My mind raced, mentally flipping through the calendar that exists in my head (isn’t there one in yours too?) finally coming to rest on today. Yesterday was June 16th, so that would make today… June 17. Hmm. It’s the 20th anniversary of the day my little brother, John Leavy Locke, went to be with Jesus early on a Sunday morning, Father’s Day, at 4:34 a.m.

I wrote a little bit about my brother not too long ago HERE. And as I sit here pondering the fact that its been 20 whole years since his death & ‘home-going,’ I take the time to revisit & rehearse the memories I hold most dear of my brother. They flicker through my brain like the rapidly turning pages of a picture book.

Folding newspapers together in the early morning as we prepared to go do our paper routes. Football. Soccer. Baseball. Hoops. What an athlete. He was the best of the 4 of us, by far. Rocking the mullet that shook Carson City on Day 1 of his tenure at Carson Middle School. I don’t know if it was the surf shorts, Jetson’s T-shirt, vintage Air Jordan’s or the infamous mullet that got him called to the office as a “distraction.” They hadn’t seen anyone like him before. His mix tapes. The rosy cheeks I see every time I look at thePasty Gangster. The smile. The temper. The baseball being thrown at me simply because I went in to wake him up. The grumpy comments because I was on the phone (again) too late with theBean. And a million others…

But I digress.

Here’s to Johnny – & the profound influence he has had & continues to have on me & the man I hope to be.

What’s it about, you ask? It’s about Story.

Using the context of a movie being made based upon his life, Miller explores the elements of a good story… which ultimately is really about the elements of living a good story, one worth reading. A story of life means deep & meaningful relationships, hope & loss, joy & pain, risk & stretching for the difficult, unique, & hard to obtain.

The Foursquare churches here in Germany have been going by the name FreiEvangelischeGemeindeWerk (FEGW, which, loosely translated means Free Evangelical Fellowship) – just last week, they have officially decided to change their name to Foursquare Deutschland… & part of what I’m here to do over the next week in a few churches is help bring a deeper connection to the Foursquare US church, but also to the heart & values of Foursquare.

Took the car to Earl’s because he has a Cool Diagnostic Tool, which told me (digitally, of course,) that the car had a P0121 Error – meaning that the Throttle Position Sensor was figuratively saying, “Hey now.”

I checked with my resident Subaru experts, Mr. H & Brother, (experts because they both either own or have owned a Subaru in the past,) & neither of them had ever dealt with a P0121. But what they HAD dealt with was the Yellow Check Engine Light Syndrome (YCELS), where an otherwise healthy Subaru would inexplicably display the CHECK ENGINE light. Which would hang around for a day or 4, & then disappear. Brother had even taken his Sube in 2 times, only to be told by the tech, “Um. Not a problem. I’ll reset the code, & you’ll be good to go. $115 please.”

Hmm. Didn’t want that to happen. Also didn’t want to ignore my engine, even if it was only YCELS. So I called my local mechanic & made an appointment to get it checked. On my way to the appointment, the Murphy’s Law of “Check Engine” lights happened – it went off. As in DISAPPEARED.

Took the car in anyway. Mechanic said, “Um. Not a problem. I’ll reset the code, & you’ll be good to go. $115 please.”

Funny.

I am very thankful for the ‘weather change’ we’ve experienced – it’s still a little cold, still a bit windy (we do live in Nevada, so wind shouldn’t be a surprise.) But the thing about the change I’m most thankful for is that we have left our record low temperatures in our rear-view. This thankfulness has been reinforced by 2 things:

Tom introduced me to my new favorite place to eat – Uncle Vinny’s Pizza – breakfast, lunch, & dinner menus. Flat-screens galore. All the better to watch playoff football on. I’d recommend it.

Speaking of playoff football – I loved the Cardinals/Packers game from last week in which the Cardinals won 51-45. I had no vested rooting interest in the game, so watching both teams offenses going off was amazing. Had me glued to the set like no other game of the year so far. (I am a 49er fan. Nuff said.)

Woke up from a great sleep with the memory of a dream… I had dreamed that there was a new episode of Stargate SG-1 airing that evening. Silly me. Might be time for a marathon. Or at least a re-viewing.

A few weeks ago, I was praying & had an impression… kind of a picture & an idea which is one of the ways I hear from God… anyway what I heard was an encouragement, “Read your Bible more.”

No reason, no explanation attached. No condemnation or feelings of guilt, as though I’d neglected it. Just “Read your Bible more.”

