I enjoyed reading no..el’s post on saying “NO” instead of defaulting to “YES” answers. It got me to thinking about one of the “el guapo’s” in my own life (Three Amigos reference for the uninitiated.)
It’s living out the repercussions or results of my “NO.” I don’t really have a problem saying “NO” when I want to &/or when it’s appropriate to do so. I do, however, struggle navigating through the “punishment” phase of having said “NO”, where the person/persons that I’ve said “NO” to bring all kinds of questions, frustrations, problems, guilt-trips & other junk because my “NO” has displeased or aggravated them. Examples: its the guy on the phone asking for money who gets bent & challenges my Christianity for not hooking him up; it could be the person asking for me to take on a project that I have no time for, as though the measure of a “good person” is being a doormat; perhaps its the person that wants me to do something that violates my sense of personal values, & my “NO” becomes the latest proof that I’m “oh, so self-focused…”
It’s true that this is not necessarily my problem; it’s the problem of the person that doesn’t like to hear my “NO” for whatever reason. However, it doesn’t make it easier to endure knowing this.
I don’t enjoy having people displeased with me, but I’d rather go through this than the ramifications of saying “YES” when I really, truly, with all my heart mean “NO.”