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	<title>scoey&#039;s conundrum &#187; faithfulness</title>
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	<description>just a boy trying to figure it out on the fly...</description>
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		<title>a little encouragement to stand, &amp; other musings&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://scoeyd.com/2011/03/23/a-little-encouragement-to-stand-other-musings/</link>
		<comments>http://scoeyd.com/2011/03/23/a-little-encouragement-to-stand-other-musings/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 Mar 2011 21:56:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>scoeyd</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Musings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Acts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dick Mills]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[encouragement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faith]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faithfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perseverance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Shammah]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scoeyd.com/?p=1136</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I really appreciate the “little” reminders of God’s faithful protection and grace in my life. It’s not that I need to hear something every morning to keep me going, or come across The Perfect Verses Of Encouragement in my scripture reading to stay on track. In fact, it seems that most of my life has [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I really appreciate the “little” reminders of God’s faithful protection and grace in my life. It’s not that I need to hear something every morning to keep me going, or come across The Perfect Verses Of Encouragement in my scripture reading to stay on track. In fact, it seems that most of my life has been <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Long-Obedience-Same-Direction-Discipleship/dp/0830822577/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1300916182&#038;sr=8-1">“…a long obedience in the same direction.” </a>However, some of my most difficult life situations were able to be navigated because of a well-timed encouragement from the LORD in prayer; or a note written by a friend who’d been praying for me &#038; was prompted to pass something on. </p>
<p>One specific time, Dick Mills, a well-known and very prophetic Bible teacher, picked theBean &#038; I out of a church service and quoted <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Samuel%2023:11-12&#038;version=ESV">2Samuel 23:11,12</a> – He said, “You’re going to go through hard, hard things. But you’ll remain standing, &#038; will come out smelling like a rose!” </p>
<p>Sure enough, over the next months, we endured some of our most challenging times in our ministry and personal life… and many times, revisited and rehearsed the word we’d received, holding tight to God’s promises to bring us out the other side. He did, and I’m still thankful for those timely words.</p>
<hr />
In reading through Acts 23, I think that the Apostle Paul appreciated the encouragements he received from the LORD. He’d been stoned at Lystra. Survived a riot at Ephesus. Navigated mobs at Thessalonica and Berea.  Been threatened with violence and death countless times. And that’s not even considering the death mobs in Jerusalem. So when the LORD stood by him one night and said, &#8220;Take courage, for as you have testified to the facts about me in Jerusalem, so you must testify also in Rome,&#8221; it had to be a point of celebration, and a boost to his faith. Not because he was a fearful man, but because God was reminding him, “Don’t look at your circumstances. Don’t listen to the threats and plots against your life. I am your protector, and you still have a mission.” </p>
<p>So the next day, when he was informed there were 40 killers lying in wait to murder him, he didn’t worry what might happen next, for God was WITH him, and with absolute surety, Paul knew that He would never leave him or forsake him. No matter what. </p>
<p>And God even cared enough to encourage Paul, a little reminder of His goodness.</p>
<p>This is our God. </p>
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		<item>
		<title>feed the hungry bird, &amp; other musings on a Friday&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://scoeyd.com/2011/03/18/feed-the-hungry-bird-other-musings-on-a-friday/</link>
