I live. And then some dear friends moved there to take the pastorate of a church just outside the city… & then there was a hope that somehow, someway, we’d be able to visit them. One day.

One day happened. Jason & Alyse (our theWeez’ namesake) invited theBean & I to come be with them, their family & church for a week in early August. And, Jason said, if we came then, the Red Sox were in town. BOOM! It took me about 3 seconds to consider the invite & we accepted. It was a fantastic trip.

There were a lot of highlights from our time there – here’s a few:

  • walking the streets of downtown Boston in beautiful weather
  • visiting the park known as Boston Common, a place that I saw the whitest human beings in the history of the world attempting to add color to their skin through exposure to the Glowing Orb, which evidently doesn’t make many appearances in the great Northeast
  • watching theWeez & iDoey ride the trains like pros.
  • dining at the fabulous Regina’s Pizza in the North End
  • spending precious time with theAge & Sandra Nell, & getting to check out their new place
  • entering Fenway Park from the crowded street lined with vendors, getting a little weepy at the realization of a dream I’ve had since I was 10.
  • trying to squeeze into the oh-so-small bleacher seats in right field.
  • the anticipation of the space between the top & bottom of the 8th inning – its the time Fenway faithful erupt in a Boston rendition of the Neil Diamond classic, “Sweet Caroline.”
  • Singing “Sweet Caroline,” & catching the experience on video. It was SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD!
  • Hanging out, doing nothing at our friends’ house in the forest.
  • Touring the Sam Adams brewery with theAge & Sandra… (it’s free, & if you go, you will enjoy it.)
  • Getting the opportunity to spend an intensive 3 day period with another church family… & rediscovering the commonality & bond that we have because of Christ.
  • hearing one of the people who attended the conference we spoke at tell us that the speech that evening was “Wicked Awesome!”

Happy sigh.

Our time invested in family, friends, & fun stands in stark contrast to a big section of the life I have lived up to this point. I haven’t vacationed much, relaxed much, let down much. Instead, I work. Study. Pour myself into my tasks. Something in my brain tells me that this is how life is supposed to go, working & producing, & yet I have found that in doing so, I have robbed my family of time that would have been better spent doing nothing. Somewhere fun. Something simple, time away, not working, being together. I have lived a portion of life Upside-down.

Rather than bemoan the messed up priorities & practices of days passed, I’m making changes – turning life right side up. Saying a resounding “No” to the voices & inner clock that drives to dominate my mind, & saying “Yes” to the things that matter. To the pursuit of abundant life, life in all of its fullness. To the taking on of the yoke of Christ, the One who promises rest & restoration of our souls.

It’s not too late.

And as long as I have breath, I will continue this pursuit.

A whirlwind, life happenings, & other musings…

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Whew.
Feels like I have been trying to live in the middle of a whirlwind of activity for the last 2 years… last week was the ‘high point’ of activity, centering on a family road trip to Los Angeles for my graduation ceremony from LIFE Pacific’s MASL program. Pardon the bullet points, but I have a series of fragments floating around my brain I am attempting to put into some sort of pseudo-coherent stream.

  • We drove. A lot. Nothing in Los Angeles was close to anything we needed to go to. By my calculations, we drove about 700 miles while in LA. Boom.
  • Spending time with thePastyGangster & his girl Alex was excellent.
  • Being able to have my whole family together, albeit for a short time, was the highlight of my time. The older I get, & the bigger my kids get, the more & better I understand this. Time together is precious.
  • I need my own bed like an engineer needs their Excel spreadsheets.
  • We stayed with theBean’s auntie Janet – she graciously accommodated our invasion of her home & space – it was a joy to be able to get to know her, & to have her see & get to know our family.
  • The pomp & circumstance of the actual graduation ceremony cracked me up – the outfits we wore (cap, gown, & HOOD,) as well as the get-up worn by the Doctoral faculty of LIFE were from another era… Looked like they were headed to a Renaissance Faire (with an “E”).
  • Now that I have walked in the graduation ceremony, it is now time to buckle down & finish my final project so I can be done
  • Disneyland on Mother’s Day was empty. It must have been the 100 degree temperatures that scared away the locals. We rode the underground & indoor rides as much as we could during the heat of the day.
  • We saw Stevie Wonder in the Main Street ice-cream store at the end of our night. ThePastyGangster waved at him. True story.
  • Dropping Pasty & Alex at the airport on Monday was a sad day. My heart hurts.
  • iDoey went home with my parents Monday, & it was down to theBean, theWeez & me. My heart hurts. Again.
  • I spent most of Monday & all day Tuesday in “Blue Sky Session” meetings discussing & working through the preferred future for the tribe we are a part of… it was encouraging, beautiful, & time well spent.
  • Got home late Wednesday & hit the ground running – wedding rehearsals, youth group, 4 weddings on Saturday, church Sunday, council meeting after church, Mexico mission team meeting after the council meeting… then home. And I crashed.

