Drive-bys…

Plucky’s Pixie Post reminded me of a ‘drive-by’ funkiness that I experienced not too long ago.

A guy, in Christian leadership, that I see about 4 times a year came up to me after one of the events that we both happened to be attending. All of my lifetime interactions with this individual had been at most benign, at best innocuous.

He told me that he needed to talk to me. As we were the last two people in the room, I thought that where we were was as good a spot as any – & couldn’t for the life of me figure out what would prompt this private conversation.

He started the conversation with, “I just want you to know that I have had a problem with you for a long time, & that I’m letting it go. I forgive you.”

Me: “Hmm. Excuse me? What are you talking about?”

Him: “I just wanted to let you know that I forgive you.”

Me: “For what?”

Him: “Ummm… I don’t want to talk about it. I just forgive you, ok?”

Me: “Not ok. You came over to say you ‘forgive me’ & won’t even tell me what I supposedly have done. That’s hippy BS.” (Note: scoey’s filters are down…)

Him: “Well, goodbye.”

Me: “What the heck?”


The whole interchange left me scratching my head:

  • what just happened?
  • what was he saying?
  • what is going on here?
  • how in any world is dropping a random, unsolicited, uncommunicated “I forgive you” on another person, (in Jesus name, of course?)

    So – a drive-by. Hits you when you least expect it. No rhyme or reason. Like someone dumping a load of trash on your property, as though to say, “It’s your problem now…”

    Sigh.

  • 8 thoughts on “Drive-bys…

    1. wow, at least plucky got an explanation… did you ever find out what you did to be so deserving of this forgiveness? or is it still hanging out there? That would drive me insane.

    2. H – :)
      Laura- nope. Never did.

      One thing that has helped me deal with those unknowns is learning not to take responsibility for the things that others try & drop off in their drive by if its a NSI (non-scoey issue.) This isn’t an isolated incidence – it happens a lot, though it doesn’t always look/sound this ‘out there.’

    3. I’m going to take your advice . . . The next time it happens I’m going to scream, “This is a non-scoey issue, mother licker!”

      Okay, maybe not, but the thought gave me a much needed smile . . . As did your post . . .

    4. That’s some pretty self-serving stuff.

      Reminds me when all of the Hillside blogs started and when people would disagree with someone else, they would comment, “I’ll pray for you.”

      They believe they’re so much better than you, but because they’re better Christians than you, too. So it’s your lucky day (those people would probably rather say “bless-ed” day) – they’ll pray for you.

      Just be glad that guy forgave you, or else … it would have still been on him.

      You owe me $5 since I didn’t tell you what I really think of those people.

    5. TPT- NSI. Smiles all around. Yell away, muvalickah!

      Dabey- $5 might be cheap for what you didn’t say. Good insight on the ‘better than you’ stuff. It’s a ‘nice, Christian’ way of judging the heck out of another. Usually while using God & God stuff to keep God at a distance personally. And thinking condescendingly of the poor ‘suckers’ like me in the world…

      You could write (or I could?) a post on the hyperspiritualization of interpersonal interactions… that I’d pay to read. Thanks David.

    6. did you actually say that’s not ok? that’s awesome. you really should have told him that you forgive him for wasting your time. what is the going rate for a pastoral hour these days?

    7. I try not to write about stuff that just ticks me off – it’s not how I process stuff and it just makes me more angry. So it’s all you.

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