		<comments>http://scoeyd.com/2011/03/18/feed-the-hungry-bird-other-musings-on-a-friday/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Mar 2011 15:22:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>scoeyd</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Musings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Acts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[corinth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discipleship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faithfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gospel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hungry bird]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Bible]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scoeyd.com/?p=1124</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’m amazed at how God can use the most mundane of life activities to bring people together. The Apostle Paul left Athens and headed to the booming metropolis (and wide-open mission field,) of Corinth. Left with the question of how he would support his gospel spreading and church planting campaign, Paul fell back on the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I’m amazed at how God can use the most mundane of life activities to bring people together. The Apostle Paul left Athens and headed to the booming metropolis (and wide-open mission field,) of Corinth. Left with the question of how he would support his gospel spreading and church planting campaign, Paul fell back on the trade he knew, tent making. And it just so happened that two members of the local ‘tent-making guild’ were Aquila and Priscilla, a couple of refugees from Rome that had fled to Corinth at the order of Emperor Claudius because they were… Christians. And, just like that, Paul had a team. </p>
<p>Paul’s followed his pattern of testifying to the Jews that Jesus is the Christ, His promised Anointed One. Here at Corinth, the message was soundly rejected, complete with threats of violence against Paul by the Jews. With the non-Jewish Corinthian audience, however, the response is drastically different. They believed. In large numbers, people in a city famous for sexual immorality and wild living flocked to the gospel of grace and the message of justification by faith. </p>
<p>Even though the Jews continued to threaten Paul, he knew that unlike Philippi, Berea, and Thessalonica, he was to stick around Corinth for a while. The LORD Himself confirmed this, saying something to the effect of  “Keep it up. You won’t be hurt. I’ve got lots of people here, and you’ve got lots to preach, teach, and train.” </p>
<p>I often think about how the Apostle Paul wrestled through the dichotomy of the two responses to the gospel at Corinth, where one group soundly rejected and strongly opposed the Good News, and the other joyfully embraced and applied it. I think that this contradiction was at the forefront of his mind as he wrote letters back to Corinth: </p>
<blockquote><p><em>For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God… Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 1Cor 1:18, 22-25 ESV</em></p></blockquote>
<p>One way I like to think about this is that my role in sharing the gospel and investing in discipleship is “looking for the hungry bird.” What I mean is this: when the mama bird comes back to her nest after a morning of worm digging and bug grubbing, the baby bird that gets to eat is the hungry one, the one with the open beak!  In the same way, I want to be looking for the “hungry birds,” those people that eagerly hear and respond to the Good News. This doesn’t mean ignoring others, but rather is a picture of looking for where God is actively at work, and then intentionally partnering with the work He’s already done in preparing the ‘soil’ of their hearts.</p>
<p>I pray that we would have eyes to see the hungry birds in our lives today. </p>
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		<title>Day 11 &amp; 12 &#8211; Deutschland Fall 2010 &#8211; Ottersweier &amp; other fun things to say&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://scoeyd.com/2010/11/15/day-11-12-deutschland-fall-2010-ottersweier-other-fun-things-to-say/</link>
		<comments>http://scoeyd.com/2010/11/15/day-11-12-deutschland-fall-2010-ottersweier-other-fun-things-to-say/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Nov 2010 19:18:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>scoeyd</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Musings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Deutschland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faithfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Foursquare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Home]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[simple life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vineyards]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scoeyd.com/?p=1016</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Day 11 - After a great evening of being wined &#38; dined by the Kern family, I slept great. Woke up to coffee &#38; a small German breakfast with lightly sweet bread &#38; homemade quitten geili mit amaretto (aka: quince berry jelly, with amaretto.) Oh so tasty. I ate waaaaay more than I normally would [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Day 11 -<br />