So I aimed to amp up my reading schedule – which for a long time has been my ‘own’ schedule, in that I haven’t followed any particular reading plan in a long, long time, almost since I started out with the “Bible Pathways” plan when I was 4. I followed that one for about 6 years, & it took me through the entire Bible in a year.

At some point, probably my early 20′s, I realized that at times, due to familiarity with a passage, I would go on ‘auto-pilot’ & not really pay attention to what I was ‘reading.’ I was physically present, but my mind was miles away. Didn’t want to do that anymore, so I Changed it up. Bought a few “Gift & Award Bibles,” different versions (NASB, NLT, NIV, NRSV, The Message, & most recently the ESV.) Each one cost about $5-6. I’d read through one, then pick up another. But no real ‘plan’ to follow & go through the whole Bible, systematically & intentionally.

The nudge I’d gotten to Read More made me wonder. To ask myself why I wasn’t reading on a plan. And the answer I got back, after lots of questioning & soul-searching, was that I didn’t NEED a plan. Plans were for “other people.” People not like Me.

That sounded a lot like pride. Vanity. With a hint of un-teachable-ness. I didn’t like what was bubbling up. Too good for a plan? So mature in Jesus that I can do this on my own? Um. No.

So I’m on a plan - I’m not following it religiously (meaning if I don’t read the whole amount on the day, I don’t consider the day a failure. Or that I’m behind.) And I need God’s Word in me more than ever, so that I will reflect Him, His priorities, values, & actions, & not those of a negative, bigoted, zealot that overlays God’s hopes, dreams, wants, & practices with his own.

Love Is A Choice – may be the best interpersonal relationship book I have in my library. I recommend it at least 5 times a week. If you haven’t read it, do it!

The list of books on my desk right now:

I like how October feels in the morning. Its distinctly different in its feel & smell. The pleasant crispness of the day, which is not the BITING cold that November brings, but is perfect for wearing my new Snuggie™. Theoretically.

We’re off to beautiful downtown Stockton today – Pasty has a game against Franklin, & we’re making a family voyage of it. I’m already foreseeing a good time being had by all. Road trips mean stops at Local Mini-markets & the rubbing of shoulders with Said Locals. Which = Fun. And I know IDoey will be getting chili-dogs, theBean will load up on sunflower seeds, & theWeez will aim for anything Sour Patch. And maybe I’ll have some McDonald’s Double-Cheeseburgers. The possibilities are endless.

Re-reading some Sherlock Holmes. I almost forgot how much I enjoy the familiarity of the stories coupled with the keen observation & wit of Holmes.

Softball season has ended none too soon. 1x/week since March, & the ball left a few indelible marks on me. Left hand got hit during BP in March. Still bruised. Right shin off of a bad hop in May. Still feeling that. Top of left foot from yet another bad hop last Monday. Achy & tender to the touch, which makes tying my shoes dis-comfortable. And un-agreeable.

Pasty just came home – & theBean made him Second Breakfast. Funny. At least to me.

One of the things that has stood out the most to me is the mention of how things smell – specifically of incense & other rich, deep, good smells, esp. associated with the presence & throne-room of God. We had quite the discussion about how smell is very closely tied to memory… & Michael O passed on the tidbit that the sense of smell is the only sense that bypasses the normal ‘central processing relay-stuff’ & goes straight to the brain. Which, in turn, makes for some very vivid & clear memory making… & at the next ‘smell’ of that scent, a person can be ‘taken back’ in memory to when they’ve smelled it before.

This drove me to the Scriptures & their mention of incense & fragrance in the context of the Tabernacle, the presence of God, & of royalty (more on that later.) What I found really blew me away – in the instructions that the LORD Adonai gave to Moses for worship were included an altar from which incense was to be burned all the time – (Exodus 30). And the incense burned on the holy altar was to be made of a special blend that was not for private use – only for the presence of God.

Another sweet smelling perfume was mixed in with the anointing oil applied to kings…

If you’re interested in finding out more, click HERE to be taken to Bible Gateway…

At the same time as I’ve been studying incense & fragrance in the Scriptures, I’ve been reading a book called Sitting At the Feet of Rabbi Jesus. Its a book that brings understanding to what living as a disciple (talmid) of Jesus would have been like within the culture of 1st century Judaism – with the nuances of Hebrew culture, language, belief, & practice. Good book.

One of the chapters talks about fragrance as well – referring to the John 12 account of Mary from Bethany anointing Jesus’ feet with “an expensive perfume” made of “pure nard” (which I’d recommend you reading about HERE )

The authors mentioned that this anointing event, using this potent & sweet smelling perfume, would have caused the sweet smell to linger around Jesus for a long time – & would have been very apparent even during His betrayal, trial, scourging & crucifixion.