Tonight is our monthly book talk for “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction” (which I wrote about HERE. To say I am excited about this would be an understatement… the opportunity to discuss one of my favorites with people who are discovering it for the first time gets a big “BOOYAH” from me. And even a “Hey Now!” One of the reasons I love the book is, to me, Peterson captures a central truth of the Christian faith: we are “DISCIPLES who spend our lives apprenticed to our Master: Jesus Christ. We are in a growing/learner relationship always… Further, we are PILGRIMS who spend our lives going someplace, going to God, & our path for getting there is the Way, Jesus Christ.” I can’t wait. But I have to.

Over the last several weeks between Easter & Pentecost Sunday, I have been challenged to expect more. I want to be a person with an exercised, growing, supernatural faith – these last few weeks have been full of miraculous God interventions in our church family, both financially & spiritually. It reminds me of the Scripture in James 4 that tells the reader that they don’t have because they don’t ask. I have to ASK…

Sigh. Time to engage… Until next time…

 

Jesus Is Alive!

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The women, Mary Magdalene, Mary Jesus’ mother, Joanna, & a group of their friends went to Christ’s tomb to wrap His body in spices & precious ointments. As a preparation for final burial. Because they didn’t want the stench of a decomposing body drifting beyond the rock that sealed the tomb, & perhaps, horror of horrors, attracting scavenging animals. They’d wanted to do the preparation of the body right after the crucifixion, but they ran out of time due to the oncoming, God-mandated Sabbath time of rest that seemed to serve as a lurking 24-hour period of anything BUT as they waited, patiently & obediently before gathering themselves at the crack of dawn on Sunday.

Something wasn’t right. There was the tomb, & there was the rock that was supposed to be covering its entrance. Only it wasn’t. It has been neatly, yet forcibly removed from its location so that now it was more of a decoration than an impenetrable blockage. What could this mean? They didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

Two men in the whitest, most dazzling clothes ever appeared to them, declaring, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? Jesus is not dead. He is ALIVE!” The women ran back in to Jerusalem & shared what they had seen & heard, & over the next days/weeks, Jesus appeared, in the flesh, to more than 500 of His followers, challenging His disciples to take the good news message of repentance & forgiveness of sins in the Name of Jesus to all the people of the the world. And the world has never been the same.

Readin’ books, thinkin’ thoughts, processin’ stuff, & other musin’s…

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Just finished going through Scazzero’s “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” again. Check it out if you haven’t.

We used it as a reference point in our most recent teaching series, & also hosted a couple of book talks with a few folks who had finished reading through it, individually (if that makes sense.) The first time I went through the book was back in 2006 at the suggestion of my friend & mentor Chuck. I would guess over the years I’ve read the book 10 or more times. And every time through, something else stands out to me. I think the combo of the 8-week teaching series & the book talks were the most significant in seeing the topic in a different light. Here’s a couple of insights gleaned from our talks:

  • Generally speaking, people don’t have a reference point on how to process through strong, negative, &/or inconvenient emotions. We feel out of control, unsure, anxious, & guilty… & as a result, stuff those emotions in a locked,dark room in their souls that they never plan to visit again. Several people found it helpful to go through a process to get a handle on their emotions; this includes taking the time to experience/feel the emotion, to invite God into the process by asking for His take/His input through reflection on what we’re feeling, then to express those emotions in manner than honors God, that doesn’t sabotage/hurt ourselves, or wound/cause injury others.
  • Christians don’t know how to grieve, mourn, or process through life’s losses. Not just the big ones – like death of a loved one, catastrophies, like war & acts of terror, divorce & infidelity, among others,- but also other losses, like the change in a friendship when someone moves away, the disruption of relationship when a person leaves a church, & even things that look/feel like a POSITIVE change, like graduation from school, or an adult child moving out on their own. Instead, quite a few people deal with loss through denial, avoidance, blaming others, minimizing the loss, rationalizing why the loss isn’t so bad, or developing an addiction (to avoid & numb the pain). The most common way of running from loss that came up in our talks was using God to hide from grieving – this could look like quoting Bible verses, “We don’t grieve like those who have no hope…” as though that is supposed to address the hurt & pain we feel. It could be like offering up words we’ve heard before, like, “The Lord moves in mysterious ways,” or “God must have needed another angel in heaven,” or my favorite, which I have heard from more than a handful of people in response to my own grief at my brother’s passing: “God must have known He was going to fall away into sin in the future, so He took him home now.” Not only do those phrases not help, they don’t accurately portray God as He is revealed in Scripture & in Christ’s incarnation: as predictably, consistently good. And ultimately when people said them to me, I wanted to punch them in the neck.
  • Getting our thoughts out on these topics & talking with safe people helps. I was amazed at how significantly people were impacted as they listened to others, heard that their own story/feelings/experience isn’t unique or weird, prayed together, & spoke words of encouragement to each other.