<a href="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1769.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1024" title="IMG_1769" src="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1769-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a>After a great evening of being wined &amp; dined by the Kern family, I slept great. Woke up to coffee &amp; a small German breakfast with lightly sweet bread &amp; homemade quitten geili mit amaretto (aka: <a href="http://img1.eyefetch.com/p/ap/348274-b8cad775-7a3e-4675-a778-19b71f6fdf61l.jpg">quince berry</a> jelly, with amaretto.) Oh so tasty. I ate waaaaay more than I normally would on a Sunday morning just because it was So. Good.</p>
<p>Julia took me to the church in Otterweier &#8211; it is the only &#8220;free&#8221; (non-Catholic/Lutheran) church in the village, &amp; the building itself faces a mammon twin-spired Catholic church. The Arche Ottersweier (Julia&#8217;s church) has been in existence for 8 years, &amp; has grown to about 50 people, a testimony to the goodness of God, prayer, &amp; the faithfulness of pastor Roland. It is almost impossible to explain the missionary task that they face &#8211; attempting to live out a living, vibrant, loving, gospel-declaring faith in a manner &amp; context that makes no sense in comparison to the traditional way of how things are&#8230; it&#8217;s not uncommon for church goers in the state churches (&amp; Catholic) to not ever have heard, let alone understood, the news that Jesus Christ died for our sins, was resurrected from the dead, &amp; now sits at the right hand of God the Father. People haven&#8217;t heard that salvation is necessary, let alone available to all who would believe, repent from sin, &amp; turn to God through Christ. Roland (&amp; others) are attempting to live out simple, faithful lives, aiming for reaching the next generation with a clear picture of Christ. It&#8217;s a life-long vision, which stands in stark contrast to the &#8216;microwave faith&#8217; culture of a desire for immediate gratification that the Western church can often epitomize.</p>
<hr />
Julia did a great job translating me &#8211; we hung out with the church after the service, &amp; I had the privilege of talking &amp; praying with several people that really just wanted to pray for boldness &#8211; that they would live as witnesses for Christ, &amp; not grow weary. It humbles me to think about it.</p>
<p><a href="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1773.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-1018" title="IMG_1773" src="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1773-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a>Headed back to the Kern house for food &#8211; &amp; Goodness! there was food. Julia&#8217;s grandparents came over &#8211; he was quite the character &amp; from the time he arrived until he went home 6 hours later, he didn&#8217;t cease to give me a good-natured hard time, going into painstaking detail about why Germany is better than America. Good times. <a href="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1772.jpg"><img class="alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-1019" title="IMG_1772" src="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1772-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a>Took a brief nap after dessert, then the whole family went for a walk in the nearby vineyards, (some of which had provided the wine we had last night. Cool stuff.) <a href="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1768.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-1020" title="IMG_1768" src="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1768-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a>The vineyards are laid out on hills in ways that defy gravity, &amp; left me wondering HOW the vinzer (vintner) would go about harvesting &amp; caring for the grapes. <a href="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1770.jpg"><img class="alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-1023" title="IMG_1770" src="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1770-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a>We walked for about 90 minutes at a leisurely pace; the highlights were 3 generations of family humor, an amazing sunset (the top picture in this post,) &amp; Heiko, the boyfriend of Linda, Julia&#8217;s older sister; he wore his Nevada t-shirt proudly, a relic from his visit to the states in 9/2008.</p>