This has made me even more curious – & I am in the process of doing some ‘experiments’ with smell, fragrance, & incense… theBean is not nearly as excited about this as I am…

In my attempts to experiment with incense & the like, I have found through my searching locally that that the only places that I’ve been able to find incense (cone or sticks) or oil for burning have been in the ‘head’ shops, &/or shops that are catering to a pagan, wiccan, or new age clientele… Hmmm. Interesting.

So, resourceful me went to eBay & purchased some incense cones & a little tiny censer to burn the incense in. My package arrived & I wasted no time lighting my first cone of incense… in the kitchen. Ooops.

My experiment was quickly relegated to the garage… turns out that a reason that theBean wasn’t as excited as me about the incense is that she had a negative experience with it – where as a youngster, she & her family went to dinner at someone’s house – & the house was filled with an ‘incense’ smell (you know the smell – no matter what flavor or scent of incense you get, its a smell common to burning the cones…) I asked her about it & she described in minute detail what the house looked like inside, the people, & even what they ate for dinner. How’s that for a 30 year old memory?

I got excited about that… & told theBean that she just proved what I was trying to discover & describe about smells, incense, & fragrance. I must say, though, that theBean remains not amused.

But I am. :)

With that said, I had never read through what many consider to be Lewis’ best work: Mere Christianity – a book that was compiled from a series of lectures Lewis gave on BBC Radio between 1941-1944, during the heart of World War II, a fact that cannot and should not be forgotten as the book is read.

Since I’ve only got about 4 or 5 books on my ‘reading list,’ I decided that now would be the time that I’d finally tackle it… don’t know what kept me from it all these years unless it had to do with my love & preference for the known works, & possibly because so many had suggested that I read it. (No, I’m not passive/aggressive. i just want reading it to be my idea…)

I’m 3/4 of the way through the book, & I’m enjoying it immensely… the provocation of thought, as well as the picture that is given, albeit indirectly, of a period in in Britain’s history as it was teetering on the brink of becoming post-Christian… with one man’s ‘talking’ through belief, & his own reasons to believe. If you like to think, as well as to consider & work through your own philosophical presuppositions, I’d highly recommend it to you.

With Mere Christianity as the backdrop – I’ve been researching & looking for a grad school to ‘attend’ – whether taking classes online &/or finding a program where the amount of onsite attendance is minimal… because I would like to pursue a graduate degree in an area that would supplement & augment my day job & the life I lead now, I’ve been looking at a lot of accredited christian colleges & university programs… And I’ve found a few that have piqued my interest, most notably the program at Gonzaga, which fits the bill for what I’ve been looking for, albeit for the cost of purchasing a highly sought after free agent in one of the major sports…

Something that has been a leeettle bit of a surprise to me is that many (most?) of the institutions I’ve pulled an application for have a policy written into their application addressing ‘conduct’ – a policy that any & all students, whether taking classes in person or online, need to agree to. That policy is one of no drinking alcohol (not moderation, but None. Zero. Zip.,) no smoking of tobacco products of any kind, no drugs, & for many, no social dancing.

I’ve written blogs in the past about my thoughts on alcohol, which you can read HERE. And, like my heroes JRR Tolkien, CS Lewis, Sherlock Holmes, I enjoy reading & writing while smoking my pipe… which seem to DQ me from pursuing higher education from a christian institution unless I’d be willing to falsely sign a peace of paper stating one thing, while living completely differently… which I’m not willing to do.

Nor am I willing to sign a paper agreeing not to drink any alcohol or smoke a pipe as though by doing so I’m ascribing to a standard of holiness that seems to be aimed at bolstering the smug-ness meter of a legalistic religion being passed off as christianity. Sigh.

Now, back to Mere Christianity I came across a section where Lewis addresses “Morality” & “Virtue.” One of the virtues he discusses is “Temperance” – a word whose definition had been co-opted over time to mean Teetotaling, or complete abstinence from alcohol. Lewis’ writes:

It is a mistake to think that Christians ought all to be teetotallers; Mohammedanism (Islam), not Christianity, is the teetotal religion.

Of course it may be the duty of a particular Christian, or of any Christian at a particular time to abstain from strong drink, either because he is the sort of man who cannot drink at all without drinking too much or because he is with people who are inclined to drunkenness, & must not encourage them by drinking himself.

