Tag Archives: feelings

Stay Close… a theme for 2022

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A couple weeks back I had a conversation with my friend Jake (he’s a trained & licensed therapist/counselor) about ‘feelings.’ One of the things I’ve learned from Jake (& there’s a bunch) is how to better identify & work through my feelings/emotions. As such, something I’ve wrestled with, especially lately, is when I hear someone say something along the lines of “I don’t feel safe…” with whatever reason they have for not feeling safe. Except “safe” isn’t a feeling; it’s not one of the 10 core emotions that all humans have… yep – everybody – regardless of background, culture of origin, etc… (If you’d like to see/hear Jake identify & talk about our 10 core emotions, check out THIS LINK– I’ve found the information & application to be SUPER helpful. Back to the conversation…)

Jake clarified, “Safe” isn’t a feeling – its more of a belief or interpretation, an impression, thought, idea, evaluation of a situation or circumstance.” (Thanks Jake.) Now I GET what is probably meant by “I don’t feel safe” – my guess is that its usually fear that is registering for that person at that moment, based upon what they’re experiencing & how that could affect them.

With that said, & with a bit of a disclaimer: I’ve been a pastor for 30+ years, & until recently, I’ve never felt like I had some sort of overarching ‘theme’ for the year for our church… I said “until recently,” because the last 3 years have been different (Boy haven’t they.) Its not like I sit & think for hours until I “get” the theme for the year… it has just ’emerged’ while I’m going about my preparations for a message, or in my thinking times, or through conversations (like the one with Jake W I mentioned above.) 

While I was pondering ‘safe’ (& feelings, & emotions, & fears, & pandemics, & hysteria, & people, & stuff) what came to mind were a series of stories/accounts from the Bible book of Joshua. Joshua is an account of the Israelite people entering into & taking possession of the Land, including their daunting encounters with the Nephilim: Giant, 1/2 demon, 1/2 human spawn occupying the Land & making up large numbers of the “-ites” the Bible talks about.  

God promised Joshua (the new leader of Israel after Moses’ death) & the Israelites He would be WITH them, He would GO BEFORE them, He would NEVER LEAVE or FORSAKE them, & He would GIVE them the Land. Their job? To believe Him, to meditate on His ways (commands, precepts, teachings, path… think of it as “God’s road for life) & to not be afraid.

I definitely don’t want to get caught up trying to make a step by step, blow by blow comparison of Israel entering the Land & our lives in 2022… but I would like to share a couple of things: 

One of the main ways that we experience attack from the dark one comes through FEAR: he wants us to be intimidated, to be focused solely on our resources (or the lack thereof); to be consumed by our inadequacies & weaknesses. The goal is to keep us bound up, settling for less than God’s promises, mired in inactivity & paralyzed by our very real fears. 

God invites us to live differently. Instead of attempting to overcome insurmountable & seemingly invincible enemies with our own resources & strengths & abilities, He encourages us to STAY CLOSE to Him, to live (walk) as He intends, & to allow our day-to-day to be orchestrated & ordered by Him. And as we do that, we will see Him overcome/conquer/destroy/wipe out the adversaries in front of us.

With all that said, for 2022, our theme at Hillside is STAY CLOSE – what that means can mostly be summed up in these 5 things that help define what this STAY CLOSE looks like, lived out:

  • Stay close to Jesus
  • Be flexible/open to God change
  • Be prepared/get ready
  • Be strong & very courageous – don’t be afraid
  • Be careful to obey everything you know to obey

The days we live in are challenging… & I don’t believe that our adversaries, our ‘Giants,” should merely be explained away as people with wrong thought processes, ideologies, self-destructive practices, control issues, &/or political/religious/national affiliations. Instead, I believe we’re dealing with spiritual forces of darkness that aim to enslave, to steal/kill/destroy, to keep us from becoming who & what the God says we are… 

Therefore, I aim to STAY CLOSE & to do my very best to walk in His footsteps in 2022 & beyond. 

BONUS: check out Psalm 91 – one of the best (my favorite) Psalms on staying close to God.

Stopping to feel the feelings & other musings…

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Not long ago I had a conversation with a dear friend who was sharing about how different her life was since she began taking the time to “feel her feelings,” especially the unpleasant ones: frustration, helplessness, sadness, grief, anger, hatred, disappointment, & the like. So, instead of ignoring her feelings, minimizing them, making herself so busy she’d ‘forget’ about them, &/or stuffing them in one of the seldom-visited compartments that exist in our minds, she (with the help of the healing of the Holy Spirit) began to feel them. To really experience, reflect upon, & invite God into the waterfall of her feelings & emotional responses to those feelings. Her verdict?

Feeling feelings is hard. A lot of the time it hurts. The feeling/reflecting/responding can lead to difficult & painful conclusions about the state of our lives & the relationships we’re in. They alert us that something needs to be worked through, acknowledged, addressed, &/or processed – activities that hold a promise of pain in the same way cleaning gravel out of a scraped knee does.

I know what she means. The first quarter century of my life I was “feelings challenged” – I didn’t know how to feel the negative feelings, let alone how to process through them. So they were ignored.

The problem is that the unresolved mess floated in my subconscious like a program running in the background of my brain, & whenever a situation would arise that remotely reminded me of any of those weak & negative feelings, I’d have a mini-meltdown. That looked like an outburst of anger, crying for “no reason,” depression, &/or the hopelessness of not knowing how to deal with myself or to make a change.

God provided an outlet of sorts… but it wasn’t like I asked Him to “search my heart” in order to heal & transform me. I prayed vague prayers, read my Bible, did church stuff. A lot of church stuff. Looking back, it was like keeping Him at arms length while asking for a miraculous work that would change my issues in a moment, when what was needed was a walk with Him through the difficulty, the darkness, the proverbial “valley of the shadow of death,” so that the underlying problems, areas of hurt & wounding, places of brokenness & pain could be healed.

The story of God’s work in this area of my life is a long one – & it’s not something I’m going to write about today. However, I do want to highlight one element that ended up playing a big role in this journey for me – reading through the Psalms.

For as long as I can remember, I have read the Psalms everyday – I’m a creature of habit, & my “habit” involved a plan that would take me through all 150 Psalms every month. (You take the day of the month – for example, today is the 6th, & you’d read Psalm 6, add 30 & read Psalm 36, add 30 & read Psalm 66 & so on.) The Psalms provided a back entrance into the conundrum of my feelings – because they are written RAW. The Psalmist (mostly David) pulls no punches in articulating to God EXACTLY what he’s feeling. And what ended up striking me as so odd was that God could HANDLE whatever David threw at Him. Nothing fazed God, even when David was angry, disappointed, frustrated, &/or feeling abandoned by Him. And as David processed through the Psalms, his own heart changed even if his circumstances didn’t. He started seeing himself & his life situations, as hard as they often were, as being firmly in the center of God’s hands. And by “feeling his feelings,” David got a perspective on those feelings that allowed him to keep moving forward as a “man after God’s own heart.” For some examples of David letting it all out, check out these PSALMS

David’s example has been a path for me over the last 15 years. And I’m thankful that God can “take” me when I’m at my very worst – He knows the depths of my heart – He loves me. And is healing me.