<hr />
In the evening, I was invited out to dinner by Roland &amp; his regional overseer, Jochen (who I last saw at the Foursquare Convention in Atlanta in May, where we had lunch.) They took me to a local restaurant called, &#8220;Blume&#8221; &#8211; which means flower &#8211; &amp; we all got Amerikan Rumpsteak &amp; <a href="http://www.classiccitybrew.com/favoritebreweries_paulaner.jpg">Paulaner</a>, the world&#8217;s best hefeweizen. And it was great, &amp; came with a huge plate of french fries.</p>
<p>We ate to our heart&#8217;s content; I was really encouraged talking with the two of them about their strategy for the region &#8211; they live in an area made up of small villages &#8211; so, they&#8217;re attempting to plant smaller, relationship-based churches that share resources. Each one has a pastor, &amp; each church is &#8216;autonomous&#8217; &#8211; but they all intentionally choose to work together, to cover each other with a layer of relationship &amp; accountability that insures no one (&amp; no church) is isolated or solo. Great ideas that left me with all sorts of ideas &amp; inspiration.</p>
<p>Made it back to the Kern&#8217;s in time for some late night hanging out &amp; prayer; giving thanks to God for the budding relationship &amp; friendship between us, celebrating the commonality we share with other people who follow Christ. Truly precious.<br />
<hr />
Day 12 &#8211;<br />
Today was a travel day, meaning Julia &#038; I had to head to the train station by 9 so we could make our way north, me to Mainz, Julia to Frankfurt; she&#8217;s flying to Norway Tuesday to visit her sister &#038; her family. After a goodbye at the train station, Julia &#038; I navigated our way through the maze &#038; haze that is the DB (German train system.) Our 2nd train connection was randomly canceled, so we were escorted to another train, a high speed one that normally you have to pay big $ to ride on. However, we were assured that because our train was canceled, we&#8217;d have no trouble. Right. :)  </p>
<p>We made it to the first &#8220;ticket checkpoint,&#8221; about 10 minutes into the train ride &#038; took a tongue-lashing &#038; dressing down from an uptight DB agent. Fortunately, we were rescued by a supervisor, but not until we had heard how wrong we were to be on such a fast train without having paid the extra money for the extra speed. Good times. </p>
<p><a href="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1777.jpg"><img src="http://scoeyd.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/IMG_1777-150x150.jpg" alt="" title="IMG_1777" width="150" height="150" class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-1028" /></a>Said a tearful goodbye to our dear Julia, made my way to my meeting point with Jan, the pastor of enChristo church &#038; National leader of Foursquare Deutschland. Normally we do pizza together, but he spared me the anguish of yet Another trip to Italy by taking me to a favorite Chinese place he frequents. </p>
<p>We had deep talks about the state of Foursquare in the US, as well as what is happening in Germany. Good stuff. Both of us were plagued with sneezing &#038; coughing fits, so lots of hot tea was consumed, along with our duck in plum sauce, surrounded by vegetables. Yes really. Can you hear that? It&#8217;s me! I&#8217;m growing. </p>
<p>Caught the train back to Frankfurt, &#038; walked the last couple blocks to Eddy &#038; Laura&#8217;s in the hardest rain I&#8217;ve ever experienced in Germany. I was absolutely soaked by the time I arrived. Changed out of my wet things &#038; into my Reed hoodie &#038; sweats, &#038; warm, dry socks. Ahh. Comfort. Hot tea helped too.<br />
<hr />
Just packing tonight, then heading out with Levent &#038; Ines as soon as I post this. We&#8217;re going to grab some Turkish food &#038; celebrate their pregnancy. Ines is about 7 months along if my counting of weeks is accurate. </p>
<p>I absolutely cannot wait to come home &#038; see my family. Hug myBean. Be with my church family at Hillside. Celebrate a good trip with lots of answered prayers. Sleep in my own bed. </p>
<p>Booyah! And thank you. I am grateful, &#038; filled with thanks tonight. </p>
<p>Blessings to you.</p>
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		<title>Thoughts from Jeremiah&#8230; pondering living waters vs. broken cisterns, perseverance, &amp; other musings&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://scoeyd.com/2010/08/10/thoughts-from-jeremiah-pondering-living-waters-vs-broken-cisterns-perseverance-other-musings/</link>
