Last year I spent a little over a month blogging through the Book of Acts – 1 post per chapter. Several people were invited by a mutual friend to do this with the thoughts that The Collective End Product might be able to be compiled & bound into a book of some sorts.
The (original) project didn’t end up coming together, but a couple weeks back, I found out that several blogs that we’d written had been combined with some others as a part of a devotional book called DAILY ACTS. Sweet. I was really excited & my wife & kids thought it was pretty cool. So we bought a copy of the book. It is good stuff, & not just because I wrote a portion.
There was only one ‘problem.’ Every one of the blog/devotions that I wrote were attributed to “Louie D. Locke, Pastor of Fountainhead Foursquare Church in Carson City, NV.” That’s not me. It’s my dad.
My dad & I are both pastors in the Foursquare Church. We have the same first name. And last name. Over the last 20 years, this has resulted in me getting his anniversary cards. Him getting my correspondence. Both of us getting emails, letters, and phone calls meant for the other. It happens.
As soon as I saw the attribution, I felt something rise up in my gut. I think it was frustration. I felt wronged. I wanted the world to know that it was really me that had written the blogs. Not because I’m a glory hound: at least I don’t think so. Not because I want to be famous. But because I did the work. So I did what I’ve learned to do when I feel ME rising up inside, getting all indignant & frustrated at one of life’s quirky yet painful happenings. I went to a private place & told God what was up. What I was feeling. In gruesome detail. I talked til I was talked out. It wasn’t that I felt much better at the end, but I did feel understood. Like He got me.
Then, a question popped into my head –
GOD – “Why did you write the blogs on Acts?”
ME: “Because I hoped that they’d help people read, study, understand, & apply the Scriptures.”
GOD – “Is that going to happen?”
GOD: “So what’s the problem?”
ME: “I guess I wanted the credit.”
GOD: “It’s not about you. Don’t make it about you. You start making it about you, you’ll try to make yourself known. Someone great, in the eyes of others. Don’t do it.”
GOD: “Remember, whatever you do, you’re doing it for Me. My glory. My purposes.”
ME: “Got it. Yes Sir.”
The frustration lifted. My head cleared. And so did my heart.