over the last week, i found myself in the middle of a conversation that was more like a “confrontation” than just me talking with someone. i won’t bother getting into the actual subject matter of the “confron-versation”, but i do want to say that it didn’t catch me by surprise; i’d actually spent a significant portion of time reflecting on just what i’d say IF such a confrontation ever broke out. with this person. on this topic. (there you have a great picture of the inner-workings of my brain. joy.)
the point is, though the discussion went a lot like i’d imagined it would, it wasn’t too painful; i said everything that i wanted to, (civilly, even,) thereby avoiding the post-confrontation regrets. much of the apprehension & anxiety i’d felt leading up to it was unnecessary. sitting around thinking & analyzing after the talk (another “scoey-d brain at work” moment,) i realize that i have wasted a lot of time in my life on anxiety. i don’t even want to think about all the other times where i’ve been anxious, & for nothing.
“be anxious in nothing, but in everything, with prayer & supplication makes your requests known to God. and the peace of God which surpasses understanding will guard your hearts & minds in Christ Jesus…” (from the best as i can remember it version)
work this in me God –
I read a secular psychologist quoting a study (I don’t remember who, where, or what, so much for footnotes) that showed that 90% of what people worry about never actually happens.
Of course, I’m worried about the other 10% . . . :-)
so… i am glad i am not the only one who thinks up make believe or what if conversations. and while, when the conversation does come to pass, just as in your case, i am usually nice, i have a hard time keeping a straight face while they talk. mostly because i am too giggly thinking about all the obnoxious and rotten things i had come up with. or the fight scene i imagined. i am seriously buff inside my head. better than Buffy.
but i was convicted that these thoughts are equally as sinful as if i were to say them. for an instant i thought “well then why dont i just say them.” then i realized that wasnt exactly the point God was trying to make in my brain. so i asked why,then, did he make me so darn creative? he is still working in me so he can work through me. and i still amuse myself tremendously!! now you know that if you are having a serious conversation with me about something terrible i did and i seem to pull a mona lisa smirk, i am thinking terrible rotten things about you and you should wrap it up soon cause i am not sure how long i can keep control.
thanks for the warning, “shoney” (I stole that nickname from someone on her blog, isn’t that sweet?!)
From 2 Timothy Chapter 2
23 Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. 24 The Lord’s servants must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone. They must be able to teach effectively and be patient with difficult people. 25 They should gently teach those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will believe the truth. 26 Then they will come to their senses and escape from the Devil’s trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.