		<comments>http://scoeyd.com/2010/08/10/thoughts-from-jeremiah-pondering-living-waters-vs-broken-cisterns-perseverance-other-musings/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Aug 2010 13:32:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>scoeyd</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Musings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faithfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jeremiah]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[living waters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perseverance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SOAP]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://scoeyd.com/?p=899</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[FWIW &#8211; this is the SOAP from yesterday&#8230; &#038; a reading/journaling plan if you don&#8217;t have one.. S &#8211; Jeremiah 2:11-13 Has a nation changed its gods, even though they are no gods? But My people have changed their glory for that which does not profit. Be appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked, be [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>FWIW &#8211; this is the<a href="http://www.enewhope.org/firststeps/journaling/"> SOAP </a>from yesterday&#8230; &#038; a <a href="http://enewhope.org/bible/">reading/journaling plan</a> if you don&#8217;t have one..</p>
<p>S &#8211; Jeremiah 2:11-13 <em>Has a nation changed its gods, even though they are no gods? But My people have changed their glory for that which does not profit. Be appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked, be utterly desolate, declares the LORD, for my people have committed two evils: <strong>they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, &#038; hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water</strong>.</p>
<p>4:3,4 For thus says the LORD to the men of Judah &#038; Jerusalem: Break up your fallow ground, &#038; sow not among thorns. Circumcise yourselves to the LORD, remove the foreskin of your hearts, O men of Judah &#038; inhabitants of Jerusalem; lest my wrath go forth like fire, &#038; burn with none to quench it, because of the evil of your deeds.</em></p>
<hr />
<img alt="" src="http://peswiki.com/images/d/d9/Water_spring_350.jpg" title="spring water" class="alignright" width="350" height="350" />O &#8211; The word pictures God uses are rich in imagery &#038; in depicting the futility of the pursuit of idols made of stone &#038; wood &#8211; &#038; God calls upon the heavenly host to be a witness to the unthinkable – that the people of His hand would exchange their glory, God, for something lifeless… the fountain of living waters, the source of life, a spring that never runs dry; reminds me of Jesus’ cry in John 4 &#038; John 7 – that those who come to Him He will cause to have rivers of living water out of their hearts/heart of their being &#8211; &#038; Israel/Judah have exchanged this never-ending supply of life giving water for a hand-made cistern, &#038; a leaky, faulty one at that. And they’re content with it &#8211; &#038; will die because of it, because the very thing they need, living water, they have rejected &#038; have chosen instead their own ways &#038; provisions.</p>
<p>The challenge that the LORD gives to Israel/Judah is to set themselves apart to Him – to plow the uncultivated, unplanted ground – a picture of neglect, laziness, &#038; a call to diligence, &#038; return to purpose. And to NOT sow among the thorns, but on the good ground. Not among the pointless &#038; counterproductive – to not waste their seeds. To not have just an outward circumcision, but one of the heart; an inner set-apartness. Or the consequence will be fire &#038; the wrath of God.</p>
<p>A – both Scriptures challenge me – the 1st to not exchange the provision of God, dependence on Him &#038; His life giving Spirit for a ‘provision’ of my own making – self-sufficiency, &#038; a denial of my very desperate need for Him. </p>
<p>The 2nd is a challenge to stay focused, to stay on task – to not forget or neglect the common or repetitive work – the preparing of the field, the planting of the seed in the RIGHT places – to not just go through the motions, but to mind the details, because what’s planted will grow – with interest.</p>
<p>P – LORD – I ask You to fill me with Your living waters – I’m dependent on You, &#038; acknowledge my need for You &#038; Your Spirit. I repent for self-sufficiency, for functioning on my own competency, for relying on my reserves, my strength, my abilities w/o bringing myself to You for Your direction, life, supply, shaping. Forgive me LORD.</p>
<p>And make me strong – someone that perseveres, endures, is faithful. Who stays on the little things, takes care of details, loves You in word &#038; in action. Weave my fabric strong LORD. </p>
<p><em>Isaiah 50:7-9 ESV<br />