But the whole point is that he is abstaining for a good reason, from something that he does not condemn, & which he likes to see other people enjoying. One of the marks of a certain type of bad man is that he cannot give up a thing himself without wanting everyone else to give it up. That is not the Christian way.

An individual Christian may see fit to give up all sorts of things for special reasons – marriage, meat, beer, or the cinema – but the moment he starts saying the things are bad in themselves or looking down his nose at other people who do use them, he has taken the wrong turning.

One great piece of mischief has been done by the modern restriction of the word “Temperance” to the question of drink. It helps people to forget that you can be just as intemperate about lots of other things. A man who makes his golf or his motorbicycle the centre of his life, or the woman who devotes all of her thoughts to clothes or bridge or her dog is just as intemperate as someone who gets drunk every evening.

Of course it doesn’t show on the outside as easily; bridge-mania, golf-mania do not make you fall down in the middle of the road, but God is not deceived by externals.

Hmmm.

Reviewing my studies for our small group study on Enoch – I really love Brown’s compilation, complete with annotations & Bible cross-references. Even more than the study I love the fact that I get to interact with the people that come to my house. I’m stuck on the ‘reflecting part’ of that right now… on the richness of life that is revealed only in the context of relationships…

Looks like 2 May, 2009, we’re going to be putting on an Art Show/Exhibition/Display/Gala… celebrating the arts, artists, & creativity within our church family & community. More on that later…

The Chronicles of Narnia – 2009… I’m through the whole series again, save for “The Last Battle.” I’ve always had a hard time reading that one because its the LAST one in the series. And when I read it, I go as slow as possible to make it last as long as I can. Don’t know why.

Brother & I are off to the LPC tomorrow for a couple of days – to check out some online schooling possibilities for the both of us, to sit in on a couple of classes, & of course to raise a pint or two while pontificating, plotting, & musing with friends. Can’t wait.

Had a couple of moments today during the speech where I felt overwhelmed… not the bad kind either. Hard to put words to it. For those of you who were there, it was during the quiet time where I didn’t say anything, & again at the end.

If I had to describe it, I’d say it was like the feeling you get when you step into water (ocean? pool?) & find out too late that its over your head. Surprising. But refreshing. Interesting. Can’t put my finger on it. Don’t know if I need to.

How early is too early to brew a pot of java?

Looks like the trip to Portland is on, in spite of the fact that the IR-S still seems to be unable to locate our tax-refund, which is bouncing somewhere near Sock Heaven (the place where renegade socks go after getting lost on their way through the washing/drying cycle.) Bummer. I could use that money at some point.

(BTW: we’re on week 6 of waiting for resolution. But I’m hopeful. But not holding my breath.)

Tonight feels like a soup night. So say we all.

I never really understood how Samson could be one of the “heroes” in the BIble, let alone be used by God to be the leader/judge of Israel – when right smack dab in the middle of the story is the underlying subplot of his life: he disobeyed God regularly. He didn’t keep his Nazirite vows. He regularly had sexual encounters with prostitutes. He had a ‘thing’ for Philistine women – something that eventually ended up costing him his life.

One thing that I never read about, (& didn’t really notice until now,) is that in the story of Samson there isn’t any meaningful connection or friendship with guys mentioned- not even one. His use of women as sex objects is. His consistent chasing of Philistine women is; his making decisions on his own, relying on his ‘gifts, call, & talent” is.

Makes me wonder.

On that note, I came across this article – it explains a bit about the “Samson Society”, something I heard & read about last week; something that I mentioned HERE.

If you’re interested, the book is available HERE. I strongly recommend checking it out…

One of those books is called Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness & it speaks about the church being a place where each of those words is a lived out character trait, extended to people… seems simple enough, almost worthy of a “duh!” Of course that’s what church should be about… but its often not the case, because we (yes, that’s me owning my share of being the Church) have times where we end up living out something radically different, & something that I believe is a different gospel than the one Jesus modeled.

Somehow, someway, to extend love is interpreted as being soft on the sin that has often brought people to the place where they are. Acceptance is seen as weak & tolerant (in the swear word version of tolerant,) & forgiveness is extending ‘sloppy’ grace to people so they’ll stick around the church…

I love how Mr. C explained & then defined ‘his version’ of Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness – & how each one embodies the mission of the Christ-follower, & also allowed Jesus to be at home, be Himself in any & every situation, regardless of who He was hanging around with. Every word needs a definition by the way – because they’re carrying all kinds of weight & meaning around in all of our heads – so, to help us grasp it, he defined the words, then gave examples of what he sees that Love, Acceptance, & Forgiveness are NOT.