My Saturday evening routine is well under way…
I sit at my computer in my room at the little card table I call “The Office” @ Home – (by the way, Mr. & Mrs. H. You’ve got 4 weeks to master the theme song before we go live. I can’t wait. I want to practice it as well…)
If/since I’m doing worship tomorrow, drink an extra glass or 10 of water (for the hydration & the froat…)
Read over my notes for the teaching I’m doing – tomorrow, I’m up for Learning Community on the topic “Praying for Just About Anything” – it brings me comfort & peace to renew & review my notes… usually, something will “POP” into my head to be added or a particular section will become more clear as the area I should focus on.
I’m not doing the ‘Speech’ tomorrow – Shawn L is – on the topic of his blog – so I’m praying for him, as well as our desire to ‘take it where it goes’ (to cop a phrase from my Delirious? brothers…)
I vacuum the room, & meander out into the hallway. Usually I take the opportunity to then empty the canister in the trash can as I seem to be the one who finds that the canister is full each week at this time.
Look into the mirror – wonder if I really, truly have to shave… I hate my facial hair – it itches, & yet the act of shaving is painful, & usually leaves me with a wondering if I’d made the right choice… to shave or not to shave? That is the question…
Read a bit of LOTR
Miscellaneous quirky behavior…
Feel a bit inadequate – wonder if I’m in the right profession.
That leads to some introspection – tonight’s thought has been swirling my brain all week at the monastery… I’m pretty sure that I don’t know what I ‘need’ God to do in me. Sometimes I think I have an idea – now, no. Clueless. A bit foggy. Dim. Makes me wonder in the times that “I Know” if I really have a clue, or if I’m really just proud, delusional, or both…
I just know I need Him. So I can keep standing. To be my sufficiency in weakness & inadequacy. To be faith in my fear.
I love the revelation that you’re working on from the retreat – the joy filled life. Especially when we get into moments of introspection and wondering, it seems to me that these are the times to “count it all joy…facing trials….” sometimes the trial is living with ourselves and our inadequacies. Can we find joy in that??? Hmmm. It’s not my first reaction. But that sense of not knowing what God is actually trying to remind us of again and again – – He is adequate for us all. :D
thanks for sharing. i think some of the most difficult battles are the internal ones.
so are you posting this in hopes that we will suggest areas that God should work on you in? If so, I’ve been compiling a list for a while. i’m just finishing up a few cross-references and proofing the index. i’ll have it in your office by tuesday.