But the LORD God helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, &#038; I know that I shall not be put to shame. He who vindicates me is near. Who will contend with me? Let us stand up together. Who is my adversary? Let him come near to me. Behold, the LORD God helps me; who will declare me guilty? Behold, all of them will wear out like a garment; the moth will eat them up.<br />
</em></p>
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		<title>Habakkuk &amp; some thoughts on &#8216;How Longs&#8217; &amp; &#8216;Whys&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://scoeyd.com/2010/08/06/habakkuk-some-thoughts-on-how-longs-whys/</link>
		<comments>http://scoeyd.com/2010/08/06/habakkuk-some-thoughts-on-how-longs-whys/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Aug 2010 17:04:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>scoeyd</dc:creator>
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		<category><![CDATA[The Bible]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Habakkuk 1:1-4 The oracle that Habakkuk the prophet saw – O LORD how long shall I cry for help, &#038; You will not hear? Or cry to You “violence’ &#038; You will not save? Why do you make me see iniquity &#038; why do You look idly at wrong? Destruction &#038; violence are before me; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Habakkuk 1:1-4</p>
<p><em><br />
<blockquote>The oracle that Habakkuk the prophet saw – O LORD how long shall I cry for help, &#038; You will not hear? Or cry to You “violence’ &#038; You will not save? Why do you make me see iniquity &#038; why do You look idly at wrong? Destruction &#038; violence are before me; strife &#038; contention arise. So the law is paralyzed, &#038; justice never goes forth. For the wicked surround the righteous, so justice goes forth perverted.</p></blockquote>
<p></em></p>
<p>It’s the &#8216;How Longs&#8221; that get me. They stand out as a disappointed cry, laments even, bordering on indignant  anger. Habakkuk sees injustice, wrong, violence, wickedness all around him, &#038; he’s been crying out to the LORD for help with no visible or audible response. </p>
<p>The WHY’s also get me; why do You idly look at wrong? As though Habakkuk incredulous at what he is seeing&#8230; wondering how the LORD God he knows could NOT be acting on behalf of him &#038; his people Israel considering what&#8217;s happening to &#038; with them.  </p>
<p>Part of the how &#038; why this is at the forefront of my thoughts  likely is the book I&#8217;m sloooowly reading through, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Disappointment-God-Philip-Yancey/dp/0310517818/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&#038;s=books&#038;qid=1280515911&#038;sr=8-1">Disappointment with God</a>. Lately, I feel especially sensitized to the laments, sighs, suffering &#038; disappointments in the world around me.  </p>
<p>Its kinda like when you get a new car, say a white Ford Explorer. Then, it seems that everywhere you go, you see these white Explorers all over the place &#038; wonder how you never saw them before. </p>
<p>I recognize in my own heart quiet echoes of these &#8216;How Longs&#8217; &#038; &#8216;Whys&#8230;&#8217; &#038; I wonder if the reason that I don’t stop coming back to God with prayer &#038; expectancy, &#038; I don&#8217;t blame Him for my issues &#038; problems, &#038;/or the tragedies around me is because of what I had to learn through my own &#8216;dark times of the soul,&#8217; like when my brother <a href="http://scoeyd.com/2010/06/17/20-years-ago-an-anniversary/">Johnny</a> had cancer &#038; ultimately died. </p>
<p>In his last day, I vividly remember visiting Johnny downstairs at my parents – seeing the very obviously approaching death in his declining body. It was overwhelming, so I went upstairs &#038; ran outside into what I think was early evening&#8230;</p>
<p><img alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3081/3211234879_fb2b16d54d.jpg" title="Sunset in Carson City" class="alignleft" width="500" height="381" />Remember standing facing the Alpers&#8217; house &#038; the familiar West Carson horizon&#8230; &#038; looking to the twilight sky – praying, crying, asking, pleading in desperation for God to heal my brother, to take away this cancer, to restore his health that he would live. </p>
<p>It was a surreal experience that I think, I know changed me&#8230;  I still remember the sense I got at that moment of God’s Presence. It may have been just my impression, but I also sensed a sadness greater than me. I wondered if it was Him, &#038; He was sad. I thought so. And while I wanted more than anything that God would heal Johnny, I also felt comforted, &#038; at peace. </p>
<p>The circumstance hadn’t changed. Johnny died. But God stood with me, &#038; I knew it. He was WITH me, &#038; I was aware. </p>