There’s probably more, but those are the biggies that have been bouncing around my head for the last couple weeks.

Jerry Cook has a new book coming out in the next 8-12 weeks. He’s the writer of a couple of my favorites, including, “Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness,” and also, “The Monday Morning Church.” The next one is called, “So… What’s The Big Deal? Six Events That Changed The World”, & it is written in response to being asked this question: “So… what’s the big deal about the Holy Spirit in the life of a Christian?” I have seen a rough draft of the book & I will tell you this – when it comes out, I’m buying a case of them to give away. Great & practical theology communicated in a manner that a Jr Higher could “get.” Be on the lookout.

Over the last year, I’ve been praying for the kind of clarity where I could say, “I only do what I see my Father in heaven doing.”(John 5:19-21). To me, this means – I’m not just living on purpose, I’m living according to God’s agenda. One thing that I have noticed – a lot of people have an idea of what THEY think I should be doing… & if/when it doesn’t line up with what I think I’m supposed to be doing, it is “relationally uncomfortable.” I’m praying for insights & ways to gracefully communicate with others on this, esp. when I don’t meet their hopes or expectations. A work in process, am I. Thankful that the One who started this process WILL bring it to completion. (Philippians 1:5-6)

So say we all.

Stopping to feel the feelings & other musings…

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Not long ago I had a conversation with a dear friend who was sharing about how different her life was since she began taking the time to “feel her feelings,” especially the unpleasant ones: frustration, helplessness, sadness, grief, anger, hatred, disappointment, & the like. So, instead of ignoring her feelings, minimizing them, making herself so busy she’d ‘forget’ about them, &/or stuffing them in one of the seldom-visited compartments that exist in our minds, she (with the help of the healing of the Holy Spirit) began to feel them. To really experience, reflect upon, & invite God into the waterfall of her feelings & emotional responses to those feelings. Her verdict?

Feeling feelings is hard. A lot of the time it hurts. The feeling/reflecting/responding can lead to difficult & painful conclusions about the state of our lives & the relationships we’re in. They alert us that something needs to be worked through, acknowledged, addressed, &/or processed – activities that hold a promise of pain in the same way cleaning gravel out of a scraped knee does.

I know what she means. The first quarter century of my life I was “feelings challenged” – I didn’t know how to feel the negative feelings, let alone how to process through them. So they were ignored.

The problem is that the unresolved mess floated in my subconscious like a program running in the background of my brain, & whenever a situation would arise that remotely reminded me of any of those weak & negative feelings, I’d have a mini-meltdown. That looked like an outburst of anger, crying for “no reason,” depression, &/or the hopelessness of not knowing how to deal with myself or to make a change.

God provided an outlet of sorts… but it wasn’t like I asked Him to “search my heart” in order to heal & transform me. I prayed vague prayers, read my Bible, did church stuff. A lot of church stuff. Looking back, it was like keeping Him at arms length while asking for a miraculous work that would change my issues in a moment, when what was needed was a walk with Him through the difficulty, the darkness, the proverbial “valley of the shadow of death,” so that the underlying problems, areas of hurt & wounding, places of brokenness & pain could be healed.

The story of God’s work in this area of my life is a long one – & it’s not something I’m going to write about today. However, I do want to highlight one element that ended up playing a big role in this journey for me – reading through the Psalms.

For as long as I can remember, I have read the Psalms everyday – I’m a creature of habit, & my “habit” involved a plan that would take me through all 150 Psalms every month. (You take the day of the month – for example, today is the 6th, & you’d read Psalm 6, add 30 & read Psalm 36, add 30 & read Psalm 66 & so on.) The Psalms provided a back entrance into the conundrum of my feelings – because they are written RAW. The Psalmist (mostly David) pulls no punches in articulating to God EXACTLY what he’s feeling. And what ended up striking me as so odd was that God could HANDLE whatever David threw at Him. Nothing fazed God, even when David was angry, disappointed, frustrated, &/or feeling abandoned by Him. And as David processed through the Psalms, his own heart changed even if his circumstances didn’t. He started seeing himself & his life situations, as hard as they often were, as being firmly in the center of God’s hands. And by “feeling his feelings,” David got a perspective on those feelings that allowed him to keep moving forward as a “man after God’s own heart.” For some examples of David letting it all out, check out these PSALMS

David’s example has been a path for me over the last 15 years. And I’m thankful that God can “take” me when I’m at my very worst – He knows the depths of my heart – He loves me. And is healing me.