<p>Made me thinks that the nearness of God isn’t always tangible, but it is a fact. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Josh1:5;Psalm37:25;2Cor4:9&#038;version=ESV">He will never leave me or forsake me. </a></p>
<hr />
And then Habakkuk gets an answer – the LORD will respond. Is responding. Has responded. </p>
<p>There will be vengeance; there will be chastisement. Intervention. There will be a revelation of His Presence so strong that <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Habakkuk%202:13-16&#038;version=ESV"><em>‘the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD just like the waters cover the sea’</em>  </a></p>
<p>And Habakkuk praises – gives thanks – asks for mercy.<br />
<hr />
<p>LORD, I pray for mercy&#8230; &#038;  I thank You for never abandoning me, for Your Presence, &#038; for Your nearness. Work in me the things You want to see be true of me – thank You for Your patience with me &#038; my questions, for not getting angry at the How Longs or the Why’s. That You love me through it by standing with me. Help my unbelief, fill me with faith. </p>
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		<title>Thankful&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://scoeyd.com/2010/02/28/thankful/</link>
		<comments>http://scoeyd.com/2010/02/28/thankful/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Mar 2010 01:59:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>scoeyd</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[People]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faithfulness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Thankfulness]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Yesterday, there was an 8.8 magnitude earthquake in Chile. A short while after the quake, theBean &#038; I received notice that, as a result of the quake, tsunamis were expected to be hitting various areas of the South Pacific, including Hawaii. Where our 13 year-old theWeez is on vacation with some of her best friends&#8230; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Yesterday, there was an 8.8 magnitude <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704089904575094013194396670.html?mod=googlenews_wsj">earthquake</a> in Chile. A short while after the quake, theBean &#038; I received notice that, as a result of the quake, <a href="http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978073843">tsunamis</a> were expected to be hitting various areas of the South Pacific, including Hawaii.  Where our 13 year-old theWeez is on vacation with some of her best friends&#8230; There were several concerned phone calls we &#038; she received, foretelling doom &#038; gloom. And here we are, in Sparks, Nevada, unable to get through on the phone, let alone do anything to protect our girl. </p>
<p>Being several thousand miles away has its benefits. We prayed. Reminded ourselves that we dedicated Weez to the LORD when she was a baby. That He is our <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2018:1-3&#038;version=ESV">fortress</a>. Our Rock. Our protector. And waited. Watching <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SSpII7kXqs">CNN</a>, wondering what would happen. </p>
<p>Turns out, nothing did. Got a few calls through to theWeez. Talked. Prayed together. Laughed about her times in the sun. She made the Mendive volleyball team. </p>
<p>Whew. </p>
<hr />
<p>Got a call from Pasty at 8:30 this a.m. Words a dad never wants to hear. &#8220;There&#8217;s been an accident.&#8221; </p>
<p>Heart in throat. Cell cutting out. Expedition totaled. Ice. T-boned by another car. Mt. Rose Highway. And nothing.</p>
<p>Thinking back to yesterday. Breathe. Breathe. Call cell. Nothing. Text. Waiting. Praying. Reflecting on my Rock. Fortress. Protector. </p>
<p>Call cell. Brief connection. We&#8217;re ok. Some headaches. Paramedics are here. Cutting out again. Breathe. Breathe. Pray. Peace.</p>
<p>Text from iDoey. Everyone is mostly ok. Some pains. A couple in the car going to get checked out at the hospital, just in case. Cutting out again.  Breathe. Breathe. Wait.</p>
<hr />
<p>Times like this remind me that this is where my faith has opportunity to grow. To be put into practice. Times that are easy, where everything alls as it should be aren&#8217;t stretching. Times where there&#8217;s unknown. Temptation to fear. Worry. Panic. Confronted with faith. And the choice to believe that the LORD is in control, in the middle of my unknown.</p>
<p>Breathe. Breathe. Peace.</p>
<hr />
<p>Everyone checked out ok &#8211; bumps &#038; bruises. Soreness &#038; a headache or two. The car is a mess, but its only a car. </p>
<p>God is good. And we&#8217;re thankful. </p>
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